by Mercy Amare
I also miss Gabe. He went from being my entire world to hardly being in it. And I know it’s because he needs time to process our break up, but it still sucks. I miss his friendship and would do almost anything to get that back. Hopefully tonight is a step in the right direction.
“What’s wrong with you, little sister?” Toby asks.
“Just thinking.”
“What about?”
“Gabe. Ty. You know.”
He nods. “I did notice how weird things are between Ty and you. Want to talk about it?”
“Things are weird. Ever since we stopped having sex,” I say. “No, not just then. It was weird after our trip to Canada last month. I kind of yelled at him in front of everybody in the car. I mostly said I wasn’t over the fact that he cheated on me.”
“Oooh,” Toby says. “That’s rough. Ty is crazy about you. He probably thought that essentially, you were saying you’ll never, ever give him another chance. I mean, he’s been waiting a year to get you back. And then he gets you, but not really.”
I let out a frustrated growl. “I’m so stupid. I never should’ve slept with him.”
“Not necessarily. You just should’ve waited until you were ready to really forgive him,” he says. “You should’ve waited until you were in love with him.”
“What if I don’t fall in love with him ever?” I ask.
“It would break his heart, but you can’t help how you feel.”
“I don’t want to break Ty’s heart.” As I say the words, I know that isn’t all. “I also don’t want Ty to break my heart. What if we started dating and he cheated on me again? Or, what if he decided he just didn’t like me anymore? I know that I sound chicken, but I don’t want to go through another break up. Especially not when it comes to one of my best friends.”
“I guess you just need to ask yourself if he’s worth it,” Toby says. “I know that you’ll do the right thing.”
The right thing. If only it were black and white. Everything is so grey these days.
“So, what’s the deal with Micah?” Toby asks.
“No deal,” I say, shrugging my shoulders. “Micah and I met at my coming out party. He was cool and I found out he went to school here. So, we hang out. We’re friends. But that’s it.”
“Ugh-huh,” he says, not sounding convinced at all.
“I’m serious, Toby.”
“Okay,” he says. “So, we’re going to see his band play tonight?”
“Yeah. They’re really good. I’ve been to a few of their practices,” I tell him. “Ty is going tonight, too. So is Gabe. If I wanted to date this guy, do you really think I’d invite my ex-boyfriends?”
Toby laughs. “Well, you do have a problem with letting go of the past. I mean, the fact that you consider your ex-boyfriend your best friend is kind of sad.”
He’s right.
He is so right.
I am pathetic.
“What is wrong with me?” I ask.
“How much time do you have?”
I look at Toby to see if he’s joking. He’s got a big grin on his face, so I throw a pillow at him. “You’re not funny.”
“You’re just too nice,” Toby says, tossing the pillow back.
“You think?”
“You picked up your ex-boyfriend from another girl’s room, literally days after you broke up,” he says. “If a girl did that to me, no way would I pick her up.”
“I still care about Gabe. He will hardly talk to me,” I say. “The whole thing with Ty really pissed him off. Not that I blame him. I slept with his best friend.”
“Things certainly have changed since last Halloween.”
I laugh. “That’s an understatement.”
“At least you don’t have a stalker anymore.”
“Yeah,” I agree.
Whoever was leaving notes had stopped doing it. I wish I knew who it was, but I guess it doesn’t matter now. It was obviously just a sick joke.
“What are you dressing as tonight?” Toby asks.
“Sookie from True Blood,” I answer. “Let me guess, you’re going as Toby Anderson.”
“How did you know?” he asks, pretending to be shocked.
“I hope that someday you meet a girl who can convince you to wear a Halloween costume.”
“No girl is worth that. Little sis, I’m telling you, I will never fall in love. Relationships aren’t for me.”
“You almost dated Victoria,” I remind him.
“I was weak. My judgment was clouded because she was really good at—”
I cut him off. “Please, do not finish that sentence.”
He laughs. “Like it’s something you’ve never done.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Ty and I talk,” Toby says.
“Well, Ty is going to have a problem talking once I rip his tongue out of his throat.”
“If you rip his tongue out, he won’t be able to—”
I cut him off again. “Toby, shut up, please.”
My face is warm, and I’m pretty sure that I’m blushing.
“By the way, I was totally joking. Ty has never told me anything about sex with you. You’re my sister. I don’t want to hear that shit,” he says, grinning big. “But it was fun seeing you get so mad.”
I roll my eyes. “Why do I always fall for your crap?”
Toby grins even bigger. “Oh, come on, you know you love me.”
“I do love you. But only because I’m forced to. If we weren’t related, you’d so be out the door.”
We both laugh, but we know it’s not the truth. No matter what happens, Toby will always be my brother.
I love having him in my life and I really can’t wait for him to join me at college next year.
8 p.m.
Number one fan.
Micah is about to play in front of hundreds of college students and he doesn’t seem nervous, like, at all. If it were me, I’d be a nervous wreck, but I don’t tell him that. I just encourage him and tell him that he’s going to rock, because he is.
“He isn’t nervous at all,” Simon says to me, as he watches Micah. “How can he be so calm? I’m nervous about just playing. If I were going to be singing, I would vomit.”
I shrug. “He’s a pretty confident person.”
“Chelsea doesn’t seem nervous either,” he says.
“I think she’s a little nervous,” I say, looking at her. She has a big smile on her face, but she can’t stand still and she’s playing with the ends of her hair. I definitely think she’s more excited than nervous.
“Do you think I’ll be nervous every time we play?”
“No. I think it will get a little easier every time,” I say. “Pretty soon you guys will be playing to sold out stadiums and arenas like it’s nothing.”
Simon smiles. “You’re right.”
“You guys are amazing. Everybody is going to love you.”
Simon pales. “You’re the only person who has heard us live. We only got this gig because we offered to play for free. What if nobody else like us? What if we’re booed off stage? I mean, you’re biased.”
“Hey, I am not biased. I hardly knew any of you when I heard you.”
“Yeah, but you and Micah had that thing going on.”
“What thing? We don’t have a thing.”
Simon rolls his eyes. “Whatever you say. But you should know; Micah is kind of crazy about you.”
“He shouldn’t be,” I say.
Before Simon can respond, Micah walks over to us.
“You ready?” Micah asks Simon.
Simon just nods.
“You’re going to be awesome,” I tell him.
“Thanks.”
“I’m glad you’re here,” Micah tells me.
“Just don’t forget who your number one fan is when you’re accepting your Grammy.”
Micah grins. “You really think I’d go to the Grammys without you?”
“You’d better not,” I
say.
“Promise,” he says.
Micah, Simon and Chelsea walk onto the makeshift platform. After a quick introduction, they start playing. Halfway through the first song, Simon seems to relax and get into the music.
I like hearing them live.
They sound even better than they did in Chelsea’s basement and they definitely look like they’re having fun. They have so much chemistry. I am proud of them.
“They are good!” Ty yells over the music.
I look over and notice him standing beside me. “Yeah, they are.”
“I can’t compete with him.”
I turn to look at Ty. “Compete with who?”
“Micah. I can’t play the guitar. And I don’t have the whole... voice thing. Could he sound anymore angelic? Hell, I don’t even have money right now. Everything I have is because of your dad. I probably wouldn’t have gotten anything from my dad if it wasn’t for your dad’s lawyer. I don’t have anything to offer you except me.”
“I’m not asking you to compete with him.”
“But I am, Kihanna,” Ty says. “He likes you. A lot.”
“He likes me as a friend. That’s it.”
“Don’t do that thing where you pretend you are oblivious to something that you know,” he says. “I know you. You like to ignore something just because you don’t want to deal with it. But sooner, or later, you have to. I’ve given you space, but I’m tired of it. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. I hate that you’ve spent the last month avoiding me.”
“I wasn’t avoiding you. I just couldn’t handle being around you and not being with you,” he says. “I’m in love with you, and you can’t even see it.”
In love?
No.
No.
No.
Why did he have to tell me? It completely ruins everything.
I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. I have no words. I don’t know what I could even say to him.
“I... I’m sorry,” I say, and then turn around and push my way through the crowds of people standing around the stage listening to the band. I walk through the massive fraternity house until I reach the back door. There are a few people standing around outside, so I walk to a more private spot and take a seat. It’s then that I realize I’m crying.
I pull my knees up to my chest and put my head down on them.
Why is this happening to me? I can’t lose Ty, but I’m not ready. I’m not even close to ready. I don’t even know what I want right now.
I feel the bench give a little. I know that somebody sat down beside me, but I don’t want to look. I know that it’s probably Ty, and I am not ready to talk to him. Not yet. I need time to figure out what I’m going to say.
“Hey, Kihanna.”
That voice.
I know that voice.
I jerk up and look into the eyes of Brian Asher.
“How...” my voice trails off and the question falls short.
“How am I alive?” he says, finishing the question.
I nod.
“Faking your own death is easier than you might think,” he says.
“But you were in jail.”
“Guess I have your boyfriend to thank for that one,” Brian says. “Or ex-boyfriend, I guess. What I can’t figure out is if you’re dating Ty or Micah. Maybe you’re dating the both of them.”
“What are you doing here? Mike Newman is in jail. You’re not getting paid for this.”
“Oh, I know,” he says. “When I accepted the job, I never expected to fall in love with you. That was just a perk.”
“You ruined my life,” I say, trying to breathe through the anger.
I’ve imagined one hundred times what I would say to Brian if he were still alive. Now that he’s here and in front of me, I can’t remember one of the things I was going to say. I just can’t stop thinking how? How is he here?
“I didn’t ruin your life,” he says. “You’re here, aren’t you? You’re at Berkeley. You’re happy, healthy, and just a beautiful as ever. Maybe even more beautiful. I love your hair like this.” He reached out and grabs a strand of my hair. I slap it away.
“Don’t touch me.”
“When we dated, you used to beg me to touch you,” he says. “I was waiting for you to be legal. I can’t believe that stupid Gabe kid ruined it. I underestimated him.”
“How could you do that to me?” I ask. “I was scared for my life and you were the one doing it the whole time. I trusted you.”
“You were safe with me. I was never going to kill you.” He reaches out a hand to caress my cheek. “God, I miss you so much.”
I push his hand away again. “Don’t. Touch. Me.” I get up from the bench. “Stay away from me.”
“For now,” he says.
I take off running back towards the back door. On my way, I accidentally run into somebody and fall backwards onto my butt. I look up and see Gabe. He holds out his hand for me and helps me stand up.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No. I’m not.”
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Brian Asher...” my voice trails off. I’m not able to finish my sentence.
“Brian?” Gabe asks, clearly not understanding what I’m trying to say. Why would he? We both thought that Brian Asher was dead.
Maybe I imagined the whole thing.
No, it was real.
Very real.
My heart is still beating fast from the encounter.
Oh, my God, what am I going to do?
“He’s alive,” I finally manage to say. “He was here.”
“How?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “But he is.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure!” I say a little too loudly.
“Sorry,” Gabe says. “I believe you. It’s just...”
“Crazy?”
“Yeah,” he agrees. “How is this even possible?”
“I’m scared,” I tell him, my voice breaking.
I hate how quickly I turned back into this scared little girl.
“We need to get out of here,” he says. “Let’s get Toby and Ty.”
I hate missing the rest of Micah’s show, but I can’t be here anymore. I need to go somewhere safe. Not that anywhere is safe from Brian.
A chill comes over me when I think about the video of Brian standing at the end of my bed, just watching me sleep.
I walk beside Gabe as we go back into the party. The music is turned up loud and everybody is dancing along to the music. I hate that I’m missing this important moment for Micah. I’m so glad that it’s going well for him.
As we walk through the crowd, I find Ty in the front, right where I left him.
“Kihanna, I’m—”
I cut him off. “We need to find Toby and get out of here, like, now.”
It’s then that Ty notices Gabe standing beside me.
“What’s wrong?” Ty asks.
“I’ll tell you in a minute,” I say. “Just, please, come.”
9 p.m.
Brian?
“Brian?” Toby says, once I finish telling them the whole story from start to finish. We are sitting in my car in front of my building. I didn’t want to wait until we got inside, so I just told them here.
“He’s going to wish he were dead,” Ty says. “I can’t believe he touched you.”
I shiver involuntarily.
Ty pulls me against him.
“Let’s just go inside,” I say. “I want to take a shower.”
I need to scrub my skin for the next four hours.
Ty helps me out of the SUV and all four of us head into my dorm room. When we get outside my dorm, I see the white board I had under my bed hanging on the door. It still has permanent ink on it.
You ruined my life. Now I’m going to ruin yours.
But now there is something written over those words.
This is just the beginning.
I yank the board down and open the door. I’m about to walk inside when I hear something rattling. It almost sounds like one of Kailee’s rattles. I switch on the light and see that it’s definitely not one of her rattles.
My room is full of snakes.
Out of instinct, I take a step back.
And so it begins.
Though, really, I guess it never ended.
The end.
Look for I’m Over It, Kihanna in College #2, coming SOON!
As an indie author, I rely heavily on my readers to get the word out about my books. If you loved this story, it would mean the world to me if you left a review where you purchased it! Thanks! <3
Check out my other books!
New Haven Academy:
— Losing Grip (Book 1)
— Wasting Away (Book 2 — coming March 2015)
Dirty Secrets:
— Ultimatum (Episode 1)
— Deception (Episode 2)
— Ruin (Episode 3)
— Forgotten (Episode 4)
— Betrayal (Episode 5)
Kihanna in College:
— The College Life (Book 1)
East Wood Prep Series:
— Char (Book 1)
— Ali (Book 2)
The Rock Star Trilogy:
— Jaded (Book 1)
— Faded (Book 2)
— Hated (Book 3)
The Kihanna Saga:
— The Fab Life (Book 1)
— I Hate Goodbye (Book 2)
— Stranded in Paradise (Book 3)
— It’s So Obvious (Book 4)
— I Need You (Book 5)
Stand Alones:
— Don’t Tell
— You Got Me
Acknowledgements
I am blown away by the number of people who messaged me, asking for more Kihanna. And I am SO THANKFUL to each and every one of you! If it wasn’t for you guys, this book wouldn’t be possible. I am so glad I decided to continue on with the series, because Kihanna wasn’t finished telling her story! Hopefully, she won’t be for a long time ;). I truly hope you enjoy the spin-off even more than the original, because I don’t ever want to stop writing these books!