by Nova Weetman
‘I think she knows that,’ says Thommo.
Frankie knocks her leg against his in thanks. He looks at her and she sees he’s blushing. She seems to be making everything worse all over again. ‘So, are we walking?’ Frankie slaps a mosquito on her arm.
‘I’ll be right back.’ Ged gets up and walks towards the house. Frankie wonders where he’s going.
‘I can’t walk!’ moans Joely.
‘Yeah, you can. It’ll be fine. We’ll go slow,’ says Frankie.
The conversation dies, and everyone listens to everyone else eating. Ged comes back with three mosquito coils and plonks them on the table.
‘Ergh,’ says Mack, waving away the smell. ‘That stuff stinks!’
‘It’s better than getting eaten by mozzies,’ says Ged.
Frankie quite likes the smell. It reminds her of the incense her mum used to burn.
‘Thanks, Ged,’ says Frankie. ‘Mozzies love me and I end up looking like I’ve got chickenpox or something.’
‘Everything loves you,’ says Mack under his breath, but loud enough for everyone to hear.
Frankie stares at him, waiting for him to look up, but he doesn’t. He just pushes his food around in circles with his fork, making Frankie furious.
‘Does anyone mind if I leave the table?’ says Frankie. ‘I’m going to try Mum.’
‘Sure,’ says Ged, sounding like the only normal person at the table.
Joely watches Frankie walk towards the house, hitching her dress up and nearly showing her undies. She’s pleased neither of her cousins look, and checks to make sure Ged isn’t either, but he’s concentrating hard on his pile of meat. Joely loves Frankie, but having her here isn’t as easy as she thought it would be. Mack’s shitty with her about something and Frankie’s been weird all afternoon since they had that argument about Thommo. Even putting makeup on didn’t seem to fix things properly.
But she can’t let that distract her tonight. She’ll be seeing Rory soon and, hopefully, with all the makeup Frankie’s plastered on, she’ll look okay in the dark.
As soon as Frankie makes it inside, she starts to cry. Everything feels wrong. Her dress, her hair, the mozzie bites already swelling on her arms, the heat and this place. She walks into the bedroom and slams the door, hoping they all hear it outside, hoping Mack knows it’s for him.
‘Hello Mum?’
‘Frank,’ comes her mum’s voice.
The sound of it makes Frankie want to rush home for a crappy hug.
‘You okay, Mum?’ Frankie says, wiping away her tears because she never cries around her mum.
‘Where are you, Frank? Haven’t seen you for ages.’
As Frankie begins to explain again, she hears her mum laugh and knows she’s not even listening. Frankie hangs up and buries her phone back in the drawer. It was a mistake ringing her mum, especially when she needed her.
Frankie carefully paints her lips pink, shakes out her hair and takes the green leather coat from the cupboard where it’s been hanging since she brought it home. She knows it’s too hot to wear, but she needs armour, so she slides herself into it anyway. She pulls the belt tight and instantly feels better. Mack wouldn’t dare try anything now.
Chapter 33
There are no clouds. The night is still except for the wild singing of the cicadas having their own party. The girls walk on one side, the boys on the other. No one is talking.
Mack wishes Joely would say something, and Thommo wishes his brother would crack one of his awful jokes to start the evening off. But Frankie and Joely don’t notice the silence. Both are too distracted by their own thoughts.
‘Aren’t you hot?’ says Mack to Frankie.
She smiles at him, knowing he’d never understand why she was wearing a coat on a night like this. ‘Maybe I’ve got nothing underneath.’ She grins, amused as the thought plays across Mack’s face then disappears in an embarrassed growl.
They walk past the ditch with the dead kangaroo, and Thommo looks over at Joely to see if she remembers. She must. Thommo can smell the rotting flesh even from the other side of the road, and he wonders why nobody mentions it. But Joely looks straight ahead and doesn’t seem to be aware of it at all. He wants her to notice, to say something and mourn it all over again, so he can appear sensitive in front of Frankie. He wants the chance to be more than he is and he feels angry with his cousin for not giving him the cue. He almost calls out to her, but he can’t say anything without appearing callous. He has no real reason to mention it. He could pretend it was bothering him and he needed to check if it was still there. But if the carcass was swarming with flies, it might make Frankie sick and he doesn’t want to hurt her. He just wants the chance to show her how much he cares.
He sneaks a look at Frankie, hoping his brother doesn’t see. She’s looking at him and she smiles, then looks away. Thommo can’t believe it. He knows it doesn’t mean much, not really. But still, it’s a smile, and that will carry him through the rest of the night.
Someone farts. It’s a cracking pop that echoes loudly in the still night. Joely laughs. Then Frankie. Then Mack, too.
‘Fuck, Thommo. That stinks,’ says Mack.
Thommo is suddenly standing alone. Mack has used the moment to cross the road and group himself with the girls.
‘It wasn’t me,’ says Thommo.
‘Yeah, right.’
‘It wasn’t.’
Joely and Frankie are still laughing.
‘It fucking wasn’t,’ says Thommo.
Mack sniffs the air loudly. ‘I reckon that’s one hundred per cent pure, Thommo.’
‘Fuck off, Mack.’
Mack pulls a face. ‘Calm down. Everyone farts. There’s no shame in it.’
But Thommo can’t calm down. He won’t let it go. ‘It wasn’t me.’ Thommo watches his brother turn to the girls and close in, using his denial as a tool. He realises this is what Mack does; he plays people, twisting situations to his advantage, even if it means laying others out to dry.
Thommo crosses the road and hits Mack across the back of his head. ‘It was your fucking fart, Mack.’
Mack reels around and laughs, but his eyes burn. Thommo knows Mack’s fists are ready, but he’s trying to keep them down because of Frankie and Joely.
‘It’s okay, Thommo. We all still love you, even though your arse stinks.’
Mack is trying to lighten it, but all Thommo hears is his brother taunting him. He hates him then, hates him for ruining the precious smile that was sent to him only minutes ago. Thommo wants to hit Mack again, harder this time, but he doesn’t because he knows his brother will wipe him out with one punch. Instead, he tries to smile, aware of Frankie and Joely watching.
‘But you have to walk on that side.’ Mack grins. ‘Away from us.’
Frankie steps forward, links her arm through Thommo’s and starts dragging him down the road. Thommo trips, his feet slower than his brain. He steadies himself. He can feel her long hair tickling his elbow, and it’s almost too much to have her so close. He is too aware of her, and he wishes she’d release his arm and just let him walk alone. But then he thinks of Mack behind them, and he grips her arm a little tighter, hoping his brother can see in the dark just how close they are.
Mack is replaying the fart scene over in his head, trying to work out where it all went wrong. He walks faster as he thinks, desperate not to let Frankie and Thommo out of his sight. Joely is walking beside him, but he can’t be bothered talking to her, not now that the real audience is off in the distance, probably whispering about him with Thommo. He lets off a stream of farts. They are quieter, but he doesn’t care if his cousin hears them. He wishes he’d never invited the girls to this party now. He should have been more careful, found ways to talk to Frankie alone. He hopes that Frankie is just feeling sorry for Thommo, and doesn’t really prefer his company, but then, Thommo
has grown, a lot, and they are almost the same size. Mack doesn’t know what to think. Then he laughs to himself. Frankie would never consider Thommo because she’s already hooked up with Macleod.
‘My feet hurt,’ says Joely.
Mack turns and sees his cousin sitting on the ground.
‘It’s all the blisters. And the sunburn,’ she says, sounding pathetic.
‘Take off your thongs then.’
‘It’s not the thongs. It’s my skin. It keeps pulling when I walk. It really hurts.’
‘What do you want to do?’
‘Maybe I should go home.’
‘But we’re almost there,’ says Mack, knowing there’s no way he’s going to take his cousin home now.
‘I don’t know.’
Mack looks back down the road. Thommo and Frankie have disappeared into the night. He wants to chase after them, keep an eye on them, just in case. But now he’s stuck with Joely and her sunburn.
Mack walks over to her and picks her up. She weighs nothing, less than a new calf, he thinks as he arranges her on his back.
Joely laughs. ‘What are you doing?’ she says.
‘Carrying you,’ says Mack.
‘No way,’ yells Joely.
‘Yeah.’
He holds her arms around his neck and takes off down the road. She bumps along on his back.
‘You’re just like carrying a dead animal, Joely.’
‘Great. Thanks.’
‘Don’t you eat?’
‘Yes. Salad.’
They reach the dam paddock. Mack can’t see Thommo or Frankie anywhere. He walks as fast as he can. Joely fidgets on his shoulders. He can hear the noise of the party: the people, the music. He stops at the edge of the paddock, looking at all the silhouettes. For a second he wants to run in the other direction, escape the faces he’s known all his life. But then he sees Anna dancing with their friends to a song that he loves, and someone yells his name, and he remembers that this is his town and that this is how it felt before Frankie. He drops Joely onto the ground.
‘You going to be right?’ says Mack, determined not to have to look after Joely all night.
‘Yes. Thanks.’
‘I’ll find you later.’
Joely watches him climb the fence and walk towards the dam. He’s surrounded in seconds, shaking hands, hugging, laughing. And then he’s gone.
Chapter 34
Joely can’t find anyone she knows. There are so many faces, so many strangers, and everyone seems to have someone. She can’t believe how hard it is to see. How’s she going to find Rory when there’s no light?
‘Joely, have you seen Frankie?’ says Thommo as he walks up to where Joely’s standing.
‘I can’t see anyone.’
‘She went looking for you.’
Joely likes hearing that, likes imagining her friend checking each face as she wanders in the dark. Thommo shuffles on the grass and Joely can’t believe how pathetic he looks. Obviously he has a huge crush on her friend and he has no idea that Frankie would never be interested in him. Just as Joely’s about to tell him, Frankie skips up with her coat on her arm.
‘There you are, Joely,’ she says. ‘It’s a crazy party! There’s so many people!’
‘I stole a couple of Dad’s beers. Do you want one?’ Thommo pulls out two stubbies from the pockets of his shorts.
Frankie laughs. ‘Classy. Want to share, Joel?’
‘No thanks.’
‘Cool. I’ll have it.’
Thommo takes off the top, and Frankie starts drinking fast.
‘Warm beer! Cheers,’ she says.
Thommo taps his beer against Frankie’s and Joely has that feeling of being outside it all again. Of watching and never being the one in the middle. She needs to find Rory and kiss him before he can forget her completely. Start the new year properly.
Frankie drinks more of her beer. ‘Any resolutions?’
‘To escape,’ says Thommo.
Frankie laughs. ‘What are you escaping?’
‘This place.’
‘It’s not so bad. I like it here,’ argues Frankie.
‘You don’t live here.’
‘Maybe I will. Maybe I’ll move here. It’s not like Mum cares where I live.’ Frankie sculls the rest of her beer.
‘You wouldn’t move here, would you?’ says Joely, not sure if her friend is winding her up.
Frankie shrugs and drops the empty bottle on the ground. ‘I need another beer. Let’s dance!’
Frankie tries to grab Joely’s hands, but Joely pulls away. She doesn’t want to dance. It’s weird when nobody else is, and besides, the music isn’t really dancing music. Frankie gives up and floats away, moving to her own beat. Joely watches her go, wondering what’s going on in her friend’s head.
Frankie dances in circles. She doesn’t care about the party behind her or worry if anyone is watching. She just wants to move out here in the paddock where there are just the stars for company.
As she dances further away from the party, she feels someone slinking up behind her. She turns and sees Rory. He grabs her hand, spinning her like a ballerina.
‘Are you having your own party?’
‘I’m dancing with the fairies.’
‘Are you pissed?’
Frankie lets go of his hand and keeps spinning, almost wishing that he hadn’t appeared and ruined her moment.
‘Nope.’ She stops dancing and stares at him. ‘Go away.’
‘You don’t mean that.’
‘Yeah, I do,’ she says.
He starts dancing with her, pulling her tight, and she realises she’s never felt afraid like this before. Except sometimes with her mum’s boyfriends. She can’t think about Rory’s body. It’s too close. So she thinks about her own and what he can see in the dark. Then he kisses her and all the doubts rush away.
He drops her coat to the ground and pulls her down. His hands go up her dress, grabbing her. It’s not great, the grabbing. It’s like he thinks he knows what he’s doing, but it’s nowhere near as good as when she does it herself. She likes the way he kisses though. But everything else is a disappointment. And she’s worried about her coat lying on the scratchy grass. Frankie wonders why her mum bothers with all those men if this is all she gets. She wonders if being with Thommo would be like this. She pushes Rory off, preferring to see the stars.
‘Why are you stopping?’ he says, rolling onto his back.
‘I dunno,’ says Frankie even though she does.
‘Thought we were going to … you know …’ He sounds like a surly little kid and Frankie wants to tease him.
‘What?’
‘Do it,’ he says finally.
It’s all she needs to hear; his big plans for the evening. She’s glad he told her now though because she would have hated finding out later. ‘Do what?’ she says, mocking him. Frankie laughs in the dark, wondering why some boys never learn.
He lights a cigarette. As he blows out the smoke he whispers, ‘Fuck.’
She wishes she was with Thommo rather than with a boy who thinks he’ll score just because she’s from the city and she wears short skirts. As she finds the saucepan constellation she tries to work out how to tell Rory nicely that she’s not that sort of girl.
‘Frankie …’
She hears a voice calling her name from a distance. She jumps up, fast. Rory tries to pull her down again, but Frankie pushes him away. ‘No,’ she whispers.
‘It’s just Thommo or Mack.’
She hopes that it is Thommo, hopes that he’s come looking for her.
‘Frankie …’ the voice calls again, sounding closer. She grabs her coat and starts running towards the voice. When she’s closer to the party, she sees him. He hurries over and nearly collides into her.
‘Thommo!�
��
‘I was worried,’ he says, looking away from her.
‘I was just walking.’
‘Alone?’
She looks at him and nods. He smiles and looks relieved.
‘I just thought …’
‘What? I was dancing with the fairies.’
‘Right. Fairies.’
‘Yeah,’ she says, daring him to disagree. But he smiles like he knows exactly what she means.
‘You having fun, Thommo?’
‘Yeah. Nah. I hate these parties. Everyone just gets pissed. And then they’ll all go swimming in the dam or end up in a fight.’
‘Sounds awesome,’ says Frankie.
Thommo doesn’t answer. Frankie can tell he doesn’t know what to say to her, so she takes his hand and starts dragging him to the edge of the party, where it’s darker. She lets go, but he doesn’t. Then he lets go as she grabs his hand again. They both laugh, embarrassed.
Suddenly, there’s a loud whistle behind them. Mack leaps on his brother’s back and grabs him hard around the neck. Thommo bucks him off.
‘What are you two doing?’ says Mack.
‘Talking,’ says Frankie.
‘Oh yeah. I saw you holding hands.’
Frankie laughs at him. ‘Are you spying on us, Mack?’
‘No. Just saw you that’s all.’
‘We were just talking. Okay?’
‘Didn’t think it was anything else. Thommo’s not really your type, is he?’ says Mack coldly.
Frankie doesn’t know what to say. She waits for Thommo to say something, but he turns away, leaving her to deal with his brother. She’s angry with them both. ‘Thommo’s my friend. Get over it,’ says Frankie.
Mack snorts like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. ‘Friend? Hear that, Thommo? Not like Macleod. He’s not your friend, is he, Frankie?’
‘Fuck off, Mack!’ yells Frankie.
‘Happily.’ He swaggers back to the party and then yells back at them, ‘But I’d stay away from her, Thommo. She’s bad news!’
Frankie turns to Thommo. His eyes look so sad that she looks away from him. He walks off, leaving Frankie alone in the dark.