“I can speak.” Cassie turned to the doctor and calmly replied, “I’d like to get an epidural.”
Commander Johnson smiled. “I’ll send the anesthesiologist right in.”
When she left the room, I pulled up a chair and sat down, looking down on Cassie with concern. “Blondie. That epidural thing is a big fucking needle. You can get something in that IV, can’t you? Isn’t that what they told us in those classes?”
“Alex! I can’t deal with this pain any longer. I haven’t slept well in weeks, and I’m just physically tired. The epidural is my best bet.”
“She’ll be fine, Alex,” Nat chimed in. “My sister got that and it was a breeze.”
I looked from Cassie to Nat, making sure I gave her a dirty look, and then back to Cassie. For the first time in what felt like forever, I saw a smile caress her beautifully pouty lips.
“Alex. I’ll be okay.”
A new doctor and the corpsman came back into the room with a tray full of instruments and one long-ass fucking needle. Seeing that thing on a TV screen was one thing, but seeing it in person was another; it made me sick just looking at it.
“Hello, Cassie. I’m Dr. Myers and I’ll be administering your epidural today.”
He went on and on about how he would place it, what she would feel, and so on. He asked for the room to be cleared out, but I stood my ground. No way in the fucking world would he and this shithead kid, that I didn’t know from a stranger on the streets, be left alone with Cassie to push this ridiculous-ass needle into her back.
I made sure he knew that I was staying right where I was, and there would be no discussion about it. Whether he relented because he didn’t want to fight about it, or if he saw the sincerity in my eyes, it didn’t matter. Cassie was my number-one priority, and I would be there to protect and nurture her any way that I could.
Cassie leaned forward, resting her head on my chest. I held her tight, closing my eyes so I didn’t see the needle as it went into her back. She tensed a bit, causing the doctor to stop what he was doing. When she relaxed again, he continued his work. All in all, it was about fifteen minutes later when I laid her back down, and the doctor and the corpsman left, allowing Nat and Dalton to reenter the room.
“How ya doin’, buttercup?” Dalton asked, inching into the room with a candy bar in hand.
“I’m already feeling better. Thanks,” Cassie replied, her eyes slowly but surely shutting.
I wanted her to rest because I knew when the time came, she’d have a hell of a lot of work in front of her.
Dalton, Nat, and I struck up lighthearted conversation but kept our voices low, effectively taking my mind off of Cassie and allowing her to finally get uninterrupted sleep. The corpsman came back a few times, checking to see if she had dilated any further.
An hour after her epidural, she was already at six centimeters. Another hour later, she was at eight to eight and a half. She was moving along rapidly, and the more she progressed, the more nervous I grew.
“Hey, Alex! She’s okay. This is a good thing.”
Nat’s voice broke my nervous rocking in my seat. I hadn’t realized what I was doing until I became aware of it.
“I know.”
“You’re like Chris. That’s why I told him to just stay home.”
“I’m stoked,” Dalton excitedly chimed in. “My little godson will be here any minute now. This is exciting as hell.”
My narrowed eyes rested on him, wiping away his little shit-eating grin. “It’s a girl, Dalton. I know what I put in there.”
He dismissed my words with a wave of his hand. “Whatever that baby is, it’ll be here soon and I’m excited as hell. I’m glad this happened on a weekend, too. I’d be pissed if I had to be at work and I missed this.”
I finally allowed a smile to shine his way. Dalton was everything Cassie had always told me he was, a true, loving friend who loved her with everything he had. I was happy that he was in her life, and would ultimately play a part in our child’s life. Like my own godson, Abel, I wanted my kid to have good, strong influences in her life.
“Shit! Did anyone call my sister, and my abuelita?” I asked in a panic.
“I texted Adriana shortly after I got to the hospital,” Nat calmly answered. “She said Abel is sick, so she won’t bring him out here, but to let her know as soon as Cassie has the baby. And your grandmother won’t drive here without Adriana.”
“Okay, but they know? That’s all I care about.”
“Oh, and I called Emmalyn also.” Nat squirmed a little at that admission. She knew that woman was a sore subject for me.
My eyes widened and I sat up straighter, hating the thought of Cassie’s mom being anywhere near us when such joy was about to enter our lives. She had gone to rehab, then checked herself into a more intensive program. For all intents and purposes, she was working hard on not being such a heinous bitch, but after everything she had put Cassie through, I couldn’t see her as the loving grandmother she was attempting to be. She would always be a stain on my mind, a permanent reminder that awful fucking people really do exist in this world. I prayed that something—anything—would keep this woman away.
“What did she say?”
“She asked to be kept in the loop and when Cassie has the baby, she’ll try and come out.”
I couldn’t help the sudden happiness that overcame me. Emmalyn wasn’t going to come and taint the biggest day of our lives, and for that, the woman deserved a fucking medal.
“Well, good. Best news I’ve heard all day.” I stood and stretched, catching the confused looks on both Nat and Dalton’s faces. “It just means I won’t have to share this shit with Emmalyn. That’s worth celebrating.”
They both nodded, then Nat took a call from Riley, filling him in on what was going on with Cassie. I made a mental note to rib that pansy-ass fucker when I saw him, considering this was my wife who was lying here, about to push a baby out of her crotch. He was reacting worse than I was, and I was sure that he deserved to be fucked with over it.
Finally, about another half hour later, the corpsman came back into the room, ready to check Cassie again. He sat at the edge of the bed and when he examined her, a very large and enthusiastic smile filled his face.
“It’s time for her to push your baby out, Staff Sergeant. Are you ready for this?”
A lump caught in my throat, rendering me speechless. This was really about to fucking happen. The corpsman patted me on the shoulder, just before assuming his position at the end of the bed where Cassie was spread wide open. I hated the fact that this asshole was getting a good look at her, and wanted to punch his fucking face. But he was the link to my daughter, so I refrained from the insanity-laced thoughts and remembered that the priority here was Cassie and delivering a healthy baby.
He gave her instructions on how to push, ordering Dalton and me to take each of Cassie’s legs. Nat stood to the side, looking over my shoulder when she could, pacing the room at other times. Cassie started pushing, turning red while blowing breaths. I couldn’t tell if anything that was supposed to be happening was actually happening. The corpsman and the other nurse in the room were cheering her on, encouraging her to keep up what they called excellent pushing.
It dawned on me that there was no doctor in the room and I suddenly went into panic mode, wondering if these nurses would be the ones to deliver my baby into the world.
“Where is Commander Johnson?” I hastily blurted out.
“Commander Johnson will be here soon. Cassie is making excellent progress and we’ll be calling for the doctor at any minute now.”
Another ten to fifteen minutes went by. Cassie was still pushing and the doctor still wasn’t there. I was beginning to sweat. My forehead was slathered, my armpits filled, my chest coated. I was a perfect match to the sweat filling Cassie’s brow, even though I wasn’t working anywhere near as hard as she was.
Cassie had been pushing for an hour when she began to whimper. Her skin was flushed, her eyes clo
sing every so often from exhaustion. “I’m tired, Alex. I don’t know if I can do this anymore.” Tears began to slide down her face, making my heart hurt for her.
I was fucking exhausted just watching her, so I could only imagine what she was feeling. It sucked watching her work her ass off, with little to no results to show for it.
“You only have a little more to go, babe. You can do this. You’re a Cruz, you can fucking do this.”
The corpsman and the nurse looked to me, making me stare back in frustration.
“Why the hell is the baby not coming yet?” I yelled, feeling the weight of my frustrations and Cassie’s all at once.
“She’s close. If you look down, you can see the baby’s head with her next push.”
I took a peek, seeing a little head full of dark hair with Cassie’s next push, but like a fucking tease, the head went back inside when she stopped pushing, allowing a feeling of disappointment to settle in.
After about ten more pushes, Cassie blew breath after breath, crying out that she didn’t have anything left and that she wanted a C-section to just take the baby out.
I leaned down and placed my lips to her ear, leaving the rest of the room out of our intimate conversation. “Listen to me, Blondie. You can do this. You’re a badass, a Marine, and most importantly, my wife. We relish a challenge and this is your biggest challenge yet. You’re going to push our baby out and become the biggest, baddest type of person to walk this fucking earth. You’re going to be a mom, and nothing fucking tops that, Cassie. Nothing. So, let’s go. Dig deep, baby. Dig deep and show these fucking people what you’re made of.” I kissed her tears away, then stood and held her leg as she bore down and pushed with all her might.
“Commander Johnson is on the way,” the corpsman announced. “Keep pushing, Cassie, you’re so close.”
The doctor walked into the room, quickly dressing in what I assumed were delivery clothes, a gown of some sort, then assumed the position that the corpsman had previously occupied.
“We are so close to having a baby here, Cassie. A few more pushes and I can proudly announce that you are both brand-new parents. Now, let’s go. Bear down and count to ten, all right?”
Cassie did just as she was told, and within a few more pushes, the head of my child was making its way out into the world. The sight of a tiny head full of dark hair gently easing out made tears build up inside me.
“Come on, baby. You’re close. You’re so close,” I told her.
“Stop right there, Cassie. The cord is slightly around the baby’s neck,” Commander Johnson said.
I looked down to see the thick, grayish cord, which was quickly removed. Cassie continued to push, yelling out the closer she got to delivering the baby.
“One more good push and you’ll have a baby, Cassie. Give it everything you’ve got. Let’s go,” Commander Johnson announced, making my stomach flutter.
Cassie did just as she was told and before I could blink, the baby was out and in the arms of the doctor. I leaned down and kissed my wife, who was my fucking hero at the moment.
There was no cry. Everything I had ever been told was that when the baby came out, they came out screaming, and that was a sure sign that they were okay. Our baby wasn’t crying, wasn’t even making a peep, and it made my heart stop beating. I was already in love with this little one, and to think that anything was wrong with her would kill me before I even I had proper time to digest it.
“Why isn’t the baby crying?” I asked, panic filling my voice. My chest tightened and my eyes began to water. I looked down at Cassie, who had the same look of fear spread across her face.
The doctor held the baby and rubbed her roughly, making her squirm, and she finally let out an ear-piercing scream. It was the most beautiful sound I had ever fucking heard.
“Some babies just need a little prodding,” she explained. “Do you know what you’ve had?”
“No. We wanted to be surprised,” I responded through deep breaths, finally feeling relief settle within me.
“Well, I can proudly say that your son is a very good-looking dude. Congrats, Mom and Dad. You have a boy.”
A boy! It never crossed my mind that we would have a son because I was so fixated on having a girl.
“A boy! Woo-hoo!” Nat cheered. I looked up to find her on the phone. “He’s a big boy, too. Not sure how big just yet.” She placed her hand over the mouthpiece. “Adriana says congratulations.”
I couldn’t believe it, but in that moment, that quick little moment where my fantasy had become reality, an insurmountable amount of joy crested over me like a tidal wave. Instantly I was bathed in equal amounts of happiness and pride at the fact that the next generation of the Cruz family was here, and that I had worked with the most amazing woman this planet had ever seen to get him here.
After the nurses worked on the baby, they wrapped him up and brought him over to Cassie, placing him in her arms as she shed a couple of tears while kissing his tiny face. I wiped away my own tears, then leaned down and kissed my wife, thankful and grateful for her and everything that she had been through to make our little family whole.
“You’re amazing, Blondie. Fucking Superwoman, you know that?”
She laughed, then gently hit my hand. “Watch your mouth. Your son is taking all of this in.”
I couldn’t believe it. My son. The words didn’t seem real, but at the same time, they never sounded better. I took the baby from Cassie and sat back in the chair next to her bed, cradling my little guy and looking into his tiny eyes, overwhelmed by the amount of love that I already had for him.
“So, what’s his name going to be?” Dalton cautiously asked, probably trying not to interrupt the moment.
I hadn’t given any thought to boy names because I was so sure that we were having a little girl. A pinch of sadness hit me when I realized that I wouldn’t be naming my firstborn after my mom. That was all I’d wanted. I had promised myself when she passed that I would name my daughter after her, and now that wouldn’t be happening. I missed my mom more than anything in the world, and my promise would have to wait, much to my dismay.
“We’re naming him Mattis. Mad Dog Mattis.”
Dalton broke out in laughter, causing me to join in. Nat looked on in confusion, while Cassie simply smiled and rolled her eyes.
“What’s so funny? I’m lost,” Nat asked.
“Alex has lost it, Nat. That’s all.”
“What?” I lifted my eyebrows in mock indignation. “You don’t want our son to be a badass? With a name like that, he’d have no choice.”
“We are not naming our son after a commandant, Alex. Get real.”
I actually thought it was a kick-ass name, and it suited my boy. Mattis Cruz. It had the perfect amount of badassery to me.
“I’ve been thinking all along that this was a boy,” Cassie said, “and I was right. I think it’s best if he’s named after the biggest badass I know . . . his dad.”
My eyes quickly shifted to Cassie, who lay there staring at me with admiration in her eyes. I wasn’t a badass. I was losing it during this entire ordeal while she was going through it, taking it on like a fucking champ.
My heart felt a little larger in my chest as I whispered, “Are you serious, babe?”
“Dead serious. I can’t think of a better name for him. Alejandro ‘Alex’ Cruz Jr.”
Looking down at my son, I spoke his name aloud, watching him squint and squirm, and realized that there was no better name than that.
“Can we give him my mom’s maiden name for his middle name?”
“Absolutely, babe.”
“Alejandro Gutierrez Cruz Jr. I love it.”
The nurse came and took little Alex, then measured, weighed, and poked him, making him scream. I quickly went into defense mode, jumping out of my seat and making my way across the room to see what she was doing to him.
“He’s a strong boy, Dad,” the nurse said with a smile. “Eight pounds, eleven ounces, and twenty-two inch
es long. I’m going to take him back to Mom and see if he will latch on for his first feeding.”
Cassie whipped her tit out, making me a little uneasy. Dalton was still in the room, and I didn’t give a fuck if tits weren’t his thing, Cassie’s didn’t belong in his line of sight. He must have caught my unease because he announced that he was going to head down to the vending machines and grab something to eat.
Little Alex latched on right away, making Cassie squeal with his overly aggressive sucking.
“He’s definitely your son, Alex,” she joked, finally resting as he continued his onslaught against her.
I gave a little snort. “Damn right. Boy knows what he wants.”
“Um, I’m going to go and call your mom, Cassie. Give you guys a minute,” Nat chimed in, before quickly exiting the room.
When we were finally alone, I took in the reality of my new life with my wife and my son, and felt like my life had come full circle. Cassie looked over to me with a smile that looked permanently etched onto her face.
“I love you so much, Alex. I love you for being you, for making me your wife, but most importantly, for giving me AJ.”
“AJ?”
“Alex Junior. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.”
I settled into the chair next to her and held her hand as AJ continued his feeding.
“You have no idea how much I owe you, Cassie. I owe you my life because you just made it that much better. That little boy is pure fucking perfection and it’s all thanks to you. I see life differently now that he’s here, and all of that is because of you. I am forever indebted. I have no idea how to ever repay you.”
She closed her eyes and smiled. “Just continue to love me and this little boy like we’re the last people on Earth.”
“As far as I’m concerned, you two are the only people on Earth. You two are my world, babe. The sun, the moon, and all the fucking stars in the sky.”
Cassie smiled, then rested her head to the side as AJ continued to feast.
“But I’ll tell you this. AJ better know this is on loan. These tits are mine, and as much as I love him, I’m not willing to give them up.”
Moments In Time: A Collection of Short Fiction Page 7