Chapter Nine
Between working at Magic, classes, and dating Jax, the days flew by, and I loved every minute of it. Thankfully, the semester was coming to an end, which meant more time with Jax. I pushed thoughts of Madame Zarina’s riddles behind me. I shouldn’t have even bothered in the first place. There was nowhere else I’d rather be than with him and Caroline. Although I missed Greg very much, I’d never been happier, and I’d never slept so soundly. The moment my head hit the pillow, I went into a sound, dreamless sleep with a smile on my face. The nightmares of being alone and lost in a cold fog had disappeared because I’d found my other half in Jax.
I’d do anything for him and his sister, including trying to get his mother, Julie, to safety. While Jax was worried about his mom, I worried about him. His father was still in Austin and hadn’t come home since he’d hurt Julie. Jax mentioned his father was probably at some music festival. He said his father used it as an excuse to hit every single bar on 6th street in Austin, not that he needed one. Each time he talked about his father, the vein in his temple throbbed, and his hands clenched into fists. He wouldn’t say it, but I knew he was tempted to go to Austin to hunt his father down. The only thing holding him back was Caroline. I was sure of it.
With Charlie’s help, Jax and I worked on a plan to get Julie help before his father returned. I’d invited them for dinner tomorrow night, hoping that Charlie could coax her to see the counselor at the women’s shelter.
I flipped through a cookbook I’d checked out from the college library. This was my first time cooking for anyone, and I’d decided to keep it simple and bake lemon chicken. I figured not even I could mess up chicken.
Sorry, Penny.
I sighed thinking about Greg’s archenemy. Yeah, I missed her too . . . and the Food Network. There wasn’t a decent lemon chicken recipe anywhere in this damn thing. I clapped the book shut.
“I’m back, Nicole. Thanks for covering today.” Lou walked in carrying a guitar case and smelling a bit funky.
“No problem. Hey, nice guitar,” I said when he took it out of the case.
“Picked this baby up in Austin at the music festival. I was told Carlos Santana once owned this. Or maybe he only played it.” He scratched his head. “Or was it Joan Baez? No, it was Joan Santana.” He snapped his fingers, chuckling. “Yeah, that’s it. I bought this from Carlos Baez.”
“Oookaaay.” I took a step back, trying not to inhale. The smell coming off him was strong. “It’s beautiful. It looks like the one I had.”
“You play?”
I nodded. “It’s been a while.”
“I’d love to hear you play something.”
“May I?” My hand hovered over the instrument.
“Go for it.”
I picked up the guitar and strummed it. I rotated the turning key to tighten the bottom E string a bit. I plucked the A string and was about to tune it when Caroline rushed in.
“Caroline, what are you doing here? You know you’re not supposed to—” I gasped when I noticed her tear-streaked cheeks and freckles standing out against a too pale face. She gulped air in spurts, opening and closing her mouth as if wanting to tell me more, but afraid.
Alarmed, I put down the guitar and rushed to her side. “What happened? Where’s Jax?”
“He-he-he told me to find you.”
“Why? What happened?”
“Daddy’s home.”
My heart stopped.
Oh god. Something happened. Something terrible. He’d never send Caroline away alone.
“Are you okay?”
I let out a breath of relief when she nodded.
“Good. Stay here with Lou. I need to make a phone call and get us some help.”
I stepped toward the back of the counter. Should I call the police? What if I sent them over there and nothing was going on except arguing? That happened in families all the time. Mrs. Reynolds’ bruised cheek flashed through my mind.
I took a breath and decided to call Charlie. She’d know what to do.
“No, Nicole!” Caroline wrapped her arms around my waist when I reached for the phone. “Jax said he’ll met us in the park. He said we should go now.”
I was confused. If he and his mother were okay, why didn’t he call?
“Please, Nicole. He said you could take me to our special place.” She wiped her arm across her nose, sniffling.
I gazed into her distraught face, and I knew why he’d sent her over.
“Shh.” I hugged her to me, rubbing her back. “I’ll take care of you. We’ll go to the park. Do you want to fly?”
“You don’t know how.” Her voice cracked.
I glanced at Lou’s guitar. I may not be able to help her fly away into the clouds, but there was one thing that I did know how to do. “Lou, do you mind if I borrow your guitar?”
* * *
As we walked to our special spot in the park, I kept my voice light as I told Caroline some of my lame jokes. It was unusually warm for this time of the year, and some people were taking advantage of the warm December weather by tubing down the river.
Poor thing, even the festive atmosphere along the river didn’t perk her up. She shuffled slowly beside me, not saying a word, holding tightly to my hand. I could see the path that lead to the trailer park. I wanted desperately to gather her in my arms and run there. The only thing that held me back was that Jax trusted me to be at the spot where he wanted us to be. He trusted me with Caroline and to keep her away from whatever awful things were happening at home.
When we sat on the thick, cool grass, wide eyes gazed up at me. “Nicole, I’m scared.”
Setting the guitar down, I placed her on my lap and kissed her forehead. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. Jax will be here in a little while. You’ll see.”
I hoped I was right.
“He was mad and yelling. Then Daddy punched a hole in the wall and, and, and . . .” Her breathing became ragged as she started bawling. “And Jax screamed bad words at him. The really bad ones. And mommy was crying. And, and, and I couldn’t find Ethel!”
I pulled her closer and ran my hand over her soft hair. Hot tears fell onto my neck. Each of her sobs tore into me, and I cried with her. No one should have to go through that. No wonder she was terrified. I was too.
“And I was bad. I left Ethel all alone. I-I-I didn’t mean to.”
“I know you didn’t, sweetie.”
“You won’t leave me because I was bad?”
“No. I’ll never leave you. And you weren’t bad.”
She poked her head up. Wet lashes blinked as they gazed into my eyes. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
She gave a shuddered breath, appearing to be relieved that I wouldn’t abandon her in her time of need. Who would do something like that to a child?
A sudden pang hit against my chest. I knew who would.
My parents.
I pushed the thought of them aside. I wasn’t going to let them get to me, not anymore.
Brushing away my tears, I cleared my throat. Sounding as cheerful as I could, I said, “I have an idea. Why don’t we sing? Sometimes that makes me feel better when I’m sad.”
“I don’t feel like singing.”
“Okay, then I’ll sing a song for you.”
Sitting her across from me, I grabbed the guitar and strummed it. What song could I possibly play to get her mind off what was happening at her house? She was so young, so innocent. And the real world had come crashing down on her. No wonder Jax did everything he could to help her hold onto her childhood. If only there was a song that could magically whisk us out of here like Jax did when we flew on Shortcake Airlines.
Light brown eyes watched my fingers dance over the strings. A soft breeze blew her hair, hitting it lightly against her cheeks. It tore my heart to see her so sad. The happy and feisty little girl was gone. She was a shell of the girl I’d fallen madly in love with. I looked down, blinking back tears that threatened to fall again. I was afr
aid that if I looked at her too long I’d break down too. That was the last thing she needed. Jax wanted me to be with her because he knew I’d do more than watch over her. I’d make sure that Caroline’s feisty spirit wouldn’t break.
That’s it!
I scanned the park to see if anyone was nearby, wondering what would happen if I sang the song I wanted to sing. Over the past few weeks, I hadn’t put much thought into how my presence in 1984 would affect things in 2002. Maybe I should’ve, but I was a nobody, a blip in the fabric of time. One little song wouldn’t hurt, would it?
Nah.
Shrugging my shoulders, I played the beginning notes to “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” the same Sheryl Crowe version I’d sung at Jitters. This time I sang about a little girl. I sang about Caroline. When I got to the chorus, I threw my head back and sang loudly, “Oh, cute Car-o-line.”
“I’m cute!”
I laughed. “Yes, you are.”
Continuing to sing, her face beamed every time I sang her name and mentioned how cute she was. As she clapped to the song, offbeat of course, I swayed and made silly faces, anything to hear those high-pitched giggles.
When we got to the chorus again, she sang along with me, her voice singing off key as she sang her name.
When I was done, I heard clapping in the distance.
There were a couple of guys standing across the river. One of them was carrying a tube. The other had long light brown hair and wore a bandana on his head.
“We have an audience. Let’s take a bow.”
She giggled, bending low, her pigtails flipping through the air as she bowed.
The man with the bandana gave us a thumbs-up and walked away. I stared after him. He looked oddly familiar. I couldn’t quite pin down where I’d seen him before. What was even more confusing, I didn’t remember if I’d seen him in the future or in the past.
Not the past future, the right-now future.
Which was actually in the past, but really in the future.
Or was the past my present future. Or was the past really my past and it only felt like my future.
Aww, crap!
I’d made a time travel boo-boo.
I think.
I rubbed my temples. All this time travel stuff was giving me a headache.
“Look there’s Jax!” Caroline cried, waving at a figure in the distance. The sun was setting into the horizon, creating a long shadow and making it difficult to see him. “Over here! Nicole made a song for me. It’s called Cute Caroline."
The hairs on the back of my neck stood as the figure moved slowly toward us. His shoulders appeared to be hunched over, and his arms wrapped around his abdomen protectively.
I held my breath as he inched forward. He didn’t call out to us. He didn’t wave. He just kept moving ever so slowly as if he was using every single ounce of strength to reach us.
And then the shadow finally lifted and I saw him.
I gasped in horror.
Jax was almost unrecognizable. Blood streaked his nose, lips, and chin. His left eye was bloodshot and his right was swollen shut. His shirt was torn and covered in dirt. And he was missing a shoe.
A strangled sob escaped my throat as I stared at his dirtied sock.
“You’re here. I knew you . . . I . . .”
I looked up. My heart clenched at the heartbreaking smile marred by a light layer of red covering his perfect white teeth.
“I knew . . . you would . . . be.”
His knees buckled and he fell to the ground.
Chapter Ten
“Is Caroline okay?”
I glanced out the screen door, watching Caroline play with Ethel on the porch before turning to Jax to answer his question. Every time I looked at him, I was left breathless. It was more than the bloodied cuts and bruises on his face. The happy, teasing, and flirtatious boy was gone and had been replaced by a broken young man.
“That’s the same thing she asked me about you,” I replied. Sitting beside him, I opened the first aid kit. “She’s a strong little girl.”
“She’s is.” His swollen lips curled into a smile. He winced.
“You’re strong too.” My voice was soft as I pressed a wet towel to his lip, gently wiping off the blood.
“I made it worse.”
“You were protecting your mother.”
“Do you think Charlie can convince her to get help?”
Blue pools locked with mine, questioning. I wished I had the answers.
I glanced into the kitchen, where Charlie was quietly talking with Julie. The moment Charlie saw Jax’s beaten face and Julie’s black eye, she marched into the bathroom and came out with a couple of first aid kits. She whisked Julie to the kitchen with a determined look on her face. Julie followed her without a word, wearing the same blank expression she had the entire time it took for Lou to drive us over here. It was like she couldn’t believe what had happened.
“Charlie has a lot of experience with women in this type of situation. If anyone can help, she can.”
He grabbed my hand. “Nicole, there’s something I need to tell you.”
“What?” My heart pounded at the torment in his eyes.
“I . . . we . . .” he swallowed thickly. Then he looked away as if changing his mind. “Thank you for everything.”
I let out a breath. For a moment there, I thought he was going to break up with me.
“I’m here for you and your sister. I love her to pieces. I wish I could do more,” I said.
“Jax, I’ve invited your mom to stay the night,” Charlie said as she walked into the living room. “She’s in the guest room, resting. It’s not a good idea for her to go home, just in case your father decides to go back there.”
“Is she going to press charges?” He looked hopeful.
“She’s still thinking about it.”
“Shit!” He stood up and paced the floor. “I don’t get it. How much more will it take before she finally realizes that she needs to leave the asshole? I’ll talk some sense into her.”
“Jax.” Charlie lowered her voice in a warning as she stepped in front of him. “You have to let her work through this on her own. You can’t bully her into it. If you do, you’ll be like—”
“Who? I’ll be like who?” His eyes blazed.
“I’m sorry. Everyone is heated up and the words aren’t coming out right.”
The silence in the room was thick as he glared at Charlie. His jaw clenched as if fighting back a burning rage. This wasn’t my sweet, loving Jax.
“You meant to say like my father, right? I’m like my father.” His voice was cold.
Charlie and I rushed to stop that horrible train of thought and ended up talking over each other.
“No, not at all.”
“That’s not what she meant.”
Sapphire eyes cut from Charlie to me, and the tormented expression returned. I wanted so badly to go to him and to take him in my arms. But when I made a slight movement toward him, I felt it, the slight stiffening of his body, the fear in his eyes, and the invisible wall slowly rising between us.
“You’re right, Charlie.” He let out a defeated breath. “I’m like him. I let him get to me, and then I beat the shit out of him. And I kept coming at him until he finally gave up and he . . . he,” his voice quivered, “he took it out on Mom.”
I couldn’t stand to see him do this to himself. The anguish in his voice was tearing me apart. I had to do something. Gently, I placed my hand on his arm.
“Jax, please don’t do this to yourself.”
He jerked back as if my touch seared him like a hot iron. I sucked in a breath as his rejection cut into my chest, slashing my heart to a lifeless pulp.
“I can’t, Nicole. I can’t be here now. I need to borrow your moped.”
His voice was strained as he turned his head away. He couldn’t even stand to look at me.
“Why?” My voice cracked.
“Please, Nicole. I need to get out of here.”
&nbs
p; My hands shook as I handed him the keys. “Where are you going?”
“I can’t be here right now. I’m sorry.”
“Jax!” I yelled as he flew out the door.
“Jax, where are you going?” Caroline’s frightened voice called after him. “Take me with you. Take me with you!”
The motor roared to life. Caroline’s howls grew louder as she screeched his name and ran down the porch steps chasing him. I rushed after her as she darted into the street.
My feet slapped against the pavement. Each step was a blow to my heart as Caroline’s cries mixed with my own. Finally reaching her, I held onto her tightly. She clung to me, crying out for Jax, begging me to take her to him. I gasped, struggling to breathe from the weight of the crushing pain. We held each other, our hearts breaking as we watched the one person we loved the most disappear into the twilight.
Exhausted, I took Caroline back into the house. She didn’t want to leave me, so I headed for Charlie’s rocking chair. She’d found it last week at a garage sale and had lovingly refinished it herself by sanding the old stain off and then painting it a bright purple. Holding Ethel tight against her little chest, Caroline climbed into my lap. The floor squealed rhythmically in a hypnotic way as I rocked her. After a few minutes, her breathing slowed and she fell asleep.
I sat like that for what seemed like hours. A mixture of emotions ran through me: hurt, frustration, anger.
“Where’s Jax?” Julie stood by the doorway, bleary eyed.
I put a finger over my mouth and gestured to Caroline.
“He left. I just got her to fall asleep,” I whispered.
“Here, let me take her.”
Hesitating, I gazed warily at her thin, waiting arms. I remembered what Jax had said about her not eating. I felt bad for her, really I did. The stress was obviously eating away at her. But I didn’t want to give Caroline to her, not this darling, strong little girl. What would Caroline’s life be like if her mother kept going back to a father like that? My life was filled with an empty house, with parental neglect. All my life I’d second guessed my every move because of them, because I thought I was never good enough. Even Jax, the most wonderful, sexy, and kind man I’d ever known was comparing himself to his monster of a father. Couldn’t she see that her children’s spirits were slowing dying?
Your Gravity: Part Two Page 6