by Emily Sharp
Smiling, he put his hands on his hips, a proud look to his face. “One day I will be considered a master painter, and you, Adara, the highlight of my work,” he said, giving a small bow, his arm across his stomach.
Adara felt Louise's hand come around her waist. “And she is the highlight of my collection, aren't you, my dear?”
With a nod, Adara forced a smile, feeling a bit uncomfortable but knowing it brought Louise joy. She was feeling like an object again, but if it made Louise happy, she would put up with it.
“Thomas, please escort Claude out,” Louise said into her device before returning it to the clip on her jeans. With a few pleasant goodbyes, Adara watched the man leave and then smiled at Louise.
“Take your mask off, he is gone.”
“Yes. I almost forgot, thank you,” Louise said, taking it off and setting it to the side. Moving her hair back behind her shoulders, she took Adara's hand and led her to the bay window.
“Here, put your back to me, my friend,” Louise said. Nodding, Adara turned and scooted back, Louise’s hands moving to her shoulders.
“I could tell you were tight,” Louise said, her hands removing the small knots in Adara's shoulders. Adara let out a sigh and closed her eyes, loving the feeling of her shoulders being moved.
“The last hour was pure hell. But, I am glad to have done it for you.”
“And it is noticed and appreciated,” Louise said, her voice as soothing as the hands that relaxed her.
“Where will you hang it?”
“I think in my room would be the best place, though someone of your beauty should not be hidden away,” Louise said, her hands digging in harder.
Adara felt tired, the massage relaxing her, and she lay back against Louise. Hearing a small gasp, Adara opened her eyes and glanced down. The dress had slid down a little, her breasts now more exposed. Not wanting anymore to be shown, she quickly sat up.
“Thank you for that, I feel a lot better,” Adara said, then stood and pulled the dress back up. Turning to look out the window, the sun was out, the sky clear. It had not snowed in a week, and the temperature had remained around fifty.
Then Louise's hand was on her arm, moving up and down it in a caress. Adara did not want to upset her, but since she had come back, Louise's touches had increased. And though at times it felt good bringing wonderful sensations, times like now, they were too much. She was not an object like the painting, and that was one area Louise needed to work on.
“So, let’s do something different for dinner tonight,” Adara said, turning around, Louise's hand leaving her arm.
“What did you have in mind?”
“I am not sure, let me think for a moment,” Adara said, walking past her and going over to the tray near the fireplace to pour herself a glass of wine and then one for Louise.
The device went off, the sound of Sofia's voice coming through.
“Madam, a Ms. Reynolds is calling concerning the job position.”
Adara took a sip of her wine, curiosity coming over her. Louise had not told her that she was hiring someone new.
“Thank you, Sofia.” Turning to Adara she smiled. “I hate to be rude, but I must take a call in here for a while. Let me know about dinner tonight,” Louise said, walking past her and going the couch.
Adara bit her lip, feeling pushed to the side. With wine glass in hand, she headed out of the library and into the hallway. “Who could she be possibly hiring?” she whispered. Her own feelings confused her. She felt a bit of jealousy at the moment.
Stopping at the foot of the stairs, she saw Sofia dusting the banister. She was wearing her usual outfit of black dress pants with a black sweater. Adara was not one to judge, but she noticed Sofia had been gaining weight.
“That is my favorite dress. You look wonderful as always,” Sofia said, setting the duster down, a hand going to her hip. Ever since Adara returned, Sofia seemed to have broken out of her silent mood. She had been especially talkative, and Adara was glad they were friends again.
“Thank you. Do you want to have lunch together by chance? I am hungry.”
Sofia smiled. “I would like that.”
“Good. Come with me, I need to ask you something.” Adara took her hand as they headed up the stairs. Adara waited until they were in her room, closing the door behind her. “What is Louise hiring for? I am dying to know!” she asked, going to the walk-in closet, Sofia following behind her.
“Well, it is for an assistant, personal assistant,” Sofia said. Adara nodded as she moved the hangers to the side, looking at each piece of clothing before pushing it out of the way. Then she saw a purple cashmere sweater and she removed it, then went to the lower hangers to select a pair of jeans.
“I see. And when does she plan on hiring her?” she asked, turning around, her back to Sofia. “Do you mind getting the zipper?”
“Of course, no problem,” Sofia said. She unzipped her, and then seeing she had turned around, Adara began to change as Sofia talked.
“Madam told me she expects you to go. She wants an assistant to help her, to go with her outside.”
Adara buttoned up her jeans and grabbed her tennis shoes and slipped them on before turning back around. A million thoughts and feelings ran through her, including hurt and jealousy.
“Help her outside?”
Sofia nodded. “She told me she enjoys it now, though it is hard for her. She says not even ten women can give her courage like you. But, she must try,” Sofia said, a sad nod to her head.
Adara put her hand to her own chest, feeling sad. “She thinks that much of me?”
“Yes. Well, to be honest with you…No. I should not say,” Sofia said, as they headed out of the closet.
Adara put her hand on Sofia's shoulder to stop her. “Can you please tell me?”
She watched as Sofia sighed. “I have never seen Madam so happy since you came here. When you returned, well, it was like as she said, you light up the castle. And I agree. I will miss you when you leave. You are part of our family.”
Adara wiped at her eyes, the kindness of those words going straight to her heart. It felt great to be wanted and to be loved. And more importantly to have friends, close friends she could confide in.
Sofia turned around, a smile on her face. “And I see you smile more when you are around her.”
“Maybe I do. Thank you for telling me all of that. It means a lot. I have not yet decided to leave or to stay come June. I may even return to my cabin for a month to decide there. But no matter what, you will always be my friend. And I truly consider you my best friend.”
Adara watched as Sofia broke down crying, and putting her arms around her, she held her, trying to comfort her, not sure why she was so upset.
“Awww, it’s OK. Is there anything wrong? Something you want to talk about?”
“No. Thank you, those words mean more to me than anything.”
They hugged for a minute and then breaking it, Adara wiped a tear from her own eye. “I am a natural crier, and if anyone else cries I can’t help but join in. So, no more talk of being best friends or we will flood this place out!”
Both women laughed, and then walking side by side, they headed downstairs to eat.
***
Adara laughed as she pushed away her plate. Then dabbing at her mouth with the napkin, she set the cloth on top of the table.
“What is so funny, my princess?” Louise asked, her hand coming to Adara's arm. They were in the dining room and had just finished dinner.
“That you told me to dress causal, and with pizza for dinner, we should have just eaten in the game room.” Adara reached for her wine and took a drink. Setting her glass down, she watched as Louise quickly filled it back up. Not wanting a repeat of the last time she drank too much, she put her hand on Louise's arm.
“Please, no more.”
“I see,” Louise said, setting the bottle down. Taking her own glass, Louise raised it up. “To restricting our drinking,” she said with a smile.<
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“Oh, fine, I will drink to that,” Adara said, taking her glass and raising it. The glasses clinked, the echo seeming louder than usual and then Adara took a long drink. Setting her glass down, she watched as Louise stood up.
“It is still in the fifties outside. Let us return to the gazebo, I have already turned the heaters on.”
Adara smiled and then walked over to grab her coat that lay on a footstool.
“Allow me,” Louise said.
With a nod, Adara let Louise hold the coat as she slipped her arms through it. Turning around, she watched as Louise grabbed the zipper, lined it up, and began to pull it up. When she reached the top, Louise let go, her hand moving to Adara's face.
“So beautiful,” she whispered. Adara's heart raced, wondering if Louise was going to kiss her. She went to speak to stop her, but then Louise confused her by turning away to grab her own coat and slip it on.
“Come. Let’s bring more wine,” Louise said.
Adara walked over, her mind reeling in confusion. Was Louise going to kiss her? Was it just her imagination or something that she wanted?
A minute later, with a fresh bottle and wine glasses in hand, they went outside. The night air was chilly, but with the heavy fur-lined coats, Adara was warm. The wine she sipped also helped with keeping her warm and settling her mind.
She glanced down and watched Louise's arm slip through her own.
“My friend, you will be leaving before I know it. You know it saddens me, do you not?”
Adara nodded as they took a left, their steps slow. The stars were out in full numbers, the moon lighting the path in front of them.
“I do. I heard you are hiring an assistant. Sofia told me earlier today.” She was curious to know what was going on. And truth be told, it bothered her, the thought of being replaced.
Louise let out a sigh. “Yes, I did not want you knowing, but it is true.”
Adara felt conflicted, her emotions feeling a twinge of jealousy that someone else would be here. Yet she also felt relief the pressure was off of her.
“May I ask why? I have not yet made my decision. I am still thinking about the possibility of it.”
“When you saw your father, I saw how happy you were. And, I understand that you need to be with him in the city, not out here in nature with me.”
“Wait,” Adara said, stopping in her tracks. Louise turned to her, her head tilted slightly. Adara felt a little angry. How dare Louise decide what she felt. “I love nature, and I like it out here. And to be honest, I have already thought about staying at my cabin for a month before I make my final decision. But I still don’t know what I have decided.”
“I'm sorry to have assumed,” Louise said, as they continued walking. “Adara, it is no secret I want you here with me. But I have to assume the inevitable and find a new…friend.”
“But I will always be your friend,” Adara said, feeling hurt, not understanding why Louise felt the friendship had to end. Louise said nothing but gave a sad smile. Continuing to walk, they came up the steps of the gazebo, the heat bars running around near the top glass bright, their warmth welcoming.
Taking a sip from her wine, Adara watched as Louise set the bottle down and came back to her with her own wine glass.
“You look upset.”
“I am. Well, what I mean is,” Adara said, confused. “I don't know what I want. Whether to say here, or leave, and you don't need to hire a friend!” She blurted out, anger and hurt in her voice.
Louise nodded. “I do need to hire a friend. You are going to leave me alone here. Who will I dine with? When I am scared, who will sing to me?”
Adara watched as she went back to the coffee table and set her glass down.
“I will always be your friend,” Adara said, feeling horrible for letting Louise down.
“I know that, my Beauty. And one day you will meet a woman, and then what?” Louise said, turning around, and then walking back to Adara.
“We can still be friends.”
Louise shook her head. “I'm afraid not.”
“Why?” Adara said, hurt going through her, the thought of losing Louise too much to think about.
“It would not be fair to her to remain friends, knowing how I feel about you. No, I am afraid that when that day comes…” Louise said, a tear rolling down her cheek.
Adara set her glass down, and turning back to Louise, the floodgates of her own tears on the verge of breaking. “Please do not speak like that!”
“I have to because it’s the truth, and you know it.” Louise said, her voice sad but firm.
“No, it’s not!” Adara said, walking over to the post and looking out across the night sky. In her heart she knew Louise was right. When she met someone else, it would not be appropriate to still be Louise's friend. She wiped at her eye and then felt Louise's hand come to her hip, the other moving in front of her, in it a ring.
“Then marry me, Beauty. Stay here with me, and we can avoid losing what we already have,” Louise whispered in her ear, slipping the ring on her finger.
Adara began to cry, her emotions all over the place.
“Do not cry.”
“I…”
“You do not love me, do you?”
“No, I do not. Not in that way,” Adara cried out, hurt at her own words.
“I understand. You do not love me, nor can you be my friend. A horrible situation for us both,” Louise said, removing the ring, her voice sounding hurt.
Adara felt horrible, and turning around, she placed her hand on Louise's shoulder.
“But we are friends now.”
Louise nodded, her hand then moving to her wipe a tear from Adara’s eye. “Yes. At least we have that…for now.”
She walked over and grabbed her wine glass and then went and sat on the bench. Adara picked up her own drink and then hurried to her, hoping to make her feel better, and perhaps herself.
“I am sorry,” Adara said, looking at the pained look on Louise’s face. In that moment, the air seemed colder, the night sky not as bright.
“Do not apologize, my Beauty. Never apologize for how you feel.”
“But I…”
“Let us enjoy the stars before we retire for the evening,” Louise said.
With a nod, Adara took a sip of her wine and leaned back into her friend. What had started out as a day full of laughter had ended with heartache. And as she drank her wine, she couldn't help but think there was one problem that caused it all.
Herself.
Chapter Twenty
Time had been moving by too quickly, much to Louise’s irritation. It was now early March, and her Beauty would be leaving in just a few months. It angered and saddened her to no end. If the woman in front of her crying had done a better job, Louise would not have to worry.
“Remove your robe,” Louise commanded, speaking through the hair that hung over her face. Sofia nodded and took the robe off. The weight she had gained had gone to her thighs, butt, and breasts and nowhere else, which caused more anger to go through her.
“Now, eat.”
“Madam, I am full. I ate two portions already.”
“I do not care! Eat!” she barked, pointing to the plate of food. It was around nine in the morning, and Louise knew Adara was taking a bath and would not be looking for her just yet. Sofia went over and picked up the tray and went back to her bed, setting it on her lap.
“You disgust me, Sofia,” Louise said, leaning against her dresser. Sofia nodded as she shoveled another bite of egg into her mouth, her tears falling onto the tray. Louise watched as she sobbed, piling the food into her mouth, her breathing heavy. The woman was in pain, emotional pain. The pain that can send one mad, the pain that can confine one to their home. And she wished it on no one.
“You…disgust me…” Louise said, a choked sob escaping her mouth, as she turned looking into the mirror. Tears fell as fast as the confusion going through her as she fell against the dresser, burying her head in her arm. Why did sh
e care Sofia was hurting? The woman deserved no compassion, yet that is what she was feeling.
“Madam,” the soft voice said behind her, a hand coming to her shoulder. It was a hand of friendship, of caring and concern. And the pain in Louise's stomach grew tighter, anger at herself boiling over.
“Madam, are you OK?”
Louise pushed back, sending Sofia stumbling into the tray, which fell as she let out a small cry, the dishes shattering.
“I am fine! I am always fine!” Louise yelled, then hurried out of the room into the hallway. Everything seemed to be spinning as she ran down the corridor, Sofia's voice calling out for her. Working her way through the large kitchen and then into the smaller one, Thomas was at the small table, reading a newspaper.
“Do not look at me!” she barked as she moved past him. Hurrying up the stairs, she wanted to get to her room, away from everyone, a place of quiet to understand what was going on with her. She was changing, and it scared her to no end.
Closing the door to her room, she ran to her vanity mirror. Pushing her hair back, she looked at her face, wet from her outburst of emotion.
“I do not like her!” she whispered to her image. Seeing the reflection of herself, for a moment she saw something that she had never seen before. A woman who was beautiful, who laughed and had a friend in Adara.
“But why do I hate myself?”
Her reflection distorted for just a brief moment, allowing her for the first time to see something past the scars that lined her face. Instead, she slowly began to see the scars deep inside her own soul. And they were starting to fade away, leaving something beautiful in their wake.
***
“I can’t believe how warm it is out here!” Adara said, as they stepped out of the front door of the castle. Louise nodded. Indeed it was warm. They each wore a light windbreaker, the sun was out, and it had to be in the mid-seventies. With her hair around her face, Louise felt shielded, not just from prying eyes, but from her own emotions.
They began to walk, and the fears started to wreak havoc through Louise's body. The fear of being seen had not left her. And though Adara truly did give her courage being by her side, Louise did not let her know that these walks killed her inside, the terror was that great.