She pulled the trigger. In the instant her finger met resistance, her arm was slammed up and back into the wall and a force hit her in the stomach just as a loud explosion detonated by her left ear. The gun tore out of her hand, and there was another earsplitting explosion before she was tossed up and around.
There was a terrible growling, some more swearing. She opened her eyes, receiving a brief impression of the door and then the ceiling before she landed with a bone-jarring thud on top of someone.
She tried to turn, but couldn’t.
“You got her?” Cougar asked.
From beneath her, Asa grunted, “Yeah.”
“She hurt?” Metal clanking against metal punctuated the words.
“Don’t think so.” His arms tightened around her.
Oh God, she’d failed. Failed. She slammed her head back into Asa’s rock-solid chest and screamed a protest against the unfairness of it all. Of the cruelty of knowing what was to come and the agony of having to endure it again. Screaming again as the terror rolled over her, keeping it up because at least it was something, no matter how ineffective—something she could do. As she screamed she dug her nails into the hands wrapped around her torso and upper arms and raked hard, slamming her head back, trying to hit Asa in the face, kicking with her feet, desperately searching for a soft spot to hurt him. It wasn’t happening again. Not again. Not again.
* * * * *
Clint rode into the yard, his cock and his thoughts full of the next few hours with Jenna. She’d come so far in the last few days, losing some of that ingrained submissiveness and gaining a little confidence. Even had almost challenged him when he slid those little balls into that sweet pussy. He licked his lips. His muscles tightened with the memory of her delicate, musky flavor. His cock throbbed and jerked. Damn, he could come just from the taste of her.
He pulled Ornery to the hitching post in front of the barn. He noted Cougar’s big black and Asa’s buckskin in the corral. And sighed. He’d forgotten about inviting them over.
He’d just have to wait a little longer to play. Jackson nodded from where he was dumping fresh water into the trough for the two horses.
“Everything all right?”
Jackson nodded. “Cougar and Asa went up to the house about five minutes ago.”
“Anything else?”
“With the exception that I’d like to take that roan off your hands, no.”
Clint returned the other man’s smile. “Not a chance.”
“Figured you’d say that.”
“So why do I get the impression you’ll be back?”
Jackson’s teeth flashed white in the shadow from the brim of his hat. “Probably because I haven’t got what I want yet.”
Clint chuckled. “Heard you could be difficult that way.”
He lifted the reins over Ornery’s head, “Could you cool him down for me?”
“Sure.” Again that smile. “I’ll just add it to your bill.”
Clint shook his head. “You can’t run a bill up high enough to get that roan.”
Jackson took the reins from his hands. “Can’t blame a man for trying.”
Clint pushed his hat back. “Don’t suppose I can.”
A shot shattered the morning quiet. Clint was running for the house before the second one rang out, hot on the heels of the first, a woman’s terrified scream echoing in the reverberations. Danny’s wild barking punctuated the shrill cry.
Clint bit back his instinct to yell for Jenna. Instead, he ran harder, pulling his gun as he went, the two hundred feet between him and the house seeming like miles.
He pulled up short on the porch, staying to the left of the door. Two cautious steps and he flattened himself against the wall. He reached around Danny’s big body, using the dog’s noise to cover the sound of the door opening. As soon as the door cracked, Danny burst forward with a feral snarl. The door slammed against the wall. A man cursed a blue streak and Danny’s snarls turned to battle cries. Clint sprang into the doorway ready to fire, but jerked his arm up at the sight that greeted him.
Cougar was dragging Danny away from Asa who lay on the floor, his long legs and arms wrapped around Jenna who struggled atop him. She yanked her head back, and screamed again—the kind he’d heard before during her nightmares. The kind that made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.
He holstered his gun. “What the hell is going on?”
“Son of a bitch!” Asa swore as Jenna’s head hit his chin.
“Get your wife and your dog under control,” Cougar snapped.
Clint motioned Danny off. The dog dropped to an uneasy sit. Clint knelt and grabbed Jenna’s arms, pulling her into his chest, falling back against the opposite wall as Asa pushed her toward him.
He expected her to stop fighting. She didn’t. Her fingers curved into claws and headed for his face while mutters of “No, no, no” fell incessantly from her lips.
“It’s Clint, baby. Calm down.”
He blocked her hands with his forearm, pressing them against her chest. She twisted her head and sank her teeth into his biceps.
He cast a quick glance at Cougar while yanking his arm free of her teeth. “What in hell did you two do to her?”
“Not a goddamned thing,” Cougar stated flatly.
Danny’s snarls dropped to whines. Cougar let him go. He immediately laid his big head on top of Jenna’s thrashing one, drool sliding into her hair. She didn’t even seem to notice. Clint pulled her closer, pressing her head to his chest, and wincing when she immediately bit.
Asa got up from the floor, his gray eyes staring at Jenna with a mixture of pity and concern. “We came in. She seemed a bit nervous but civil. I made some comment about you inviting us to play,” he waved his hand toward the barn, visible through the window, “with that mustang you’ve been trying to break and she went loco.”
“She lost it over breaking a mustang?” Clint controlled Jenna’s thrashing by pinning her arms to her sides with his. Her tears soaked his shoulder as she struggled against his hold, her teeth biting deeper.
Cougar stepped closer, his moccasins making no sound, his golden gaze considering, a grim set to his mouth.
“Actually, I think all he said was that you had invited us over to play,” Cougar clarified.
It’s damn fun playing with you. The words he’d said to Jenna last night rang in his mind. He thought of her past, and realized how Cougar’s greeting might have struck her.
Ah, shit! Shit! Shit!
“I heard shots,” he finally said, guilt tearing a hole in his chest bigger than Jenna’s teeth could ever hope to.
Asa rubbed his bruised chin, his eyes meeting his with the forthrightness Clint appreciated in the man. “She turned the gun on herself, Clint.”
“Son of a bitch.”
The heavy weight of Cougar’s hand on his shoulder was welcome. Clint met his cousin’s gaze. They’d seen this reaction before. In other women. Women who’d been raped. Women they’d tried to bring home to their families. That it was his Jenna going through it made him want to rage. Instead, he fought for calm. Jenna needed that more than she needed his anger.
Jenna’s breath was coming in harsh, erratic gasps. Her ribs heaved under his hands as she struggled for air. In the other room, he noted Bri’s cries. He bent his head to murmur in Jenna’s ear, keeping his voice mellow and soothing. “Jenna, baby, you’ve got to calm down. You’re scaring Button.”
He might as well have been talking to the wall. The fury he normally kept contained threatened to break free.
Asa knelt beside him. There was a tug on his gun belt. Asa reached around Jenna and handed Clint’s revolver to Cougar. “No need for repeats.”
He didn’t immediately stand like Clint expected him to. Instead he caught Jenna’s chin in his hand, freeing her teeth from Clint’s flesh, and turning her face to his. His expression was devoid of its normal humor as he said to her, with deadly quiet, “When you get to feeling better, you tell me their names,
and I’ll take care of it.”
Apparently Asa had seen his share of broken women, too. Clint didn’t know if Jenna heard over her breathing and the lingering panic, but when Asa let go of her chin she didn’t look away. Then she slowly shook her head.
“No.”
“It will be settled,” Cougar said, stepping into Jenna’s line of vision. The same lethal purpose surrounded him that surrounded Asa. Hell…was probably surrounding himself, as well.
From the door, Jackson spoke up. “I’d be happy to tag along.”
In his arms, Jenna became even stiffer. Christ, did she think they wouldn’t put it together?
“When the time comes,” Clint said, putting all doubts to rest, “I’ll be settling the accounts.” Jenna buried her face in his throat, her breath heating his skin but not touching the coldness in his soul. In the other room, Bri’s screams rose in volume.
“Not alone, you won’t,” Cougar stated implacably.
“It’s not your problem,” Clint pointed out.
Asa put his hands on his knees and stood, his eyes never leaving Jenna. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m making it mine.”
“Yup,” Jackson agreed.
“That pretty much makes it a done deal.” Cougar jerked his chin in the direction of the kitchen. His long hair flowed over his shoulder and chest as he turned. “I’m going to see to Tidbit while you two get things settled.”
“Bring her out to watch us play with that mustang,” Asa suggested, motioning Jackson ahead of him out the door.
“Will do.” Cougar paused at the kitchen door, turned and came back, his eyes a dark gold and his expression serious. He stopped and motioned to Jenna. Clint gave his permission with a nod.
Cougar squatted down. Jenna tensed. Cougar placed his large hand on the back of her head, his skin looking very dark against the bright blonde of her hair. “You tell Clint what happened, Jenna. You tell him everything, and then you let it go.”
The shake of Jenna’s head was almost imperceptible. Clint barely felt it against his neck.
“Whatever it is, Jenna,” Clint said, stroking his hand up her back, “it’s not going to matter to me.” He touched his finger to her cheek. “I just want you, Sunshine. Anyway I can get you.”
Cougar pulled back, his eyes reflecting the sadness that didn’t reach his voice. “You need to trust that Clint will handle the men who hurt you. You need to trust that he won’t allow you to be taken from him.”
“Never, baby. I won’t let you go for anything or anyone—living or dead.”
Clint felt the shaking start in Jenna. It started way down deep inside her with barely perceptible trembles, but then it moved outward to her limbs, jostling him as she vibrated against him. Her arms crept around his neck, her nails dug into his nape. Her tears soaked his collar as she gasped, “Oh God! Oh God!”
He felt the bite of her nails as she pulled herself closer, as if she needed to sink inside him.
“Oh God, Clint. Am I crazy?”
“No, Sunshine,” he whispered, holding her as tightly as she could stand. “You’ve just been scared one time too many.”
“But you don’t need to fear anymore,” Cougar said, standing.
“No.” Clint cupped her head in his hand. “You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”
She felt small and soft in his arms. A gentle woman who wouldn’t hurt a fly. Someone, some man had abused that softness. Tried to crush her. Terrified her to the point that she thought she was insane.
“I almost killed myself for nothing.”
“But you didn’t.”
“What if I do it again?”
“You won’t.” He wiped the tears from her cheeks. “As soon as you get your feet back under you, you’ll be right as rain.”
He stroked her hair, tugging the few straggling pieces free. She’d been through hell, but she’d survived. He kissed her hair. She was his wife now. He knew her value. He’d cherish that softness. Protect it. And anyone who messed with her again would die. “I’m your husband now, Jenna. Not some weak-ass bully. I know how to protect my family.”
“We will all protect you,” Cougar added, his drawl resonating with the assurance of a man who knew how to back his promise. “You’re one of us now.”
Clint flashed him a grateful look as Jenna relaxed the tiniest bit.
“You have nothing to fear anymore,” Clint told her, adding his assurances to Cougar’s, telling himself it wasn’t too much of a lie. She’d be fine until the day she discovered the truth about him and tried to leave. Then she’d see what a bastard he was, but between now and then he’d keep her safe.
Chapter Sixteen
Oh God. She’d almost killed herself. Over a misunderstanding. Left Bri without a mother. Left her husband without a wife. All because she hadn’t fought the memories. Maybe she was as crazy as Jack had always claimed. Except she didn’t feel crazy when Clint held her. She felt safe. Whole. Until something like today happened and she knew how fragile her reality really was. She couldn’t go on like this.
The back door slammed. Cougar taking Bri outside.
“I’m sorry.”
Clint’s hold gentled. “For what?”
“For threatening to shoot your friends.”
“It’s not the first time someone’s taken a potshot at them.”
“I don’t know what happened.”
“You got scared.”
“That’s no excuse.”
“For a while, we’ll let it slide as one.”
“I’m still sorry.” He was so kind. So patient. She turned her cheek against his chest.
“For pointing a gun at Cougar and Asa? Or for trying to kill yourself?”
She didn’t know how to answer that. A tug at her nape had her head tilting back. The sun from the parlor window slanted off his right cheekbone, illuminating his dark eyes with streaks of light.
“The latter you need to spend a lifetime apologizing for.” His lips touched hers. “You’re mine, Sunshine. Forever. No matter what.”
She’d never been kissed with so much emotion. Never been held with so much tenderness. And never, ever wanted to believe something so badly. He held her until her heartbeat slowed. Until her panic ebbed, and until her embarrassment faded beneath the steadiness of his touch. As it did, she noted that while she was relaxed, he was not. The arms that held her were tense, the heart beating beneath her cheek did so faster than normal, and when she glanced at his face there were white lines carved beside his mouth.
“Clint?”
He looked down. “What do you need Jenna?”
Not an abrupt, “What?” No lecture—just an instant offer of comfort.
“You’re upset,” she began, not sure how to broach the subject.
“You scared the shit out of me.”
She stroked his chest. “I scared myself.”
“We’ll get past it.” He had such faith in her. For absolutely no reason.
“We have to.”
“I know.”
She touched the corner of his mouth where the skin showed white. He deserved a reason. He deserved a wife he could count on. “I can’t be her anymore, Clint.”
He frowned. “Who?”
She moved her touch to the lines between his dark brows. “That woman who gets so mindless with fear that she does stupid things.”
“Glad to hear it.” The lines around his eyes might have softened imperceptibly.
“I don’t know how, but I’m going to change.” She meant every word. “I’m not leaving you or Brianna because of the past.”
“There’s no rush. I’ll be more careful.”
How much more careful could he be?
“I think some of this has to come from me.” She ran her finger down the straight bridge of his nose, taking strength from his confidence. She could be the woman he saw when he looked at her.
“When you’re ready.” His hand smoothed over her hair, his pinkie catching in a snarl.
&
nbsp; “I’m ready now.”
“Now?” He raised an eyebrow at her and eased his finger free.
She nodded. “I want to make you feel better.”
“I’m fine.” He hugged her as carefully as if she were fine china and in danger of shattering.
He wasn’t. She could feel the tension humming beneath his skin. “Please?”
He tipped her chin up. “What I need, you’re not in any condition to give me.”
The rejection hit her hard. She dropped her gaze and folded her hands in her lap. It took about two seconds for her to realize what she’d done. And after she’d vowed to change. She tipped her face up and looked Clint dead in the eye.
“No.”
“No?” Both his eyebrows went winging up.
She couldn’t blame him for his surprise. She’d never said that to him without being out of her head, but she was saying it to him now. She clenched her fingers tighter. “You can’t keep treating me like I’ll break, and then expect me to be strong.”
“I don’t expect you to be strong.”
That hurt more than the rejection. “I want to be, and you have to help me.”
“I do?” He leaned back as if to see her better.
“Yes, starting now.” She took a breath and let it out. “You have to tell me what you need and let me decide if I can give it to you.”
“That sounded like an order.”
She took another breath, held it in an agony of daring and answered, “It was.”
He didn’t move or seem to breathe for three heartbeats, and then, unbelievably, he laughed. “You are an amazing woman, Jenna McKinnely.”
The back of his fingers brushed her cheek, his dark eyes thoughtful. She leaned into them and waited. He sighed, and she knew she’d won.
“I came too damned close to losing you.” He paused, and a muscle in his jaw leapt. “I need you.”
“You want to make love to me?”
“More than just make love.” He shook his head as if disgusted with himself. “I want to bury myself in you until you can’t separate where I end and you begin.”
“And you think I wouldn’t want to give you that?” She turned in his arms, her breast pressing into his stomach, one hand going to where she knew his scars were, imagining she could feel them through all the barriers. She’d give him anything he wanted.
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