by Ambria Davis
What’s going on? I asked her in my mind. I still could hear Troy and Jayden in the background screaming for me to say something, but I couldn’t respond to them.
“You have to get to Louisiana as soon as possible. Your kids are headed there with their father, and they’re in danger. They need you, Amina.”
What? I asked, not sure if I heard her right.
“Your kids are in danger, and you need to get to New Orleans now. I will be watching you along the way, but you have to get going, now!”
But—
“No buts. You have to get going and make sure you take your friends along with you because you’re going to need their help!” Just like that, the voice was gone.
As I returned to my normal self, I jumped up out of Troy’s arms.
“Thank God. You scared the hell out of me!” she said, standing up to her feet. I didn’t answer her though. I hurriedly ran to the kitchen, with everyone in hot pursuit.
“Ma, what’s going on?” Jayden asked.
“I have to go!” I yelled, searching through one of the kitchen drawers.
“Go? Where are you going and what’s wrong?” he asked, walking over to me.
“I have to go. I need to find my car keys,” I screamed, searching through another drawer. “Troy, where are my keys?”
“They’re in your bedroom in your nightstand. What’s wrong, Mimi? Where are we going?”
I didn’t answer her. I bypassed all of them as I ran up the stairs to my bedroom. Spotting the nightstand, I quickly snatched the drawer to get my keys. Once I retrieved my keys, I ran out of the room, running into them headfirst.
“Ma, slow down. Tell us what’s going on and where are you trying to go,” Jayden gasped, trying to catch his breath.
“I have to go to New Orleans. My kids are in danger, and they need me. They need their mommy,” I said, breaking down.
“What do you mean they’re in danger?” he asked me.
“I don’t know, and I can’t explain it to you right now. All I know is that my kids are in danger and I’m going to get them,” I replied, moving past them, headed for the stairs.
“Hold up, ma. If you’re going, then I’m going with you.”
“And you already know I’m coming,” Troy replied.
“I don’t even need to say it,” Mark added.
“Well, come on, we don’t have much time. They’re already on their way there,” I said, running down the stairs toward the garage. I got in my car and started it up.
“We can’t go in your car, ma. They’ll recognize it. Let’s take the rental,” Jayden stated, opening the passenger door.
“I don’t care what we go in. Let’s just go.” I jumped out of the car, slamming the door so hard I almost broke the window. Troy was shutting the garage door as I hopped in the car.
“Are you going to tell us what’s going on?” Troy asked as she hopped in too.
“I’ll tell y’all on the way. Let me use your phone.” I shook my head to clear it. I needed a minute to process everything.
“We need to stop back at your crib to pick something up,” Mark said from the back seat.
“Well, hurry up then,” I snapped. I couldn’t help it. I was getting impatient. I was a mother, and I did what any mother would do if someone told them that their kids were in danger. I silently said a prayer as I begged God to watch over my kids because if something were to happen to them, I’d make someone pay—with their life.
We made it to the house exactly ten minutes later. I didn’t even get out. I was nervous and anxious that we weren’t getting on the road fast enough. I watched impatiently as Mark quickly dashed inside to get whatever it was he had to have. Two minutes after that, he was back in the car, and we were on our way to New Orleans.
I didn’t know what was going on, but I knew one thing for sure: if anybody hurt one strand of hair on my kids’ heads, I would personally add to the total that gave New Orleans the nickname the Murder Capital, and I wasn’t playing.
Chapter 12
Jade
Something told me to double back and see what was going on at Kaylin’s house. I didn’t know why, but I actually listened to whatever that was. I parked down the street and noticed the car still parked in the driveway. I got out and snuck down to the front of the house so I could see what was going on.
When I made it to the front door, I noticed that the garage door was open, so I quietly made my way over to it. I got pissed off again thinking about how that bitch was living the lifestyle I wanted. I was standing there fuming when I heard screaming coming from the house. Just when I put my ear to the door, I heard someone screaming Mimi’s name. I thought I was tripping at first, but then I heard it again.
I heard some more screaming. Then someone mentioned going to Louisiana. That’s when I hauled ass to my car to wait and see what was going to happen next. When I got in the car, I rolled my window down a bit as I mentally replayed what I heard. I knew Mimi wasn’t in there because she was dead. So why were they in there screaming her name? I didn’t have time to answer my own question because I vaguely saw someone running to the car that was parked in the garage. They jumped in and started it up.
As I watched the scene play out, someone else went to the car, but then he shut the door and started walking out of the garage. When the person exited the garage, I noticed that he was the dark-skinned dude with dreads who was with that bitch Troy. He walked to the car that was parked in the driveway, got in, and started it up. Following him were the light-skinned dude and a chick. When I saw her, I gasped in shock. It was dark, and my eyes were obviously deceiving me because the chick looked just like Mimi. Taking a second look, I damn near bugged out. This chick didn’t just favor Mimi. It was Mimi herself.
“Oh, hell no. I thought she was dead!” I exclaimed. I watched as she got into the car as well, with Troy following close behind.
The car then pulled out of the driveway in a hurry. I started my car and followed them. As I drove along at a safe distance, I tried to figure out how Mimi was actually alive and not dead.
“Fuck!” I screamed, banging on the steering wheel. “I thought this bitch was already dead and gone! Now I got to add her to my list of people to get back at!”
I followed them at a steady but careful pace. I didn’t want them to get suspicious and figure out that I was following them. Ten minutes later, they pulled up to a house, and the passenger’s back door opened.
“What the hell are y’all doing?” I asked softly, as if they could’ve heard me. I watched as dude got out of the car and ran inside, while everyone else stayed inside the car with it still running. I parked my car a few houses down with the engine still on, as I tried to figure out what they were up to. A few minutes later, dude came running out of the house with a bag in his hand. He then walked to the back of the car, placed the bag in the trunk, and got back in. Then they pulled off, and I followed at a safe distance.
The minute they got on the interstate, it confirmed their destination for me. In fact, we were headed to the same place: Louisiana. I guessed they also knew where Kaylin was and they were going after him. I wasn’t about to let them get to him before me though. I quickly switched lanes and picked up speed because, just like them, I was on a mission. This time, I wasn’t about to let Mimi defeat me. I guessed Louisiana was about to get turned up a bit, because I wasn’t planning on leaving without what I came there for.
Chapter 13
Mimi
Five Hours Later
We made it to Louisiana in no time. I didn’t sleep the entire trip. My whole ride was spent worrying about my kids, wondering where they were and if they were okay. I tried to think happy thoughts, but I couldn’t. My mind was getting the best of me. We drove through the Ninth Ward, and I swear it felt like we never left. I could honestly say that nothing about this place had changed. There were still crackheads and drug dealers on the corners, kids playing in the streets, and many buildings still abandoned and run-down. Typical New
Orleans, I thought, sadly shaking my head.
I realized we were on the same street as my old building, and I told everyone we were going to make a detour. There were old questions I needed answers to, and the only person I knew who could give me those answers was the bitch who gave birth to me twenty-seven years ago. Quickly, I mentally prepared myself for the visit. I hadn’t seen this woman in years, and if it weren’t for the fact that I had to come down here, then it would’ve stayed that way. I really didn’t have much to say to her, because she was never the mother I needed. She was more like my master than my mother. I remembered there were days and nights I used to go without eating. There were times she would wake me up out of my sleep on school nights just to clean up after her. I reflected on the many hurtful names that she called me because she couldn’t have the one person that she wanted the most: my father.
I never really understood her. I mean, how could you let a man bring you down like that? She never gave a fuck about me. She only had me because she thought that it would keep him, but I guess she was surprised when it actually pushed him away instead. That was the reason why she treated me poorly. She was the main reason why I’d always felt low. It was because of her that I was never too sure about myself, until I met Kaylin. Now that he’d done this to me, I didn’t know what to think about myself anymore. I was starting to believe that I was a black widow or something, like it was meant for me to be alone.
Pulling up to the building, I just sat there and looked. The building itself looked like it was going to fall down any minute now. I didn’t know how anyone could live there. I was nowhere near prissy, because I knew where I came from, but I knew that I wouldn’t have continued to live there with the building in that condition.
Grabbing the jacket that was sitting on the back seat, I put it in and threw the hood over my head. I wasn’t ready for everyone to know that I was still alive just yet. I knew that if people saw me, then it would get to Kaylin and Stacy, and I didn’t want them to leave with my kids. I wanted them to be surprised when they saw me. I wanted to see the panic and shock on their faces as they saw the fury on mine.
“Do you want me to come inside with you?” Troy asked.
I swallowed hard, trying to remove the lump in my throat. I managed to croak out, “Yes.”
We got out of the car and made our way into the building. It was too early outside for these crackheads to be out here looking for crack. I spotted the dude Lucky and quickly picked up the pace, because if he saw me, then Kaylin would know for sure.
I was walking so fast that poor Troy had to run to keep up with me. Like all ghetto hallways, the one in this building smelled just like strong piss. I had to cover my nose to keep from gagging. Walking up the stairs, I notice a big-ass rat sitting in a corner. All I could do was shake my head because the City of New Orleans was wrong as hell for this shit. They’d rather spend money on stupid shit than fix up the projects around this city.
With each step, I came closer to the apartment my mother stayed in. My heart began to beat faster and faster. Hell, I hadn’t seen this woman in years. This would be one hell of a reunion, considering we never really liked each other. When I got to the door, I paused.
“It’s okay. Take your time,” Troy whispered behind me. I nodded my head as I took a minute to calm my nerves down. When I was ready, I softly knocked on the door.
“If you keep knocking like that, we’ll be out here all day,” Troy said. She was right. I knocked like a punk. Stepping aside, I let her knock. She began beating on the door so loud, I stepped farther to the side because I didn’t want the occupant to fire a shot through the door.
“Bitch, chill out. You knockin’ like you the police,” I said, grabbing her hand.
“Hell, it was better than that punk-ass knock you did,” she said, rolling her eyes. I was about to answer her when I heard a voice coming from the other side of the door.
“Who the hell is it? Shit, knockin’ on the damn door hard like that and shit,” a female voice yelled, but I couldn’t tell whose voice it belonged to.
“It’s Troy. Is Marie there?” Troy yelled back.
“Yeah,” the person responded, opening the door. My mouth instantly flew open at the person before me. She was so small, like she was suffering from malnutrition or something. Her hair was broken off, and her clothes were just hanging off her. I kind of felt sorry for her.
“Um, is Marie here?” Troy asked again.
“Yeah, it’s me, Troy. What do you want?” she replied, catching an attitude.
Troy didn’t answer her. She just stood there staring with her mouth wide open. I stood off to the side where Marie couldn’t see me, but I could catch glimpses of her.
“Um, you just gonna stand there, or you gonna tell me what you came here for?” Marie asked with her hands on her frail hips.
“Um, I came to talk to you. Can we come in?” Troy said, finally snapping out of her state of shock.
“Sure.” She shrugged, walking away from the door.
Troy and I exchanged a quick glance. “Come on,” she mouthed while motioning with her hand.
“Go ahead, I’m comin’ right behind you,” I said to her.
She walked inside, and I followed right behind her, making sure to close the door behind me. When I walked inside the apartment, I gasped. There was not one piece of furniture in there. The place had beer cans and bottles all over the place. I wanted to ask her how she could live like this, but it wasn’t my business.
“What do you want? I already know about Amina’s funeral, so if you’ve come all this way to tell me that, you wasted your time,” she said, not turning around. I wanted to say I was hurt, but I wasn’t, because I already knew how this woman was.
“Um, you don’t have to worry about that, because there won’t be a funeral,” Troy said to her.
“How come?”
“Because I’m not dead. I’m alive,” I said. I watched as her back stiffened. I could tell that she wasn’t expecting me to be here.
“What are you doing here?’ she asked with her back still turned.
“I came here for answers.”
“Answers? Answers to what?”
“Answers to things I should’ve asked you,” I said, stepping from behind Troy.
“I don’t have anything to say to you, so you’ve wasted your time coming here.”
“Why do you hate me? What could I possibly have done to you that made you so evil toward me? As I can recall, I don’t remember doin’ anything to you.”
“Amina, please leave.”
“No, turn around and face me. I need to know why you treated me bad for so long,” I said to her. I wasn’t about to go anywhere.
“Get your ass out of here.” She didn’t even bother to turn around.
I got fed up, walked over to her, and spun her around myself. “Look me in my eyes and tell me why you’ve mistreated me for so long. I need to know because from what I recall, you treated me like shit. Was it because that nigga didn’t love you or was it because you couldn’t love yourself? Were you mad because I was prettier than you? No, it must be because I had a head full of hair. Which one was it?” I asked, with tears pouring out of my eyes. I wanted to know, and she needed to give me an explanation, because I sure as hell wasn’t leaving without it.
“Come on, tell me!” I screamed. “After all these years, now you wanna be quiet? You’ve always said what was on your mind. Why won’t you say the shit now?”
She just stood there, still as a statue, looking at me. In all my years of living with her, I never knew her to be this quiet.
“You know what? Don’t even worry about it. I already know the answer,” I said to her. “Just so you know, all the things you said and did to me ain’t did shit but make me a better woman and mother than you could ever be. Every day I prayed and asked God to give me the strength to forgive you, and you know what? He has, and I’m actually glad that I have. Otherwise, I would’ve been a bitter bitch just like you. Come on,
Troy, let’s get out of here!”
I stepped back from her and took her in from head to toe. I was about to say something else, but I changed my mind. She wasn’t even worth it. She was always going to be the same bitter bitch she’d been since I was a teenager. I shook my head at her and turned to leave. I was almost out the door when she decided to speak.
“You want to know why I hate you, Amina?” she asked, making me stop in my tracks. “Is that what it is? You want me to tell you why I hate you?”
“Yeah, that’s what I want to know,” I said, turning around. I walked back over to her and stood in front of her. “Tell me why you hate me.”
“Hate you. You think I hate you? What I felt toward you wasn’t hate. I never did hate you. I think the proper word would be envied. I’ve always envied you. In fact, I’ve envied you since the day you was born,” she said, looking at me. “From the minute I brought you into this world, you was a happy baby. No matter what went down, you always had a smile on your face. I always found myself wondering how you could be so happy when you was brought into a world like this. We were poor, your father wasn’t here, and yet you was still happy. You didn’t have enough food to eat or clothes on your back, but you was still happy. While I was falling into a deep depression over a man I knew would never be mine, you was here being happy. No matter what happened in your life, whether it was good or bad, you never let anything get to you. You had a ‘fuck what people think’ attitude that I wished I had. You had a shitload of courage and confidence, but I had nothing. That’s why I treated you the way I did. It wasn’t because I hated you. It was because you was the woman I wished I could’ve been,” she cried as I watched the tears fall from her face.
“Happy? You thought I was happy? My whole life, you treated me like I was shit. I was never happy. In fact, I was far from it. I just knew how to actually hide my feelings, unlike you.” I didn’t know how she could figure I was happy, because I wasn’t. I never was happy when I was with her. She made sure of it.