“You know I don’t. You’re family.” She reached forward and placed her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry, too.”
“What for?” There was nothing she should be sorry for. He was the guilty party here, not her.
“I should have come to see you at the hospital…” Tears swam in her eyes and she glanced at the gravestone. “Losing him…it was just too much. I had to get away. My father passed away a few years ago, leaving me my childhood home. Without thinking about anyone else, I packed up what I could in the car and took off. I couldn’t even go back to get our stuff, but thankfully our friends rallied together and everything arrived a few weeks later.”
“You had to do what was best for you and Johnny. Trust me when I say that I wasn’t in the best frame of mind then. A visit then wouldn’t have done either of us any good, but we can make up for it now.”
“This place is good for us. It’s not like it was when he was alive but I’m making the best of things for Johnny’s sake. My baby sister lives here so she’s helping with Johnny, and there’s other family.”
He nodded. “It sounds like you’re doing okay. I’d like to play a part in Johnny’s life if you’ll allow it. I mean maybe my injuries…”
“Uncle Kyle is always welcome. He loves you and misses you.”
Relieved, he smiled. That little boy meant a lot to him and though he had distanced himself before he suddenly wanted to make up for lost time. “I’m married now and we have a ranch in Kentucky. Maybe you two would come for a visit. I’m sure he’d like the horses.”
“As for the ranch I don’t know…horses? He’s such a little boy…” She stepped back and eyed him. “I didn’t even notice until you mentioned the ranch. I guess I was so caught up in seeing you here, but you’ve changed. Look at you. Your wife has turned you into a cowboy.”
“Surprising I know, but it suits me.” He smirked. “I never thought I’d find something I enjoyed doing after the Marines, but it’s kind of amazing. Staci, my wife, always dreamed of owning a ranch her father worked at. She got her dream and I got her. It all worked out. Plus she’s doing something amazing with the place. We opened a healing retreat there—United Homefront—focused on vets. She graduated with her physical therapy degree right around the time we bought the ranch, so she’s doing that there. Her best friend Heather is a therapist so she’s on staff as well.”
“Sounds like you’re doing your part to make the world better.”
“Just like you.” He nodded to her quilted bag that was made from Weber’s old uniform. “I’ve been following what you’ve been doing. Sewn with Love. It’s great.”
“It’s something small that maybe will bring closure to someone.” She reached up and ran her hands over Weber’s dog tags that she wore around her neck. His wedding band strung along the chain to lie next to the tags. “Sounds silly but when I put these on, they made me feel closer to him, and even now I can’t bring myself to take them off. Johnny is so young but I found him curled up with one of his father’s shirts. It’s what gave me the idea. I turned a few of them into a blanket and to this day, Johnny is nearly inseparable from it. I never expected it to turn into a business, especially not like it is. I have more requests than I could have imagined. My sister put in her notice at her job to help. Even with the two of us, we have more than we can handle, but I can’t turn people away. Not when I know how much that’s helped Johnny.”
“Have you thought about hiring someone else?”
“I have, but it needs to be the right person. Someone who cares about what we’re doing as much as I do. Not someone who just needs a job.” She dropped her grasp on the dog tags. “Come on, let’s go see Johnny.”
He glanced back to where his rental car was parked but there wasn’t another vehicle to be seen. “Where’s your car?”
“Actually, I walked, I just live through those woods. There’s a small path. I’ll ride with you to show you the way, so you don’t have to trek back through to your car.” She pressed her fingers to her lips, kissing them, before pressing them to the gravestone. “My love, I’ll be back later.”
“I can give you a few minutes.”
She shook her head; her brown hair waved around until she brushed it back behind her shoulders again. “No, it’s fine. It might sound crazy to you but I’ll be back. I normally come over twice a day.”
“Twice?” He did his best to keep the surprise out of his voice but he doubted he was able to completely, though if she caught it she ignored it.
“It’s better than before. Actually, I’m not normally here at this time of day. I come early in the morning before Johnny gets up, but last night I was up late finishing a project and overslept. I had to wait until the housekeeper I’ve hired was back from running the shipments to the post office and grocery shopping. She’s a blessing and helps to look after Johnny. She’s like a grandmother to him.”
He led the way to the rental car and realized that he had been dreading seeing Cassy because he thought she’d blame him as much as he blamed himself. Even if she didn’t, it couldn’t change the guilt he had. Weber was his best friend and he had played a role in getting him killed. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to come to terms with that.
“Kyle…” She paused next to the passenger car door he held open for her. “I need you to know…I don’t blame you. Nothing that happened is your fault.”
“Bullshit. If I hadn’t changed places with him he’d still be here.”
“No, Kyle.” She placed her hand over his on the top of the door. “His injuries killed him, not the IED. He was dead when you pulled him inside.”
16
Chapter Sixteen
It was late when Kyle arrived back at the ranch and he was exhausted. The interview schedule had taken more out of him than a full day of work on the ranch. It wasn’t as physically draining but emotionally so—to relive the memories of his last missions was bad enough but to answer questions about them, his service, his recovery, and his life now proved worse. That mission and his military service was something he wanted to put behind him. He had finally gotten to the point that, when he looked in the mirror and saw his scars, or when he donned his prosthesis, he wasn’t constantly reminded of that dreaded day. The interviews, though, brought it all back to the forefront of his memory, including his nightmares.
Even with that, he wouldn’t have changed nominating Lucky for the cook-off. It gave his Gunny the recognition for his cooking skills that he deserved, and it was a way in which Kyle could give back to him. The competition was for a good cause too, a cause that was important to him, since everything he had gone through.
The trip had also reconnected him with Cassy and Johnny. Even hours after he had left them, Cassy’s words kept playing through his thoughts. He was dead before you pulled him in. Was it true? He wasn’t sure, but he’d find out. Lucky would know but he hadn’t wanted to throw off the competition so he hadn’t called. He’d see what he could find out on his own before he bothered his Gunny. It wouldn’t bring Weber back, but he needed to know the truth. To make certain that his action of bringing Weber into the Humvee hadn’t been what led to his death. This would bring him closure.
Yet, closure would have to wait a little longer because there was something else he wanted more.
Staci.
He stepped inside his home and let his sea bag drop to the floor next to the front door. With a deep breath, he took in everything he missed. The sweet scent of apple pie that Josefina must have cooked earlier that day, along with a roast that must have been dinner. He had never valued the sweet smell of home cooking until Josefina. She had a way in the kitchen that would send even the strongest man to his knees—which was great for him and Staci since neither of them had time to cook and his cooking skills were seriously lacking.
“I was waiting for you in bed,” Staci’s soft voice called as she strolled toward him in a nearly sheer baby doll nightgown. “Welcome home, husband.”
She stood there with her hair
cascading down around her shoulders. The thin material left nothing to the imagination, and all he could think about was how much he wanted her. “Oh, sweet sugar, I’ve missed you.” He went to her, pressed her against the wall, and kissed her. His tongue dived between her lips as he slid his hand beneath the material and found her naked. Instantly, his shaft hardened, sending undeniable need pulsing through him.
Her hand slipped between them and rubbed against the front of his jeans, his hard shaft meeting her. “I’d say you missed me,” she teased, when they broke the kiss. “Take me.”
He didn’t want to take the time to walk the length of the hall to their master bedroom. Instead, he slipped his zipper down, freeing his shaft from the confines of his pants. “Wrap your legs around my waist.”
She did as he asked, keeping her arms around his neck to keep her balance. He tugged up the short piece of material that had barely hidden her body and, without wasting another moment, he drove his length inside of her. Pushed deeper with each thrust until he was buried deep within her. He paused for a moment, letting her body adjust to the invasion.
“I’ve missed this.”
“You only want me for the amazing sex,” he teased. He kept his arm around her and, with each thrust, her body responded; her inner muscles clamped down on him greedily as he worked his way in and out of her. It didn’t take long to find the rhythm that bound them together. Even pressed against the wall, she arched toward him, demanding more. Her heels dug slightly into his back as she tried to meet his thrusts.
“Faster.” He didn’t need more encouragement. The world narrowed to the pump action of his shaft sliding in and out of her. Nuzzling his neck, she clung to him, her breath coming faster against his collarbone. “Please Kyle…I’m so close.”
Burying his face against her neck, his hips pistoned against her, every stroke bringing her climax closer. His own just within reach, she exploded around him, her teeth grazing his shoulder as she cried out in pleasure. Her muscles tightened around him and that was all he needed. With a grunt, his body went rigid and he spilled his release inside her. The wave of his orgasm seemed to merge with hers and she shuddered against him with the force of it.
“Amazing,” she said breathlessly as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “That doesn’t even begin to describe it.”
“If you think that was good, just wait until I get you to bed.” Not having the energy to move, he kissed her neck.
“Well then.” She slipped her legs from his waist. “Let’s go.”
“You’re going to be the death of me,” he teased as he let her down from his embrace. “I need some sleep before I can do that again.”
“Sleep is for wimps.” She stepped away from the wall and headed toward the bedroom.
Watching the way the sheer material clung to her, he could almost agree and say screw sleep. “How’s Abbie?” he questioned, following her.
“We have a brand new colt in our stables. He’s beautiful, but you can see him tomorrow. Tonight I have other plans for you.” She turned back just as she reached the double doors to their room. “Yes, sleep is on the schedule but first you need to tell me why you took a later flight.”
The later flight had been so he could spend more time with Johnny and Cassy but when he called to tell her about the change of plans, she had been busy with Abbie so he had to leave a message. Deciding it had been best to tell her in person instead of on her voicemail, he just told her that he had to switch to a later plane. A few hours late had been worth it to spend some extra time with Johnny. The little boy was growing up so quickly, now almost five. Before Kyle would blink, he’d be starting school and become a man. He wished Weber could be there to see his son grow up.
“Kyle?” Staci’s voice pulled him back from his thoughts. “Is everything okay?”
“I told you I was going to Weber’s grave. Well, I ran into his wife while I was there. She invited me back to the house to see Johnny.”
“How did it go?” She moved away from the door and went to the bed. Slipping between the covers, she patted the space next to her.
“Better than I thought it would. Johnny is getting so big and Cassy is doing okay. She’s busy with Sewn with Love, so that helps.” He slipped out of his clothes, leaving only his boxers on before going to the side of the bed. “I invited them here for a visit. I don’t know if they’ll come. He’d love the horses but Cassy is terrified something could happen with them.”
“That’s normal for parents who have no experience with horses.”
“I know, and I told her it would be fine. That we have kids here all the time with the horses. So we’ll see.” He glanced at the picture on the wall of him and Weber a few days before they had deployed.
“Are you okay? You seem…I don’t know…different.”
“Cassy said that Weber was dead before the IED explosion.” He reached down and began to take his prosthetic leg off. “I’m not sure.”
“Does it matter?”
He stopped and turned toward her. “Hell yeah. All this time I thought I was the reason he was dead. If I had only left him in the turret he’d be alive; injured like I am, but alive.”
“Even if that had been the case, you don’t know he’d have survived. He might have given up like you almost did.”
“He had a wife and son…” He looked away. “I had no one.”
“My father had Mom and me and look what happened. Having family there by your side doesn’t always make a difference. Maybe for some it makes it worse.” She reached out and touched his shoulder. “You had no control over what happened that day, or who lived and died. You are here and call me selfish but I’m thankful for that. I love you, Kyle. I know you lost a good friend and I know he left behind a wife and son, but that isn’t your fault. Death finds each of us when it’s our time. We have no control over that. No matter how hard you try, you can’t cheat death.”
With the prosthesis off, he slipped into bed next to her and she cuddled against him. “It’s just a shock. I know it doesn’t change the fact that Weber is gone but I guess for me it makes a difference.” It was stupid but it did bother him. All this time he had blamed himself and now he found out that he wasn’t to blame, but it was the insurgent who shot him.
“Tell me about your visit.”
He settled in against the pillows, rubbing his hand along her back. “Johnny is a great little boy. He’s got three women devoted to his every need.”
“Three?”
“Cassy, her sister, and she hired a housekeeper to help with the house and the boy while they are busy with the orders for Sewn with Love.” He spent the next few minutes telling her all about the visit with the little guy and the rest of his trip to Colorado. “You know the best part of my trip?”
“What’s that?”
“Coming home to you.” He kissed the top of her head. “I swear you’re more beautiful than when I left.”
With her snug beside him, he was finally home. She had once said they were soulmates, completing each other perfectly. He hadn’t believed in soulmates before, but as people said, seeing was believing. He was a believer now. She was his everything and those few days apart had left him feeling as though something was missing. Now he had it back. Love really did complete a person.
17
Chapter Seventeen
It had been a few months since Kyle had come back from the trip to Colorado. The memories that trip provoked had been shoved back into the dark corners of his soul and the nightmares had subsided enough that they were only occasional. Since he had returned it had been nonstop with the ranch and the retreat. Between breeding, training, and racing the horses, he had been busy. Staci and Heather were adjusting to their roles as well. While things had been slow with the retreat, interest had picked up.
Now, Lucky had finished his interview commitments after winning the cook-off and was due at the ranch shortly. This would be the first time they’d have seen each other since the trip and there had been numero
us changes in the Gunnery Sergeant’s life. The biggest being that he had married Madison and they were expecting their first child in less than a month. Marriage and parenthood for him were no doubt a big change.
He was looking forward to seeing how his Gunny was adjusting to the changes, but something else weighed on his mind about the visit. Weber. He had been putting off asking Lucky or even looking into the cause of Weber’s death himself because of what he might find. He had started to accept that it was his fault but the visit with Cassy had given him new hope. Sometime over the next few days, while Lucky was visiting, the truth would finally come out.
“Kyle.” Staci stepped out of the house with a tray of iced tea. “There’s a truck coming up the drive.”
He nodded and looked toward the road. He couldn’t see anything except a faint cloud of dust; in order for her to know that, she must have checked the security camera. “They’re early, but Lucky was never one to be late.”
She sat the tray on the small table on the porch, picked up her phone, and held it out to him. “There’s an email I think you should read. I have it up already.”
“If it’s about purchasing one of the colts, I’ll deal with it tonight.”
“No.” She pushed the phone closer to him. “It’s from Cassy Weber.”
He glanced at her, hoping to find some hint as to what the email said. This had been the one they were waiting for. The email that would let him know if Cassy and Johnny would be coming for a visit when they made their annual trip to see Weber’s ailing mother in Florida. He had been trying to convince her to visit the ranch since he had returned from Colorado, but so far he had no luck.
“Read it,” she urged.
Kyle, I’ve considered this trip for weeks now. Back and forth on whether to come or not. Well, the time is here and a decision needs to be made. While my fear of those big horses around Johnny is still there, my little boy can be adamant and he wants to see you. He wants to go for a horseback ride just like Uncle Kyle promised. We’ll be coming, and so there will be no changing my mind. I booked the flight reservations this morning. We’re leaving for Florida in two weeks and we’ll spend a week there before flying to see you. Johnny is so excited to get there and I’m anxious to meet your wife. See you soon.
Back From Hell (Marine For You Book 2) (Contemporary Military Veteran Romance) Page 12