She didn’t say anything; I thought it was because she knew I was right. For the first time since I had met her, Amber was silent. I didn’t know how to react without her banter coming back at me. I picked up the wrench she had thrown at me and launched it across the room in the opposite direction of her and the car. The sound of it hitting the window and shattering the glass was deafening.
“I have worked so hard to get to this point in my life. I put everything on hold. My parents died in a car crash, but still I pushed through the pain to follow my dream. My father left me Theresa when he died. He knew that she was my whole life, and you have taken that away from me. You and that foolish bet of yours. I hope you are happy with what you have done.” I ended my rant and spun around.
As I stomped out the front door, I could hear the crew waking up from the sound of the glass breaking, but I didn’t turn back around. I didn’t want to deal with any of them. With Theresa gone, there was no reason for me to deal with any of them anymore. I had never, in all my life, failed at anything I put my mind to. This was a first for me. Now I was going to have to forfeit the race all together.
Just as I reached the outskirts of the track, my phone started to vibrate. I looked down and saw it was Glen. The fact that he was up so early was startling to me. He was like me, never one for mornings. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, but I knew him well enough to know that he would just keep calling. He had friends on the pit crew; I could guess what the call was about.
“What?” I barked into the phone.
“What the hell man? James just told me that you ripped into Amber?” Glen mumbled, obviously still half asleep.
“Theresa is dead. She can’t be fixed after last night, so yeah, I ripped into her. It was her fault; she was the one who wanted me to race.” I told him.
Each time I said the words, I felt like a child. I slowed down as I started to realize that I had approached everything wrong.
“Dude, Amber is a saint to you. She didn’t jack up Theresa. You went into that race on your own free will. With fifty people around, who knows how Luke even slipped that filter off to start with?”
His words made sense, but I wasn’t ready to admit that just yet. I knew that I had taken out my anger on the wrong person. Amber hadn’t done anything wrong, but I had treated her worse than I had ever even treated Luke. Thinking about everything that I had said to her, I cringed again.
“Oh shit,” I muttered.
Glen chuckled, “Yeah Desmond, you screwed this one up pretty bad. If you have feelings for her, you better find a way to fix it and fix it fast. James said you almost made him want to curl up in a ball and die. He heard the whole thing, and he’s a tough fella.”
“Yeah, I was a real dick.” I agreed, “What am I going to do?”
16
Amber
I couldn’t believe everything that Desmond had just said to me. My heart felt like it was breaking into a thousand little pieces. For the first time since my father’s death, I felt a tear run down my cheek. How could he have been so mean? I stood there, in stunned silence while the shop around me started to wake up. It was still early, but Desmond’s outburst must have woken the entire track.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to pull myself together. Everything he said was right. I was the one who had pushed him to enter the race, and I should have checked the car before he left last night. When had Luke ever not taken the opportunity to show Desmond just how much damage he could do to Theresa? Now, it was too late. There was nothing that I could do to fix the engine.
I stood there, looking like a fool and wondering what was going to happen next. I didn’t want to leave without winning. It was the reason I came. I was going to have to close down the shop because of this. Without the income that this win would generate, there was no way that I could keep things going any longer. It was a wonder that things hadn’t gone south before now. I knew that there was nothing left to be done.
For a long time, I just waited for someone to come pull me out of the pity party that I was having for myself. I knew just as well as anyone, that no one was going to come and fix everything for me. I was going to have to fix this myself. Finally, like a light going off in my head, I snapped out of the daze and looked back at Theresa. I couldn’t give up, not on her. She meant everything to Desmond.
It may have been my fault that she was in her current state, but I was the best mechanic around. I would find a way to bring her back to life, even if it meant that I would need to rebuild everything and drive to Africa to get the parts needed to do it.
No matter what happened, I was going to make sure that she was ready for the race in three days. There was no other way; it was the only way for me to show Desmond how sorry I was and just how much I cared. Then, once the race was over, we could part ways and never see each other again.
I dropped everything that was I doing and went to the small office area in the makeshift mechanic’s shop. Plopping down into the chair, I pulled out my phone. The parts that I needed were uncommon, but with a little bit of luck, I would know someone who had them.
I started to look through the contacts in my phone, wondering if anyone was going to be awake so early. It didn’t matter, though; this was something worth waking up for. They would love to help me out and I knew it.
“Thanks Frankie,” I said two hours later. “Yeah, I know, I called him too.”
I said goodbye to the last of the contacts in my phone and tossed it down onto the desk. It had been hours of making phone calls to every mechanic that I had ever known. The parts that I needed though were rare. I couldn’t just walk into an auto parts store and grab them off from the shelves. At least one was a custom item. Theresa could run without it, but it would give the other cars around her a huge edge to beat her out. Plus, it didn’t do me any good without all the other parts that I needed.
My phone vibrated on the desk, and my heart jumped a little bit. Maybe someone had found something! Looking down, I sighed. No such luck.
“Hey Diana now’s not really a good time,” I said to my sister, crestfallen.
“Wow. You sound terrible!” she replied.
“Yeah, it’s been a pretty awful day and night,” I replied.
I told her everything. It wasn’t like me just to open up to anyone so boldly, but I needed to talk. I needed someone to know that I was doing everything in my power to make the situation right again. I knew that I was failing and that I was probably going to leave the race as a disgrace, but I still kept trying.
I didn’t want Desmond to lose his dream too. It didn’t seem right that both of us had to give up on them just because of the mistake I made.
“Well, first of all. It doesn’t sound like it was all your fault. I would be telling that Desmond Keys a thing or two!” yelled my sister.
I smiled, “Thanks, Diana. I know that he was just angry, but he was right too. We will have to forfeit the race.”
I heard her let out a sigh, “I am really sorry about all this Amber. I know how much it meant to you to be there.”
“Yeah, I guess some dreams are just ones that aren’t meant to come true. I am sure I can find work somewhere else. I just wish the shop wasn’t going to close, without it, a lot of good men are going to lose their jobs.” I told her.
“It just doesn’t make sense,” she said. “I wish that cars were like body parts; you know? If you are lucky, and one of your parts starts to fail, like a heart or a kidney, you can just pull one out of a donor and replace it.”
I laughed, listening to her with only half my thoughts, I was distracted by everything going on around me in the shop. The men knew that things were pretty much hopeless, and a few had already started to silently pack things away. It was one of the most depressing things that I had ever seen. It wasn’t just my hopes and those of Desmond. Each man there knew it was an honor to be on that racing team.
"Like dad’s old car that he never fixed. I don’t know how many times I saw him take the motor out of it ju
st to tinker around.” Diana was still talking.
Something about what she was saying, it pulled me back in. My father’s old car. What was it about that old ride that had always been so special to him? It was the engine. He had worked on it for years, making everything about it run perfectly.
When I had asked why he never tested it out, he said that the timing just wasn’t right. He wasn’t ready to find out if he was the driver he had always thought he was in his mind.
“A motor like this, Amber,” He had said to me. “It deserves something special. It’s not the type of thing that you just take to Sunday dinner. This is something special. It deserves a home among the best.”
The memory came flooding back to me in waves.
“Oh my God, Diana!” I screamed into the phone, “That’s it! I can’t believe it! You are so smart!”
I hung up on my sister, not waiting for a response. I called the shop, and Jason answered, he was always at work and ready to go as early as possible. I didn’t want to think about how much overtime was costing me while I was at the race. I told him what needed to be done, and he listened in stunned silence. I wasn’t surprised; I had never let anyone touch the motor. If anyone was going to pull it off, I knew that Jason would do so carefully.
“I need it here in twenty-four hours Jason,” I said to him.
“Whoa, who do you want to drive it down?” he asked me, knowing that the timeline was tight.
“You, I don’t want anyone else going near it. I know that sounds rough, but that car was my dad’s baby. I need this engine to come and save the day for me okay?” I told him.
“Alright boss, whatever you say,” he muttered.
“Jason, get here as fast as you can. The longer it takes you, the less time I have to try and save our asses and the shop all together. You know how hard things have been for me since my father died. If we don’t win here, I don’t think that I can keep the shop above water any longer.” I told him.
He fell silent then said he would be there as fast as possible. I didn’t like to share the money problems we were having with any of my employees. It wasn’t their job to worry. All I needed them to do was work, and I would always make sure they had a paycheck. With everything going downhill, I wasn’t going to be able to guarantee them anything for much longer.
17
Desmond
“It’s been two days Desmond; you need to go talk to her,” Glen said to me.
I knew he was right; I had been avoiding Amber ever since I had verbally attacked her. I just didn’t know what I could say now to make up for everything that I had already said. She probably never wanted to see me again, and I couldn’t blame her.
Knowing Amber, she was still trying to find a way to make Theresa run, but every mechanic I had talked too had said the same thing, there was just no way without the parts. The parts would need to be custom made too.
“What am I supposed to say to her Glen?” I asked him as I drank my beer, “Sorry I was such a jerk? My dreams have been ruined.”
He laughed, it was a depressing noise. He knew as well as I did that the end was coming. It was like watching a boat sinking slowly in the middle of the ocean. Nothing could be done to save the vessel, but you couldn’t pull your eyes away from the destruction.
“Just because you aren’t going to win this year, doesn’t mean that you can’t try again next year,”.
I scoffed, “Actually, it does. I won’t be coming back to the racing scene. The Grand Nevada was the final race for Theresa and me both. I have other things that I need to do.”
“Man, what about me?” asked Glen playfully.
“Don’t worry; I planned on taking you with me where I go. I can’t do a whole lot of good without you at my side,” I joked.
“Maybe there is someone else that you should have at your side instead?” he offered.
I shook my head and fell silent. Once again, he was right. In the past two days, I had been miserable, but it hadn’t stopped me from staying away from the shop.
I knew that the mechanics would be packing things up, and I couldn’t go back there. Not now, it was too soon. It was like returning to the scene of an accident. Amber would never forgive me for everything that I said to her.
“You know,” said Glen softly. “She probably still blames herself for what happened to Theresa. I know that you don’t want to go back to the shop, but did you think about that?”
I shook my head. I hadn’t thought about it until he had said something. I knew Amber well enough though to know that Glen was right. She was probably beating herself up trying to make things right and thinking that I was still mad at her for everything that happened.
That just wasn’t the case. I was staying away because I was the one who was wrong and that was a feeling that I wasn’t use to at all. I didn’t know how to tell someone I cared about that I was sorry.
Somehow, I knew that even after I told her, the chances of her forgiving me were pretty slim. Who would ever forgive someone after all the awful things that I had said to her? I knew I wouldn’t forgive myself. Although, Amber had continually surprised me, so if anyone had a heart of gold, it was her.
Maybe I could talk her into leaving the race and everything else in the world far behind us. Maybe she would just drop everything and go. I chuckled at the idea; Amber wasn’t the kind of girl to run away with anyone, especially an asshole like me.
“What are you going to do Desmond?” Glen asked softly.
I shook my head, “I guess I am going to go tell her I’m sorry. Even if she doesn’t want to talk to me ever again, I have to try, right?”
Glen smiled, “Whoa, I can’t believe it! You are turning into a real man, Desmond.”
I punched his arm playfully. I would need to find a way to stay in touch with Glen, even after my racing career was over. I wasn’t joking when I told him that this was my last race. I had other things in my life that needed to be taken care of. Racing was just one on a long list of things I wanted to check off before I kept going on my journey in life. I was a big believer that you should always challenge yourself.
The Grand Nevada was the final challenge in my racing career. I knew, even with Theresa down, that I would have won the race. My car and my driving skills were just that good.
I rose from the track bar and paid the tab before smiling at Glen. “Well, here goes nothing.”
He gave me thumbs up, and I sauntered out of the bar. The sandstorm was finally starting to pass, and I knew that I was going to have to pull myself from the race before they did the lineup the next morning. I just wanted to see Amber first. I knew that nothing had changed but for some reason, talking to her would be the end. I had no plans on returning to the shop after I pulled out of the race, and I owed her an apology before I left.
If I would have thought that even for one second she would’ve taken me back, I would have run to her the second I realized I was wrong. No woman, at least no woman with her kind of fire, could possibly forgive me. I didn’t want things with her to be over though. She wasn’t like other women though, once she set her mind to something, nothing would change it.
Not even a man she cared about, maybe even one she had loved at one point. I couldn’t let my feelings start to get to me now.
My phone began to vibrate as I walked through the storm, it was Amber. My heart did a little flip at seeing her name run across the screen of my phone. The picture was one of her after we had made love. She was flushed and smiling, beautiful. The coward in me continued to watch her name flash, unsure if I could answer it or not. As the ringing continued, I had to know what was going on with her. I hit the answer button.
“Hey Amber,” I said. I flinched as I heard my voice, I sounded so desperate, even with just those two words slipping from my mouth.
“Desmond!” she replied, her voice sounding cheerful and full of happiness.
It caught me off guard; I wondered if she had found another car or driver to work for. Maybe one with a chan
ce of winning so she could still get the credit for being the winning mechanic. The jealousy inside of me flared back up. I didn’t want her working for another man. I didn’t want to think about her with another man at all. It didn’t matter if they were working or just having a drink. I wanted her to be with me, and me only. Maybe it wasn’t too late to save things with her.
“Amber, listen,” I started to say. I was frantic now for her to hear me out. “I need to talk to you; I am on my way to the shop now actually. Can you meet me there?”
She laughed, “Of course I can meet you here! Where else would I be silly?”
“What?” I said in a stunned voice. “I just assumed that you would have moved on by now, you know?”
She laughed once again, “Really? Don’t you know me at all Desmond? I don’t give up.”
“What do you mean?” I asked her, my heart filling with joy. I prayed that she had decided to give me … and us a second chance.
“Just come on down to the shop, I have a surprise for you,” she said vaguely.
“What it is?” I asked, never having been one for surprises.
I could hear the joy in her voice, “It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, now would it?”
She laughed before hanging up the phone without saying anything else to me. I stared at my phone, a blank look on my face for several minutes. I had no idea what had just happened. I couldn’t even be sure that I hadn’t imagined the entire thing.
It was so strange that she would be so cheerful after everything that had happened. I didn’t know what to do but apparently my feet did as they carried me to the shop.
When I arrived outside the door, I froze. I could hear a commotion inside, and my heart was racing. I didn’t know why she wanted to see me, but I knew that I was going to have to tell her I was sorry and pray that she still wanted to give us a chance even after I had been so mean to her. She had said it herself; she wasn’t one to give up on things. I prayed that I was one of those things that she was talking about.
Fast and Loaded: A Bad Boy Sports Romance Page 9