He needed her talking to him again. Talking and distracting him. Soon they would be forced to camp for the night. In a single-person tent, with only one sleeping bag. In order to keep their location secret, they wouldn’t be able to make a fire. The temperature tonight was supposed to drop to around fifty-seven degrees, which wasn’t freezing, but without sufficient warmth, it wouldn’t be comfortable. They might be forced to share body heat, which—damn it—would only have her back in his head again.
She slowed her pace. “There’s another marsh,” she said, breathing hard. “No sawgrass, thank God.”
“Got us a gator, though.” He dragged in deep breaths, too, and nodded toward the alligator slowly cruising about thirty yards east. “She’s about the same distance from us as we are from the opposite shore. You okay with risking it?”
She stared at him as if he had two heads. “This is your neighborhood, not mine. You tell me.”
“Keep your boots on this time. If we get wet, we’ll let them dry out during the night. If she gets too close, run your butt off.”
“What about you?”
“I’ve got a gun.”
“So do I.”
“Okay, so you shoot her if she comes too close.”
She pursed her lips, and raised a brow. “Maybe I will,” she said, then inspected the reeds and cattail before entering the water.
“Let’s go back to what Dante plans to do about Jackass,” he suggested.
“I told you how I felt about it.”
He caught up with her and moved to her right, where he could keep a better eye on the gator. “No, you changed the subject.”
“I did? Hmm. Sorry. You know, it doesn’t look like this marsh is going to get any higher than—”
“Damn it, Lola. What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you answer a simple question?”
“Because it’s not so simple. We’re talking about killing a man.” She let out a sigh. “Do I think any one of us should have the right to decide his fate? I don’t. But I also don’t want him hurting anyone else. And I also know in my gut that, given the chance, he’d kill you and me without thinking twice. Does he deserve to be punished for his crimes? Absolutely. But I don’t want to be that judge.” She half-laughed, and swept the hair that had escaped her ponytail from her face. “Did I avoid answering the question again?”
“Were you trying to?”
“No. At least, not really,” she said, and looked away. “How about you? I mean, you were in the military. Isn’t there some sort of code about unsanctioned kills? If you think about it, that’s what Jackass would be. CORE doesn’t have the authority to execute. Only certain states and the federal government can determine that, but not without due process.”
“Looks like the gator is moving toward where we just came from.”
She looked over her shoulder. “It does. It also sounds like you’re the one who’s now avoiding questions.”
“Not one U.S. military branch or our government condones unsanctioned kills. If it happens, swift measures would be taken. The person responsible for the kill would be dishonorably discharged and face prison.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only one I have.”
“I don’t believe you. But that’s okay. I’ve obviously never been in the military, or in some hot-spot halfway across the world where people hate me on sight. For whatever it’s worth, I admire you for serving our country.”
He smiled. “I appreciate the compliment, but I think it was given with the hope that I’ll give you more information than I care to share.”
She touched his arm. “I actually meant what I said. It’s none of my business what you did when you were a SEAL. What Dante wants to do…I’m struggling with my conscience.”
He understood more than she could ever imagine. Eight years ago, he’d been in her boots, only instead of hiking through the Everglades, he and his team had been hiking through the mountains of Pakistan. Although what had happened that hot March day was no longer considered classified, it was something he didn’t talk about. Outside of the prosecuting officers who’d forced him to stand as a witness against his captain and his brother, Shane, he’d never discussed that day. Dante knew about it, so had plenty of the other men he’d served with, but what they’d heard were bits and fractured pieces of a sad and unfortunate story.
When they reached the shore, Lola immediately located Ian’s footprints. “I can’t find Jackass’s boot prints,” she said, walking right.
He glanced to the ground and noticed Ian’s prints also went to the left. “Come this way,” he called. “Looks like Ian traveled west.”
“At least we have his tracks. I’d like to know where Jackass’s are, though.”
As they walked along the shore, he glanced to the sky. The burnt-orange sun was now half-covered by the trees. In another thirty or forty minutes, they were going to be forced to set up camp for the night. But his mind wasn’t on sleeping in the tent with Lola. Guilt had dowsed all thoughts of using her sexy body to keep warm. “Captain Cole Bateman was one of the greatest guys I’d ever met.”
Lola stopped and stared at Ryan. Sensing whatever he had to say was difficult and likely not of her business, she said, “You don’t have to tell me—”
“I know. But maybe I’m selfish and want to clear my conscience, and at the same time, ease yours.”
She blinked a few times. From the little she knew about him, selfish wasn’t a word she’d use to describe Ryan. But, if what he had to say could help her figure out what to do about Jackass, she was all ears. “What happened to him?”
“He was stripped of his rank, booted from the SEALs and is now a convicted murderer serving twenty to life.”
The pain and sadness in Ryan’s normally laughing eyes tugged at her soul. Her throat tightened. “I don’t think I want to know this,” she said, quickening her steps. She liked Ryan—too much. Maybe she was the selfish one for not wanting to know that he might have done something that would make her think less of him.
He snagged her arm and spun her toward him. “We were sent to a Pakistani village where our government suspected two U.S. civil engineers were being held prisoner. All we were supposed to do was confirm they were there, confirm the number of men we would be up against, then wait for our orders. We get there, and in the center of this crappy village we see there’s a bunker with a couple of armed guards in front of it. Now, when I say village, I use the term loosely. We’re talking one road in and out, and about seven makeshift buildings. So, one of our guys is scoping the area, sees there are another dozen armed men patrolling. Meanwhile, kids are running around, women are doing their chores or whatever.” He shook his head. “It was all bullshit.”
“What was?”
“The kids and women. We’d seen a couple of other villages like this one. Members of this small terrorist group would either bring along their wives and kids, or kidnap someone else’s and force them to act as human shields.”
“That’s horrifying.”
“It is, and we knew about it going in, so did the government guys who’d sent us there.” He looked toward the dying sun. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have started talking about this. Let’s keep moving and I’ll tell you the rest later.”
She pressed a hand to his chest. “You started this. Finish it.”
He clenched his jaw, then nodded. “We call it in, and are told to wait. After about an hour of waiting, six men exit the bunker. Two of them are the U.S. civilians. Cole pulls out the scope and tells our communications guy to let base know that the guy running this terrorist group is also in residence. While that’s happening, we realize what’s about to go down. They were going to execute the civilians right there in the street.”
“Oh, my God.” The visual he described ran through Lola’s mind like a movie. She couldn’t imagine being in a situation where she would have to watch men die. Based on what CORE intended to do to Jackass, she just might. And that horrified her.
> “Right. So Cole takes over communications and wants an answer. He doesn’t get the one any of us wanted. Our commander made it clear we were to do nothing.”
“Why?”
“Because this little organization, which was barely a blip on the radar until they’d kidnapped the civilians, was suspected to have more pockets scattered around Pakistan than the CIA realized. They worried if we engaged, the terrorists would counterattack. Since the CIA wasn’t certain what types of weaponry these terrorists held in their bunkers, and what they might be capable of, we were to let those two men die. Of course, me and the other four SEALs didn’t know what Cole was told. We found out after he’d finished the call. And I’ll be honest, it pissed me off that our government was okay with letting us stand down and watch two men be executed because no one was certain of anything.”
He looked to the sky again. “Cole gave us a choice and we chose to follow him. We saved the two civilians, but killed not only the head of this so-called terrorist group, but seven of his men. The rest surrendered. Not one child or woman was injured. And not a single uprising occurred in retaliation in the days or months that followed. As far as the weapons in the bunker?” He shrugged. “It wasn’t as bad as what our government suspected. So, Cole had gone against orders, basically destroyed a small terrorist organization before it developed into something worse, and saved the two civilians.”
“And in return, he gets twenty to life,” she said, then fisted the front of his shirt. “What about you? Were you reprimanded or whatever? I don’t know military lingo.”
“I had to testify against Cole. We all did. Since we were following his orders, nothing happened to any of us, but when it was time to reenlist the following year, I opted out.”
Now she wished she hadn’t pushed the subject. She preferred the carefree Ryan, who ran an airboat tour company and told silly stories about mutant albino alligators. To know that he’d engaged in combat, risked his life…God, how many times had he placed himself in danger. And how was this awful story supposed to help her deal with the execution of Jackass?
She looked into his eyes, saw the bitterness, the uncertainty and the trust, then suddenly realized he’d bared his soul and his secrets—to her. Aching for him, for what he’d been through, that day, the days and years that had followed, not to mention the battles he’d fought before and after, she inched closer. She let go of his shirt, placed her hands along his clenched jaw and searched his eyes. “You and your captain, along with the other men who stood with you that day, not only saved those two men, but stopped another terrorist organization from hurting others.”
“That wasn’t how the government saw it.”
“Doesn’t matter. And maybe my opinion doesn’t, but that’s how I see it. Thank you for trusting me with this. What you’ve told me doesn’t make what Dante and the others want to do any easier to swallow, but I think it’s something I can live with.”
He placed his hands over hers. His eyes narrowed. “Is it? Damn it. Cole is doing time for killing those men. And he wasn’t the only one pulling the trigger. I carry that guilt with me, and…” He rested his head against her forehead for a split second before he stepped away. “I’m pretty fucked up—sorry—excuse my language. If my mom heard me swear like that in front of a lady…”
“You’re not fucked up. And I’m sorry I pushed you into telling me anything.”
“You didn’t push me. I’ve only admitted the truth to one person, and that was seven years ago. Maybe in trying to help you, I wanted to get some of this guilt off my chest. I knew we were going against direct orders, and that any kill that day was unsanctioned. Then I allowed my captain to take full blame when I was just as guilty.”
Tears filled her eyes. The pain crossing Ryan’s face was so raw, so heartbreaking, it made her ache. On top of that ache was hurt. She’d stupidly assumed he had confided in her because he, at the very least, had trusted her. Which really was plain dumb. He didn’t know her, but he’d know that she would keep his secret safe considering she, thanks to the jackass, Steven Weir, would have her own.
“I’m glad I happened to be the random stranger you decided to use to purge your guilt.”
He gripped her by the upper arms. “That’s not why I told you. Lola, you’re so good. The innocence around you…I crave it. I want it. What’s happening here, shouldn’t have. I can’t tell you how to feel about how Dante wants to handle killing Jackass, but I can tell you this. In Pakistan, I had the choice to join in or stand down. I made the choice to follow my captain. Then I had to sit in the witness chair and lie to save not only my ass, but the other men on my team. Just like Cole, I could have, and should have gone to prison. Now I have to live with the guilt of helping send one of my own away and ruining his life. And that could happen here, only this time around, not just one of us could end up doing time, all of us could. I don’t want to go to prison. I certainly don’t want you, or any other member of CORE going, either. Or having to testify against one another.” He gave her a slight shake. “We could stop this if you want. We could find your mom and Ian, then walk away and leave Jackass for CORE to deal with. But once we have Jackass…we can’t.”
“This isn’t as black and white as you’re making it out to be,” she said, pulling free. “He’s trying to kill my mom and Ian. That man won’t stop. You and I both know it. Dante knows it, too. This morning you hinted that you thought Dante had bigger plans for Jackass than he’d let on, now those plans are confirmed. If you even suspected as much then, why did you bother to continue to help? You’re not doing this for money, so what is it? Reliving the glory days? Making up for what happened in Pakistan?”
His eyes hardened. “For me, there’s no such thing as glory days. There’s no fun in killing.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…” She let out a breath and hugged herself. “Whatever your reasons for being here, thank you.”
“You’ve already thanked me.”
“Except now—”
He pointed to the ground. “There are two sets of boot prints, along with Ian’s footprints. But not your mom’s.”
Fear put their conversation on the backburner—for now. What had Jackass done with her mom? Did he leave her somewhere? Or were they wrong and Ian was carrying her?
“Stay out of your head.” He crouched and checked the soft dirt, then chuckled. “A total jackass.”
“I don’t see how this is remotely funny.”
He motioned toward the opposite shore. “Before we crossed, there was only one set of Jackass’s boot prints leading into the marsh. Because of the tripwires, you and I both agreed he probably notched the trees to find his way back to us. I’m thinking that when he originally crossed, he did it at an angle and ended up here. But when he turned around to come after us, it looks like he overshot his own trail and went straight across instead. If that’s the case, it could be a while before he picks up his tracks again.”
“What if he did that on purpose?”
“To throw us off? Possible, but doubtful. You’ve seen me with the GPS and compass. The compass will help with direction. The GPS, if he has one, will help him find his general location, but he couldn’t pick up where he’d been last. You know as well as I do, there’s a lot of ground to cover out here.”
“That means he could escape.” She pressed a hand to her forehead and the other to her churning stomach. “Think about it. If he’s backtracked this far—”
“He’s not going anywhere. The man spent six years in prison and blames Ian for it. He’s killed three people in the past three days.” He shook his head. “He won’t stop until he is stopped.”
She didn’t want to return to that subject again. “Let’s see where the trail leads before it’s too dark to see anything.” As they followed the prints, she tried not to think about what Steven Weir might have done with her mom, and thought back to what had happened to Ryan eight years ago.
He harbored a copious amount of guilt, which was understandable. He h
adn’t been following orders, but had been given a choice. Shoot or stand down. If she’d been in his position, she couldn’t imagine sitting on the sidelines while the rest of her team drove forward and risked their lives. In her heart, she’d like to think she was brave enough to stand by the men she worked with and do whatever was necessary to neutralize a situation. After spending the past twelve hours searching for her mom, dealing with the fear, the worry, the hatred…if she came across the man and he threatened her and Ryan, her gut told her she’d have no problem shooting him. She’d shot two others five months ago. Only, she’d shot to maim, not kill.
But she and Ryan hadn’t been talking about a kill or be killed situation. They’d been discussing murder and how each of them would have to deal with the possible outcome, should the authorities discover what they’d conspired to do.
Her head suddenly grew muddled with exhaustion and indecision. She wished she could talk to her mom about this. Her mom knew her better than anyone. She always had a way of helping her fix things and solving her problems. Her dad had, too.
Disappointment settled on her shoulders, making the pack she carried seem heavier. She was twenty-nine years old and couldn’t make a decision without talking to her mommy.
Pathetic.
Disgusted by that realization, she started thinking back. To how she’d handled her dad’s death, to the way her mom had encouraged her to quit past jobs when she had grown restless and unhappy with them, or they’d become too tough. To her short-lived acting career, to spending the majority of her college career living at home because it was easy and safe. To CORE. She wasn’t a fool and had known from the start that Ian wouldn’t have hired her if he hadn’t been dating her mom. Nepotism had always been part of her life. More than half of the jobs she’d had were because her mom or dad knew the right person.
She slid her gaze to Ryan and stared at his strong profile. Ashamed, she looked back to the ground. Ryan had been raised by hardworking parents. From the sound of it, there hadn’t been much money to go around. He’d told her that after he had graduated from high school, he’d gone to college to avoid becoming a carpenter like his dad. After two years, and too much debt, he had realized he couldn’t afford college and had enlisted in the Navy. He’d fought and killed. He’d made his own decisions and, right or wrong, he had acknowledged them. Now he had his own successful business that could be jeopardized by being here with her.
Ultimate Prey (Book 3 Ultimate CORE) (CORE Series) Page 24