by N. P. Martin
I went and lay on my unmade bed, my eyes flitting over the drawings and paintings on the walls—the fantastical landscapes, the warrior women with swords, the strange made up creatures. Fantasy art was my thing, my escape. I had a talent for creating it, but I never really took it seriously until Diane encouraged me to. My old high school art teacher, Mr. Sanders, kind of took me under his wing as well, providing me with art supplies, making sure I had enough of a portfolio so I could apply to art college. I was looking forward to going, as long as I got in. As long as I got a handle on the whole demon thing. If experiences like the one that happened with the demon on the street outside kept happening, that wouldn’t be anytime soon.
I still hadn’t told Josh anything about the demons. Neither did I want too. Josh wasn’t actually at home the night the demon took my mother and killed my father. He was on his first ever sleepover at a friend’s house so he saw nothing of what I experienced. Neither could he quite believe anything I tried to tell him about the circumstances surrounding that night. He saw all the occult stuff as my way of coping, I suppose. He believed the official police story that my father had been murdered, possibly by our mother, possibly not. That part was still inconclusive. The cops could never figure out if my mother ran away or was taken.
I knew the truth, but no one wanted to listen to a grieving seven-year-old girl.
So I learned to keep what I knew to myself.
After years of anguished obsession, I put it all aside, finally accepting that my parents were gone and there was nothing I could do about it.
Until I saw the monsters, demons from what I could gather. What was I supposed to make of that? Was I supposed to ignore the fact that I was seeing inhuman faces everywhere I went? How could I? I knew in my bones there was a connection between that and my parent’s demise. I just wasn’t sure what it was yet.
I pulled a sketch book from under my bed. It was filled with drawings of the monster faces I had seen over the past few months. I flicked through the sketch book, glancing over faces with glowing eyes, strange protruding bone structures and horns jutting out from skulls and other weird places. One sketch showed a man—a priest if I remember correctly—with three horns sticking out of his chin, the outside two curved like elephant tusks. Another sketch was of a woman, beautiful as I remember, until her face transformed into something that resembled a rat, complete with two long incisors that reached past her chin. Yet another sketch showed the scariest face I’d seen yet. It was a child, no older than seven or eight, who I saw in a school playground one day. The little boy saw me and smiled, his face transforming before my eyes into something horrible that had snake-like creatures writhing from his cheeks and a bigger snake with two heads that slithered out of his forehead and wrapped itself around his skull. It took me days to get over that one.
All of them reminded me of the monster that took my mother.
To put it mildly, my life resembled a horror movie.
I slid the sketch book back under the bed away from Diane’s prying eyes. I was to meet my best friend Kasey in an hour. She had agreed to ride along with me to visit my childhood home, despite saying I was crazy for wanting to go there and dig up the past again.
I changed out of the slacks and blouse I wore for the apartment viewing and pulled on an old pair of jeans and a sweater along with a well-worn green army coat. I was a functional dresser. The word stylish was rarely a part of my vocabulary, except maybe when I went on dates, which wasn’t often, and even then I rarely glammed myself up. The boys didn’t mind, as long as they got what they wanted at the end of the night. I know how that sounds, but I didn’t go in for relationships. Fuck that noise. Casual sex was enough for me.
Downstairs, Josh and Diane were at the kitchen table eating pasta so I joined them. “I’m going to miss your cooking,” I said to Diane, who had an air of melancholy about her thanks to Josh informing her we’d be moving out.
“You can come here anytime you want for a good meal,” Diane said, a fawning smile on her face. “In fact, I expect you to come back often.”
“We will,” Josh said. “I’ll make sure of it, don’t worry.”
“Of course we will,” I said, nodding before looking at Josh. “I need to borrow your car.”
“Why?”
“I told Kasey I’d take her for a drive.”
“I’m not sure I want her stinking up my car.” He shoveled pasta into his mouth like he hadn’t eaten in days. “She doesn’t wash.”
“She lives on the streets. Stop being a shithead and give her a break.”
“You don’t even have a license.”
“So?”
“So what if you get pulled over?”
“I won’t.” I held out my hand. “Keys.”
“Leia, honey,” Diane said. “I know you’re not dumb, so why would you drive without a liscense? What if something happens and you get into an accident?”
“Yeah, Leia,” Josh said. “Why would you be so dumb?” There was a glint in his eye when he said that.
I made a face at him to silence him. “You don’t have to worry, Diane. I won’t be gone long. Besides, I’m a good driver. I’ll be fine.” I held my hand out to Josh while I ignored Diane’s disapproving look. “Keys please.”
Josh shook his head and threw the car keys on to the table. “Don’t mess up my ride,” he warned.
“Or what?” I stood up having hardly eaten any of Diane’s pasta. I can’t eat when I’ve got stuff on my mind. “You know I can kick your ass.”
He shook his head again. “Just be careful. And I need it back by seven, I’m going out later.”
“I’ll be back by then.”
“You’ve hardly eaten anything,” Diane said.
“Save it for me. I’ll finish it later.” That was a lie and Diane knew it. She nodded anyway.
“Tell Kasey I said hello. And please be careful driving.”
“I will,” I said, heading out of the house. “Later.”
Chapter 2
Kasey was waiting for me on the corner of Green Street, outside the derelict building that she called home most nights. She was wearing her usual black leather jacket with dark hoody underneath, black jeans and black boots that had seen better days. Kasey herself looked like she had seen better days, but then not having a real place to live would do that to a person. I didn’t know how she did it. As much as I hated some of the foster homes I stayed in over the years, I could never quite bring myself to do what Kasey did, just bail and go live rough on the streets. Kasey’s situation had been worse than any I’d ever been in though.
“Hey, girl,” Kasey said as she bounced into the car. “Nice ride. Can’t believe Josh actually let you take it. Awesome.” She smiled at me with slightly yellowed teeth. Kasey looked younger than eighteen. Her raven black hair was close cropped except for a long piece of fringe that hung limply down one side of her forehead. Nose and eyebrow piercings added to the effect, making her look every inch the orphan street kid.
“Hey, Kase,” I said. I drove out into the rush hour traffic, glad Kasey was accompanying me on my dubious expedition into the past.
She was checking out the car and nodding. “This is awesome. I could live in this car.”
“I don’t think my brother would appreciate that.”
“What are you trying to say, Princess? Huh?”
She was all fake attitude as she smirked at me. She liked to call me ‘Princess’ sometimes, after Princess Leia from Star Wars. As a fan of the movie, I let her get away with it. “Nothing—just that Josh loves this car more than life itself.”
“That’s sad, man, loving a car like that. It’s just a car.”
“You said it was awesome a minute ago.”
“It is, but it’s still just a car.” She turned her attention to the CD player. “What’s Josh got in here?” When she switched the CD player on, loud metal music came blasting out of the speakers—Pantera. “Alright!” Kasey banged the dash in time with “By Demon’s Be
Driven”.
I was more of an old school rock fan myself, but I didn’t mind the metal. It kind of took my mind off where we were going. I wasn’t sure how to feel about revisiting the old house. There was dread in my stomach at the prospect, which is partly why I asked Kasey to come along. “We got the apartment,” I told her excitedly. “We’re moving this weekend.”
“Holy shit that’s awesome, Princess. No more foster homes, huh? Free at last.”
“Yep, just me and Josh.”
She seemed slightly miffed by the news, like I was moving forward, leaving her behind. I knew that’s what she was thinking. It’s what I would have thought if I were her. “I get to stay right?”
“Anytime.”
Just not all the time.
As much as I loved her, I still needed space. Josh wouldn’t put up with her all the time either.
“What about Josh? I’m not exactly his favorite person. He thinks I’m a skanky street kid that needs a good wash.”
I had to refrain from smiling when she said that. “Josh doesn’t think that all.” We both knew I was lying, but she went along with it anyway. “Let me worry about him.” I slowed to let a middle aged woman cross the road. Half way across she looked in our direction. Her pretty face flickered and her features morphed into something disgustingly toad-like. Her eyes went beetle black. I casually looked out the side window until she passed before driving off again.
“Holy shit, I almost forgot,” Kasey exclaimed suddenly.
“What?” I asked, still mildly freaked by the woman/demon I just saw.
“I was chillin’ in my room last night, smokin’ some heavy weed, man—awesome shit by the way—remind me to get you some.” I nodded. Normally I got my weed from Josh, him being a dealer and all. Kasey sometimes managed to get good stuff though. “Anyway, I’m lying there, stoned to the bone, when I hear these screams.”
“Screams?”
“Yeah, like seriously fucking loud screams, man.”
“Okay. You’re sure it wasn’t the weed?”
“What? No! I know what I heard—screams, coming from the basement.”
“The basement? That’s not creepy or anything.”
“I shit myself. I just sat up and was like—what the fuck! I was seriously freaked, I tell you. You know what that place is like at night.”
I nodded, knowing all too well. “Creepy as hell.”
“Right, with all the noises and everything, and with just me being in there…” She trailed off like she had freaked herself out and she shuddered. “Anyway, it sounded like someone was being tortured. It was fucking awful, man. Scared the shit out of me.”
“You didn’t go and investigate?” I had a half smile on my face. I knew the question would get a rise out of her and it did.
“Are you kidding me?” She shook her head as I laughed. “I wasn’t going anywhere. I pulled the blanket over me and hid there the rest of the night.”
“All joking aside, that’s still screwed up. Maybe you should find somewhere else to stay.” I was serious. I didn’t want her dead body turning up in that shithole one day.
“What for? No where’s safe.”
She had a point. Living on the streets kind of limited your options when it came to finding safe shelter. Maybe that’s why Mercy City had the highest rate of missing kids in the entire country. “We have to get you sorted with a proper apartment.”
“Yeah and how you gonna to do that?”
“There’s help you can get.” I knew she wasn’t going to like the next part. “Plus you would have to get a job somewhere.”
She snorted with derision. “Are you fucking kidding me? Who would employ me? What the hell would I do anyway, wait tables?”
“Might be a start.”
She shook her head emphatically. “Fuck that. You know how I feel about people. People are shit.” She smiled sweetly. “Except you, my dear.”
“Of course, dear,” I smiled back. “I’m just saying though, it’s an option.”
“We’ll see.” She stared out the window, her tone making it clear she didn’t want to talk anymore about it.
That wasn’t the first time we had that particular conversation about her future. I mentioned to her a few times about leaving the street life, but the truth was I didn’t think she would, not until she started believing she deserved better. And Kasey did deserve better. If anyone was a victim of circumstances it was Kasey.
“So tell me again why we’re going to your old house?” she asked.
We were on the bridge that would take us over the river to the west side of the city. For the first time I noticed there were small gargoyles on top of the light posts that ran intermittently along both sides of the bridge, the lights themselves placed on top of the gargoyles heads. Sometimes I wondered if the whole city hadn’t been built by demons, like Mercy City was just a tribute to Hell. “I just want to see,” I said. “I haven’t been back there since…we left.”
“Why though? Isn’t this going to be like, painful for you or whatever?”
I shrugged. “Probably, yeah. It’s just something I have to do though.” I told Kasey years ago about my past, back when we first met in high school. She maintained she believed me, but I didn’t think she did. I had come to realize that my account of what happened to my parents was too weird and disturbing for people to take seriously. When it first happened and I was a kid, I told everyone the same story and everyone without exception thought it was the ramblings of a traumatized little kid. After a while I learned not to say anything about what I saw because people thought I was nuts. That’s also why I told no one, not even Kasey, about the demon faces.
Pretty soon I had us driving through the residential area where my parents used to live. It hadn’t changed at all in eleven years. There were still the same rows of small wood paneled houses with patches of grass out front and the occasional tree that lined the sidewalk. It was weird seeing it all again. Fragments of long forgotten memories and feelings from childhood were already forming in the back of my mind, along with feelings I hadn’t felt in years.
“Sleepy place,” Kasey said. “You grew up here?”
“Yeah,” I said, having no problem finding the street I used to live on. I stopped the car by the first house in the row. “This is it.”
Kasey stared out the window at the house. “Doesn’t look like anyone has lived in it since.”
“No.” A sullen look marked my face as I stared at the house. It was, as Kasey said, not in great shape, certainly not the quaint little house I remembered. All the windows and doors were boarded up, most of the paint had flaked and fell off the wood, and the lawn out front was just a patch of weeds. It made me sad to see the house in such disrepair. Despite what happened I still had some happy memories living there.
“Hey, you okay?”
“I’m fine. Let’s go look inside.”
The ramshackle state of the house looked more vivid from outside the car, its dire state even more apparent. I looked down the street at the other houses, all them like new compared to the one we were standing in front of. I couldn’t help feeling slightly embarrassed, even though I didn’t live there anymore. I glanced at the house next door and wondered if Mr. and Mrs. Wheatley still lived there. Josh and I had stayed with them for a couple of days after our parents were killed. They were nice people and our parents got along well with them, often going to each others’ houses for barbecues and drinks. I noticed a curtain twitch in the living room but didn’t see anyone.
“How do we get in?” Kasey said. “Place is boarded up.”
“Round the back.” We walked up the side of the house, around to the small backyard that was choked with weeds. I remembered playing in that garden everyday. My father used to keep the lawn immaculate, as he did the rest of the house. The back door had a plywood board nailed over it.
“Should have brought a crowbar,” Kasey said pulling at the board. “It’s nailed shut.”
I looked at the board for
a second and then grabbed one side of it with both hands, getting a good grip on it before pulling hard. I was surprised when half the board came partially away with a loud creaking sound. Another good pull and the board went thudding to the ground.
“Holy shit!” Kasey said. “When the hell did you get so strong? You been juicing without telling me?”
“Diane feeds us lots of greens.” I was looking down at the wood that lay flat on the ground. I felt pretty awesome that I was able to rip the thing off just like that. It wasn’t even hard to do. I really was getting stronger, though I had no idea how or why.
“Yeah, right,” Kasey said. “Let’s see you get the door open then.”
The back door was locked and it had another plywood board in place of the glass that used to be in the window. I lifted my leg and aimed a kick just to the side of the door handle and the door flew open with a crack, the frame around it splintering.
Yep, I was definitely getting stronger.
“I say again, what have you been taking and where can I get some?”
“Come on,” I said, ignoring her. “Let’s go in.” My stomach felt funny as I stepped inside the gloom of my old house. I felt like turning and running back to the car, never to return. I doubted whether it was a good idea to have come. The inside was practically in darkness. I was scared for no reason. The oppressive gloom of the place was also slightly triggering my claustrophobia. The claustrophobia was something I had since I was a kid. It normally wasn’t that bad unless I found myself in small dark spaces, which thankfully was almost never. Somehow the mix of feelings swirling in me was triggering it. “We need a flashlight.” I quickly backtracked outside again. “There’s one in the trunk, I’ll go get it.” Before Kasey could even protest I was walking down the side of the house to the car, my heart thumping loudly in my chest.