by Nikki Wild
“I’m opening my own business and I’ve never done this before. Bear mentioned your services might be for hire?”
“Of course!” she said. “I’d love to help.”
“That’s wonderful!”
“What’s your business?”
“I’m starting a clothing line. A retail store…”
“From scratch?”
“Yes,” I said, wishing I was much further along than I was.
“Well, you’ve called the right person. It’s better you called me at the beginning of the process, that way everything can be done right the first time.”
“Oh, okay, good,” I said, my fears put at ease.
“I have a ton of experience, Chloe, don’t you worry about a thing. When can you meet?”
“Well, I’d like to meet after our wedding this weekend. We’re going away for a short honeymoon and then I’ll be right back to get to work.”
“What’s the rush?”
“Oh,” I said, my hand flying to my belly, “I’m pregnant.”
“Oh!” she said. “I see, I see. Bear didn’t tell me that. Congratulations, Chloe!”
“Thank you,” I replied.
“So, I’ll see you when you get back and we’ll hit the ground running. You don’t worry about a thing and enjoy your honeymoon.”
“Thank you, Violet,” I repeated. There was something in the confidence in her voice that was contagious and I hung up doing exactly what she said—not worrying.
My shoulders relaxed and I went about my day breathing a little easier than I had before I called.
I made a mental note to listen to Bear a little more and accept his assistance a little quicker the next time.
It was a learning process. I was growing. Slowly, surely, and one little bit at a time, but I was getting there.
Bear
“Sarah, can you ask Jeffrey to come in here?” I called.
“Sure thing, Mr. Dalton,” she said, her voice disappearing on the phone.
Jeffrey is the head of my IT department and it’s taken me a few days to decide if I could trust him with this particular task, but I think I can.
When he walked in, I pulled the CD out of my briefcase.
“I need your help with this,” I said, sliding it across the desk to him. “I tried it on my computer, but I can’t open the document. Can you take a look and let me know what you find?”
“Of course, Mr. Dalton,” he said. “I’ll get right on it.”
“Thank you,” I said, as he rose to walk out. “And Jeffrey?”
“Yes?” he asked, turning back.
“This is personal. Please keep this between us. Whatever is on there is not to be shared with anyone, do you understand?”
“Absolutely, Mr. Dalton.” He nodded and walked away and I took a deep breath.
“I’m gonna figure this shit out,” I said to my empty office, hoping like hell Bruce could hear me.
“Wish you were here,” I whispered, blinking away the tears. I hated feeling weak and sad. Those were not emotions I was used to. So, I pushed them away, focusing instead on the anger, using it to motivate me forward.
I had a lot of work to do, a lot to figure out and if there was anything to uncover, which I was pretty sure there was, I needed to do it methodically and carefully.
But first—I had a wedding to attend.
I’d never imagined I’d ever get married. Finding someone who could accept me as I am always seemed like an impossible task.
But Chloe proved me wrong.
I’d never expected things to last this long. I figured she’d confess to Matilda about our first encounter and it would be over. I didn’t think I’d ever see Chloe again and even though she said she would, I never expected her to show up in New York.
But she had. She’d responded to every one of my demands willingly and bravely. I’d seen something shining in her from the beginning and the more she responded, the more enthusiastic I became. In the beginning, I didn’t know I’d come to love her as fiercely as I do know.
But it had come. It hit me hard and fast and what had begun as a game had turned into something so much more.
She was everything to me.
I could lose everything tomorrow, all my money, my property, every asset I’ve acquired over the years and I wouldn’t give a shit, as long as I had Chloe.
She was all that mattered to me now.
Now that Bruce was gone, she was really my only friend. I had acquaintances, colleagues, even a few guys from college that I kept in touch with, but before Chloe came along, Bruce was the only person I’d confide anything of importance to.
My gratitude for Chloe was immense. She’d been an absolute angel these last few weeks, putting up with my melancholy mood, wrapping me up in her much needed love. I wouldn’t have survived this without her.
I would have married her soon anyway, but the baby and then Bruce’s death…well, I just couldn’t wait.
I wasn’t even sure why. I’d already claimed her as my own, but there was something more sacred about having a ceremony.
I wanted to seal our union, in a way, however corny it may sound.
There were lots of legal reasons, too, and whenever I started feeling particularly mushy about it, I hid behind them to hide my sentimentality. I didn’t really think anything would happen to me, but Bruce’s death had highlighted the fact that anything could happen at anytime, and it made me nervous. I wanted Chloe and our baby to have all the security they could, just in case.
I hated thinking about this shit…
I enjoyed pretending that myself and my few loved ones were untouchable, immortal…I knew we weren’t…but I was guilty of finding periodic comfort in the delusion. Bruce’s death didn’t allow me that comfort anymore.
So, lately, despite my preference, death was all I was thinking about.
Maybe once I found some answers, I’d feel better.
All I could do was hope…for now, I guess that was good enough.
Chloe
“Something new, something old, something borrowed, something blue,” Marie said, holding up a lacy blue garter belt. “Here’s your blue!”
“I hadn’t even thought of any of that!” I cried. “Shit!”
“That’s okay, I’ve got you covered,” Marie said. I hugged her gratefully, my stomach quivering with nerves.
“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had,” I said.
“I thought I was the only friend you’ve ever had?” she quipped.
“Shut up!” I said, winking at her. “Give me that!”
I took the garter belt from her and lifted the skirt of my dress, sliding it over my left foot and up my leg to the middle of my thigh.
“How’s that?” I said.
“Are you not wearing fucking panties again, Chloe?” she asked, arching an eyebrow.
Hastily, I let my skirt fall and tried not to blush.
“Shut up,” I said again. “I need something old, new and borrowed now.”
“Right,” she said, digging through her bag. “So your dress is new. So you’ve got that covered. And you can borrow this,” she said, handing me a beautiful jewel-covered hair comb.
“It’s lovely!” I cried, rushing to the mirror. I’d let my hair fall in carefully crafted waves around my shoulders and I lifted up one side, securing the comb and inspecting myself in the mirror. “How’s that?” I asked, turning back to her.
“That’s perfect,” she said, smiling over at me. “You look amazing, Chloe. Seriously, you’re the most beautiful bride ever!”
“Thank you.”
“Bear must be thrilled.”
“I wish he was more into it, to be honest.”
“Well, Bruce’s death hit him hard. It’s understandable. I don’t know why you guys didn’t wait till the baby arrived.”
Instinctively, I reached down, pressing my palm against my belly.
“He didn’t want to wait.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter. I’m
sure everything will work out just fine.”
“Me, too. I can’t wait to be Mrs. Bear Dalton!”
“I can’t believe this. Your relationship has moved as fast as lightening. I think I still have a little whiplash,” she teased, reaching up and caressing her neck.
“Shut up!” I repeated again, laughing in spite of myself.
She winked at me and smiled.
“So now you need something old,” she said, just as Matilda peeked her head in the door.
“Mom!” I cried.
“Oh, my gosh, Chloe you look absolutely stunning!” she said, pulling me into her arms for a rare but warm embrace. She was really getting into this affection thing lately, I thought. It must be her new boyfriend. She had a glow on her face that I’d never seen before. I still hadn’t met him, she’d been keeping him all to herself. I’d even invited him to the wedding today, but she’d insisted he not come.
“Thanks, Mom,” I said.
“I brought you something,” she said, holding up a tiny black box with a red ribbon on it.
“Mom, you shouldn’t have,” I said, taking it from her.
“Of course I should have! You’re my daughter!” she said. “And did I hear you say you needed something old? This counts.”
I smiled and pulled on the ribbon and opened up the box to see a pair of dangly diamond earrings.
“Mom, they’re beautiful!”
“They were your grandma’s. She wore them at her wedding. Now, they’re yours.”
“Oh, Mom,” I said, throwing my arms around her. She patted my back and kissed my cheek.
“Put them on,” she said. Once again, I rushed to the mirror, slipping on the diamonds and shaking my head, watching them dangle and dance, the reflections sparkling around my face.
“I adore them!” I said.
“You look perfect, Chloe,” she said. “Are you really wearing that choker?”
“Oh,” I said, reaching up and touching the diamond encrusted choker Bear had given me. It seemed like so long ago and I wore it now like a second skin these days, barely even thinking about it. But I’d thought about it today and taking it off just didn’t seem right. I felt like I should wear it today especially.
“Yes,” I said simply, offering no other explanations. I no longer had to explain myself and that was a glorious feeling.
“Okay,” she said, dismissing it easily. “I really think you and Bear will be very happy together, Chloe. I’m glad you found each other.”
I squinted my eyes, searching for any hint of sarcasm or uncertainty, but I didn’t find any. She seemed to be accepting of our relationship fully and while I was still a little surprised by how easily she’d taken the news, I was more than grateful for it.
“Thank you,” I smiled. Her grace about the whole situation had made everything easier. I had enough to worry about and her disapproval would only add to my misery.
“Did you see Page Six today?” she asked.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Seriously? It’s the gossip page of the New York Post,” Marie said, rolling her eyes. “Everyone knows that.”
“I’m not much of a gossip queen,” I said, rolling my eyes back. “Unlike some people!”
“Well, maybe you should be,” Mom said. “You’re on it.”
“Me? What?”
“They saw your wedding announcement,” she said.
“That’s so cool!” Marie said, rushing to her phone.
“I didn’t make an announcement…” I said, thoroughly confused.
“I did,” Mom said. “I posted it in the wedding announcements, so we’d have a clipping for your wedding album, but Page Six picked it up and since Bear’s name is there…well, it’s big news, Chloe. You’re going to be a celebrity now.”
“What!” I cried. “Oh, God no!”
“Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about that,” Marie said, shoving her phone in my face.
“I try not to think of it that way,” I said, looking down at Marie’s phone that was being shoved in my face. Sure enough, there was our picture, taken completely unbeknownst to me while I was having dinner with Bear a few weeks ago. “God where did they get that picture? Bear’s the celebrity, not me.”
“Well, you’re going to be adopting his name, so you have no choice.”
“I’m never leaving the house again,” I said, dread washing over me. I might literally be the most private person in the world and having my name in the paper was really the last thing I wanted.
“You’ll get used to it,” Mom said, patting my back. “Don’t worry about it right now, though. Today is a day to celebrate! Do you need me to do anything?”
“Not that I can think of,” I said, sitting down on the bed with a deep sigh.
“Chloe,” Marie said, sitting beside me and taking my hands in hers. She peered deeply in my eyes. “If I see you frown one more time today, I’m going to rip that lovely dress from your body, steal back that garter belt, take off your earrings, pull the comb from your hair and then, I’m going to put it all on my body and go out there and marry that handsome hunk of a filthy rich man myself. I know you don’t want that to happen, because Bear wouldn’t know how to handle a woman like me, but I will do it, for the good of all mankind. So help me God.”
“Shut up!” I said, trying not to laugh. It was impossible to frown with Marie around.
“You shut up! And fucking smile, for fuck’s sake. You look like you’re going to a funeral.”
“I’m happy, I am!” I protested. “I just don’t want to be in the papers.”
“Well, tough shit, you are,” she said, “deal with it.”
“You’re so comforting, Marie,” I said, my voice laced with sarcasm. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she said, handing me my bouquet and shoving me towards the door. “Now get out there before I steal Prince Charming from you!”
Bear
“Max, I can’t thank you enough,” I said, hugging him. Max had been so loyal and kind and such a good friend to me. He’d treated Chloe with respect and kindness, too, and it hadn’t gone unnoticed.
“I’m honored to be here, Bear,” he said. I’d asked him to be my best man at the wedding in Bruce’s absence, which was so strong it was almost palpable. I’d woken up with the most mind-bending mix of euphoria and grief this morning.
Chloe had insisted we spend the night apart, so I hadn’t seen her at all today.
I smiled with anticipation, the millionth time today that I’d switched gears between sadness and elation. The roller-coaster ride was exhausting and it was all so bittersweet.
I was making a concerted effort to concentrate on the sweet part.
Max was helping a little.
We sat in my study together, sipping whiskey and waiting for the sign that Chloe was ready.
I couldn’t wait to see her.
I couldn’t wait to kiss her.
I had to remind myself to keep things clean because Matilda was here. I knew as soon as the priest told me I could kiss my bride, I would have a hard time holding back my passion.
A knock on the door told us it was time and my heart skipped a beat.
Max smiled over at me and nodded slowly.
“You got this,” he said, flashing a reassuring smile my way.
“I do,” I said, as we stood up and made our way to the door.
The piano player we’d hired started playing and I swallowed hard, my eyes glued to the terrace doors. Max stood beside me, my heart pounding as I waited for Chloe to emerge from the penthouse.
The doors opened and Marie walked out, looking lovely in an emerald floor-length gown, a bouquet of pure white lilies in her hands.
She flashed me a lovely smile and took her place across from us.
The music played on as another moment passed, my palms beginning to sweat.
These are your last few minutes, I thought to myself, the end of my bachelor life and the beginning of my journey
with Chloe.
As she walked out, her arm threaded through Matilda’s, a larger version of Marie’s bouquet held in front of her belly, my breath caught at the site of her.
“Beauty…” I whispered, my eyes filling with tears.
She was exquisite, like the finest, sparkliest, most pure diamonds on Earth, she was pure light. Her dress hugged her luscious curves, her hair flowing around her gorgeous face in soft waves and her eyes shone with nothing but pure love.
I could hardly breathe.
She walked up to me, silently beaming. She handed Marie her bouquet and I took her hands in mine.
We were both trembling.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join these two in holy matrimony…”
Chloe
With shaking knees, I barely managed to make it to the altar. My eyes landed on Bear and everything else seemed to disappear. He appeared in a foggy cloud, his handsome face floating in front of me in a dreamy dance of love and joy. My earlier nerves fell away and I handed my bouquet to Marie, eager to grasp my love’s hands.
His touch soothed me, his fingertips playing against mine as our sparkling eyes danced together.
The priest Bear had hired chanted beside us in a low, velvety voice.
“A marriage is a voluntary act,” he began. “It requires one to be fully committed, excluding all others and lasting a lifetime.”
I smiled at Bear, imaging a lifetime with him. I’d never been happier than right here, in this moment, standing in front of the few people who cared, with this amazing man.
“Before you declare your vows to one another, I want to hear you confirm that it is indeed your intention to be married today.”
“Chloe,” he asked, “do you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to Bear in marriage?"
“I do,” I said, fighting back tears, my heart swelling.
“Bear,” he continued, “do you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to Chloe in marriage?”