“At your office?”
“Why not right here?” She gestured to a couple of open doorways.
He didn’t much go for the idea of meeting in an interrogation room, but the space was available, and he did want to get this over with.
After a quick word with the desk sergeant, he escorted Janice into a free room. She set her briefcase on the scarred tabletop and settled back in her chair.
He took the one opposite hers.
“How have you been sleeping?” she asked.
“Better. Much better. Like a baby, in fact.” And it was true. As he had told Andi, she had helped him sleep. I’d rather dream about you than have nightmares any night. What he hadn’t said was what an accomplishment that had been.
“How’s the knee doing?” she asked.
“Great. I just got cleared for desk duty by the surgeon this morning.”
“Ah. How does that make you feel?”
He’d learned to hate that question.
He set his jaw and stared at the blank white wall behind her for a moment before looking back. “We’re closing in on our final session.” He smiled to soften his words. “Shouldn’t we be moving on? Aren’t these meetings supposed to show progress on both sides?”
“Some of my clients seem to think so,” she said drily. “What they sometimes don’t want to acknowledge is that progress can mean taking a few steps backward. When we do that as a team, I can help them face reality. And that also often involves sharing their feelings.”
He laughed. “Come on, Doc, I’ve told you before. I’m a guy. And a seasoned cop.” Again, he thought of what he had told Andi. “I don’t do feelings.”
“Except at the appropriate times.”
He narrowed his eyes. She might have gotten him into a claustrophobic interrogation room, but she wasn’t trapping him in this conversation. “Such as?”
“When you’re trying to get a suspect to crack, you play on their emotions.”
“Well, yeah. Whatever works.”
“If you’re confronting someone holding victims at gun-or knifepoint, you talk them down.”
“Sure. Basic negotiation.”
“And when you have a friend upset about a problem, you help him think the situation through.”
“Of course.” He laughed shortly. “Okay. If you want to talk about dealing with reality, take a look at this scenario. A woman with two kids. Recently lost her husband. She thinks her in-laws are having trouble letting go. They don’t want to believe he’s dead, are trying to act like nothing happened, and—” Swearing silently, he cut himself off.
“And they don’t want to talk about how that feels.” She tugged on her glasses to eye him over the frame. “Like someone else I know.”
How many times had she tried leading him down that road? Not sleeping at night, having those nightmares, might be a sign you need to voice your feelings.
As she stared him down, he sighed. “All right. You don’t need to beat me over the head with it.”
She laughed. “You know I would never do that. This woman is someone you know personally?”
Intimately. He shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets. “We...went out when we were teenagers.”
“You saw her again on your visit back home.”
“Yeah. For the first time in a long time. Since we were teens, as a matter of fact.”
“That must have brought back memories—”
“It sure did.”
“—which are often based on feelings. And those feelings frequently hover just beneath the surface—or even come out into the open—when those memories are being shared.”
He grimaced. “You got me there, Doc.”
“I don’t want to get you, Mitch. I want to help you. The way you want to help your friend.” She smiled. “You could start by asking her—”
“I already know. She told me how she feels.”
“Then maybe it’s your turn.”
“I did tell her. She doesn’t want to listen, and I’ve got nothing more to say.”
“Sounds like it’s time for negotiation...if you want to see progress on both sides.” When he didn’t reply, she added, “Now we are close to the end of our sessions, I’ll ask you the same question I did in our first meeting. How do you feel you’ve been affected by the trauma you suffered?”
He shrugged. Drummed his fingers on the edge of the table. Looked away from those all-seeing eyes. “I’ll have to get back to you on that one.”
Again, he thought of Andi.
How could he expect something of her he couldn’t manage to do himself?
* * *
IN THE DAYS Mitch was away, any time Andi found herself on her own, she couldn’t help thinking of him. So she did her best to make sure she was never alone.
That wasn’t as difficult as she had expected.
During preparations for the rehearsal dinner and wedding, she found a never-ending list of jobs to keep her mind on business.
Once the bridal party and wedding guests began arriving, she had even less time to brood. Her family, including Ginnie, had less time to question her about Mitch. They were all so busy entertaining the Hitching Post’s guests.
Once in a while, she had to sidestep a comment about him. She managed that. What she couldn’t bear was Trey’s puzzled expression when he looked around a crowded room, then asked, “Where Mitch?”
It was only in her room at night, when she tossed and turned and watched her children sleep, that she stopped fighting her thoughts.
Mitch hadn’t contacted her once. She mulled over everything they had said to each other since their last conversation, ran through every bittersweet moment of their one night together and wondered about the results of his doctor’s appointment.
She thought of his accusation about not being willing to move on. She had moved on...except when it came to him.
Most of all, she thought about the story he had finally told her. She couldn’t begin to imagine the horror he had gone through at losing his partner. She didn’t want to think about the pain and guilt he had carried ever since. And she couldn’t find the words to tell him how much it hurt to know everything he’d had to face.
All things she had to put behind her, too.
By the time the wedding reception ended on Friday night, she was both physically and mentally worn-out.
She sank onto a seat in the banquet hall and propped her feet up on the chair beside hers.
“Sandra made a beautiful bride,” Tina said from two seats away.
“And a happy one,” Jane admitted from the opposite side of the table. “I had my reservations, but everything all worked out. She ended up raving about every one of our services.”
“I can’t wait till we see Abuelo in the morning.” Tina smiled. “He’ll be so thrilled to know the wedding—”
“—went off without a hitch!” After chorusing his familiar phrase, all three of them burst into laughter.
“Really,” Tina added, “you did a great job, Andi.”
“We all did,” she said. “It was a joint effort. Plus it was fun.”
“And look at it this way,” Jane said, “after you-know-who, any other event here ought to be a piece of cake.”
They all laughed again.
“I’m going to take these platters to the kitchen,” Tina said. “See you in the morning.” She headed out of the banquet hall ahead of Andi and Jane, who rose more slowly to follow her.
“It must be a relief to feel you’re off the hook.” Jane smiled. “Since you agreed to stand in as planner only for this first wedding, you are now free.”
“Yes.” Free to move on. Free to leave Cowboy Creek.
Free to walk away from Mitch. This time, forever.
Chapter Nineteen
Mitch stepped into the Hitching Post’s lobby and saw just the woman he wanted to see.
Andi was standing near the reception desk talking to Tina, who stood in her office doorway. Even as he froze, his training
kicked in. He saw the new wreath on the front of the desk and the garland draped along the edges. He noted the rows of Christmas cards hung from strings across the wall behind the desk.
In the same swift glance, he took in Tina’s welcoming smile and Andi’s apprehensive expression. A second later, he felt the tightness in his chest when she looked away.
“Well, you’re an early bird,” Tina said with a laugh. “I’m not sure Abuela even has the coffee going yet. I’ll go check.”
Mitch held up a hand. “That’s okay. I’m only here for a few minutes.”
Tina nodded. “Then I’ll get back to work.” She went into her office behind the reception desk.
He looked at Andi and tilted his head toward the empty sitting room. “Got a few minutes?”
Andi nodded, and he followed her into the room. There were changes in here, too, a stuffed snowman standing in one corner and a ceramic Santa-driven sleigh and reindeer prancing across the mantel. On the shelf beside the chime clock sat a wooden donkey with a tilted sombrero and a red Christmas bow.
He smiled. “Looks good up there.”
“I had to put him out of Trey’s reach.” She took a seat on one of the couches.
He stood near the fireplace and counted reindeer. “Looks like you’ve got a full crew.”
She nodded. “Speaking of crew, we’ve got the waitresses who worked the reception last night coming in soon. Did you say you only had a few minutes?”
“Yeah. I’m headed to the sheriff’s office to see my dad. I wanted to talk to him about a few things. And I wanted to run them by you, too.”
She looked surprised, but said nothing.
“My appointment went well. I’ll be going back to duty soon. And I have to admit, this enforced leave from the job has had its benefits. Besides getting to see you again, it’s given me some time to think. Getting involved in the op in Arizona has done that, too. And now I hear my dad’s planning on retiring. Everything coming together like this has helped me make some decisions.”
Still no reaction. He pushed on. “There’s going to be an opening for a deputy sheriff here in Cowboy Creek. And I intend to apply for it.”
The positive reaction he had expected didn’t come. Instead, her expression went completely blank, as if she couldn’t summon politeness or even a passing interest. He couldn’t take her silence. “No comment?”
“What do you want me to say?” She kept her voice low, but he could hear the repressed emotion. “I love you. You know that.” She took a deep breath. “No matter what you think about my situation with Ginnie, that has nothing to do with what’s between us, except for the fact that I am moving on.”
“That’s irony for you, isn’t it? When I encouraged you to do that, I didn’t mean away from me.”
“I have to, Mitch, for my kids.”
He took a half step toward her.
She shook her head. “Please don’t. And if you’ve somehow tied us in to your decision to stay in Cowboy Creek, please don’t do that, either. Don’t make us your reason for giving up your job in LA.” She stood and wrapped her arms around herself as if she’d felt a chill.
This time, he didn’t move.
“I’ve told you how I feel about getting close to someone in a job like yours. I can’t.” Her voice broke. “I can’t face the thought of Trey and Missy someday finding they’ve lost another daddy.”
He stared silently at her. He had nothing more to say.
Andi stood frozen in place and watched Mitch turn and walk away. It broke her heart to see him go.
She wanted to change her mind. To call him back. To run to him and tell him—
Her thoughts were interrupted by a scream.
“Jed! Dios mio—ayudame!”
Andi started. The cries had come from the hallway leading to the kitchen.
The office door opened. “Abuela,” Tina said in a hushed voice, her eyes wide. “She needs help.”
Mitch was already across the lobby when Paz appeared in the doorway.
“Jed,” she gasped. “On the floor. He won’t wake up.”
Mitch brushed past her and strode down the hall.
Paz followed. Andi rushed across the sitting room and ran behind Paz and Tina.
In the den, they found Jed sitting on the edge of the couch, flapping his hand as if to shoo Mitch away.
“I’m fine,” he insisted. “Just had a weak spell. Nothing a drink of water won’t cure.”
“Sit back, Jed,” Mitch said quietly. “You’ve got all the ladies worried. Let’s just take a look to put their minds at ease.”
From behind her, she heard running footsteps in the hallway. Robbie and Trey burst into the room.
Wide-eyed, Robbie gasped. “Grandpa’s sick?”
“Sick?” Trey echoed.
“Grandpa’s resting,” Mitch said firmly. He made eye contact with Tina. “Didn’t Pete say Daffodil was waiting to see the boys this morning?”
“Yes,” she said quickly. “Yes, he did. Come on, you two, Abuelo’s busy. We’ll come back to see him after we visit Daffodil.” With one hand on either boy’s shoulder, she steered them from the room.
Mitch glanced over at Paz.
Andi looked in her direction, too. The older woman stood wringing her hands and staring at Jed.
“How about a glass of orange juice for this guy, Paz,” Mitch suggested.
She nodded. “Yes, I’ll bring it right away.”
He had said just the right thing. Giving Paz something to do in her kitchen would calm her.
“Andi, could you call for an ambulance?”
“Ambulance?” Jed roared as Mitch pulled the afghan from the back of the couch and draped it around his shoulders. “Don’t you do it, girl. I don’t need an ambulance.”
She was relieved to hear the strength in his voice, but wasn’t about to give in to the demand.
As she crossed to the desk, Mitch said evenly, “Jed. Paz found you out cold on the floor. If the situation were reversed, you would want reassurance. Your family deserves that, too.”
Jed glowered at her. She reached for the phone.
“I trust Mitch, Grandpa. If he thinks you need to get checked out at the hospital, I’m calling for the ambulance.”
* * *
ANDI KEPT A close eye on Jed as he ate from the tray table pulled up to his hospital bed. “You make sure you finish every bite,” she told him.
“I’m your granddaddy, not one of your kids,” he grumbled.
But at the twinkle in his eye, she sighed in relief. She would never forget that ride in the ambulance Mitch had convinced Jed to take to the hospital.
Thanks heavens, his episode had turned out to be short-lived, stemming from a case of vertigo and a missed meal.
“I just can’t believe you skipped dinner last night, Grandpa. Everyone might have been busy serving at the reception, but if you felt hungry, you should have raided the refrigerator.”
He shrugged. “With all you women running in and out, it was more than my life was worth to set foot in that kitchen.”
Tears sprang to her eyes. “Don’t say that!”
Sheepishly, he patted her hand. “And don’t you take on, girl. It’s just an expression.”
“One I don’t ever want to hear again.”
“You won’t.” He pushed the empty tray aside. “But I make no guarantees about what you’ll hear if a doctor walks in here. I don’t know why they feel the need to lock me up in this place overnight.”
“It’s just for observation. They want to make sure you’re hydrated properly before they send you home in the morning. You know that.”
“A beer in Paz’s kitchen would do me just fine.”
“Oh, Grandpa,” she said, laughing weakly and shaking her head.
The scare this morning could have been so much worse. Jed could have been facing a more serious condition. He could have hurt himself when he’d fallen to the floor. He could have passed out while Mitch wasn’t around to take charge and c
ounter all Jed’s arguments.
As if he had read her thoughts, he said, “That young man of yours certainly knows his mind.”
He wasn’t her young man. Her fiancé. Her anything. She forced a light tone. “Sounds like some other bullheaded man I know.”
He attempted to glare at her, but his lips twitched in a smile.
This morning, once they had arrived at the hospital and she had been reassured Jed was in good health, her thoughts turned to Mitch again and again.
He cared about Jed. About her. He was so good with the kids. As Grandpa had once said, he would make a good daddy someday. She already knew he was a wonderful lover.
But his choice of career—what he did, who he was—meant he could never be the man for her.
As tears sprang to her eyes again, she made a pretense of straightening the hospital sheets.
She had watched Mitch in action, calming everyone down and quietly taking control of the situation. Today, he had been her hero.
“What else is on your mind?” Jed asked quietly.
“Grandpa... Mitch and I aren’t really engaged.” She sighed. She hadn’t planned to tell him this way, but she couldn’t keep up the pretense any longer. And she had a feeling Jed had suspected all along.
He sat back and rested his folded his hands on the sheet, as if settling in for a long chat. “I’d guess there’s more to the story than that.”
Vainly, she tried to decide the best way to handle this conversation.
As if he had seen the struggle in her face, he said, “You know how I like to hear my news, girl. Flat-out straight.”
Her laugh ended on a sob. His familiar phrase always made her smile, but she’d never heard him say it so gently.
She gave him a shorter version of what she had told Mitch about her worries over Grant’s family, and especially her concerns about Ginnie. She left out the arguments Mitch had used to convince her to accept his idea, but confessed what they had hoped to do by pretending to be engaged.
“Your hearts were in the right place, I’ll give you that,” he said. “Family’s important, more important than the two of you probably know yet. Look at what we’ve lost in the past few years, Andi. Not having your mama and your husband with us is sad enough. And look at how the rest of us have all grown apart. Time and distance both take their toll. It’s important to keep in touch. To stay close.”
The Lawman's Christmas Proposal Page 17