Cairo. My lovely enemy from earlier. His eyes are glowing silver now. I wonder how I ever thought they were grey. He claims that he’s always known that I’d come as a teenage girl, he told them and no one would believe it! He’s been prepared for years, real prophesising that is. He can pleasure girls better than any of the other boys standing here. It says so on the pleasure scale on the wall, all I need do is look.
Indeed there is a pleasure scale on the wall. He can pleasure girls, apparently, better than any other boy here except for one they just call ‘Metador’. Cairo thinks it’s ridiculous that Metador is still on the wall, he’s been dead two years.
The girl with the ponytail speaks cheekily. Yes, but he’s not dead in their memories. An astounding amount of women giggle at this.
I am amazed at my people. I really am.
Number ten is too busy trying to stop a fight between boy-one and boy-two to make any declaration. They are using sharpened cow bone and forks as weapons respectively.
“I don’t know how I could choose between such worthy suitors.” I say.
I am just buying time until I can figure out what to do. There is no way I can possibly take a husband.
Something tells me that it would be a major insult to these boys not to so.
The father of our ponytailed girl makes a loud comment about women being afraid of commitment. This gets a few laughs. Then he begs me to find his daughter a match. Honestly, he wants to get her off his hands. There is laughter across many of the tables at this. One man shouts out that he knows that feeling.
I solve this problem by using my name to marry her to number ten, who she has been gazing at the whole time he’s been trying to stop the fight. It is unexpected to both of them that this should be my will, but they more than graciously accept it.
They are both absolutely delighted, I can tell. The smile she gives me is so sweet it would break a child’s heart. He looks like all his Christmases have just come at once.
I am glad that I could do this for them. It wouldn’t do to have either of them ending up with their siblings I think. Her Dad gives me a hug.
I use this time to try to figure out a plan.
The whole of my people are looking at me now. I heard a story earlier about a man who got eaten for cheating on his marriage vows. They take marriage quite seriously here.
People are still cheering for the two teenagers I just matched. A lot of people are wishing them well.
While this is happening a small man with white hair walks up to our table. He speaks to Riley in hushed tones. This is not meant for everyone’s ears.
I listen. My curiosity is still a fault of mine.
The man tells Riley that the Weaklings have found out about the weapon that can kill him.
Riley is absolutely livid. He asks the man how ‘the weaklings’ found out about the weapon.
The man doesn’t know that yet. A few of the lesser known people in the plantation could be double agents, he thinks.
I look down at Greg. He is shaking the hands of the new couple.
They are working on finding the betrayer. It won’t take them long. He promises Riley this.
Riley says it would be better for the person had he never been born.
I can feel the fear in my bones. No doubt they will find out the truth eventually.
I suddenly realise that there is only one way to keep my friend safe.
I stand up, my voice is urgent, “The boy I choose as my husband is Greg Harshaw.”
Chapter Ten
I surprised a lot of people with my announcement. They were all expecting me to pick from ‘the best ten’ that they put before me. There is a bit of confusion initially. This is followed by the loudest cheering I’ve ever heard in my life. The round of applause comes after.
It takes me a few minutes to be able to look at Greg.
He is astounded. The boy hasn’t moved from his table, so shocked is he.
The boy beside him is urging him to walk up to me.
He does eventually, only meeting my gaze when he’s still half way across the room. This is when he smiles. It’s not his usual smile of mischievousness.
This smile tells of his pure happiness in this moment.
My heart just sinks. This would be such a perfect moment if things were different.
They aren’t though.
I think Greg suspects this. The people are still cheering when he arrives up on the platform.
We stand beside each other, smiling. This is so that the Cezers won’t suspect that something is wrong.
The conversation is far from something to smile about.
“So you don’t love Daniel anymore?” He asks.
I can’t answer. I feel horrible.
“So you do,” he interprets my silence. “Then why did you just pick me?”
“To save us both from death,” I answer, still smiling for the people.
He just keeps on grinning.
His tone betrays his real feelings, “My life . . .”
I remember the drawings.
“Oh well,” he carries on. Suddenly the light seems to return to his voice, “I suppose that being fake-married could be fun.”
Before I know it he has swept me up into his arms. The cheering seems to grow louder.
“What are you doing?” I laugh.
“I’m being your fake-fiancé!” He answers.
I can’t believe how wonderful he is being about all of this.
I look into his eyes so that he knows I’m being genuine, “Thank you, Greg.”
He looks away from me for the first time. His gaze rests upon the people.
“Tonight is going to be crazy,” he informs me.
I have no doubt about that.
*
These people are wedding mad. I really underestimated just how crazy they would go for a ‘Goddess’ wedding.
My and Greg’s wedding, apparently, must be the best one this place has ever seen. They give me a new dress. It’s white with a little snake design, woven in golden threads, on the front. The poor clothes-maker must have been busy working on it all day. It goes down to my knees and very much makes me think of the kind of thing I might have bought for prom.
I am assigned a ‘helper-maid’, the best one they could find I am told. I am glad to see that it is the girl with the pony-tale, her name is London. She doesn’t have her monk style clothes on now. Instead she is wearing a pink cotton dress. This is because it is her wedding day. The boy I set her up with has been her crush forever, she told me. His name is Robert.
We have a ceremony where she pledges her allegiance to me by cutting her hand. Then she lets the blood fall on some tree. It is slightly too bloody for my taste but I am trying to let the people here do as they see fit. I am beginning to think that I could use my status as a ‘Goddess’ to maybe change a few things around here. The sacrificing of people must end for sure.
I don’t dare suggest these changes yet. In a few days I will mention them, if I don’t manage to escape before then.
London gives me some news. Before I change into my wedding outfit I must bath in the Lake of Impurity. I don’t really want to do this but she says that it is important to her people. She leads me outside and I suddenly feel how cold it is. Really, this is not a day for bathing in lakes. The lake is just at the back of the plantation. We don’t have to walk far.
Unluckily the whole town seems to have turned up for it.
Of course they have, it’s part of the ceremony.
A horror comes upon me. They expect me to bath with all of them watching? There is no way I can be naked in front of all of these people.
“You know what London, I am suddenly feeling quite ill. Perhaps we should do this some other time . . .” My protests are probably not going to succeed but I give it my best shot.
“All the more reason to bath,” London tells me happily. “The Lake of Impurity gets rid of the pre-wedding sickness.”
There is no way I am going to ge
t out of this. I don’t usually appreciate getting to wear clothes. From now on I really will.
All my people, once again, are looking at me. They are singing some chant. I don’t understand the words at all.
I look at the lake. It is glowing in magnificent moonlight now and stretches out as far as I can see. It really does look rather inviting, it would be more so if the weather wasn’t freezing. I bend down and put my hand into the water. It is absolutely freezing.
There is no easy way to remove your clothes in front of this amount of people. I wonder at how my life went from being normal to this in just a few days.
I listen carefully to the chant. It’s probably Latin. A small girl, dressed in white robes, is lighting candles all around the lake. I see the hope in her eyes.
They believe in me, these people. To them I’m a Goddess who has finally come home to save them.
They do not deserve to have their dreams crushed. I almost wish that I could lead them to this paradise they so wish to find.
“They believe in me,” I say it aloud, trying to gain strength from the words.
Ethereal would not be one bit afraid of doing this. She wouldn’t care that these people are looking, because she has power. She also wouldn’t be one bit bothered by the cold water. In fact, she probably would’ve done the ceremony while I was standing here being terrified.
I have to be her now. I have to stop freaking out. Mind over matter.
I take one last glance around at the lovely people gathered here. Then I close my eyes. I slowly pull down the zip at the side of my dress. My thoughts are on Greg. At least he isn’t here to see this. He is getting ready for our wedding somewhere else. This gives me a small bit of comfort.
I make an attempt at smiling. Then I step out of my dress. Suddenly I find that my eyes are open again. I am walking towards the water. Removing my underclothes is, for some reason I can’t fathom, easier than removing the dress. There is something that seems quite natural about undressing, now that I’m entering the water.
I don’t know why but the mood takes me to keep walking deeper and deeper into the lake. My willing it to heat up, strangely, seems to work. By the time my body is mostly submerged it’s quite warm. Suddenly, forgetting about the people, I get the urge to swim. The water is getting more wonderful by the minute. It cannot be my imagination that it is heating up at a steady rate; it’s warmer than a heated swimming pool now. I’m sure that it was freezing earlier.
There are so many stars in the sky tonight. They remind me of the night that I sat with Daniel by the fountain. He is the thing that keeps pulling me away from these people. He is the thing that I can’t learn to leave behind.
If it wasn’t for him I might actually stay here. This realisation takes me by surprise. These people have really grown on me in a short amount of time. It is like they are my people. Something, inside, tells me that this is where I’m meant to be.
I’m distracted from this thought because the chant changes. It’s in Latin again, but it is livelier and I can’t say that it isn’t a nice change from the last dreary one. I breathe a sigh of relief; this part of the ceremony must be over.
I swim back to the edge of the lake. London gives me a large towel. I hastily wrap it around myself. I’m surprised when three teenage girls from the crowd, all with distinctive auburn hair, undress themselves and swim to the middle of the lake. I wasn’t told about this part of the ceremony. These girls are also offered towels upon returning.
Everyone in the crowd seems to be looking at the one with the scar on her neck. I’m suddenly curious, it’s as if everyone is waiting with bated breath for what she’s about to say. It’s kind of nice not to have all the attention on me.
“The words of the old prophecies said that only the Great Goddess could make warm the waters of the ice lake.” She glances at me before continuing, “This girl has done so. She is truly our queen from the depths.”
*
I have no idea how I made that water warm. No one told me that I was supposed to do it either. I guess it was a test, from my people, to see if I was their Goddess truly. London told me, afterwards, that the lake has been freezing cold for a hundred years. Even on the sunniest day it would remain unchanged. I have, quite unwittingly, performed a miracle. Everyone is now completely convinced of my credentials, everyone except me.
I can’t be evil incarnate. If I was I would surely know.
Then how did I do that?
It is a complete mystery.
Riley laughed at me when I told him this. I need to ‘accept myself’ at this point, he argued. He told me that I will probably find ‘my true self’ very soon.
Then he asked me about Greg. He has figured out that the boy blabbed about the weapon. He knows that he can’t suggest killing a Goddess’s husband.
Riley congratulated me on my cunning.
He will make me pay for it, he promised.
I didn’t like the smile he gave me after this.
I warned him not to go near Daniel.
Once again, as he does, Riley changed the subject. He told me that he has power over men’s minds. This is how he gets all of these people to follow him. It has also helped him to run this cult, for all these years, without anyone on the outside figuring it out.
He asked me just how many times I think I’ve seen him in the last year.
Most days, I answered.
He revealed to me that I’ve only seen him twice in reality. His power is brilliant. He primarily uses it to fool people. Trickery is his favourite thing.
He uses his power as a weapon. He wishes that I would do the same.
I didn’t know what he meant.
He has power over men’s minds, he repeated.
I am the one who has power over men’s hearts.
My power is the ability to make them love me.
This is why boys fall for me so easily. This is why these people follow me so willingly.
I refused to believe it at first.
He gave me evidence. Why exactly would ten boys just offer themselves up for marriage to me? Why would Daniel be willing to die for me when he’s only known me for a few days?
I didn’t want to believe it. Unfortunately it did seem to make sense.
It is my power, without a doubt, Riley told me. He urged me to begin using it to my advantage.
I told him that I would never use my powers to hurt or control anyone. This didn’t seem to please him.
I think back on all of this as I get ready for my wedding now.
London and I are in a small room, at the back of a chapel, which is lined with flowers. It is fitted with one of the few mirrors in this village. Many girls have seen themselves for the first time in this mirror, London told me earlier. It is said to have magical properties which bestow blessings upon the marriage.
She hands me a bouquet of flowers now.
This makes me think of the bouquet Daniel gave me.
I need to get out of here, for him and for my Mom.
The realisation hits me that my Mom won’t be at my wedding. Whenever I dreamed about it she was here. This is only a fake wedding but her absence still gets to me.
London, examining my face, tells me that everything is perfect. There is no need to be worried, she assures me.
She grins now and asks me whether I am excited about it all. I’m so completely nervous but I can’t help smiling back. It is supposed to be the ‘happiest day of my life’ after all.
She sits down beside me, radiating happiness. We both just start giggling now. I can’t even say why.
I can’t believe how like sisters we’ve become already.
She looks me in the eyes, “Seriously though, it’ll be fine. You’re marrying a great guy. Greg is so smart and funny . . . kind and loyal . . . he’s dead gorgeous too.”
She goes off into a daze and I have to click my fingers in front of her eyes before she is animated again. I begin to wonder whether it is a good idea to have her around my fake husban
d. Then she starts telling me of her own wonderful wedding earlier. Her Robert is going to build them a house tomorrow, using only his hands. After that he will make a rainbow appear. Then, if he’s not tired, he is going to cook her some veal. This will, of course, all be topped off by a night of impurity. Yes, her Robert is the most perfect man in the world, no offence to the guy I’m marrying or anything.
She goes off into dream-world again and I suddenly don’t feel so worried. The girl is obviously smitten with Robert. Looking at her would almost convince you that true love does exist. This is exactly the kind of feeling I need before going through with this wedding.
*
Riley, quite ironically, is the one who gives me away. He is my family here after all.
He is not very good at ‘giving away’ to be honest. On the way up the isle he smiles and tells me that he hopes my new husband will suffer a painful death.
This sentiment does not go nicely with the lovely, calm, wedding music playing.
I tell Riley that he should relax now and again. He replies that I remind him of his brother.
I feel proud.
Then I see Greg for the first time. He looks breathtaking, having been done up for the wedding. I almost forget to keep walking.
I find myself wishing that tonight were a real wedding night for a few moments.
My appearance seems to have an impact on Greg too. This probably has something to do with the hour London spent making me ‘wedding style pretty’. My new ‘husband’ looks pretty amazed. He never takes his eyes off of me once he catches sight of me.
Neither of us can help smiling when I reach the top. It reminds me of when we were six and we got ‘married’ in secret. Our friend Paul was the ‘priest’ that time. We had sweets to celebrate. It was all very unusual, as you would expect.
This wedding is unusual also. The priest talks in Latin and I don’t know what, exactly, we are agreeing to. Our vows are made in English though. Greg tells me that ever since we were young I was a light in his world of darkness. The only light.
That was extremely nice. I try to avoid looking into his eyes for fear that I’ll see some truth in them. My vows come next. I tell him that I picked him because, in my heart, I know that he will always be the only one for me.
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