by Lynn Hagen
“On a scale of one to ten, how pissed are you at me?” Scott asked from somewhere behind the couch.
“Twenty.”
“Ouch.” He rounded the sofa and moved Baxter’s legs, setting them on his thighs when he sat down. “I screwed up with the word fragile. I know. But that’s not how I look at you.”
Baxter wasn’t gonna let Scott charm him. “Could’ve fooled me.”
“Really?” Scott started to massage Baxter’s calves, and Baxter wanted to tell Scott to get his hands off him, but he refrained from telling the guy to fuck off. “I see a guy who has had some bad shit thrown at him, and you might’ve stumbled for a while, but you keep going. You’re the strongest guy I know, Bax. I just didn’t want to take advantage of you while you’re trying to work all this out.”
“Don’t you think that’s something I should decide?” Baxter asked. “I know when I’m ready and when I’m not. I’m not saying I’m out of the woods yet, but I’m trying my best to get on with my life, trying to make things as normal as possible, and you treating me like I’m gonna break any second isn’t helping.”
Scott sighed. “You’re right, and I’m sorry.”
Baxter leaned up onto his elbow and glared at Scott. “I’m not your father.”
“I never said you were.”
“Then stop acting like I’m gonna run off and overdose at any second. I think I’m handling this pretty well. Sure, I have moments when I want to use, but I work through them.”
Scott frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“So you can suffocate me with your hovering?” Baxter pulled his legs from Scott’s lap and sat up. “I don’t need that. What I need is a friend. Someone who knows when to back down, especially if I’ve been doing pretty good. And if I tell you I’m doing bad, well, just be there.”
Scott scrubbed a hand over his blond hair. “I feel like I’m walking a fine line. I can’t help but compare what I went through with my father with what you’re going through. No, it’s not as bad, but…” He shrugged.
Baxter placed a hand on Scott’s arm. Damn, he really did have impressive biceps. “I want to be with you, Scott. Sexually. I’m not fragile. I’m not gonna break, and I’m not gonna relapse. I promise. If anything, I think getting closer to you will help me, make me even stronger.”
“Really?” Scott didn’t look convinced.
“There’s only one way to find out.” Baxter crawled onto his lap and straddled his waist. “I’ve been dying to kiss you.”
Scott grinned as his hands landed on Baxter’s hips. “I’ve had some pretty wicked thoughts about your lips.”
“About how wide I can open my mouth?” Baxter chuckled, and so did Scott.
“You were killing me with that marshmallow. Do you know how much I wanted to lick it from the side of your mouth?”
“Then lick it,” Baxter groaned. He slid his arms around Scott’s neck. Their faces were inches apart. Baxter could feel Scott’s breath on his lips, but they were too busy staring at each other.
“I just might,” Scott said in a deep, growly tone.
When their lips finally met, those sparks turned into fireworks. It was as if Baxter could actually hear the rockets firing off as their tongues dueled, entwined, and they tasted each other for the very first time.
Baxter wanted to give Scott everything, the trust and care Scott placed in Baxter when he’d brought him home. He wanted to give Scott his body but also his heart and soul. If Baxter left tomorrow, he would never find anyone like Scott. Ever. Baxter would never find someone who cared this much for him, and he wasn’t willing to walk away from it.
When their lips broke apart, Baxter asked, “What does being a mate mean?”
One of Scott’s hands had drifted to Baxter’s lower back, almost like he was keeping Baxter in place. The other carded through Baxter’s hair, which was in bad need of a cut. It had gotten too long, but Baxter liked the fact that Scott could grab a handful.
“You and me, that’s it. No one else, ever. Our souls bound together. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, Bax. Your health and happiness mean everything to me.”
Baxter was blown away by the words Scott had spoken as if they were some kind of law.
“You’ll age as slowly as I do, and human ailments will no longer be an issue.”
Baxter liked the perks already. “Then make me yours.”
Their mouths collided again, Scott’s fingers strangling Baxter’s hair. Underneath his ass, Baxter felt Scott getting hard. He ground against the steel pipe, moaning into the kiss.
But he could tell Scott was holding back. Baxter couldn’t have that. He pushed against Scott’s chest and got up. When Scott started to stand, Baxter shook a finger. “Stay right there.”
With a curious look in his eyes, Scott did as Baxter demanded. Having sex with a new person was intimidating. Concerns filtered into Baxter’s mind. Would Scott appreciate his body or think him too thin? Would he like Baxter’s cock, or wouldn’t it compare to his mate’s?
The way Scott looked at him with hunger squelched Baxter’s worries. Scott didn’t seem the type to be hung up on appearances. Not the way his gaze scorched Baxter’s blood.
Baxter gasped when he dropped the last piece of clothing and Scott sat up, taking Baxter’s hips and then swallowing his cock.
“Oh shit!” Baxter tossed his head back, moaning as Scott worked his shaft down his throat. The darkness inside Baxter seemed to shatter with that single move. He bucked and wiggled, grabbing Scott’s shoulders as he fucked the man’s mouth.
His legs wobbled as Scott took him deeper, using his throat muscles to bring Baxter off. He was shocked at how quickly he’d come. No other man had given Baxter such a quick trigger, but Scott had, and Baxter was crying out as he came down Scott’s throat.
He curled his fingers into Scott’s shoulders and tried not to slump over. His knees had grown even weaker, and finally Baxter couldn’t hold out any longer.
Scott pulled him down and turned Baxter, laying him on the couch. “Fuck, that was beautiful.”
“And fast.” Baxter frowned. “Sorry about that.”
Scott’s breath mingled with his. “You tasted amazing.”
Baxter had just orgasmed, and yet, there was an unfathomable physical ache in his body to have more. It was an ache that went bone-deep, so deep that it was driving him crazy.
Desperate need rippled through him. He yanked at Scott’s shirt, his pants, frantic to get to Scott’s naked skin. Baxter wanted to touch every inch of his body.
Scott gripped his wrists. “Slow down, sunshine. There’s no rush.”
Baxter panted heavily, groaning and grinding his cock against Scott. Already he was hard again. He arched his back and spread his legs, offering himself to Scott.
His heart raced faster when Scott touched him everywhere, driving Baxter insane. His mate was drawing this out, arousal in his eyes as if he were enjoying torturing Baxter.
“I love you.” Baxter’s own voice was a fierce whisper as he touched Scott’s cheek, the strength of Scott’s jaw soaking into his fingertips. He wanted to say more, to explain the reasons why Scott had taken up residency in his heart, but Baxter refrained from getting too wordy.
Scott turned his face into Baxter’s palm and kissed it. “I love you, too, Bax.”
The sincerity in his words made Baxter’s breath stick in this throat. Tears stung his eyes. He finally had someone solid in his corner, someone to love him, and someone he could love just as fiercely. Baxter would never be alone again.
Scott got up and lifted Baxter from the couch, carrying him down the hallway. Baxter chuckled, circling his arms around Scott’s neck. He no longer felt silly being carried. Baxter never wanted to leave the protection of Scott’s arms again.
Scott placed Baxter on his bed and undressed before crawling in next to him. Scott grabbed the lube from his nightstand drawer and set it aside.
Their limbs tangled as they kissed again, slowl
y this time, his strong lion making him breathless. Baxter thought the kissing would go on all night, but a lubed finger slid into his ass.
“Oh, god,” he groaned against Scott’s lips. He spread his legs apart, his arms still curled around Scott’s shoulders. “Feels so good.”
Scott kissed him until Baxter couldn’t breathe as he added another finger, filling Baxter, making him dizzy.
“You gonna belong to me?” Scott drove his fingers deep, widening them, grazing Baxter’s prostate. “Be all mine?”
“Yes,” Baxter hissed.
He needed relief from the whirlpool of fire burning through his body. Baxter’s heart was pounding, and his pulse was racing. He needed more than just Scott’s fingers.
“Ready,” Baxter whimpered. “So damn ready.”
His mind was spinning as Scott thoroughly kissed him. By morning Baxter was gonna have chapped lips, but he didn’t care. Scott’s mouth devoured his, hungrily, passionately.
And then he purred. Baxter gasped in surprise. The sound was husky and sexy, and Baxter wanted to hear it again. How had he forgotten Scott was a lion shifter? Was his brain that fogged? He’d completely lost himself in Scott, his touches and kisses, and everything else must’ve fallen to the wayside.
But now Baxter was turned on something fierce. “Do it again.”
Scott smiled against Baxter’s mouth. “You liked that?”
“Hell yes.”
Scott purred again, making Baxter moan. “I take it your cat is enjoying himself?”
“Tremendously.” Scott pulled his fingers free, uncurled Baxter’s arms from around his neck, and leaned back. Baxter watched in fascination as Scott lubed his thick, hard cock. He was tempted to taste his mate, but Baxter was too damn desperate to feel Scott inside him.
Scott leaned forward, bracing one hand on either side of Baxter’s head. His mate stared into his eyes then kissed his nose. “Love you.”
“Love you, too.” Baxter felt giddy saying those words. He meant them from the bottom of his heart to the bottom of his toes, too.
Scott braced himself on one arm and grabbed his cock, guiding the head to Baxter’s ass. Baxter spread his legs and groaned when the head pressed against his entrance.
With one hard lunge, Scott filled Baxter up and made him cry out. Instinctively Baxter curled his legs around his mate’s lean waist, crossing his ankles as he pulled Scott down to him.
Scott was chuckling into the kiss as if Baxter’s grabbiness thrilled him. His lunges were fast and deep, stretching Baxter’s ass wide. Baxter was lost, completely lost in Scott, his savior, his wild beast, his everything.
“You making fun of how needy I am?” Baxter shoved at Scott’s chest.
“Yes, and I love that you want me so much.” Scott nipped his chin then kissed the sting. “Be as needy as you want, baby.”
Baxter met Scott’s thrusts with his own, clawing at his mate’s back, eating at his mouth. All too soon he felt his climax cresting.
“Scott.”
“I have you, sweetheart.”
Scott’s idea of “having him” was sinking his sharp teeth into Baxter’s shoulder. The move was so unexpected that Baxter shouted, trying to pull away. But seconds later he was flying higher, his orgasm intensified.
Baxter felt a strong ripple rush through him. His heart quickened then slowed. Something inside him snapped into place, like a rubber hand being twanged. A vibration unlike anything Baxter had ever felt before.
Scott eased his sharp teeth from Baxter’s shoulder, licked the wound, and threw his head back, roaring his release.
Baxter’s legs fell to the sides. His breaths were fast and uneven, and sweat glistened over his skin. He was spent. Two orgasms in one night had completely wiped him out.
Scott gathered Baxter into his arms. He kissed his neck, his jaw, and his lips. If Scott was thinking about going for a third round, he had another think coming.
“Mine,” Scott said in a possessive growl.
If Baxter hadn’t been so tired, he would’ve replied. Instead, he yawned and curled into his mate, closing his eyes.
Chapter Eight
The following morning they were at Baxter’s apartment cleaning it out. Scott had asked Baxter to move in with him, and Baxter had agreed. After all, they were starting a life together. There was no sense keeping his apartment.
“I’ll grab some more boxes,” Scott said. “Go into your bedroom and decide what you want to keep and what will be donated.”
Scott slid his arm around Baxter, and Baxter tilted his head for the all-consuming kiss. It had been that way since they’d made love last night. Scott couldn’t seem to keep his hands or lips off him.
“Don’t be long,” Baxter said breathlessly as Scott walked out of the apartment to grab more boxes from the back of his truck.
Feeling as if he were walking on a cloud, Baxter went to his bedroom. God, the room smelled rank. The last time he’d been there he’d been high out of his mind. There were dirty clothes scattered everywhere, and somehow the items that had been on top of his dresser were now scattered all over the floor.
Baxter grimaced. He was normally a very neat person. He went to the kitchen and grabbed some trash bags. Most of the stuff would be heading for the dumpster out back. There wasn’t anything in his room worth donating, except his clothes, which he planned on taking with him.
He was halfway through filling the first trash bag when he heard Scott entering the apartment.
“I’ll clear the dishes from the kitchen,” Scott hollered.
“Okay,” Baxter hollered back. He wanted to leave the place spotless because it was the right thing to do. He wouldn’t get his deposit back. Not when rent was due in three days. The landlord had said he would use the deposit for what Baxter owed, and Baxter thought that was fair.
Although he could’ve used that money.
Baxter grabbed a handful of clothes and tossed them into a pile by the door. Something fell out of a pair of dirty jeans. He froze at the sight of the tinfoil. Baxter’s heart beat faster, and his chest began to ache. He licked his dry lips as his stomach cramped.
He had no doubt what was inside the foil. Baxter let go of the trash bag. He crawled closer to the clothes pile. Scott had told him that when the sheriff had gathered some of his clothes, he’d disposed of any drugs or paraphernalia. Cleary Sheriff Copache had missed this.
Baxter’s stomach cramped harder as he reached for the foil, and then he snatched his hand back.
Fight it. Call for Scott. Leave the room. Distance yourself. Don’t pick it up.
Baxter looked toward the door. He still heard Scott in the kitchen. He could stash the foil in his pocket and…don’t!
Sweat gathered over his body. Baxter’s hands shook as he scooted back. He sat on his butt and curled his arms around his bent legs, fighting against the demons that encouraged him to take the foil back to Scott’s.
Baxter slammed his eyes closed and started to rock back and forth. You’ve been clean for a month. The craving is all in your mind. You don’t need to get high anymore. You have Scott.
Too bad mating Scott hadn’t taken away the craving. It clawed at his insides, tempting him, calling out to him. The oblivion. The escape. That first fucking high he’d been chasing.
“Scott!” Baxter rocked faster. “Scott!”
Footsteps thundered closer. “I’m here, what is it?”
Baxter cracked his eyes open and, with a shaky hand, pointed to the temptation. “I’m not doing so good.”
Scott grabbed the foil and disappeared. Baxter heard the toilet flush, and then Scott was back. He pulled Baxter off the floor and cradled him in his arms. His mate didn’t say a word. He didn’t hover or suffocate Baxter. He just held him.
“I need to get out of here.” Baxter buried his face in Scott’s chest as Scott walked out of the apartment. He started toward the truck, but Baxter shook his head. “Put me down.”
Scott didn’t question Baxter’s request. H
e placed him on his feet.
“I just need some fresh air. I don’t want to leave. We need to get this done.”
“We can do this another time.” Scott pressed his palms against Baxter’s cheeks and gave him a soft kiss. “It doesn’t have to be today. I can pay next month’s rent so we’ll have more time.”
“No.” Baxter squeezed his eyes shut, took a deep breath, and then opened them. “Just let me work through this.”
They sat on Scott’s lowered tailgate for what felt like forever. Baxter kept breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth as Scott talked about anything and everything.
“So there I was surrounded by pissed-off wolf shifters, and the only way out was to fight all three of them.”
Baxter grinned, feeling better by the second. “So what did you do?”
Scott chuckled. “I got my ass kicked.”
“But you were just a kid.” Baxter’s grin widened. “What did your grandfather do?”
“He said that next time I’d think twice about trying to prove myself.” Scott’s eyes shined with humor. “Just so you know, lions can be damned prideful. I thought I could take them on. I was a lion, after all. Pfft. Who could beat me? Right?” He chuckled again. “Wrong. After that day, I chose my battles more wisely.”
“I think that was a good decision.” Baxter sighed. “We can go back in now.”
“I know you don’t like hovering, but I have to ask. Are you sure?”
Baxter nodded. “I’m sure.”
They’d gotten most of the apartment packed up and cleaned by the time the sun had started to sink. Baxter felt accomplished and grateful for Scott. He wouldn’t have gotten through this without his lion firefighter. There was no telling where he would’ve been today if Mr. Nosy hadn’t intervened. Probably homeless or dead.
“Celebration dinner?” Scott patted his six-pack. “I’m starving after all this hard work.”
They looked at each other when they heard a scuffle out in the hallway. Scott held up his hand. “Stay right here.”