by Lily Baxter
Maggie glared at her. ‘You’ve been eating chocolate. It’s all round your mouth.’
‘So what?’ Annie demanded, wiping her hand across her lips. ‘It was given to me by that nice young private, Joe Wysocki. At least someone appreciates me.’ She tossed her head and flounced out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
‘One day she’ll go too far,’ Maggie said, reaching for a biscuit. ‘She knows I like chocolate.’
Miranda smiled to herself as she sat down to pour the tea. Nothing ever changed at Highcliffe.
An hour later she rode back to Warmwell feeling much happier than she had for a long time. It was dark when she arrived at the castle and there was an army ambulance parked in the yard. She did not think anything of it as she stowed her bicycle in the lean-to as Tommy had taken to visiting on a regular basis. She had thought at first that he had renewed his interest in Rita, but then she realised that it was Joan who had caught his eye, and that the feeling was mutual. Viv and Rita teased them mercilessly but Tommy parried their comments with his usual good humour, and Joan simply shrugged and told them to mind their own business.
Miranda hurried inside, shutting the door to keep to the strict blackout regulations that applied even in such an isolated spot. She had been about to tell them her good news but everyone had stopped talking. ‘What’s the matter?’ she demanded. ‘Why are you all staring at me?’
Rita stood up hastily and pulled out her chair. ‘We’ve been waiting for you to come home. I think you’d better sit down.’
Chapter Twenty-Two
MIRANDA FOUND THAT her legs had turned to jelly and she slumped onto the hard wooden seat. ‘What’s happened? For heaven’s sake tell me.’
‘Don’t panic,’ Rita said, patting her on the shoulder. ‘It’s good news.’
Miranda waited for someone to elaborate but there was a sudden silence. She looked from Joan to Viv and back to Tommy. ‘What?’
‘Stop shilly-shallying about, Rita,’ Joan said impatiently. ‘It’s quite simple. Raif Carstairs ditched in the Channel and was picked up by the Germans. He’s been a prisoner of war all this time, but the news has only just filtered through to us here.’
Miranda frowned as she struggled to come to terms with the fact that Raif had survived. ‘I suppose his father must have known. How typical that he didn’t choose to share it with Jack and me. That man is unbelievable.’ She glanced round at their anxious faces. ‘Was there any more information?’
‘We don’t know what sort of shape he’s in,’ Rita said cautiously. ‘But he’s alive and that’s the main thing.’
‘Well, it is good news.’ Miranda managed a smile. ‘But you frightened the life out of me. I don’t think I could stand many more shocks today.’
‘What’s happened?’ Rita demanded. ‘Mad Dog hasn’t had a sudden relapse, has he?’
Miranda took a deep breath, hoping that she was not going to let herself down and burst into tears of happiness. ‘My mother might be coming home soon. I only found out this afternoon.’
A cheer went round the table and Tommy reached across Joan to grasp Miranda’s hand. ‘That’s good news.’
‘She’s gone a bit pale,’ Viv said, eyeing Miranda warily. ‘Is there any booze left in the bottle? She looks as though she could do with something to buck her up.’
Rita went to the mantelpiece. ‘Some blighter’s drunk the last little drop. Who’s the guilty party?’
Miranda started to laugh and found that she could not stop.
‘She’s hysterical.’ Viv leapt to her feet. ‘Shall I slap her?’
‘Put the kettle on,’ Tommy said hastily.
She glared at him. ‘What good will that do?’
‘It’ll stop you from slapping her for a start.’ Tommy put her arm around Joan’s shoulders. ‘Are you all right, love? You’re very quiet.’
Joan shook her head. ‘I’m fine, but Miranda’s in a state of shock. That’s your department, Tommy. You’re the medic.’
Miranda took several deep breaths. ‘I’m okay now. I’m sorry, but it was one thing coming on top of another. I suppose we’ve all got used to expecting the worst and now the end of the war’s in sight it seems almost too good to be true.’
‘Tell you what,’ Rita said, taking her coat from its peg. ‘Let’s all go to the pub. Jack said he’d meet us there if Miranda got back in time. I’m sure we all need something stronger than tea.’
Everyone was chatting over drinks at the bar, but Jack drew Miranda aside. ‘How do you feel about Raif? I know it’s none of my business, but you’re my niece and I’m very fond of you. I wouldn’t want to see you hurt.’
She swallowed a mouthful of cider, almost choking on her drink. ‘I might have fancied him once, but not now.’
He nodded but his expression was serious. ‘I’m glad to hear it. He might be Izzie’s brother but he’s too much like Max for his own good.’
‘I think you’re being a bit hard on him. It’s not fair to put Raif in the same category as his father.’
‘Maybe not, but I’m glad that you’ve escaped the fatal Carstairs charm. It almost wrecked my parents’ marriage and very nearly stopped Izzie from marrying me. I wouldn’t want the same thing to happen to you.’
‘I love you, Uncle Jack,’ Miranda said, smiling and stressing the word uncle. ‘So don’t take it the wrong way if I tell you to mind your own business.’
‘I suppose I deserved that, but you know I’m only thinking of your own good.’
She drained the last drop of cider from her glass and held it out to him. ‘Buy me the other half and we’ll forget all about it.’
Although the story of Raif’s survival was the main topic of conversation in the workshop next day, Miranda was aware that the girls were deliberately avoiding the subject in her presence. She was at first puzzled and then resentful. When she overheard a scrap of conversation between Viv and Rita during their tea break and his name was mentioned, she had simply had enough. ‘What’s the matter with you all?’ she demanded angrily. ‘Don’t stop talking about him just because I’m here.’
‘It’s not like that.’ Viv’s cheeks flushed scarlet and she glanced helplessly at Rita.
‘We were just saying that he had a lucky escape,’ Rita said defensively.
‘So why stop when you saw me coming? Everyone’s talking about him in whispers.’
Rita thumped her enamel mug down on the workbench. ‘Because we all knew you had a thing for him, Miranda. Don’t deny it. I was there when you first met. Remember?’
‘But that was years ago. It was a crush, that’s all.’
‘One you never quite got over.’
‘That’s nonsense. You all know that I’ve been seeing Gil.’
Viv backed away. ‘I’ll leave you two to fight it out. It’s got nothing to do with me.’
Miranda caught her by the sleeve. ‘No, you don’t, Viv. Let’s sort this out once and for all. I am not interested in Raif Carstairs romantically or in any other way. I might have been once, but not now. I’m in love with Gil.’ She recoiled, clapping her hand to her mouth. ‘I don’t believe I just said that.’
A slow smile curved Rita’s lips. ‘At last.’ She turned to Viv, nodding her head. ‘Isn’t that what we were saying before Miranda started eaves-dropping?’
Viv nodded energetically. ‘Yes. That’s right.’
‘And you’ve finally admitted your feelings for Gil,’ Rita said smugly.
‘It just came out.’ Miranda felt her cheeks burning. ‘I didn’t mean it.’
‘You’re seeing him next week on your day off, aren’t you?’ Rita said slyly. ‘That should be interesting.’ She nudged Viv. ‘I’d love to be a fly on the wall then, wouldn’t you?’
Miranda caught an earlier train than she had intended to and when she reached Southampton she took a taxi to the sale rooms. She had spent several sleepless nights thinking things through and had decided that she could not go on playing a cat and mouse game with Gil�
�s mother. Fliss might be on her side, but she was now living in the nurses’ home and her time was taken up with work and study. Miranda also suspected that Fliss had more than a professional interest in Captain Forbes, and although she was sympathetic, her mind was on other things.
After much soul searching, Miranda had decided that it would be best to turn up unannounced. She had telephoned the office the previous day in order to check that Mrs Maddern would be taking the sale, and so far everything was going to plan. She paid the cabby and braced herself for her encounter with the woman who had the power to spoil everything. She was under no illusion as to Gil’s feelings for his mother, and the last thing she wanted was to put him in a position where he was forced to choose between them. Bracing her shoulders, she went inside.
The office door was ajar and she could see Daphne Maddern sitting behind her desk with her immaculately coiffed head bent over what looked like a sale catalogue. Miranda was suddenly nervous. Everything depended on the outcome of her confrontation with the most important woman in Gil’s life. Taking a deep breath, she tapped on the door and entered without waiting for a response.
Daphne raised her head and her expression hardened. ‘What can I do for you, Miss Beddoes?’ Her tone was icy.
Miranda took a seat in a buttoned leather chair. She chose to sit rather than stand so that their heads were more or less on a level and she could look Mrs Maddern in the eye. ‘I think it’s time we had a talk.’
Daphne closed the catalogue with a decisive snap. ‘I don’t think there’s anything I have to say to you.’
‘Maybe not, but I have a great deal to say to you.’
‘I’d prefer it if you left now.’
‘I’m sure you can spare me a few minutes when it’s your son’s future in the balance.’
Daphne threw back her head and laughed. ‘Oh, please. Don’t be so dramatic. Gil is doing very well without you.’
‘And have you asked yourself why that is?’
‘He’s receiving the best treatment available and he’s determined to conquer his disabilities. Gil is a very special person.’
‘I couldn’t agree more. I’ve got to know him really well while he’s been in hospital. We’ve corresponded regularly and I’ve visited him as often as possible.’
‘He didn’t tell me that.’
‘Gil loves you and that will never change, so don’t make him choose between us.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. Gil would never go behind my back.’
‘Ask Fliss if you don’t believe me.’ Miranda rose to her feet. ‘I love your son and I believe that he loves me.’
‘You mean you’ve come here to boast about a relationship that exists only in your imagination?’
‘No. Gil was too honourable to tell me he loved me when he thought that he’d be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life, but even if that were the case it wouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference to me.’
‘The doctors say that he’ll walk again,’ Daphne said slowly. ‘His rehabilitation will take time and even then he’ll never be fit enough to fly. Are you telling me that you would be happy to spend your life with a disabled husband?’
‘I’ve been a long time admitting it to myself, but I love him for the wonderful person he is. Nothing else matters.’
Daphne leaned back in her chair, staring at Miranda. It was hard to imagine what she was thinking but Miranda gave her look for look. She would not be the first to turn away. The silence between them stretched into infinity but was broken by one of the porters who stuck his head round the door, clearing his throat. ‘Excuse me, Mrs Maddern, but the sale is due to start in ten minutes.’
‘I’ll be there.’ Daphne dismissed him with an imperious wave of her hand. She waited until the door was closed before rising from her chair. She walked round the desk, coming to a halt in front of Miranda. Her expression softened. ‘Do you know, I think I believe you? You’ve certainly got sticking power and you’ve got a nerve coming here to face me.’
Miranda inclined her head. ‘I won’t disagree with that, but this is too important to me to do anything by halves. I don’t want to sneak about as if I were doing something wrong.’
‘That hasn’t stopped you before.’ A glimmer of humour lit Daphne’s steel-blue eyes.
‘No, but that was different. I’m a different person now – I’ve lost people I loved because of the war, including my father. I haven’t seen my mother since she was sent to France to work under cover, and my uncle’s young wife and unborn child were killed by a German bomb. All that’s happened has made me think very hard about what’s important. I’ve also come to realise that however much Gil cares for me, it would ruin our chances of making a future for ourselves if it made you unhappy.’
Daphne stared at her, frowning. ‘I can’t make out if you’re sincere or merely trying to manipulate me for your own ends.’
‘Do you really think I’d have come here today if I wasn’t in earnest? I want everything you want for Gil. I’d do anything for him.’
‘I think I might have misjudged you, Miranda.’ Daphne’s eyes were bright with tears, but she held up her hands as Miranda made a tentative move towards her. ‘I don’t hug. Anyway, you’d crease my costume and I’ll be going outside in a few minutes to take the sale.’
‘And you don’t mind if I continue to see Gil? Nothing is settled between us. He might have changed his mind for all I know.’
‘I won’t stand in your way.’ Daphne moved to the door and opened it. ‘Actually, I think I’d be quite disappointed now if it didn’t work out between you. You’ve got courage and you know your own mind. Perhaps he needs someone like you.’
‘Thank you.’
‘And now I’ve really got to do my job.’
Miranda followed her out of the office and had to push past a queue of people waiting to take their seats for the auction. It was not until she was outside standing on the pavement that she realised she was shaking from head to foot. She leaned against the fascia until she had regained control of her limbs. Even then, as she waited for a bus to take her to the hospital, she could hardly believe that she had managed to win Daphne Maddern’s trust. It had been a battle hard fought, but now she had won she would have to face Gil. He had tried to explain his feelings to her on numerous occasions but she had always managed to change the subject. It was not going to be easy to find a way to tell him that she had been a blind fool. It would be even harder to admit that a small part of her had been in love with Raif all along, and that news of his survival had somehow released her. If she could not understand the workings of her own emotions, how could she explain them to him?
She arrived at the hospital with butterflies in her stomach, feeling like a child waking up on Christmas morning expecting to find that Santa Claus had left a pile of presents on the end of the bed. It was something of a shock to find Gil’s bed empty and neatly made up. There was no sign of him and for a moment she imagined that he had been stricken with a terrible affliction and had died in the night. Then commonsense reasserted itself and she realised that she was panicking for nothing. There must be some innocent explanation and allowing herself to fall apart was not going to help. She sat down, waiting for her pulses to stop racing, but almost immediately the door opened and she leapt to her feet again as Fliss helped Gil into the room. To Miranda’s surprise and delight he was walking with the aid of crutches.
‘Look at me, Miranda,’ he said, grinning. ‘I bet you never thought to see me on my feet again. I’d almost given up hope myself.’
‘Isn’t it marvellous?’ Fliss guided him to the chair that Miranda had just vacated. ‘He’s surprised everyone by his rapid progress. However, it’s very early days.’ She took his crutches and leaned them against the wall. ‘You mustn’t overdo things, Gil.’
Miranda licked her dry lips and swallowed hard. ‘I don’t know what to say. It’s absolutely fantastic.’
‘I’ll be flying my Hurricane ag
ain before you know it.’ Gil reached out to hold her hand and his smile faded. ‘What’s the matter, Miranda? Aren’t you pleased for me?’
The thought of Gil returning to active duty almost paralysed her with fear, but she could not tell him so. ‘Of course I am,’ she said, making an effort to sound enthusiastic. ‘But the war’s got to end soon, and they won’t need fighter pilots.’
‘I wouldn’t bet on it. But whatever happens now I’m on the mend, and I’m going to get away from this place soon, even if I have to tunnel my way out.’
‘You’ll have to tie him to the bed if he doesn’t do as he’s told,’ Miranda said, turning to Fliss with an anxious smile.
Gil chuckled. ‘That has different connotations now, girls.’
‘Don’t be naughty, Gil.’ Fliss frowned at him, but her lips twitched. ‘Anyway, I’ll leave you two to have a chat. I’ve got other patients to look after and some of them are really sick, not malingering like you, brother dear.’ She bustled out of the room.
‘She’s all starch and bossy as hell,’ Gil said fondly. ‘I never thought my big sister would become an angel of mercy.’
Miranda withdrew her hand gently. ‘Actually, I came to tell you something, Gil.’ She pulled up a chair and sat down beside him.
‘That sounds ominous.’
‘I’ve been wrong about so many things, Gil. I don’t quite know where to start.’
‘I told you once you’d make a rotten poker player.’ His smile faded. ‘I can tell by your face that it’s something important.’
‘It’s me. I’ve been a complete idiot.’ She took a deep breath. ‘You remember I told you that Raif had been killed?’
He eyed her warily. ‘Yes, of course.’
‘Well, he’s not dead. He’s been a prisoner of war all this time. When I heard about it something seemed to click in my brain. Everything’s different now, Gil. I don’t know how to put this but …’
He held up his hand. ‘It’s all right, Miranda. You told me on our first date that you’d had a thing for Raif Carstairs since you first met him.’