“For what?”
“For hurting you.”
Demi kissed his mate’s neck, smiling when Reed shivered. “I’m fine. They’re just scratches.”
“It didn’t look like it to me.”
“I swear they are. I’ve had worse while gardening, especially when I work with roses.”
“Can I... can I see?”
“Sure, but I want you to promise me something first.”
“What?”
“Don’t freak out. I’m really fine, you didn’t do anything on purpose, and I’m not angry with you or anything, okay?”
Reed huffed and Demi was glad to see him almost back to normal. Well, to what Demi thought was his normal.
“Yeah, okay. I promise, but only if you let me tend to the bleeding wounds.”
“Tend? There’s nothing to tend.”
“I saw blood. You told me some were bleeding.”
“But you don’t need to tend to them. They’re only scratches!”
Reed crossed his arms on his chest. “Don’t care. You promise, I promise.”
“Okay, fine. You can tend to my war wounds.”
“And I promise I’ll do my best to... keep the guilt away.”
Reed slowly turned around in Demi’s lap. He looked at Demi, then grabbed the bottom of his sweater and started pulling it up.
* * * *
Reed finished pulling Demi’s sweater up and threw it to the side. He examined Demi’s chest, concentrating on the scratches he’d left on the pale skin, but he was distracted by the green swirls that covered a lot of it.
He traced one with his fingers, following its lines until he reached a scratch. It wasn’t big, barely breaking the skin, but the one under it had bled a bit and the blood was smeared on Demi’s skin.
Reed felt guilty, even if he’d promised he wouldn’t. Demi seemed to sense it because he took the hand Reed had used to touch him and kissed the knuckles. “What happened?” he asked softly.
Reed shrugged and kept his eyes down. “Nightmare.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
In his mind Reed could hear Gentry telling him that he needed to, but he wasn’t ready, not to tell Demi. He shook his head and Demi kissed his forehead.
“I understand, but... are they always that bad?”
“Pretty much.”
“I had the hardest time trying to wake you up. You only woke when you smelled me.”
Reed looked up, frowning. “Is that why you were bare-chested?”
“Yeah. I couldn’t wake you, and I thought that maybe if you smelled your mate you’d snap out of it. It worked.”
“And I practically mauled you to death.”
Demi snorted. “Please. You couldn’t hurt me even if you tried.”
Reed splayed his free hand on Demi’s chest, on top of the scratches. He didn’t miss the way Demi tensed and hissed a bit when he touched the bloody ones, but Demi didn’t say anything. “This says otherwise.”
Demi sighed heavily. “I thought we’d already been over that. You have nothing to feel guilty about, okay? They’re just scratches, I’m fine, and it barely hurts. Of course, if you want to kiss them better, I won’t protest.”
The last sentence was obviously Demi’s way to try to lighten the mood, but Reed found it more intriguing than funny. He leaned forward and kissed Demi’s collar bone, smiling at Demi’s sharp intake of breath.
“What are you doing?” he asked in a strangled voice.
“Kissing it better. Wasn’t that what you wanted?”
“I was joking.”
Reed looked up and smirked. “So you don’t want me to kiss it?”
“I never said that. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to because I mentioned it.”
“I know I don’t have to. I just want to kiss you.” Reed nibbled on his lower lip. “Is that okay?”
“Yeah. Do your worst.”
He smirked again and leaned back down. He kissed the edge of one of the scratches and slid his lips along its length, then repeated with another one. When he reached the bloody one he hesitated, then flicked his tongue out and licked the blood off.
Demi swore and buried a hand in Reed’s long hair. Reed waited, but Demi didn’t push him away, so he licked at the scratch again.
“Isn’t that... going to bond us or something?” Demi asked, his voice hitching.
“No. It takes a lot more blood to bond. That’s why we bite.”
“Uh, okay.”
There really wasn’t that much blood on Demi’s chest, and Reed lapped it all up. He leaned backward when he was done and examined the scratches. They were a little puffy and reddened, but Demi was right—they were nothing but scratches.
Demi used his hold on Reed to gently pull him forward and kissed him. Reed hadn’t been expecting it and he gasped, both in surprise and pleasure. Demi didn’t take advantage of it, though. He just slid their lip together, ignoring the way Reed’s mouth had opened.
Reed smiled into the kiss and flicked his tongue out, just like when he’d licked the blood. He traced Demi’s bottom lip and felt him smile back, then a slick tongue was touching his and Reed mostly stopped thinking and concentrated on the kiss.
Demi kept it soft and gentle in the beginning, but the careful way Demi handled Reed and his taste seemed to have unlocked something in Reed. He knew he could trust his mate—that Demi wouldn’t intentionally hurt him, and he wanted more.
Reed wanted to be able to trust Demi, to trust his friends and finally put everything behind him. He knew it wasn’t something that would happen quickly, but he felt finding and trusting his mate enough to let Demi touch him and kiss him was a huge step forward.
Reed deepened the kiss and reveled in something he hadn’t done and felt for way too long. He clutched at Demi’s naked shoulders, loving the small sounds that escaped his mate when Reed touched his skin.
“Hey, we heard some—oh shit, sorry!”
Reed started laughing. He knew he had to look like a crazy person, but his emotions were all over the place, and Noah’s reaction had triggered the explosion.
“Is he okay?” Reed heard Noah ask.
“I think so. He had a bit of a nightmare, so he’s still tense, but he’ll be fine,” Demi answered. Reed pressed his face against Demi’s neck and bit his lower lip hard. Pain flared and the laughter became just a few giggles every now and then.
“He sure didn’t look tense when I came in,” Noah teased.
Demi smoothed a hand down Reed’s clothed back. “I have nothing to tell you.”
“Oh, come on.”
“Noah, you saw everything that happened. Trust you to come in right when you shouldn’t have.”
“Hey, I could have come after the kiss evolved to more! Oh, ugh, I’d rather not think about finding the two of you like that, though.”
Reed turned his face sideways and stole a glance at Noah. The man was still standing over them, a grimace on his face. His hair was tangled around his face, the dark blue a stark contrast against his sleepy face. “Like Demi said, I’m fine. It’s just been a trying few days.”
Noah smiled gently. “I can understand that. I’m sorry I, uh, interrupted. I didn’t mean to.”
Reed straightened. “It’s okay.”
“Duncan took care of the food in the kitchen.”
Demi swore. “Damn, I forgot I’d started breakfast. Did anything burn?”
“No. We actually heard the noise and came to check, so we found it. Breakfast’s ready if you want to eat.” With that Noah turned and left the living room.
Reed squirmed on Demi’s lap, suddenly a bit uncomfortable. “We better go, huh?”
“Yeah. We wouldn’t want Noah to come and look for us again.”
He helped Reed to get up and snatched his sweater from the floor. Reed watched as Demi untangled his T-shirt from his sweater and put them both back on. He then turned to Reed and took
his hand. Reed followed Demi out of the living room, but they didn’t go to the kitchen. Demi took Reed through his room and into his bathroom instead.
“Why are we here?”
“My scratches might be nothing, but the ones you managed to do to yourself aren’t.”
Reed frowned and raised a hand. He touched his neck and pain flared.
“It hurts.”
“I bet it does.”
It wasn’t the first time Reed had hurt himself during a nightmare, but it was the first time someone was there to take care of him afterward. It lit something warm in his chest, and he let Demi guide him to sit on the closed toilet.
Demi left the bathroom and Reed huddled on his seat. He brought his legs up and hugged then, then pressed his chin on his knees and tried to make sense of the conflicting emotions passing through him.
He decided to ignore the ones he didn’t like as well as he could, because he didn’t want to be angry or mistrusting at the moment. There wasn’t a reason to be, and he knew it, but it wasn’t as easy as it sounded.
Demi came in soon after, carrying a T-shirt and stuff to clean up Reed’s wounds. He put everything on the counter and faced Reed. “Can you take your T-shirt off?”
Reed put his legs down and complied. He fingered the now tattered collar. “I’m sorry I ruined your shirt.”
“It’s okay.”
“I’ll buy you another one.”
“You don’t have to. It’s only a T-shirt.”
Reed hissed when Demi cleaned the scratches. They sure felt deep, and he wondered how in hell it was possible that he hadn’t woken himself up making them in his nightmare.
“I brought you a clean shirt.”
“That’s two of yours. I’ll be more careful with this one.”
Demi caught Reed’s face with his hands when Reed’s head popped out of the T-shirt collar. He kissed Reed’s nose, then his lips. “I don’t care how many of my shirts you use. They’re only shirts. I just want you to be fine, and I’ll do whatever I can to help.”
Reed smiled softly. “I’m getting there, Demi, and you’re helping more than you think.”
Chapter Four
“Do you want to come with me to the nursery?”
Reed looked up from the thick book he was reading and blinked at Demi. He was so cute Demi wanted nothing more than to pull him forward and kiss him until he was breathless. He didn’t, because even though a month had passed since Demi had moved in with Noah, he was still tiptoeing around Reed. Not that Reed wanted him to, but with his mood swings and his almost constant vigilance when he wasn’t in his room, it wasn’t easy to get close to him, either physically or emotionally.
“Nursery?”
“I meant the garden center.”
Reed looked at his book, then back up at Demi, and snapped the book close. “All right.”
“Do we need to, I don’t know, take any particular precautions?”
Reed scowled. “I’m not sick or crazy.”
Reed sighed. The last thing he wanted was to make Reed angry. “I know that. I just want to be sure you’ll be fine.”
“I don’t need you to coddle me!”
Demi raised his hands in surrender. “I know. Sorry. I’ll just... go.”
He turned to leave and made it to the door before a hand on his arm stopped him. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
It was hard. Demi knew Reed didn’t mean to snap and yell, but he still did it, and it made Demi’s life hard. Still, he wasn’t about to throw it back in Reed’s face.
He turned and took the hand that had been on his arm in his. “It’s okay.”
Reed shook his head. “It’s not. Sometimes I wonder why you put up with me. You’ve been here a month and we haven’t done anything more than kissing, I’ve yelled at you time and time again, and I know you know I’ve been keeping some distance between us.”
Demi pulled Reed in his arms and hugged him tight. He felt Reed relaxing against his chest, his weight suddenly for Demi to hold up. He kissed the top of Reed’s head, inhaling the smell of Reed’s coconut shampoo. “I put up with you because I like you.”
Reed snorted into Demi’s chest. “How can you like me? Sometimes even I don’t like myself.”
Demi wound Reed’s hair around one of his hands and pulled until Reed was looking up at him. “I see you, Reed. I see under the shell you’ve built around you, under the PTSD. I won’t deny it’s hard, but it’s worth it. You’re worth it. Now, do you want to come with me or not?”
“Yes.”
“Will you be comfortable enough?”
“I think so. It’s not... I can’t really predict this, Demi.”
“I know. But I’ll be there, and I’ll bring you home right away if you ask me to.”
Home. Demi couldn’t deny he’d started to think of Noah’s house as home, and he wasn’t sure what to make of it. He hadn’t seen his father ever since he’d arrived, even if they did talk on the phone at least once a week. Demi missed him, but there was something freeing about being in Gillham, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to give it up.
It wasn’t only being close to Reed, or Noah. Here no one looked at Demi like he was inferior, like he wasn’t worth much. No one ordered him around, and no one expected him to bow down. The only thing missing was his father, and he couldn’t deny he’d thought about asking him to move in Gillham more than once.
Demi knew it wouldn’t be an easy thing to do, but he was confident he could do it. Not on the phone, though, so he’d have to go back home for a while, if anything else to pack his things.
“What do you need from the nursery anyway? We’re in the middle of the forest,” Reed pointed out.
Demi kissed him and let him go. “Kameron said I could plant things if I wanted to.”
“But it’s January. What can you plant in January?”
“Nothing for now, but I want to see how equipped they are. I’m thinking about building a greenhouse, and I’ll need supplies.”
Demi walked out of Kameron’s front door and climbed down the porch stairs only to realize Reed wasn’t following him. “Reed? Everything okay? Do you want to stay here?”
Reed appeared at the door, his cheeks a bit flushed. He closed the door and came to stand by Demi. “I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
Demi waited until they were in the car, driving away, to try to push a bit. He wouldn’t insist too much, but he needed Reed to open himself up a bit. It was always a hardship to get him to talk about anything—his family, his life in Florida, what he wanted for the future. Demi hadn’t even tried to talk about Reed’s time in the lab, because he knew it wouldn’t bring anything but frustration and anger, to both of them.
“Are you going to tell me what that was about?”
“Do I really have to?”
“No, of course not, but I’d like to know.”
“It’s just that you talked about building a greenhouse.”
Demi waited but nothing more came. “So? You don’t like greenhouses?”
Reed slapped Demi’s arm. “Don’t be stupid.”
Demi took a turn and peeked at his mate. “Talk to me, Reed.”
“It sounds... permanent. Like you’ve already decided to stay.”
Demi was confused. “Isn’t that what you want?”
“Of course I do.”
“What’s the problem, then?”
“There isn’t any problem. I was just surprised. I didn’t think you’d thought about staying.”
“Of course I have. I love it here, and not only because you’re with me.” He’d explained how things worked in his town to Reed, so he knew how Demi and his father were treated.
“So it’s official?”
“Not yet, no. I haven’t talked with Kameron, and I can’t live with Noah and Duncan forever. I’ll have to find a house, and I don’t know if there are many
of those in pack territory. But it’s not like I can rent an apartment in town, so...”
“Do you want us to live together?” Reed rushed the words out.
Demi looked at him sideways, loving how flustered Reed was. “Do you?”
“I asked you first!”
“Okay, okay. I can’t say I didn’t think about it, but I’m not sure we’re there yet. But I will keep it in mind when I ask Kameron about a house, if that’s what you wanted to know.”
Demi parked in the nursery packing lot, turned the car off and turned to face his mate. Reed had a blank look on his face, something Demi had learned to associate with Reed having problems dealing with too many emotions. He pulled his mate as close as he could in the little space they had and shushed him as he stroked his back.
“Look, I want us to live together one day, in the future, when you’re ready. It doesn’t have to be tomorrow, or next month, or even this year. But I still want to make sure the house will be big enough that we can both call it home someday. That’s all. No pressure. Okay?”
Reed nodded against Demi’s chest. “Yeah, okay. Sorry.” He moved away and smiled ruefully. “I know I’m making a mountain out of nothing. Sorry.”
“Don’t be. Ready to go?”
Reed nodded and they climbed out of the car. “Will you build the greenhouse at your—our house?”
Demi smiled, delighted at the slip of Reed’s tongue. “Yeah. I want to breed roses.”
“That sounds cool, although I have no idea what it means exactly.”
“Just that I want to create hybrid roses.” He launched into an explanation of how it worked, stopping only once they stepped inside the nursery. Reed was looking a little lost and Demi realized he’d been talking his mate’s ear off about something he probably didn’t care about. “Sorry.”
Reed waved his worry away. “It’s okay. It’s nice to see you so passionate about something. I haven’t been in a long time.”
“What did you like to do? Before?”
“I worked, mostly. I was a civil rights lawyer, and it didn’t leave me much time to do anything else, but I liked it, so it was okay.”
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