by A. D. Ellis
After a week, I started pulling out the big guns. “Nicky, you’ve just got to wake up so that we can talk about those babies for Nate!” I smiled through tears as I whispered this to Nicky while Nate was in the restroom.
The next day, Nicky began breathing over the ventilator and the doctors said his blood work showed the infection was clearing up. The nurses explained that they would slowly decrease his sedation medication and that he’d begin waking up, but it wouldn’t be a quick process.
It was really hard to watch Nicky fight the vent and to see him so confused and scared. Nate and I were right there with him through it all, holding his hand and talking to him, trying to explain what was going on. I was grateful that the nurses were able to keep him fairly comfortable until it was time to take the vent out.
The next day, they took Nicky off the vent and he was awake and alert. His scratchy and hoarse voice didn’t stop him from talking a mile a minute about the ride in the ambulance. It was so good to see him feeling better. The doctors said that if made progress today he could possibly be heading home in a day or two. Leave it to Nicky to have enough gumption to progress well enough to leave first thing the next day.
As Nicky was wheeled out of the hospital toward Nate’s Jeep, it was refreshing to see that he was back to being Nicky. “Nate, I heard you say that you were going to ask Miss Elizabeth to marry you if I got better. Miss Elizabeth you told me you’d have babies for Nate if I got better. I got better so when are you getting married and having babies?”
Nate and I looked at each other over Nick’s head and laughed. “You know, I think Miss Elizabeth and I may be talking about that a little later. Just for you Nicky!”
“REALLY!? REALLY, Nate!? Miss Elizabeth, are you going to marry Nate and be my sister and have babies for him??!” I couldn’t help but giggle at his excitement. Maybe Nate and I did need to talk about that later. For Nicky.
EPILOGUE
Nate
Obviously Libby and I didn’t get married. At least not just for Nicky. We got married for ourselves. About a year after Nicky got out of the hospital. Nicky wasn’t very patient about having to wait, but he would have done anything for his Miss Elizabeth.
The wedding was beautiful. Well, it was beautiful according to Audrey and Libby and my mom and the other women in town. All I can remember of it is seeing Libby walking toward me in her white dress. I smiled to myself as she walked toward me. A long ago memory flitted through my head; right after our first kiss I imagined Libby in a white dress and then later with her belly swollen with our baby. At the time, that thought scared the shit out of me, but with the image of Libby walking towards me, I was excited for those thoughts to come true.
After the wedding, Libby and I bought a little home about halfway between her dad and my parents. Libby has had a grand old time decorating it and making it ours. And, of course, ours means that Nicky is there at least once or twice a week to sleep over. There have been some surprising changes in Nicky’s life. Changes that I would never have predicted, but Libby shared with me that she had once had an inkling of something like this happening. I’ll leave that story for another time; I’m not 100% sure that I’m okay with the changes. It’s almost like a father trying to get used to his child growing up.
Libby and I have been married about a year. I’m proud to say that Libby’s belly is VERY swollen with our baby. It never ceases to amaze me that I put that baby in her belly. Libby isn’t all that happy with me and my “putting a baby in your belly skills” right now. In fact, she’s pretty uncomfortable, but I know she’s excited to meet our baby. We decided to wait until the baby arrives to find out the sex. Speaking of sex, pregnant sex is awesome. I’m just saying.
Libby continues loving her job and being awesome at it. She’ll be taking a leave when the baby arrives. She’s taken a semester leave for now, but she’s not completely sure if she’s going back or not. I don’t know how it will all work. I know she wants nothing more than to be home raising the baby like her mom and my mom were, but I also know that her job at the center is her dream come true, and I don’t know how she’ll feel if she leaves it for good. Right now she’s feeling very comfortable with her sub, a sweet girl named Carly, taking over for her.
Nicky recovered completely from his illness. He was, of course, my best man at our wedding. He was super excited about his role in the wedding. He was asking about the babies and when they would arrive before we had even cut the cake. He had worked really hard on his speech for the reception. Nicky was a microphone hog and would have done anything to keep talking into that thing. His speech was totally perfect and completely Nicky. I’m pretty sure Mom and Dad helped him a little bit, but he delivered it as only Nicky could. “Miss Elizabeth, I love you. Probably not as much as Nate loves you. Maybe. You were my teacher then my friend and now you’re my sister. Nate has always taken care of me and protected me, but he has you to take care of and protect now. And he has to take care of your babies. Nate is the best brother ever and you’re just the best ever. Nate, you don’t have to protect me anymore. Just love Miss Elizabeth as much as I love her. And give her babies!” I had tears in my eyes and a laugh on my lips, as did everyone else, when Nicky finished his speech.
We waited until Libby was well into her second trimester before we told him. We did this for two reasons. We wanted to be sure everything was ok with the baby because it would be too hard to explain to Nicky if something bad happened. The other reason was because we knew he’d drive us insane about the baby’s arrival so waiting that long gave us a bit of a reprieve. Nicky still attends the center. He’s made two new friends. Both of these are strange friendships, but they work. One of his friends has to do with those changes Nicky is experiencing. The other has Nicky, a grown man, being best buds with a little boy at the center named Beckett Jordan. Beckett’s dad, Jeremiah, brings him to our home sometimes to play video games with Nicky. Jeremiah is a great guy and Beckett is an adorable child. I think Nicky connects with Beckett because Beck has a lot of the same difficulties and challenges as Nicky has lived with all of his life.
I finally decided make use of my degree and look for a counseling job. I lucked out and got a job right away. It may have been helpful that my dad is such a well-respected and influential staff member at the middle school and the counselor there was retiring. So, at the start of this school year, I started the first day of what I hoped to be a long, successful, fulfilling career in school counseling. I dream of being admired and respected by the students like my dad always has been. I have my work cut out for me; those are big shoes to fill. I feel blessed that I’ll have my dad around the place for at least 5-10 years before he looks into retirement. So far, I’ve met some awesome 6th, 7th, and 8th graders. I’ve met some rotten ones, too. I’ve heard some stories that made me laugh, some that made me cry, and some that made me feel like that protective big brother itching to fight a bully all over again. My goal as a school counselor is to help kids that are bullied and to help the bullies, too. I do this for the victims, the bullies, and for Nicky.
In the end, I owe it all to Nicky. I’m grateful that I finally gave in to him and met his dear Miss Elizabeth. Many people think that I take care of Nicky and protect him, and I do. But, Nicky has done just as much, if not more, for me. This life has thrown some curve balls, and I’m sure the curves will keep coming, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I’d do it all over again. For Nicky.
THE END
How to Connect with A.D. Ellis
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About the Author
A.D Ellis was born and raised in a small farming town in southern Indiana. An avid reader from the time she learned to read, A.D. could often be found curled up somewhere with her nose in a book. Most of her friends were not such book enthusiasts which earned her a few snickers when she was constantly reading.
A.D. had always dreamed of being a teacher. She earned her degree in Elementary Education from Indiana State University in 1999 and her Master’s Degree from Indiana Wesleyan in 2003. A.D. has been teaching in the inner city of Indianapolis for 15 years. While she’s taught several different grades, fourth grade is her favorite. They are learning independence by 4th grade, but most haven’t learned the attitude yet. A.D. loves teaching fractions, variables, probability, and graphing in Math. She loves almost all aspects of English Language Arts. Figurative language, theme, making predictions, drawing conclusions, inference, context clues, making writing come to life, A.D. loves it all! Her students may not be in agreement with that excitement.
A.D. met her husband in college in 1996 and they married in June of 2000. A.D. lives in a south side suburb of Indianapolis, Indiana with her husband and two school-aged children. When she’s not reading or writing with music blaring, she can be found shopping at thrift stores, reading to her children, and running.
A.D. had always pondered the idea of writing a book, but until recently it was a far off dream. In today’s age of independently published authors, A.D. decided to take a chance and try her hand at writing. She has learned so much during this journey and is having a world of fun with it.
Please connect with A.D. Ellis on Facebook. www.facebook.com/adellisauthor
Author’s Notes
Regarding Nate’s Reaction to Audrey’s Crime
I know that Audrey’s actions were truly a crime and could have been punishable by law. Some readers get angry because Audrey didn’t get into more trouble. Some readers are angry that Nate didn’t respond in a different way. Some readers are mad when Audrey and Nate work through their problems through therapy.
My thoughts on this are that none of us knows exactly how we would respond if we were in that situation. If 100 of us were in the situation Nate was in, there would probably be 100 different emotions and reactions. Nate responded the way Nate responded. We can judge his reaction and be angry, or we can try to understand that Nate is an individual and he had the right to respond in the way he felt most comfortable with.
Torey Hope Education Center
As a teacher, I see students all the time who would thrive in a school setting like the center where Libby works. There are some schools like this, but they are few and far between and more are needed. Not every student is on a college track, but they all need life skills. I know there are different funds used for schools like the one Libby works at. I took “artistic liberties” creating the center in Torey Hope. I’m not sure where the funding for this center comes from, but I know it’s perfect for the students it serves and I hope that more students can find a place like this.
Bullying
According to www.stopbullying.gov “bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior….that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated….” There are three types of bullying according to this site. Physical, verbal, social.
As a teacher of 15 years, I watch bullying occur daily. I do my part to help educate my students about bullying. What it is, some of the reasons it may happen, how to stop it. I especially like to focus on students learning to “take a stand and lend a hand”. Bystanders are almost as bad, and in some cases worse, than the bully. Bystanders just let it happen. Whether the victim is your friend or not, you should always have the common decency to step in and stand up for him.
Bullies usually act out due to something negative in their life. They are being bullied, home life is bad, a past traumatic experience, the list goes on and on. Bullies have no excuse and they should be stopped, but I feel it’s important to realize that the bully almost always has something bad going on with them as well.
The R-word
I have always and will always find the words retard and retarded disgusting, hurtful, unacceptable, and uncalled for. I found a site called www.R-word.org This site explains that the R-word (retard/retarded) “hurts because it’s exclusive. It’s offensive. It’s derogatory.” I hope that Nicky’s story will help to bring awareness about the use of this word. Here are some sites that offer other words and reasons not to use the R-word:
http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Using-the-Word-%22Retarded%22
https://www.aucd.org/template/page.cfm?id=605
http://www.parents.com/blogs/to-the-max/2013/03/06/autism/5-things-people-dont-get-about-the-word-retard/
Male Rape
I didn’t know a lot about male rape when I wrote this book. I knew it was possible and I assumed it happens a lot more than one might think. While it is true that male rape is more often male on male, females raping males does happen. I found this page helpful when looking for research about date rape of males:
http://voices.yahoo.com/sexual-arousal-male-victims-rape-1504019.html
If you are a victim of rape there are many resources out there for you. In regards to male rape victims, here are some sites:
http://www.rainn.org/get-information/types-of-sexual-assault/male-sexual-assault
http://www.aftersilence.org/male-survivors.php
Interventions
There are many reasons for needing to plan an intervention. We see this almost joked about a lot of times, but if a person is truly in need of intervening, it is nothing to be made light of. I found this page helpful when planning the intervention:
http://www.originsrecovery.com/how-to-plan-a-successful-intervention/
Alcohol Recovery
Captain Decker turned to alcohol after his wife died. He suffered with alcoholism most of Libby and Audrey’s tween and teen years. He did eventually get help and he’s in recovery, but an alcoholic is never truly recovered or healed. An alcoholic will be in recovery mode permanently. Alcoholism is a disease and it’s treatable but not curable. If you or someone you love has trouble with alcohol, please seek help:
http://www.aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=1
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
Grief
Captain Decker, Libby, and Audrey would have all benefitted from grief counseling when they lost Lois Decker. If you or someone you love is having a hard time dealing with their grief, please seek help.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/000617
http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-grief
The For Nicky Playlist
Playlist to go along with For Nicky. I have this playlist on Spotify. Feel free to follow me on there (A.d. Ellis Author). Please know that I love music, but I don’t know or care much about the details. I know I like a song, but I don’t usually know or care who the artist is. So, on the list below, if Spotify told me it was by a certain artist, I took their word for it.
Brave by Sara Bareilles
Ho Hey by The Lumineers
Beneath Your Beautiful by Labrinth
Let Her Go by Passenger
A Thousand Years by Christina Perri
Say Something by A Great Big World
All of Me by John Legend
Reach for Me by Kirsty Hawkshaw
Only Teardrops by Emmelie De Forest
Apologize by One Republic
Fine By Me by Andy Grammer
I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz
In Your Arms by Kina Grannis
Never Stop by SafetySuit
Me Without You by Loick Essien
You Should Know
Better by Andy Grammer
Use Somebody by Kings of Leon
I Can’t Wait by Runner Runner
Amazing by Danny Saucedo
Take My Lips by Ferras
Better With You by Kris Allen
Out of My League by TJ McCloud
I Will Wait by Mumford and Sons
Machinehead by Bush (this is totally the song that goes along with Nate when he’s so angry and fighting everyone who bothers Nicky! Thanks to my cousin for the suggestion!)
Animals by Martin Garrix (the song Nate and Libby dance to in the club)
CINDY MORGAN’S BANANA CAKE RECIPE
(Ok, it’s actually the author’s mom’s recipe, but Cindy can borrow it!)
BANANA CREAM BARS
Makes 50 bars.
1/2 c butter, softened
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 large eggs
2 tsp vanilla extract
3/4 cup sour cream
2 large or 3 medium ripe bananas, mashed
2 cups all purpose flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
Cream butter and sugar together, add unbeaten eggs and beat thoroughly. Add vanilla and sour cream, mix well. Add the flour, salt and soda alternately with the mashed bananas, and mix until well blended.
Put into a greased 15 x 10 x 1 pan and bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes. cool.
FROSTING
3 oz cream cheese, softened
6 TBS butter, softened
1 TBS milk
1 tsp vanilla extract