“One of the overlord’s lessons.” His words were shaded with bitterness. “He’d failed to bring his own son to heel and he was determined to mold me, the child of his enemy, into a weapon. I was about thirteen and he summoned me to his chambers. I didn’t know why.”
His lids closed as he lost himself in the memory. “There was a young woman there. A slave. It was obvious he had used her, the sheets were stained with blood. I was old enough to know what that meant, even without the scent of sex. Inflicting pain aroused him.
“She was huddled in a corner shaking in terror. I just stood there. I knew if he saw any sign of weakness he’d punish me for it. So I just stared at her. He said, and this I remember clearly, ‘You’re a man now, so it’s time you prove it.’”
His eyes opened and Alison saw the horror he’d endured, etched on his face. “He ordered me to rape her.”
“Oh, God,” Alison shivered at the scene his words painted in her mind. “What did you do?”
His expression closed up. “Do you mean, did I go through with it?”
Slowly, Alison shook her head. “I know you didn’t. You don’t have that in you.”
His shoulders relaxed. “You’re right. As I looked at her, this pitiful creature who’d so obviously suffered, I couldn’t see a way out of it but one. I refused. And he laughed and called me weak. He was so fast, so damn strong. It was the blessing from the infinity pool. I thought that was it, that he would kill me for my defiance. But instead he took the knife, still coated with her blood, and he started cutting. He was meticulous, twisting the knife to deaden the nerves and taking enough flesh so it would never heal right.”
Taking her hand in his, he helped her trace the length of his scar. “I passed out from the pain of it at one point. And when I woke up I couldn’t see, my face was so covered in blood. But I could hear her screaming as he forced himself on her again. When it was finally over, he slit her throat and then spit on me. He told me that I was disfigured for life, so I’d better get used to taking what I wanted from women because I was so hideous one would never accept me.”
“Del.” She reached for him, her heart aching at what he’d endured, but he rose and moved away.
“We need to wake Ari. Gwella is expecting you at dinner.”
Alison rose from the water, realizing his change of subject was really about the shame of his confession. Stepping out of the tub, she wrung the excess water from her hair and reached for a towel. “He was wrong. I want you. I have from the moment I first saw you.”
He didn’t respond, just turned his attention to his niece. Alison watched him fuss with the little girl so gently and knew that she had lost a part of her heart to this man.
God help her if he ever found out.
15
Full dark had fallen by the time the scowling patroller led them to the bonfire. Despite the dangers lurking just beyond the fallen trees, the people of Daton Five laughed and danced and ate. Or maybe, Fenton mused, they celebrated because they knew firsthand how quickly it could all end and were determined to enjoy every breath as though they might not get another.
Gwella directed Alison to sit on her left at the stone table, which was hardly more than a flat-topped boulder. She raised an eyebrow when Fenton lowered himself beside Alison, but didn’t comment. Ari perched in the crook of his arm, full and clean. His niece grinned toothlessly, charming everyone around her.
A young man deposited a bowl in front of him. It appeared to be constructed from half a petrified gourd and filled with some pale orange mush. Fenton tilted his head and wondered how he could eat while holding Ari and whether it would offend anyone if he asked Alison to hold her for the two minutes it would take to slurp down the bowl’s contents. His stomach rumbled.
The man who’d brought his food held out his hands. “I’ll take her while you eat.”
Fenton was about to refuse, unwilling to let the little one out of his sight, when he felt Alison’s fingers on his thigh. She squeezed once before removing her hand, never turning from her conversation with Gwella. Gritting his teeth in what he hoped passed for a smile, he handed the baby to the young man.
Turning, he saw Gwella stare at him, her gaze cool and assessing. She nodded once and turned to her own meal. Alison had been right, he had to demonstrate trust or the empress would have taken offense.
“Very good.” She leaned back, observing them. “I’d like to extend a measure of trust. The patroller guarding you is needed elsewhere. Will you give me your word that you and your breeder will not cause trouble?”
Alison looked at him and he nodded once. Getting rid of their sour-faced guard would allow him even more mobility.
“Excellent.” Gwella turned back to her bowl, a pleased expression on her face.
“This is delicious.” Alison scraped the remaining soup into her bowl.
“My personal breeder’s recipe.” Gwella smiled at one of the men still ladling out food to the gathered congregation. “We grow most of our food in the green here. Mostly root vegetables or fruit that grows on vines. It can grow tiresome after a while, but luckily, he’s an excellent cook.”
Fenton tried to imagine taking pride in preparing a meal and failed. To him, food was simply fuel for his body. Sure, some things tasted better than others but if a protein cube kept him going as long as a gourmet dinner, why waste time fixing the latter?
Setting her spoon aside, Alison reached for her water glass. “Personal breeder? Do you have committed relationships?”
Gwella nodded. “Women are only allowed to enter in monogamous unions after yielding a female heir with another breeder, to keep the gene pool as varied as possible. It seems harsh at times, especially to the young and hot-blooded who assume love can conquer all, but we’ve had to take some drastic measures to survive. Many times our patrollers don’t make it to a second birthing.”
His gaze cut to Dani, who sat on Gwella’s other side. Her eyes were focused on her untouched dinner, her jaw clenched.
Alison nodded, her expression thoughtful. “So women are required to procreate here?”
Fenton couldn’t be sure, but he thought he saw her shudder.
Gwella gestured to a breeder to refill her cup. “Only if they wish to become patrollers. No woman can fight unless she has contributed to the next generation, preferably with a female to take her place in case she dies in combat.”
“Forgive my curiosity, but I’m wondering why you don’t just leave when you have the means? Your ship was impressive and could probably hold this entire settlement.”
Fenton’s chest swelled with pride. She was a skilled diplomat, fishing for information in a noninvasive way. Her probing was so gentle that the empress couldn’t possibly take offense. Not for the first time, he was glad he’d rescued her from Mig Larshe because he’d be lost without her.
Pushing her bowl aside, Gwella turned to face them. “The situation is . . . complex. Daton Five wasn’t always ruled by an empress. A millennia ago, this was an industrial world, brimming with scientific creation. We were open to trade, to exploration and advancement in every way. Our people were completely dependent on it, almost addicted to it, especially the men in power. For them, developments in technology meant greater control. The people lost touch with their heritage, all the unique traditions and knowledge forgotten in the need to acquire more.”
Gwella paused and drained her cup, her unfocused gaze on the roaring fire. Fenton suspected that the cup wasn’t filled with water like his and Alison’s.
“That unquenchable thirst was exploited by a man, a foreigner. He claimed to be a scientist from another world. We know little of his origins, only that he had a unique ability that the ruling faction wanted.”
“Oh?” Alison tilted her head to the sight, her hair gleaming in the firelight. “What was so valuable?”
“He could replicate himself.”
Every curse in every language Fenton had ever heard went through his mind. The phase split was a family trait, somet
hing encoded at birth. It only passed down on the Y chromosome. This man that had ruined Daton Five had been a relative of his.
“What happened?” Alison’s voice was soft.
“The stranger and the ruling faction experimented on animals, trying to reproduce what the man could do. Of course word got out, but instead of stopping them, other men joined in the game, racing each other to the end goal. Temporary cloning, how useful! Better to fight, to work, the ability to be in two places at once, who wouldn’t want that?”
Me, Fenton thought, more regretful than ever that he hadn’t gone to the apothecary and purged himself of the phase-splitting curse.
“Your scientists created the helcats by accident, trying to mimic the alien?” Alison whispered. Fenton wished he could see her face.
“Our men did.” Gwella spat the word as though it tasted bad. “Greedy, power hungry, thoughtless, careless men spliced animal DNA together, trying to create a breed strong enough to survive being pulled in two. The helcats were strong all right. Fast, vicious, and deadly. They were scheduled for termination when the power grid failed. They escaped into the wild, ten males and fourteen females. If the men in charge had reacted differently, we might have stood a chance. Instead, they hid the truth, covered up the escape, and tried to solve the problem quietly. It didn’t work. The beasts gestated so quickly, within a year they’d decimated our population to a fragment of what it had been, increasing their numbers by feeding on ours. By that time it was too late. We burned our own cities trying to kill them. With nowhere else to go we fled to the wild. Our reliance on technology, our inability to survive without it, nearly destroyed us all.”
“But you survived,” Alison said.
“Only because of my ancestor, Frieda. She gathered a small group here, mostly women, and taught them how to survive. It was tough at first, with no medicine for those who fell ill, not enough blankets when the snows came. But we persevered and vowed never to trust men to save us again. We leave when we have to, searching for things we need, something that might help us destroy the helcats and let us reclaim our home and rebuild.”
“But why not start over?” Alison asked. There was no chastisement in her tone, just mystification.
Gwella lifted her chin to a stubborn angle. “Where? We haven’t left our own solar system in more than a century. With no destination, no ability to replicate food and water, we can only take so much. We would die of starvation before we found a suitable place. It was decided we would rather die here, fighting for our home.”
Decided by whom? Fenton wondered, tucking into his mushy squash, though he wouldn’t voice it aloud. Dani turned to him, looking past her mother to him. She held his gaze for a long moment, long enough for him to read the defeat on her face. She didn’t want to die any more than she wanted to go on living the way she was, turning away from the man she loved.
He felt for her, but could do nothing to help her. He already had two females to save and a mountain of doubt that he could pull it off.
Excusing himself quietly, he went in search of Ari.
After the meal was cleared away, the dancing broke out in earnest. Alison had never seen anything like it. Everyone moved on his or her own, yet the group seemed to move in sync, almost like they had practiced it. But as the tempo altered from one song to the next, the fluidity continued. The natives of this world obviously had a better sense of rhythm than she did. Gwella and her breeder joined the throng, moving with the easy grace of a couple who recognized one another’s bodies and adjust their own to fit.
The dance seemed to be telling a story, perhaps the same one Gwella had related earlier about the history of Daton Five. But here the men towered over the women, strong from lives of demanding physical labor. They didn’t look cowed, didn’t hide behind their women, they appeared just as capable, fierce, and protective as any patroller.
And the women responded to it. In the corner she saw the sour-faced patroller that had been assigned to guard her and Fenton shed her armor until she wore only a thin camisole and loose pants. Two men ground against her, one from the front, the other from behind. She ignored them both as she loosened her hair and swung her hips with purpose as though the movement alone would erase the horrors she’d witnessed that day. Alison had thought her to be ugly before and desperately in need of a makeover and a decent haircut. Seeing her with her eyes closed and her face relaxed she appeared more sensual and enticing. No cosmetics or sexy lingerie were required to transform her into an alluring specimen. The men obviously thought so, as their hands skimmed over her supple body, moving in time with it. Alison wondered if she’d fuck them both, the way she did with both Fentons when he phase split.
Just thinking about him made her squirm, her eyes scanning for his familiar scarred visage. The things he’d told her about the way he’d grown up made her heart melt for him, and seeing such a robust man comply to the limitations that Gwella imposed on men here helped her see him for what he was.
A survivor, like her.
But unlike her he was selfless and had integrity. He cared about Ari and about her, even when doing so put him at risk. No amount of structure or derogatory remarks would bow that man.
When she didn’t see him she rose from the table and wove through the crowd. A few of the breeders rubbed up against her enticingly and while her body responded to their attentions, it was only a surface reaction, like blinking against harsh sunlight. Almost involuntary.
She was turned on, but only one man could quench the powerful need bubbling up inside her. Not just his magnificent body, but the look in his eyes when he saw her, the way his lips curled up into that half smile, his satisfied groans of pleasure when they engaged in something particularly filthy. Desire stronger than any she’d ever known propelled her onward, seeking him, needing him. Craving him.
If she didn’t know he wanted her just as badly, it would have been intolerable. But he did want her, need her, well past the point of sanity.
After completing her second circuit of the green, she looked back toward the honeycomb, to the room they’d been given. Had he taken Ari back there?
A lone figure perched on a rock beside the water. The familiar expanse of his broad shoulders filled her with relief, which was ridiculous. She was as safe as she could be on a planet filled with winged people-eating monsters. So why did she want to break into a run at the sight of him?
Because I missed him.
Closing her eyes, she accepted the truth. Del Fenton meant more to her than incredible sex. He didn’t possess the wealth she’d thought he did, had lost what he did have because of her. He fought the assassin for her, saved her, and she’d risked herself to save him too.
That meant something, even if she didn’t want to accept it. And after everything he’d done for her, he deserved to know that much at least.
“Del?” Her voice actually wobbled as she called out to him.
Those massive shoulders stiffened and he turned to face her. “Be careful, the rocks are slippery.”
“Where’s Ari?” she asked when she saw he was alone. She expected him to stand, offer her his hand to steady her, but he remained seated.
“Being doted on by the entire planet it seems. She’s a glutton for the attention.”
“You give her plenty.” She meant it as a compliment, but he scowled at her.
“You mean because of my ability?”
“No.” Confused and hurt by his standoffishness, Alison stopped. “What’s the matter?”
“It’s nothing.” Fenton looked back up the way he’d been doing before she called out to him. She followed his stare and could see a small gap in the roof, revealing a small sliver of the night sky beyond.
Moving closer, she placed her arm on his. “Tell me. Are you worried about the helcats?”
He withdrew from her touch. “Leave it alone, Alison.”
“What the hell’s the matter with you?” Here she’d been hunting for him for over an hour, and instead of throwing up her sk
irt and having at her he decided to throw a big fat mantrum instead. Didn’t it figure?
He turned to her then, seething with anger. She’d never seen him so livid, didn’t know he was capable of such an all-consuming rage. He wasn’t loud, but quiet, every word like a slap. “Did you tell her?”
“Tell who? What?”
“Gwella. Did you tell her about me, about my phase splitting?”
Her lips parted in surprise. At the time she’d been so caught up in Gwella’s story that she hadn’t thought the empress was describing Fenton’s ability, almost exactly. She felt like an idiot for not making the connection sooner, but she’d honestly forgotten. Was that what had him so riled? “No. It didn’t even occur to me.”
“So that’s the only reason you didn’t say anything to her.” His tone was flat and coated in disgust.
“Of course not. I know you don’t want that to get out.”
“So you’re saying you wouldn’t ever use it as a bargaining chip. My life and my niece’s life depend on you.”
“What do you mean, your life? You don’t really think Gwella would have you executed because of something not your fault.”
“Why not? The message in her story was pretty specific. Men are not to be trusted, especially alien men. I have the power that her ancestors killed each other for. Why wouldn’t she get rid of me the second she found out?”
“Well then, we can’t let her find out.” Alison lifted her chin and put her hands on her hips.
“All of a sudden you’re on my side? When only twenty-four hours ago you were ready to fuck your way into her good graces?”
Alison winced. The truth hurts. “I told you, that was a mistake, like a reflex.”
“A reflex?” He laughed without humor. “Like an automatic response? Forgive me if that doesn’t make me feel any more secure. All it’ll take is one slipup, Alison. I can’t always control it and if someone walked in at the wrong moment . . .” The words trailed off.
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