by J. L. Beck
Tension fills the cab, making the air thick. All my attention needs to be on the game tomorrow, but all I can do is think about the feisty brunette sitting beside me. My phone goes off in the cup holder for the tenth time, and I reach for it, pressing the button on the side to silence it.
I contemplate rolling down the window and tossing it out altogether but decide against it. I don’t want to seem anymore unhinged than I already am. You would think if I didn’t answer the first nine times my father called me, he’d get the hint and would stop calling. Guess all the whiskey was finally going to his head.
“Are you going to answer that or…?” The last thing I want to do is discuss my asshole father with her. I need to direct my attention to something else.
“Do you ever wish you could be someone else?” I ask, easing my back against the seat, doing my best to look less like a mummy and more like a human. My muscles are strung tight, and my stomach is a knot of shame and anger. This was not how I wanted my first time alone with Blair outside the library to go.
“I mean, I’ve wished a few times in my life that I was more popular, or that I was prettier,” she whispers the last part. I look over at her and find her staring straight ahead. Obviously, she doesn’t realize how pretty she already is. As if sensing my eyes on her, she twists in the seat to face me. “But I get the feeling that’s not what you mean. You’re speaking deeper than that, like wanting to be your true self?”
Fuck. Her blue eyes meet mine, and my heart skips a heavy beat in my chest. In an instant, the world around us falls away. It’s like she’s seeing through me, peeling back my layers to see inside. It’s freaky and scary and epic all at once.
It makes me feel vulnerable and reckless, and it occurs to me then that it’s the first time I’ve ever been honest with someone outside of Murphy or Evan. The first time I’ve ever had a meaningful conversation with a girl.
“Is that what you meant?” Blair’s soft voice filters into my ears.
Shit! I never answered her.
“Yes,” I drawl, sucking in a ragged breath. With that breath comes Blair’s intoxicating scent, and I still can’t pinpoint what fruit she smells like. Raspberries or cherries? I wonder if I took a bite out of her if she’d taste as sweet as she smells.
“You don’t feel like your true self?” She shocks the hell out of me, tossing my tantalizing thoughts right out the window and shoving me into dark, murky waters.
Do I really want to go there with her? Sink deep into my fucked-up life and past. No, I don’t think so, and yet I want to tell her, pour my guts out to her like an overflowing kitchen skin. Split myself in two against the concrete and let her see all the splintering pieces. I long for someone to look at me and see me for more than the star linemen, the sex god, the guy who fucks chicks like it’s a competitive sport.
Sighing, I grip the wheel a little harder. “No, and I haven’t felt like myself for years. I’m not even sure what normal would look or feel like anymore.” The honesty in my voice makes me cringe, and I stare out the windshield, navigating the truck around a Prius that is going slower than molasses.
“Normal is overrated, just be yourself.” Thankfully, she doesn’t push the conversation further. I’m tempted to tell her it’s a lot easier said than done, but I don’t. I’m not even sure why the floodgates opened the way they just did. It’s like verbal vomit wouldn’t stop coming out of my mouth. Like a seeping wound, I just spilled my emotional baggage on her.
“We’re about fifteen minutes from the diner.”
“Already?” She pushes her glasses up her nose, and my eyes are drawn to her face, the soft, delicate features.
“Blackthorn is only a two-hour drive. It’s not long.”
“Yeah, I guess I never realized how close it is. Then again, distance doesn’t really matter when you don’t have a car to drive.”
“That fucking blows. I can’t imagine not having Betsy.”
“Betsy?” A tiny little smile tugs on her lips. “Is that what you call your truck?”
“Yup.” I grin. “Just ’cause she’s not a real person, don’t mean she can’t have a name. She’s important to me, so I’ve given her a name.”
Blair shakes her head, sending more of her sweet scent my way. I hold back a groan, sucking the fruity scent into my nostrils. It goes straight to my cock, causing the organ to press firmly against my zipper.
I need to get fucking laid.
“That’s cute, I mean, that you gave your car a name.”
“It’s okay, you can call me cute.”
Her soft gaze becomes a glare, and I can feel the icy daggers against my skin as I slow the truck and take the exit.
“Your ego is enormous if you think I was referring to you as cute.”
“My ego isn’t the only enormous thing.” I turn and wink at her.
Rolling her pretty eyes, she sighs and sinks back against the leather seat.
“You’re incorrigible.”
“You’re whip-smart, I don’t even know what that fucking word means.”
Another eye roll and we’re turning onto the main road that leads into town. “Looks like math isn’t the only thing you need help with. I’ll be sure to bring a dictionary to our next session.”
“Touché.”
Blair smiles again, her soft pink lips pull up at the sides, and I want to bottle up that look on her face and take a picture so I can stare at it later. Smiles with her are rare, and I want to make her smile always. Driving us into town, I see the sign for Pops ahead, and my stomach growls in anticipation. I can already taste the greasy cheeseburger, the sugary strawberry shake, and the salty hand-cut fries on my tongue.
“Was that your stomach?” Blair asks.
“Yes, I’m hungry as fuck.” I say, pulling into the parking lot of the tiny little diner.
“Do you know how not to swear? Every other word is a swear word with you.”
“Nope. Fuck, shit, ass, and several other words are my favorites.” I grin, put the truck in park, and kill the engine. “Ready, Nerd?”
“Call me a nerd again and see what happens.”
I’m tempted, so fucking tempted to see what wrath she’ll bring down on me, but I’m hungry, and I really don’t want to piss her off, at least not yet.
“Come on, let’s go inside. I get the feeling you’ll kill me if I say something else stupid, and I’d like to eat one last good meal before my impending death.”
“Fine, but I swear to God, Cage, quit calling me names,” she growls, and I chuckle beneath my breath as I climb out of the truck. She follows suit, and together we walk toward the entrance. It isn’t until now that I see our true size difference. Blair looks like Tinkerbell beside me, tiny, fragile, breakable.
Her head only reaches my pecs, making me almost a foot taller than her. My hand is the size of two of hers, and our size difference alone pushes an emotion I’ve never experienced before. The need to protect. To protect her from me and from other douchebags like me.
How can you do that with the bet hanging over your head, idiot?
The reminder of the bet makes me snap out of it, and I grab the door handle at the same time Blair does. Our fingers briefly touch, and a zing of energy rushes down my arm.
Blair pulls her hand away as if my touch is fire, “Sorry,” she mumbles. Would it be so bad if I touched her? I swallow the thought. Of course, it would be.
Bells above the door jingle as we enter. There is no hostess, Pops is old school. You pick a booth, and menus are already at the table. The decor is that of a total mom and pop place. I guide Blair to a table at the back, and she slides into the booth on one side while I take the other. There are only a few people in the place, mostly older people, which is surprising for a Friday night. Grabbing a menu, I hand it to Blair.
I don’t bother getting one for myself. I already know what I’m going to have. Blair’s eyes move over the menu with interest. She’s had it in her hands maybe five seconds before a waitress comes sauntering u
p to the table. The waitress is a middle-aged woman, with frown lines, and blonde hair that’s tied back in a tight bun at the nape of her neck. Her light grey eyes dart between Blair and me, disinterest filling them a second later.
“What can I get ya?” she asks the simplest question.
“You ready to order?” I direct my attention to Blair and ask while knowing her answer is most likely no.
Blair looks between the waitress and me before looking back with a shy smile on her face. “I will have whatever you’re having.”
I return her smile. She’s so trusting. Yes, I know it’s just food, but the fact that she let me drive her down here and agreed to go to some random diner with me says everything. I’m sure she doesn’t realize it, but she’s put a lot of fucking trust in me.
“Okay, so two strawberry shakes, and two orders of fries with ketchup, and one double cheeseburger and one regular cheeseburger.”
The waitress scribbles the order down on the paper and whirls around, leaving us alone once again.
“Don’t you have a rigorous diet as a football player? Shouldn’t you be eating fruits and vegetables, and I don’t know, not greasy cheeseburgers?”
“Worried about me?”
She wrinkles her nose. “Of course not. I don’t care what you eat.”
“Righhhhhht.” I draw out the h, tapping my fingers impatiently against the table. “Since you asked so nicely, I’ll fill you in. We’re allowed cheat meals. Most days, I eat a religious diet of chicken breasts, hearty greens, and protein shakes, but the night before games, I let myself go.”
She nods. “I’m sure it’s not the only thing you let yourself go on.”
Her comment makes me laugh. “Did you just make a joke?”
All I get is a shrug. “I mean, I guess, yeah. For some reason, when I’m around you, I come out of my shell.”
“Is that right?” I tap my chin with a finger. “If that’s true, tell me something personal, something no one knows about you.”
“Why, so you can use it against me later? No, thank you. I’m not into blackmail.”
Again, I laugh. “No, not blackmail, though, I do like how you think. You tell me something, and I’ll tell you something. Something no one else knows, something personal.”
Blair contemplates what I’ve said, chewing on her bottom lip as she thinks it through. She does that often, especially when she’s trying to make up her mind about something.
“Fine.” She sits up a little straighter, a mischievous shine to her eyes. “But you go first.”
“Okay, but I swear if you tell anyone, I’m coming for you.” I grin.
I open my mouth to tell Blair my one personal thing, and the waitress pops up out of nowhere with our shakes and food. She places everything on the table, along with a bottle of ketchup. “Can I get ya anything else?”
“Nope, I think this is good. Thanks.” I wave her away, not wanting any more interruptions.
She walks away, and Blair plucks a fry from her basket, shoving it between her lips. I stare mesmerized by the action for a second. Fuck, eating has never been so fucking hot before. Her lips move, words bounce off my eardrums, but I don’t hear what she’s saying.
All I can do is stare. I want those lips on mine, wrapped around my length.
“Are you going to tell me your secret?” The words finally sink in, and I blink, forcing myself to snap out of the lustful fog, though, I don’t drag my gaze from her plump mouth just yet.
“I was, but now I’m worried that if I tell you, you won’t tell me, so if you want to know mine, you have to go first.”
Blair rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her shake. “That’s not fair, but whatever, I guess.” She rolls her bottom lip between her teeth, an anxious look flashing over her face. Is she afraid to tell me? Embarrassed? Scared? Maybe I pushed too far.
Before I can interject and tell her she doesn’t really have to tell me anything, she starts talking, “Remember the night of the party when I poured the beer on your head.”
“Of course, how could I ever forget smelling like foul beer?”
That earns me a shy smile, and the air in my lungs ceases to exist. “Well, you remember what you called me that night? A nerdy virgin?”
Acid rises in my throat. “Yeah, and if I didn’t apologize yet, I’m sorry. You just shocked me; I’ve never met a girl that gave it back to me the way you did.”
“Shut up,” she huffs, and my lips press into a firm line. I notice the way her eyes drop to the basket of food in front of her and how her milky white cheeks have two round spots of pink forming on them. “You were right. I’m a virgin.”
I swallow, and then blink, and then swallow again. A rock has formed in my throat. A virgin. I mean I’m not surprised, but I’m shocked that she shared something like that with me. Not that I didn’t call it.
My nerdy little virgin.
I grin roguishly. “I called it, so I’m not really shocked. Also, it’s not a secret if I kind of already knew it.”
Her mouth pops open. “Well, it’s the only secret you’re getting. Now go, it’s your turn.”
Jesus, I’m not sure I have anything as juicy or even as honest as what she just shared with me. I watch her take two fries and dip them in her shake. She doesn’t eat like any of the girls I’ve ever gone out with. She eats like a woman who is hungry, one that doesn’t care if you see her shoving a burger down her throat.
“My secret isn’t as juicy as yours, but it will definitely get me made fun of if it makes the rounds with the football team.”
“You like butt stuff?” She blurts out, and all I can do is burst into laughter.
Full on body shaking laughter, the kind that makes your belly hurt and tears leak out the sides of your eyes. Blair joins in on the infectious laughter, a completely unladylike snort filling the air. We settle after a few moments, and I wipe at my eyes with the back of my hands.
“Butt stuff? Where did your virginal ears hear such a thing?”
“Don’t worry about it. I said I’m a virgin, not a nun.”
“Okay, well, it’s not that. It’s that I often pay for someone to give me a pedicure. I love getting my feet rubbed.
Blair’s face becomes serious. “You’re lying, that’s not your secret.”
I nod, taking a bite of my burger. I nearly groan at the greasy goodness that fills my mouth. I wipe the juice off my chin with a napkin and chew and swallow before speaking.
“It is, and it’s the only one you’re going to get, so you better savor it,” I mock, giving her words back to her.
“That’s not even worthy of the secret I gave you.”
I shrug. “It is what it is, virgin girl.”
“You suck,” she says, her lips passing over the straw as she sucks some of the shake into her mouth.
“Actually, by the looks of it, you suck.”
“You’re so crass, you know that, right? That you’re obnoxious and rude, and completely inappropriate.”
“I am, but I get the feeling you like it.” I shrug and continue eating.
“I like nothing about you,” she says, but I can tell she’s lying.
She won’t admit it, not now, but someday. I make her feel like she’s never felt before, and I can’t deny that she does the same to me. We finish eating, and she tells me about her books, which are mostly romance novels.
Her eyes light up with excitement over them, giving away how much they mean to her. Books, math, and crude humor. Those are her favorite things, or at least the things I’ve noticed about her thus far.
We argue over who is going to pay for dinner, which I end up doing because well, I may be an asshole sometimes, and I’m anything but a gentleman, but I still wouldn’t feel right letting this woman pay. On the way out to the truck with our bellies full and smiles on both our faces, I wish I could forget about everything around me.
I wish time could stand still and that this night could go on forever, but like all good things in my life, the night
comes to an end when we pull up at the hotel an hour later.
“You sure you don’t want to stay? I can get you an extra room?” I ask, putting the truck into park while she grabs her bag from the backseat.
“I’m sure, Cage. Don’t worry about me, I’m a big girl. I’m staying with my friend, Mia. She has an apartment here in Blackthorn. I’ll see you on Sunday, okay?”
I almost frown. I could kick myself in the ass, I swear. Blair is nothing to me. Football and fucking girls are what matter. Whatever we shared tonight, it was nothing just two people having a conversation.
“Yeah, sure,” I balk, doing my best not to show my sullen attitude.
I don’t want her to question my reaction. Ignoring her altogether, I get out and grab my bag. Burying the conversation we had just an hour ago, the feelings she spurred, the laughter. I shove it all down, swallowing it deep.
I let all the differences between us build back up and refuse to acknowledge anything else. Silently, we walk across the parking lot and up to the hotel entrance. I can’t help but notice how withdrawn she seems with each step we take.
Not your problem. She is not your problem.
“Blair!” Blair looks up from the ground and straight ahead to a dark-haired, petite woman standing at the hotel’s entrance. There’s a huge muscled guy without a lick of emotion on his face standing beside her.
Honestly, the dude looks like he could be a hitman. I track the movement of his eyes and watch as he drags his gaze over Blair, again without a lick of emotion on his face.
I don’t like the idea of leaving her with them. Who is this fucker? Why is he standing so close to Blair’s friend?
Blair starts to walk a little faster, waving at her friend. I know she’s not my problem, that she shouldn’t mean anything to me, but I need her to help me get my grades up. That’s it. I need to make sure she’s okay so she can continue tutoring me.
“Hey, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to call me,” I say before we are close enough that her friend could hear me.
“I’ll be fine, but thanks for your concern. Good luck with your game,” she calls, splitting away from me, her mousy brown hair blowing in the wind as she tosses it over her shoulder. Her hips sway with each step she takes, drawing my attention to her ass. It’s perfect, nice and round with a little bit of bounce.