by Emily Sharp
“But I am scared for you. That you will not…want to live.”
“I will be fine,” Louise said, though she lied. The heartache was too much for her, and she did not want Sofia to be around her any longer to witness her in agony.
“Then I will leave in one week’s time, if that is what you wish.”
Louise nodded. “Thank you.” Then she reached out and pulled Sofia into her, and the woman held her as she wept, for she feared that when Sofia was gone, it would be the last time she ever saw her.
“One more thing,” Louise said, standing up. Walking over to a small desk, she grabbed a large envelope, its contents thick. Taking it in her hand, she glanced up at the picture of Adara hanging on the wall. For a moment, Louise imagined what would happen if Adara walked through the door. The joy she would feel, holding her, telling her how sorry she was. Then maybe Adara would forgive her, and they could work together to build a relationship.
Shaking the thought from her head, she headed back to Sofia, handing her the envelope.
“What is this?”
“Contracts and other legal documents. You are also the rightful heir to the Vandercourt fortune and you are entitled to your fair share and more.”
Sofia smiled, a slight shake to her head. Setting the envelope to the side, she stood up and wiped at her eye.
“You know, when our father came to visit in the summer, I was always happy. He would take me out in the village and buy me things. Though I appreciated the gifts, it was his love I cherished. Then, when you and I first met, I only wanted the same.”
Louise nodded, her hands crossing over her stomach.
“I do not want any of the company, just your love as my sister.” Before Louise could react, Sofia's arms were around her, hugging her once again. The unselfishness of the woman still shook up Louise, her genuine kind spirit something she envied.
“Then I will pay you a hefty back pay and deposit money every year in your bank account. Allow me at least to do that?”
Sofia nodded. “That will work.”
Louise smiled, giving her one more hug.
“I must make a phone call. We can talk later,” Louise said, then headed over to her chair, sitting on the yellow fabric. She watched as Sofia walked out of the library, and the moment she left, Louise began to weep again. Heading over to the liquor cart, she grabbed a bottle of wine, and hurried outside.
***
Louise did not know how long she sat at the gazebo, but the wine bottle was now empty, the moon high in the sky, its beams casting down a glow on her alone. Oh, how she wished Adara was here, beside her. Holding her hand, hearing her laugh.
“I am so sorry, Adara,” she whispered, wishing the words would carry through the night and perhaps into Adara's cabin just a few miles away. Louise began to weep, knowing that they would not. They would disappear into the night air never to be heard by anyone, let alone the one she loved.
Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out the diamond ring that she used to propose to Adara every night. The joy of slipping it on her finger, the sadness of rejection, but the hope that came with it that Louise would be loved. Putting the ring back in her pocket. Angry at herself for what she had done, the misery upon her brought on by her own works.
The sound of crunched gravel came to her ear, and Sofia came up to her as Louise fell against her crying into her shoulder.
“Sofia, what have I done? I love her.”
“I know you do. Come, my sister, you must get to bed.”
The walk back to the castle was long, and Louise's steps were heavy from the weight of sadness and regret that bore down on her. Yet Sofia managed to hold her, guiding her up the stairs and into her bed. Sitting beside her, Sofia held her hand, a look of worry on her face.
“I love her so much, Sofia. Do you think she knows?” Louise asked, her voice choked, her eye heavy from exhaustion.
“She knows. Deep down inside, she knows.”
With a half-smile, Louise closed her eyes, hoping the nightmares would not come to her this night.
***
Adara woke up with a start, her hand clenched against her chest, looking around the dark room. Memories of the castle came to her, as did the words “I am so sorry.” Shaking her head from the nightmare, she realized she was on the couch in her cabin, the glow of the embers in the fireplace still bright.
Louise's voice had awakened her from her dream, and though she could not recall what the dream was, she knew she had dreamed it before. As she got up from the couch, her heartbeat began to return to normal. Flicking the switch on the wall, she squinted against the artificial light. Going back to the couch, she grabbed her diary off the coffee table, and opened it up and began to write.
It has been two weeks since I left the castle, and though I am free from the chains that held me there, I still feel a need to go back. To see Louise again, to be sure, but for what real reason, I am not sure. The anger inside me toward her has gone down a little, but it is still in me. I find the things I used to take joy in are now gone. Her words the night I left still haunt me—Do not let the anger that cursed me do the same to you.
So, here I am, alone in the cabin, wondering how I feel about her. On one hand, my anger is so much I cannot stand to think of her. But part of me misses our walks, our dinners, her attempts to woo me. And there is something else I miss, a woman who began to laugh, who shared so much with me. Though I realize it had all started out as a ruse, I am starting to wonder if there was some truth to it.
I used to think all we had was our dreams, then felt foolish for believing so. But my father said that is all we have, and I know he would not lie to me.
Adara sighed as she set the diary back down on the coffee table. Too tired to get up and turn off the light, she lay back on the couch. Her thoughts went to Louise, and for the first time in a few weeks, she wondered if she was doing OK.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Adara walked outside with a cup of coffee in her hand. Though the morning was cool, spring was here. It had been a month since she left the castle, and the grass outside was green yet again. New flowers were beginning to take form, the colors of them pleasing to the eye. The mountains were still snowcapped, as they would remain for several months to come.
Then the deer, the same one she had seen many times before she left the castle, came into view. Though she could not prove it, Adara knew deep inside her it was the same one.
She laughed, giving it a curtsy like she had before. “Good morning, I think it’s going to be a wonderful day, isn't it?” The deer stared at her, its ears twitching, she thought for a moment it may just fly off. But then an odd thing happened, the deer looked forward, a snort coming from its nose as it looked in the direction of the castle.
You’re silly, it doesn't know, Adara thought as she took a drink from her mug. Then the deer looked back to her one more time and then took off, its speed quick, its leaps seeming to transport it for miles with each jump. After a few moments, it disappeared from sight.
Adara walked off the porch, the morning dew coating the hem of her jeans. As she made her way around the side of her cabin, she looked out, seeing one of the top spires of the castle. A castle was a place for princess to reside, walls that were meant to capture dreams and even love. Not the heartache and deceit that she had gone through.
Wiping at her eyes, she hurried back inside the cabin. Her father had gone grocery shopping, but supplies had run out. Though she was not eating as much as she used to, it was time to go into town and get some more food. Heading into her sisters’ room, she pulled out an old sweatshirt and slipped it on. Her father had left her plenty of cash, and taking some, she slipped it into her pocket. Heading to the bathroom, she pulled her hair back, a hair tie holding the pony tail in place.
She looked at herself in the mirror, the bags under her eyes were a testament to her sleeping patterns, night after night of restless sleep, waking up for an hour at a time only to doze back off, and wake up again
an hour later. Shaking her head, she headed out, taking her purse and grabbing the keys to the old truck. Locking up the cabin, she got in the truck, letting it warm up for a few minutes before pulling out and heading away from her cabin.
***
Instead of heading into town first, Adara found herself driving toward the castle. She took the dirt road that led to the main gate. Fields that were starting to show color were on either side of her, trees once bare and brown now showing different shades of green. Slowing the truck down, she looked at the large metal building where the numerous vehicles were stored, the house and cabins beside it. Putting her foot down on the brake, she let out a cry when she saw the picnic table they had eaten at, remembering the laughs they shared.
She took her foot off the brake and let the truck roll forward until it came to a stop in front of the large gates. Beyond those gates was the castle that Louise lived in with its tall white marble walls shining with the sun’s reflection. Looking back at the gate in front of her, Adara recalled the first time Louise and her came to it, the courage it took for her to leave the confines of the wall, and the joy she had seen in her eyes, conquering her fears one step at a time. Then the sounds of helicopters, Louise sobbing into Adara as she comforted her, letting her know that she had nothing to fear, that she was going to be there for her. Always.
A promise she had made to a woman who was her friend, and who had started to become something more.
“But it was all based on lies,” she whispered, a shake to her head. But was it all lies? Could someone be that cold and calculating yet weep like she did? When she had first arrived here at the castle, Adara could hear the screams and sobs coming from Louise's room. The sounds of broken glass, the woman who sobbed looking into a broken mirror, the words of hatred toward herself and others leaving her lips and echoing through the hallway.
Over time she saw Louise change. Though she took pride in the fact that she had helped Louise, what she did not only to her but poor Sofia made her angry. Sofia had done nothing wrong, a product of an affair and a secret that a father had tried to hide. That Louise had taken a step further and hid that same secret in this castle was appalling.
Letting out a sigh, her foot went to the gas pedal. Enough heartache and crying had been done within those walls to last a generation. Louise had once told her the castle had many secrets, and they indeed contained secrets, painful dark secrets. Pushing the gas pedal, Adara headed into town, leaving the secrets and heartache behind where they belonged.
***
Once inside the city limits of Palomino, Adara saw a diner called The Pit Stop. She was hungry, so she pulled into the parking lot. There were only a few cars, so she easily found a space and headed inside. It was a typical diner with a long row of stools for single seating in front of a counter, and to her left a few booths. Heading over she took a seat, and a moment later a waitress walked up. She was around fifty years of age, and pulling a pen from behind her ear, she greeted Adara with a smile.
“Do you know what you’re having?”
“Oh, let’s see,” Adara said, her eyes going over the menu. “A cheeseburger, fries, and a Coke, please.”
“An American classic, you can never go wrong with it. Give me ten minutes,” the woman said, taking the menu and hurrying off.
Adara looked around. A man and a woman sat at a booth in front of her, talking nonstop. To her right, a man wearing a flannel jacket sat down. Glancing out the window, her thoughts went back to Louise, wondering what she was doing and how she was feeling.
Memories of taking the ATV out for the first time, launching off the crest of the road, Louise shrieking grabbing onto her breasts.
“Here’s your Coke, honey,” the waitress said, setting the glass in front of her, and then leaving to greet the family of four that just came in. Taking the straw and putting it in the glass, Adara took a sip, her mind wandering back to Louise. She smiled as she played with the straw wrapper, thinking of dinner the night she left. Thomas presenting the ketchup. And the look on Louise's face, the smile, the laughs, it had all been so genuine.
“You look upset. Are you doing OK, hun?” the waitress asked as she set the food down.
Adara smiled. “I am fine.”
“All right then, you can pay me when you’re done,” she said, putting the receipt on the table and walking away. Taking a bite of the cheeseburger, Adara loved the taste of the perfectly cooked burger. Her mind went back to the contract that ended her supposed debt that Louise had prepared. And then her father, who was told days before she found out about Louise's trickery.
Setting her burger down, she grabbed a napkin. Maybe, just maybe, she had truly changed. Adara felt a pulling at her heart, something telling her that perhaps not all was a lie.
“I'm telling you, we get a photo of her, it would be worth a million bucks. And with what her face is rumored to look like, maybe even more.”
Adara clenched her fist, straining to hear more.
The woman in front of her shook her head with a laugh. “All that money and she never leaves that castle. What a kook.”
Reaching into her purse, Adara took out a twenty and set it on the table. Standing up she walked over to the table, her voice shaking with the anger inside her.
“She is not a kook. She is a person who has been deeply hurt on so many levels that you would never understand,” she said, looking at them both. The woman went to speak but Adara cut her off. “Leave her alone. She is not some prize or oddity to track down. She is a wonderful person who is human, just like me or you!”
Hurrying out of the restaurant, she got into the old truck, tears running down her face. Starting the truck, she headed toward the grocery store. Why had she been so angered by their words? Why did she feel the need to defend her? Replaying the scenario that just transpired in her mind, Adara imagined Louise hearing what those people said, the hurt it would cause her, the pain too much for her to handle. Then she would break down, and what scared Adara most of all, was that she would not be there to hold her and comfort her.
***
After already eating a light dinner, Adara walked into the bedroom and opened the side of the suitcase. Pulling out the phone and the ring with the row of diamonds, she returned to the couch. Playing with the ring in her hand, she wiped at a tear, remembering getting the gift. The hug goodbye, and the loneliness she felt leaving the castle for Christmas, much like the loneliness she was feeling now. Slipping the ring on her finger, she laughed, then turned as she heard a car approach.
Hurrying to the door, she opened it, shocked to see one of the dark trucks from Louise's security team pull up just feet from her. The sun was just setting but there was still enough light to see Sofia emerge from the passenger side.
“Sofia!”
Sofia ran up and threw her arms around Adara. “It is good to see you, my friend.”
“It is. What are you doing here? Did you not leave when I did?” Adara asked, happy to see her friend, but confused on why she was here.
“I will explain. Can I come in for a minute?”
“Of course,” she said, looking over at the truck and then heading inside the cabin. “Can I get you a drink or something?”
Sofia turned around as Adara closed the door. “No. I am leaving to see my family tonight. But I came by to talk to you about Louise.”
Adara nodded, but she crossed her arms.
“I did not leave that night you did.”
“She made you stay?”
Adara watched as Sofia shook her head. “No. But I saw her break down and weep. She is truly sorry for the hurt and pain she has caused both of us.”
With a sniff, Adara wiped at her eyes. “But how do you know?”
“Because she is my sister. Because I have seen her cruel side and her manipulation. But also knew what she was like before,” Sofia said. And for the next ten minutes, Sofia explained about how, from that night, she had seen the change in Louise. And as Sofia spoke of her and Louise's men
ding of their relationship, Adara continued to wipe at her eyes.
“I tell you this from my heart, she does not know I am here,” Sofia said.
Adara nodded. “Thank you, I believe you. I have been wondering over the last few days if her change was genuine. I think maybe it is. It still hurts how she got me there though.”
Sofia walked up to her, placing her hand on Adara's shoulder. “I understand. I felt the same, but I love her and have done everything I can to help her. But I am worried, it is why I am here.”
“What is it?” Adara asked, concerned.
“She will not eat. She wastes away, the pain over you is too much for her. I ask for me, would you go see her?”
Adara bit at her lip, thoughts running through her mind. Was it worth going back to see her? Even for just an hour? If it helped her out, perhaps so. But at the same time, would it open up wounds that had slowly begun to heal?
“I must go now. Will you keep in touch?”
“Of course. I love you, my friend,” Adara said, giving Sofia a hug.
“I love you too.” Adara held the door open and Sofia walked out. Stopping in front of the truck, she turned around to face Adara. “I will miss you, my friend.”
“And I you,” Adara said, feeling a sadness weigh down on her. Then with a smile, Sofia got back into the truck. The truck turned around, the red lights from the back bright, until they faded away as they disappeared from sight.
With a sigh, Adara headed back inside the cabin, going to the couch. Grabbing the phone off the coffee table, she held it in her hand. Finding out that Louise was not eating bothered her. Despite the pain Louise had caused Adara, she had to admit she still cared for her, and the thought of anything bad happening to Louise scared her.
When she placed her finger on the screen, it lit up, and then turning the diamonds on the ring on her finger, Adara let out a cry when she saw and heard the image on the screen.
Louise was in the gazebo, weeping and talking out loud to herself. She looked thinner than usual, her face gaunt. As Adara watched, the last bit of anger and hatred for Louise began to crumble, the wall that had been built around her heart collapsing.