by Lori Foster
He choked on a sudden laugh, something he hadn’t done in too many years to count. His day-to-day life didn’t consist of lighthearted moments. Few people ever used that hostile tone with him, even fewer demanded answers of him. But Celia, though she was pink-cheeked and fidgety, managed to dredge up the spunk. He took a sip of his coffee, letting her stew, then said calmly, “Just waiting for you to accept a few facts.”
She actually sneered at him, forcing him to repress another smile. “What facts? That you’re a great lover? Ha! I’ll never know, will I, when you keep running from the bed.”
He would not let her rile him. Her bravado was a front for the real issue—her hurt feelings. And he regretted that. “I’m good enough, but then you make the effort a real pleasure.”
She started to stand and he caught her wrist. “Don’t cause a scene, honey. Remember, you have a cover around here to protect.”
With the meanest look he could have imagined on such a sweet face, she reluctantly resettled herself.
“Now,” he said, keeping his hold on her delicate wrist, “I wasn’t insulting you. No, just listen. I want you, Celia. Don’t doubt that, but like I told you, I’ll be damned before I add to your skewed perspective on what’s shameful and what isn’t.”
She toyed with her napkin. “After what you…we did, we might as well have…you know.”
Taking another sip of unwanted coffee, he stalled for time. He had to play his hand carefully, had to measure his every word. “Do you feel dirty this morning, honey?”
Judging by her reaction, he should have measured a little more. Her small hands fisted on the table and the color in her face now was from anger, not embarrassment.
“Is that it, Alec?” She spoke in a low whisper, mindful of the one other couple in the café so early in the morning. “Are you out to use my own weaknesses against me? If you’re hoping I’ll give up on Hannah and go home just because you can make me—”
She gasped when he stood and pulled her up from her chair. “Not another word, lady.”
She jerked her arm free and turned to walk out. Alec threw money on the table and followed her. Leaving the restaurant was fine by him; what he planned to say to her would be better said without an audience.
Celia stomped across the motel parking lot and started up the outside stairs to her room without once turning to see if Alec followed. That added to his rage as he wrapped his arm around her waist and steered her toward his truck instead. When she started to fight him, he tightened his grip. “Oh no, you’re not getting off that easy. We have plans to make today and regardless of your temper, we’ll stay on schedule. You want to save little Hannah, well fine. But we’re definitely going to get a few things straightened out first.”
The day was already sweltering, and heat rolled off the blacktop parking lot in waves. It was nothing compared to his ignited temper. He opened the truck door then waited while she threw him a malicious look before climbing in.
Alec slammed his own door hard enough to rattle the interior. He jammed the key in the ignition, hit the button to lock both doors, then gripped the steering wheel with all his might. Losing his control wouldn’t help anything. Oh, Celia was doing her best to act unconcerned, but he knew her well enough by now to read her every thought, and he had her nervous. Rather than cooling his temper, that put it over the edge and he jerked around to face her, barking, “Goddammit, I would never hurt you so stop cowering in the damn corner!”
She bristled up like an angry racoon. Shooting across the seat to face him nose to nose, she yelled, “You don’t scare me!”
A red haze clouded his vision. Very slowly, his arms crept around her, keeping her from retreating. “Then tell me what you’re thinking, damn it.”
She hesitated only a moment, biting her lip before lifting her chin. She didn’t try to escape his hold, and that was a blessing, because Alec felt entirely too possessive and territorial to have her inching away. He wanted her close, and he wanted her to admit to liking it, too.
She touched the front of his shirt. “I don’t understand you, Alec. I don’t know what you’re doing or why you suddenly got so mad.”
Alec dropped his forehead against hers, and allowed his hands to tighten on her just a bit, bringing her breasts closer, arching her into his body. He took several slow breaths, regaining control. “I’m sorry.”
Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. Obviously she hadn’t expected that. And with good reason. He couldn’t remember ever apologizing to anyone before, at least, not since he’d been a kid, not since he’d learned his own lessons.
To further surprise them both, he admitted, “I don’t like it when you compare me to Raymond.”
Celia shook her head, her confusion apparent. “I didn’t.”
“Oh yeah you did.” He released her to face the windshield, staring out at the hazy sunshine and the few clouds in the sky. “You do it all the damn time. Raymond is the one who used you, not me. Raymond is the one who played games with your body and your feelings. Not me.”
She bristled again, her face going hot and her eyes glittering, though this reaction was tempered with confusion. “And you don’t think what you did last night or this morning qualifies as a game?”
“No.” He turned his head toward her, but his hands gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turned white. “When I’m making love to you, it’s strictly for pleasure, mine and yours. It’s not to hurt you in any way, or to manipulate you.”
She barked out an incredulous laugh. “You never take any pleasure!”
He stared at her. “Just seeing you is a pleasure. If you think I can look at you buck naked, that I can make you scream when you come, and not enjoy the hell out of it, you’re not as smart as I thought you were.”
Her face flamed again, but her eyes turned softer, more accepting. “That’s not what I’m talking about, Alec.”
He thumped the steering wheel once with a fist. “I want you to trust me. That’s all. I want you to see that what’s between us is damn good.”
She crossed her arms beneath her breasts. “For as long as it lasts?”
He didn’t like the way she said that, as something of a challenge. But he wouldn’t let her corner him into making false promises. He turned away and started the truck. “Nothing lasts forever. But in the meantime, we’re wasting a hell of an opportunity.”
“What if I want more, Sharpe?” Her bravado had her once again facing him down, and this time he resented the hell out of it. “What if I want all the things Dane and Angel have?”
He swallowed, feeling a sudden constriction in his chest. He almost said, What if I don’t have that to give, but he bit the words back at the last moment. Giving away that much of himself wouldn’t do.
He put the truck in gear and pulled into the early-morning traffic, giving himself plenty of time to think.
“Alec?”
Now she sounded uncertain again and he hated it. “I don’t know. Until Dane found Angel, I’d have said it wasn’t possible. But things seem to be…working out for them.” He knew he sounded like an idiot, but this was one topic that made him extremely nervous. And he didn’t like the feeling worth a damn.
She laughed, incredulous. “They adore each other!”
Turning a corner in the road, he asked, as nonchalantly as possible, “Do you adore me?”
A thick silence filled the truck and he felt himself beginning to sweat despite the icy air blasting from the truck’s air conditioner. “That’s what I figured. So why all the questions about happily ever after? Why not just take what we can for right now and enjoy it?”
She avoided that question by asking one of her own. “Where are we going?”
“I have to find a place to stay other than with you. It’s possible Jacobs will have you watched. If I bunk down with you on occasion, that’s fine. He’ll expect it of you and it’ll only shore up your image of being the type of woman he can approach. But moving in with you entirely is out of the qu
estion. Jacobs doesn’t prey on women who have protectors.”
“You’re finally admitting that I was right? That Jacobs is scum using women like Hannah? My, my. This is turning into one eventful day.”
Alec hid his grin behind a look of reproach. She was so full of herself, taunting him. But he preferred that any day over her insecurities or her damn questions about the future. “I did my research, honey. I know what Jacobs is capable of and I never denied that he’s a bastard, only whether or not Hannah appreciated the setup he gave her. If she’s really unhappy with him, why doesn’t she just call her mother and go home?”
Another of those heavy, uncomfortable silences filled the truck and Alec regretted his words. He didn’t want to put her back in a dark mood. But then she turned to face him, and her determination was plain to see.
“You wouldn’t know what it’s like, Alec. You’re strong and independent and able to take care of yourself and any situation. I can’t imagine anyone or anything ever really hurting you.”
She made it sound like an insult, as if along with his strengths he’d become too empty to care. “I’m not invincible, damn it.” Far from it, he thought, briefly focusing on the past and a time that was too painful to remember for long.
“You sure seem invincible to me. You see everything as black and white and you always stick to your convictions. But I remember how ashamed I was after Raymond turned out to be such a user.”
“Celia…” He didn’t want to talk about Raymond again. If he could, he gladly would have erased the man from both their memories.
She didn’t plan to give him any choice. “You can just sit there and listen, Alec Sharpe!” When he remained silent, she continued, though she was obviously ruffled just a bit. “I started wondering about Raymond long before I knew how truly evil he was. But by then, everyone knew I had planned to marry him, and my mother accepted him, and you and Dane never once questioned me about him.”
Alec glared at her. “Dane thought you were happy. He didn’t want to do anything that would hurt you.”
“And what was your excuse?”
Alec narrowed his eyes again and said through his teeth, “I knew if I got too damn close to you, which included poking my nose into your business, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you. I wanted to get rid of Raymond just so he wouldn’t be in my way.”
Celia blinked at him, awed by this outpouring of confessions. “I…I had no idea.”
“Bull. From the second we met, you felt the pull as much as I did. Don’t lie about it now.”
She tightened her mouth, but didn’t deny it. “All right, maybe I had a clue or two. But you’re not an easy man to figure out and I had my hands full already. I was too embarrassed to admit what an awful mistake I’d made with Raymond, that I didn’t love him and didn’t want to marry him, that I had been duped so thoroughly.”
“You weren’t the only one he had fooled.”
“He didn’t fool you. Right from the start you seemed to despise him, and Raymond never understood it. He’d talk about you sometimes, in this almost fearful, reverent way. But he got really angry if I even mentioned your name.”
“You mentioned me to him?”
“Oh, for pity’s sake. Don’t look so smug.” Celia rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Mostly I talked about what a reprehensible character you seemed to be.”
Alec laughed.
Another silence stretched out, and Alec glanced at her.
Celia wrung her hands. Speaking in a soft, nearly inaudible voice, she said, “Whenever I mentioned putting the wedding off, Raymond would…”
“Celia.” He wasn’t at all sure he needed to hear this.
“He’d take me to bed.”
She closed her eyes and Alec wished he could do the same. Thinking of her with Raymond tortured him. But this was obviously something she wanted to get off her chest, and if it would ease her, he’d listen. “Go on.”
“Everything he’d taught me was so new and exciting. At first I thought I loved him, and that made it seem okay. But little by little, I resented the way he used my…sexuality against me. He’d taunt me over how easy I was and tell me how shocked my family would be if we didn’t marry considering I acted like a…a…” She hesitated, drawing a deep breath.
Alec reached over and clasped both her hands. “Like a what, honey?”
“A bitch in heat.”
He squeezed her fingers and offered her a slight smile. “Then what would that make me, since I can’t seem to think about anything other than staking a claim on you? Right now, Celia, if you asked me and meant it, I’d pull this truck over and you’d find your jeans around your ankles before you had time to blink.”
She stared at him, shocked, then she laughed. “Why, you sweet talker you.”
Alec laughed, too, though he wanted and needed her so bad he didn’t know how much longer he could hold out. “I have no finesse where you’re concerned, honey. You make me feel raw.”
She drew a long slow breath and stared at him. “You really are a sweet talker.”
Alec shrugged that off. “I keep telling you, Raymond was an ass. Any man who had you and didn’t appreciate it is too stupid to waste breath on.”
As he finished that declaration, he pulled into a motel and parked his truck. Turning in his seat, he drew her closer and kissed her, moving so his mouth opened, his tongue immediately stroking deep. Against her lips, he whispered, “After I’ve had you, you won’t have the energy to think of him. That’s a promise. The only question now is when.”
THE MOTEL ALEC CHOSE based on immediate vacancy was actually fairly close to her own by the way the crow flies. However, using the busy roads, it took a good twenty minutes to reach her. This concerned Alec, but Celia insisted there wasn’t anything she’d need him for that couldn’t wait that long. She didn’t want to add to Alec’s pressure, since he was actually working with her under duress.
His motel was even seedier than her own, with a horrid bathroom complete with cracked tiles and she’d be willing to bet a lack of hot water. But Alec never blinked an eye at the utilitarian setting. He stowed his few things, made a couple of quick calls, then bundled Celia back into his truck. They spent most of the morning and afternoon shopping.
By the time they were done, Alec had purchased a cell phone for her and a few other precautionary items, like pepper spray and a “screamer,” a small can that literally screamed when the nozzle was compressed. Celia tried it once, and got to see just how fast Alec could move. He had it out of her hand and was glaring at her within a heartbeat. She’d felt compelled to offer a mumbled apology, but in truth, she had to hide her smile.
Alec really didn’t frighten her anymore. In fact, he almost made her feel cherished.
The precautions he took with her safety didn’t feel like a lack of trust, but rather very deep concern for a woman he cared about.
She was pondering that vague possibility when Alec said, “Tell me again what my number is.”
“Alec, I have it memorized. We’ve been over it a dozen times.”
“Tell me anyway. I want to make damn sure that if something goes wrong, you know it by heart. You might not have time to think about it…”
She recited the number.
“Good. Now, I put the number in the memory, so all you have to do is dial 1, but—”
“Alec.” She shook her head at him. “If the number is in the memory, why did I have to learn it?”
He touched her cheek. “What if Jacobs catches on to you and takes your phone? Or what if you manage to lose it? You might have to use a pay phone. It’s best to cover all the bases, babe.”
“Okay.” She no longer felt the need to fight him on every issue. Strange how sometime during their drive, her attitude had changed. Oh, she was still wary. And she didn’t yet trust herself to give in to him completely. But she also wanted him, and she knew he felt the same. Only he suffered no guilt, no embarrassment at all. He’d told her that her sex drive was �
�healthy.”
Around him, she was in the peak of health.
“Yoo-hoo. Miss Carter?” Alec waved a hand in front of her face. “You want to join me here so we can make these plans, or do you want to stand there daydreaming?”
“You have my undivided attention, Alec.”
The look he gave her was skeptical. “Uh-huh. I could tell you were on full alert.” He leaned against the wall of her motel room and crossed his arms over his chest. “Do you have something sexy to wear tonight?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Make sure it’s not too sexy, all right? I don’t want to be forced to diffuse a riot.”
She felt her cheeks warm. Alec honestly thought she was sexy enough to turn heads, and his confidence helped shore up her own. “I’ll be discreetly sexy.”
Another skeptical look, as if he didn’t think such a thing was possible. “Show up on time. I’ll be there around four o’clock, but you shouldn’t show up until seven. I don’t want anyone to think we’re together in any way.”
“What should I say if someone asks me? After all, they all noticed us leaving together yesterday.”
Alec shrugged. “Say I was lousy in bed.”
Celia choked and had to turn quickly away. She paced the small confines of the room, stepping around her exercise equipment. “Maybe I’ll say you bored me.”
“Whatever. But remember to pay me no mind, no matter what I do.”
That had her whipping around. “What do you plan to do?”
“Flirt. Pick up other women.”
Groping for the edge of the bed, Celia sat down. Alec came over to stand directly in front of her, which put her eye level with his zipper. He crossed his arms over his chest and growled, “You already know I don’t want anyone but you, Celia. But I have to act like the average bar groupie, and that means I’ll have to act drunk, obnoxious, and horny.”
Celia gulped. “Will you actually—”
“Sleep with anyone? Hell no. My health means a little more to me than that.”
She wanted to crumble in relief, but instead she pushed to her feet and tried to get Alec to back up. He didn’t.