I am finally free; I am unleashed.
• • •
Waking up in a real bed is a luxury I haven’t experienced in over a decade. I roll around in the plush bed linens as the silkiness of the satin sheets caress my petite body, welcoming me like a million ambassadors of comfort. Giggling softly to myself, I revel in my first morning of freedom, and wish I could hold on to this moment forever. I bring my hands up to feel for my collar, praying this isn’t a dream, and purr out loud at its absence.
“I see that you’re pleased with your room.”
The soft voice startles me from my private celebration. I sit up and see Savannah lounging in an oversized chair while sipping a cup of coffee, a smile spread across her angelic face.
I nod and gnaw on my bottom lip, embarrassed that she just witnessed my childish behavior. “Yes, I don’t even know how to express my gratitude properly. I don’t know why you came back for me, but thank you so much, Miss Savannah. You truly saved my life!”
Still beaming at me, she stands up leisurely and I am once again reminded of her exceptional beauty. A white tank top shows off her toned arms and stomach while hugging her full chest, and gray pajama pants hang low on her curvaceous hips. Her dark hair is piled on top of her head in a messy bun, and as she pads across the room toward me, I see that her eyes have returned to the emerald color they were when I first met her; however, I now take note of the gold specks that glimmer throughout her irises.
She joins me on the bed and takes my hand in hers without hesitation, as if we’ve known each other for years. Hugging me to her chest, she strokes my hair and shushes me. I haven’t felt kindness and affection like this in so long that I honestly forgot how wonderful it is.
“Shhh . . . there’s no need for thank-yous. As soon as I returned here to the others and told them about you, Ryker gathered the boys together and we got there as fast as we could. I could hear the desperation in your voice, saw that contraption around your neck, and I knew that you were in bad shape.”
Savannah leans back a little, putting enough separation between us to where she can look down into my eyes. “I have so many questions for you, little one, but I don’t want to push you. Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here.” She pauses briefly, rubbing her thumb gently across my cheek. “We would never keep you against your will, but know that if you need a pack to join, you’re more than welcome to stay here. There are a little more than twenty of us total, and we’d love for you to join us.”
Overwhelmed by her compassion and kindheartedness, I stare mutely at her as my eyes well up in tears of joy. What I have been praying for night after night, year after year, has finally come to fruition. Even though this does not make up for or replace my family in any way, I am finally being given not only the opportunity to live freely as a shifter, but to be part of a family unit.
Trying not to sob, I dash away my tears and pull myself together. “I’m willing to tell you my story whenever you wish. There’s not really much to say as I’ve lived in captivity since I was ten, but whatever you’d like to know . . .”
“Ten? For fuck’s sake! Where . . . how . . .” She shakes her head in disbelief. “Wait. Do you mind if I get Ry in here to listen to the story as well? He’s going to want to know all of it, too, and that will save you from having to tell it again.”
I smile shyly and nod. “No, that’ll be fine.”
She hops off the bed with great agility and disappears out of the room, calling out for Ryker, who I assume is the alpha male I saw in the church. I’m still having trouble processing everything. It seems like life is now happening in fast forward in front of my eyes, but my brain is stuck in slow-motion mode.
I take the moment alone to look down at what I’m wearing, a red cami and plaid boxer shorts. Whose clothes are these? I don’t remember much from the previous night, except that we arrived at a heavily gated and guarded compound after leaving the church. Savannah ushered me up to a room, where she set me up a nice, warm shower. I saw others standing around the grounds when we arrived, most of them trying not to stare at me, but at that point, I couldn’t have cared less. I was drained—physically, emotionally, and mentally—and all I could really do was hope that they accepted me. After the shower, my memories are all hazy until waking up here in the oversized bed this morning.
I hear voices coming down the hall and suddenly I’m nervous. I hope that Ryker and the rest of the pack are as nice and welcoming as Savannah. She said they would love for me to stay, but I really want them to like me. My dad was the alpha in my pack growing up, so I never feared him or was intimidated by him, but I know that many were. Now I understand the apprehension they felt; the approval of the alpha male is vital and will influence the way the others will see me.
Savannah enters the room first, her face brightly lit with excitement. Behind her walks in the most beautiful man I have ever seen. I know that beautiful isn’t supposed to be how you describe a man, but there is no other word for him—none of them do him justice. If I thought his wolf was impressive, his human form is awe-inspiring.
Towering well over her, I’d guess he’s probably six and a half feet tall. His light hair is shaved close to his head and his snug T-shirt and formfitting jeans show off his muscular frame. Much like his wolf, his presence fills the room; he is distinguished, majestic, and downright breathtaking. His crystal-blue eyes capture mine and I am frozen in place.
“Ryker, this is Lelah,” Savannah says as she crawls into the bed next to me. She grabs my hand and squeezes it for support, I think, and continues talking. “Lelah, as I’m sure you’ve figured out, Ry is our alpha. He and I have been mates for nearly fifteen years now; we grew up together and have a bond like very few others.”
The entire time she’s talking I’m still lost in his eyes. I don’t know what it is about him; I hate males . . . despise them, actually. Maybe I feel more at ease because he’s a shifter. I haven’t been around another wolf in over a decade, so maybe subconsciously I recognize I’m one of his kind and intrinsically trust him. I need to be around other wolves to see if I have the same reaction.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lelah,” Ryker says. “I’m so glad that Savannah found you yesterday and that we were able to help you. I’m extremely curious about your story, little one, and as my mate has indicated to you, we are happy to adopt you into the pack if you are interested in staying.” He smiles at me and my belly flutters.
Forcing myself to tear my gaze from his, I look over at Savannah, who is still beaming while she lightly runs her fingertips up and down my arm. Her touch is so comforting and soothing, and I say a little prayer thanking God for sending her into the church.
Inhaling a deep breath, I look back at him, and then her. “Thank you both so much for everything you’ve done in this short amount of time. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for you taking the risk to rescue me.”
Ryker’s deep laugh interrupts me and he shakes his head. “There was no risk, sweet girl. Even if there had been tenfold the number of humans in that church, they would’ve had no chance to defeat us. You were coming with us no matter what; and after seeing what that priest was about to do to you, I wasn’t leaving there without not only killing him, but making sure he knew what true pain was before he met his maker. Now go on, I apologize for interrupting.”
Over the next hour, I told them my entire story. I began with telling them about my family and my pack, and how much fun I had growing up with my brother and best friend. I tell them about the day everything and everyone I knew was taken from me, and about my hope that Olivia was still alive somewhere.
I explain in detail to them about my life as a prisoner, about how the Man would do unthinkable acts to my young body and then parade me around in front of his friends for them all to see. And finally, I tell them about his death and my relocation to the church. I tell them everything I know about Father Luke’s plan to breed me, and about the other men who join him for frequent special meetings.
I am prou
d of myself because I do not shed a single tear throughout the entire story. I refuse to give those animals one more ounce of me; they are now in my past.
When I finish, I look up at both Savannah and Ryker. Her cheeks are wet from crying, obviously moved or disgusted by my story, or quite possibly a little of both. His face is unreadable; his jaw is tightly clenched and the light eyes I had just looked into are now a cloudy gray. I’m afraid he’s mad at me for some reason.
“I’m sorry, sir, to have upset you,” I say to him.
Ryker’s face relaxes and his eyes flash with a mixture of pity and compassion. He scoops me into his arms and squeezes me tightly against his broad chest.
“Don’t you ever apologize for that again, little one, and you don’t need to call me sir. It’s a tragedy what you’ve been put through in your young life, and it sickens me that you have been treated in that manner.” I feel Savannah on the other side of me now, joining the embrace. “I’ll do everything in my power to find out what is going on and put an end to it. I can only hope there aren’t many more like yourself out there.”
Savannah’s voice cuts in, whispering in my ear. “There’s nothing we can do to right your past, Lelah, but we will make sure that your future is bright and you’re surrounded by love.” She kisses the side of my head and presses her body tighter against me.
I am sandwiched between the two of them, surrounded by their warmth and kindness, and for the first time in way too long, I feel safe.
• • •
The first month with my new pack was nothing short of amazing. Everyone was overly welcoming and friendly, and they went out of their way to make me feel at home. Savannah didn’t leave my side; she introduced me to everyone and showed me where everything was.
As she told me, there were a little more than twenty shifters in the compound, and surprisingly, everyone was really young. There were two families who had small pups, and several mated wolves, but there were also a lot of singles. I got the impression that Ryker and Savannah began this pack as a place for strays to have a home, but I haven’t asked for the full story yet.
The day after my arrival, when I was first being introduced, the first thing I noted was that despite the fact I didn’t feel threatened by the other males, they definitely didn’t have the same effect on me that Ryker does. I felt guilty for having that reaction, knowing that he belonged to her and that she was the sole reason that I was now free. I tried telling myself that it was natural to feel that way around the alpha, that it wasn’t so much an attraction, but an intrinsic sense of respect and admiration.
Yeah, that’s it.
Savannah and I have become extremely close while I’ve been living with them over the past several weeks. She is tenderhearted and thoughtful, not only toward me, but all of the wolves in the pack. Nearly every day someone stops by, needing help with something or just looking for someone to talk to, and she’s always available. It’s easy to see why both she and Ryker are respected and cherished by the others; they always have the best interest of the pack in mind.
Watching them together is almost sickening. Even though he is alpha, and there’s no doubt about that, they share these moments of tenderness and affection when they think no one is watching that would make any girl swoon. I am so blessed to be a part of this family, and I don’t allow a day to pass without thanking God for delivering me to this place. I only hope that Livi is living a life of happiness as well—I really miss her.
Today, it’s mainly females at the complex as the males have gone to the city to “look after some things.” I overheard Savannah and Ryker whispering about the church earlier this morning, but I’m not sure if the trip has anything to do with it or not. I don’t ask any questions; I’m just appreciative that I’m here.
The one thing I’ve been apprehensive about since I’ve gotten here is shifting into my wolf. I’ve stayed in human form the entire time. I’m not sure why I don’t feel comfortable with it, but it definitely makes me nervous. Don’t get me wrong, I’m dying to let my wolf loose, to let her run free, and to experience this without running for my life; there’s just something holding me back. No one has mentioned it to me; that is, until now.
I’m eating lunch at the kitchen table in Ryker and Savannah’s home, where I’m still living in the guest bedroom, when I hear her bound down the stairs.
“Hey, little one, can I ask you a question?” She sits down, her smile causing a warmth to spread through me.
I smile back. “Sure, anything.”
“Why do you stay human? Not once since you’ve been here have you joined us out in the forest.”
I shrug because I really don’t know why and sit silent for a moment. “I don’t know. I guess I’m nervous since I’ve only shifted once before and that was years ago. I don’t know what to expect . . . how I’ll feel . . . what I’ll look like.”
She nods thoughtfully as I take the last bite of my sandwich. “Well, today it’s happening. I’ll take you, just you and me, and I’ll be there if you need me. I know it’s gonna take you a while to figure out who you are, Lala, but it’s important that you become comfortable in both your skin and your fur.” She scoots the chair back and stands up. “Now, come on, while the boys are gone. Let’s go play.”
Hearing her call me Lala yet again reminds me of Livi; she was the only person who ever called me that, and Savannah has begun using it more frequently than my full name.
After I put away my plate and cup, she grabs my hand and pulls me out the front door. She’s grinning like a small child on Christmas morning, and as soon as we are outside, she takes off in a run, changing into her wolf about four strides into her sprint. She continues her quick pace until she gets to the tree line, where she stops and waits for me. Just as I approach her, she gives me a nod of the head and takes off again.
I know what she wants me to do. I know what I need to do. So I take off running.
I’m not sure when it happened or how it happened, but before I know it, I am racing along on all fours, moving faster than I ever thought possible. I feel the wind coursing through my fur and hear the crunch of the leaves beneath my paws; I’m in love.
I slow as I reach a clearing, where the view is nothing short of poetic. The grass sways lightly in the breeze, and the sea of green is sprinkled with purple and yellow flowers. Sunlight reflects off the small pond near where Savannah is lying, watching me with a grin on her wolfy face.
My heart fills with pure joy and much like a little kid, I begin rolling in the grass and flowers. The fragrant scent fills my nostrils as the grass tickles my back. I stand up and pounce on nothingness, just to do it, and then roll around some more. She laughs at me, and I can’t help but join her. I know I look silly, but I don’t care. I jump up on all fours and gallop over to her.
“Oh my God, Van, I’ve never felt so . . . so . . .” I try to think of a word that’s even more freeing than free, but I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the pond and am stunned silent.
Slowly, I inch closer to the water’s edge until I’m staring at myself as a wolf for the first time in my life. I’m not sure what I expected, but whatever it was, it wasn’t this. My coat is solid white; I look like a big cotton ball, and my usually olive-colored eyes are now glowing an electric green. Hesitant to believe that’s really me, I reach out and tap the water, causing a ripple of waves to skim across the top. Once the rings settle, the same reflection still stares back at me, but this time Savannah’s image is standing next to mine.
“You’re undoubtedly the most transcendent thing I’ve ever seen, little one,” she says softly.
Embarrassed, I don’t know how to respond except with a simple, “Thank you.”
Savannah steps closer to me and rubs her face in my neck, humming in a low voice, running her nose along the underside of my chin. The movement is so simple, but packs so much meaning. I’ve never felt the sensation of touch, wolf to wolf, and I’m elated my first experience is with her. I had always hoped and dreamed
it would be Livi I shared this moment with, but standing here right now, as her damp charcoal nose presses into my fur, I know it was meant to be Savannah. I don’t even bother to question it; I just know.
We linger there for a few more intimate minutes before she breaks the silence. “We should probably get back, little one. It’s getting late, so Ry and the boys will be home soon.”
I nod begrudgingly, wishing we could stay there forever but knowing she is right. Before she breaks the contact, she nips at my neck playfully and then takes off running back toward the homes. “Race ya!” she calls out over her shoulder.
Half laughing and half growling, I chase after her as fast as I can, but I have no chance of catching her. She’s waiting for me at the edge of the forest, and again I’m overwhelmed with her considerate nature. I’m going to have to walk through camp in wolf form for the first time and I’m very self-conscious about it, especially now that I know I look different from everyone else. I give her an appreciative nudge as I approach, and we then make our way back to the house, drawing inquisitive attention from everyone in sight.
Once we are inside, she immediately shifts back into her human form and stands completely unclothed in front of me. Surprisingly, it doesn’t make me uncomfortable. I’m internally debating if I should shift back here in the living room as well or wait until I get up to my room.
As if she can hear my thoughts, Savannah bends down so she’s eye level with me and pets my head. She grins and whispers, “I always knock shit over with my tail. Apparently, I like to sway my wolfy hips a little too much.” Then she leans forward and kisses the bridge of my nose. “Whatever makes you comfy, love. I forget that you’ve only been here a week or so. Sometimes it feels like you’ve always been here . . . or should’ve been . . .”
Her voice trails off and she stands up, although she’s still looking down at me with a thoughtful smile. Without thinking twice, I return to my petite human form and here we stand, naked as the day we were born, staring at each other. Other than with my momma, I’ve never been nude in front of another female. I expect to feel shy or embarrassed, but I don’t. The emotion I’m experiencing is another first for me, and I’m not quite sure what it is. My belly does several flip-flops before a warm tingle begins to travel through my body. I haven’t pulled my eyes from her jade gaze, but I have an inexplicable desire to touch her body. Every inch of it.
Moments In Time: A Collection of Short Fiction Page 54