A Torey Hope Novel Series: The Complete 4-Book Box Set

by A. D. Ellis

  While Beckett sat completely still, patiently letting the stylist spray, comb, and cut his hair, Nick shuffled a bit on his feet as if he was nervous. Jeremiah glanced at him, “Nick, you okay there, bud?” Nick’s deer-in-the-headlights expression amused him, but Jeremiah was getting truly concerned. “What’s up, Nick? Is something wrong?”

  Nick hung his head. “I’m sorry Mr. Jordan, I lied to Beckett and lying is wrong.” Jeremiah started to correct him and tell him to call him by his first name, but then he realized that Nick was usually just more comfortable calling other adults by Miss or Mr. until he really got to know them. Jeremiah silently sighed and chuckled at how it made him feel like he was talking to a peer of Beck’s instead of a man close to his own age.

  “What did you lie about, Nick?” Jeremiah had a bit of an idea, but he felt like the other man needed to talk this one out.

  “I lied and told Beckett I was scared of haircuts and asked if he could show me how to be brave. I’m not really scared of haircuts, Mr. Jordan, and I shouldn’t have lied to him. I’m sorry.” Jeremiah felt torn; on one hand, Nick HAD lied and he couldn’t very well tell him it was okay because Nick would be confused to hear that lying was ok. On the other hand, Nick’s little white lie had save him a ton of grief with Beck’s hair, so he wasn’t sure it was a bad thing.

  Before he got the chance to answer, Beck came running over and offered Nick one of the two suckers he’d gotten from his stylist. Nicky picked Beck up and whispered into his ear. Jeremiah watched closely as Beck frowned a little then nodded his head. In complete and total sincerity, the little boy cupped Nick’s cheek and put his forehead against Nick’s. In a serious voice Beck whispered, “You should never lie, Nick. But, you didn’t lie to hurt me or anyone else. You only lied to help me see that haircuts aren’t scary. So, I will forgive you for this one lie but you have to promise you’ll never lie to me again.” Nick breathed a sigh of relief and nodded his head before hugging the child and placing him back on the ground. Jeremiah was beyond speechless at the touching scene he’d just been privy to.

  After paying, the three of them headed out to the Bronco. Nicky had gotten very good at getting Beckett strapped into his car seat so he was helping with that task when Jeremiah’s phone buzzed. Standing outside of the truck, Jeremiah felt his knees weaken and his stomach churn when he saw it was Shelly texting.

  Shelly: Jeremiah, I’ve warned you that I want to see our son. If you continue ignoring me, you’ll be sorry. I will see him and spend time with him, or you will pay me to stay away. Since I’ve not seen any money, I’m assuming you’re ok with me seeing him. It will happen.

  “What’s wrong, Daddy?” The sweet voice pulled him out of the muck called Shelly which had descended around his mind.

  “Not a thing, Beck, let’s get back to your party.” Jeremiah’s eyes resisted looking at Nicky; the other man shook his head and whispered, “You shouldn’t lie, Mr. Jordan.” How could he explain to Nicky that sometimes a lie wasn’t the worst thing in the world if it meant saving his baby boy from the monster that was his mother?

  ***********

  He had held himself together fairly well with all that he’d seen overseas. He hadn’t broken down when Shelly cheated on him over and over. There hadn’t been a tear shed when the mother of his child walked away from them without a backwards glance. But, today, at a dinosaur themed birthday party for his son, Jeremiah Jordan caught himself holding back tears more than once or twice throughout the event. There had been more trips into the kitchen than necessary so that he could take some deep breaths and compose himself.

  The day had turned out perfect. The weather was completely cooperating. Nate was manning the grill like a master; Libby was her usual friendly self. The Jordans, the Morgans, and Captain Decker were all getting along wonderfully; it seemed they all were happy to have some new friends about their age. Audrey’s plans for games and crafts had gone off without a hitch; the children were now all drawing with sidewalk chalk on the driveway while the food was having the finishing touches added. Jeremiah stood at the glass front door taking in the scene before him: a handful of 4-year-olds, a grown man sitting in the middle of them all, drawing dinosaurs and laughing. His chest swelled with pride and a rush of emotions as he watched Beckett draw and laugh and clown around. Four years ago he’d felt the pain of letting his baby go into numerous surgeries and tests. He had listened to doctors spout off about the challenges that Beck would face; there was no guarantee that the baby would thrive physically or intellectually. Yet, here he was, observing a true miracle. Yes, Beck faced a lot of obstacles in the past and there would be more in the future, but the gains he had made were almost unbelievable. Would school be hard for him? Possibly. But, the child was definitely smart. Would he ever be a sports star? Maybe not, but Jeremiah wouldn’t put even that past the boy. Four years ago, sitting in those bleak hospital waiting rooms, talking to doctors, holding his baby through the night while he was hooked to numerous machines, he honestly didn’t know if they would ever reach this day. But, they had made it and Beckett was having a blast at his birthday party. The day had turned out just like Jeremiah had dreamed it would.

  “You’ve got a pretty awesome little boy there, JJ.” A soft voice spoke from behind him as slim arms came around his waist and a cheek laid against his back. “He sure is lucky to have such a great daddy. How are you holding up?” As if she knew he’d been struggling with emotions today, Audrey seemed to know just what to say.

  Gritting his teeth and taking a deep breath, he turned to her, his voice gruff with emotion. “I didn’t know if I’d ever see this day, but here we are. Thank you, you helped to make this day exactly what I wanted for him.” His eyes were shiny with tears as his hand cupped the back of her head and lowered his lips to hers. The kiss was soft but held the promise of so much more.

  Before he could wrap his arms around her, a throat cleared from the kitchen and Nate tried to speak without giving away the amusement in his voice. “Sorry guys, but the food is ready and I think the kids are about ready to start eating the chalk if we don’t feed them soon. Libby is getting them all washed up and seated at the table.”

  As Nate left the house to serve up food, Jeremiah pulled Audrey back towards him when she would have walked away to help outside. “Nuh-uh, Angel, I wasn’t done. I need another taste of you before I let you go.” This time his mouth was firmer, his tongue dancing with hers, and his hands gripping her bottom to pull her against him. Audrey let out a frustrated sigh when she felt the evidence of just how much he wanted her. “Next time, Sweets, we won’t be stopping. There will be nowhere to be, no one around, nothing in the way. And I’ll taste a lot more than that pretty little mouth of yours.”

  ***********

  Later that night, after tucking a very tired yet extremely satisfied and happy little boy into bed, Jeremiah enjoyed a beer on the patio with his parents. Jack told him that the lawyer he’d contacted was in the process of contacting Shelly’s lawyer and they’d been advised to continue ignoring her threats. Jeremiah didn’t like having to sit back and wait, but there wasn’t much he could do about it right now. He didn’t have the money to pay her off and responding to her threats would just open him up to more issues. For now, he’d take the advice of his legal counsel.

  After his parents headed home, he picked up the remaining trash from the party and cleaned up the kitchen a little bit. A quick shower and he was almost ready for bed, but he headed in to check on Beck as he did most nights. Sitting gently on the edge of the bed, he stroked the child’s face and let the tears come. “Beckett, buddy, I love you to the moon and back. I will protect you with everything I have, forever. I’m so blessed to be your daddy.” A soft kiss on his son’s forehead and he headed to his own room.

  As was normal lately, a pretty blonde was on his mind. He needed to plan a date with her, but he also had a bigger plan in mind. A quick text to Libby got him a couple answers he needed. One, Audrey loved the quaint little Italian p
lace in Torey Hope. Two, her birthday was next week. Shit, that didn’t give him nearly the time to plan like he’d hoped to have, but he’d make it work. He smirked at the about-face he’d made in the relationship department; how did one go from being absolutely against getting into a relationship ever again to planning dates and romantic gestures? He thought back to the words that Beckett had spoken; he didn’t want to see Beck or himself hurt, but the child was right about forgiveness and chances.

  Chapter 25

  Audrey

  My phone pinged while I was in between tasks this morning. First, I was trying to get the perfect location for a Sweet 16 party booked; second, I was helping an elderly woman plan the menu for her Fifty Year Class Reunion. The lady was concerned about a lot of the foods, claiming that many of the attendees wouldn’t have their real teeth anymore. I was shocked that there were high school reunions happening after fifty years.

  I took a break and checked the text on my phone. The name automatically brought a smile to my face.

  Jeremiah: Hiya, Sweets. So, about this date. Can I pick you up at 7 tonight? Dress up a bit. Beck is staying at my parents’ tonight for a sleepover, so pack a bag. I don’t plan on letting you out of my bed for a very long time. <3 JJ

  My heart soared. Sweets, JJ? Silly little nicknames, but they touched something in me. A date! Not just a quick hook-up. I’m not sure I’d call anything I’ve ever been on an actual date. I meet guys somewhere with the sole purpose of getting laid. Sometimes it was in the restroom of a dirty bar; sometimes I’d meet them at a sleazy hotel on the outskirts of town, sometimes it was on my kitchen floor. This was so wrong, I was so wrong for Jeremiah. Yes, the sex had been amazing and the build-up to round two was crazy, but I am a recovering sex addict. I will admit that I’ve been doing quite well ever since my first interaction with Jeremiah, but I also have to be honest and admit that there hasn’t been anything bad going on in my life. I usually turn to sex to control things when they go wrong, nothing had been going wrong since meeting Jeremiah. So, yeah, I was doing well NOW, but what happens when something goes awry? I can’t do that to Jeremiah. I can’t do that to Beckett.

  When my phone pinged again, I realized I’d been lost in thought for several minutes. My eyes filled with tears as I knew I’d have to take a step back from him in order to protect him and Beckett.

  Jeremiah: Angel? You there? 7:00 tonight, ok?

  I decided I’d ignore him for just a bit. I needed to figure out what I was going to say to him. He was going to be pissed, but I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting him and, with my past, there’s no way I’d do anything but hurt him. He needed to find the perfect girl to settle down with and play house with; he didn’t need a recovering addict with such a dirty past.

  I texted Dr. Xander and he told me to come on by. Luckily, I had my car back. The students at The Center had done a great job on it and Scott had returned it to me along with a bill that I would hopefully have paid after these next two parties.

  Upon arriving to speak to Dr. X, I got another text from Jeremiah.

  Jeremiah: Audrey, I’m hoping you’re just really busy, but I’m getting a bad feeling that you’re second-guessing this, us. Don’t do that, Angel. Our pasts are in our pasts; let’s see what our futures may hold. I don’t care about your past, I only care about the YOU that I know NOW. I’ll be there at 7. <3 JJ

  “So, Audrey, what’s going on?” Dr. Xander spoke softly and then waited on me to speak. I took a deep breath and didn’t even try to sort out my thoughts; I just let them spill out.

  “Jeremiah is great, I really like him. It’s not just about sex; I enjoy spending time with him and his son. We’ve not even had sex again since that first time, but we will, soon. I just can’t stop thinking about how dirty my past is and how I don’t want to taint him and his son with all of it. I feel like I’m not good enough to be in his life, I feel like he deserves so much better than me. I love his little boy to pieces. ME, the girl who couldn’t even be around a person with disabilities, I’m head-over-heels with that little boy, challenges and all. What if I hurt him along with hurting his dad?” I felt deflated after the words rushed out of me. I sat back and waited for Dr. X to speak. As usual, he sat silently, waiting while he processed all that I said. He made a couple notes and then looked directly at me.

  “What does Jeremiah say about all of this?” That wasn’t what I was expecting. I expected some long answer to all of my troubles. I was thrown off-kilter.

  “What? Well, he says that we all have pasts and that he doesn’t care about my past, he just cares about the me he knows now. He wants us to take a chance and see where it goes. But, Dr. X, he doesn’t know all of the dirt on me. If he ever found out how messed up I really am, he’d never want to keep me in his life. So, isn’t it better that we end this now?” I was practically pleading with the doctor to give me the go-ahead to take the easy out. And he knew it; Dr. X has always been great at seeing through my bullshit.

  “Audrey, I would never force you into something, so this decision is all yours. But, let me ask you this. If you found out, right now, something equally bad about Jeremiah, would you kick him to the curb?”

  When I vehemently protested, “Never, I know he’s a good man, his past doesn’t matter to me at all. I mean, heck, he’s got a psycho ex-wife and that doesn’t even bother me because I know the type of person he is and I enjoy spending time with him. It wouldn’t matter to me at all. I mean, if he killed someone, maybe. But, even then, I’d give him the benefit of the doubt until he proved to me that he wasn’t as good as I know him to be.”

  Dr. X sat still, cocked his head to the side, and pierced me with his intense green eyes. Damn him and his stupid Jedi mind tricks; he totally just played me.

  “Ok, ok, I get what you’re saying. I get what Jeremiah’s saying. So, I guess it’s just time to admit to you, you shithead, that I’m fucking scared, ok?? I’m scared of what happens if we get more serious. I’m scared of what happens because I’ve never done this before.” I appreciated that Dr. Xander didn’t even flinch at my little outburst. I don’t know if he has this type of relationship with his other patients, but I’ve always been grateful that I can speak freely with him.

  “Audrey, it’s normal to be scared. I’d be more worried about you if you weren’t scared of this. You’ve never had a real relationship, so this is expected. It sounds like, from what you’ve shared, that Jeremiah is possibly in pretty new territory here too. He has an ex-wife but it sounds as if their relationship wasn’t all that normal and you say he’s not dated much, if at all, since his son was born. Maybe you two could just take it slow, see where it goes, and be scared together? My prescription to you is this, go on your date, have fun. If sex comes, just enjoy it. Try not to read too much into it. But, that’s just my professional, very knowledgeable advice.” Dr. X said this with a sarcastic smirk, knowing that I don’t like to take his advice if it goes against my feelings.

  “Fine, smart ass. I’ll go on the freaking date. Thanks for squeezing me in. I appreciate it.” I gathered my belongings and headed to my car. I guess I have a date to get ready for.

  Upon arriving at my place, I saw a very sexy, dark haired man leaning against an equally sexy old Bronco. I must truly have it bad to find a truck sexy, but it just fits him so well. It was only 2 pm, why was he here? I was about to find out; he was striding towards me with a definite purpose.

  “Angel, please don’t do this. Please don’t run when you get scared. I’m scared, too, baby. I’ve never done this; I swore I never even wanted this. I wanted to protect my son and myself, but now I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Please don’t pull away.” His hands had grasped mine and pulled them up to his chest. Leaning in, he placed a soft kiss on my forehead, and just breathed me in. “Please.”

  That last word was my undoing, I lifted my face to his and my hands traveled up to entwine in his beautifully dark hair. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re right, I was running. But, I too
k a pit stop and talked to someone whose opinion I trust, and I’m not running. I’m scared to death, but if we can be scared together, I’m willing to keep seeing where this goes.” With that, I pulled his mouth down to mine and let him devour me. This kiss, this kiss was filled with promise and desperation and fear and hope. When we broke apart, both breathing heavily, he said, “I’m going to go now. I’ll be back at 7 pm. Remember, pack a bag, Sweets.” He winked as he backed away from me and climbed in the Bronco.

  I headed over to The Center to make some of the hours between now and our date pass more quickly. I was thrilled to find Beth there doing crafts and story time with the three and four-year-olds.

  “Miss Audrey!” A sweet little voice called out when I got closer to the story-time group. I made a shhh sign on my lips and sat down, pulling Beckett into my lap. He snuggled in and listened to the rest of the story.

  While he was making his craft, along with about 5 other children, I spoke softly to Beth. “I’m just scared, Beth, I don’t know what’s going to happen. But, I’m also just completely giddy at the thought of spending time with him. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I just don’t want to mess it up.”

  Beth, insightful, forgiving, caring sister that she is, hugged me and told me that it will all be ok. “Just let things happen. I doubt a few dates are going to be the end of the world. Get to know each other a little more, see where you are after a few more dates. Take it from there. But, I’ve had very little experience in this area, so take my advice with a grain of salt,” she laughed a bit as she spoke.

  “No, your advice matches with Dr. Xander’s advice and with what Jeremiah says. I think even Nate spoke to JJ about us. Heck, even Beck wants us together.” I shook my head as I said this, still amazed that sex-addict, bully, mean-girl Audrey is getting ready for a date with a gorgeous, kind-hearted, wonderful single dad. Unbelievable.