by K. Langston
Published by K. Langston
Copyright © 2016 K. Langston
Kindle Edition
Cover Design: Kari March
Editing: Wild Rose Editing
Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the author of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication and use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
For mature audiences only (18 and older).
Dedicated to my best friend, K.C. Lynn.
My hooch.
My partner in crime.
Thank you for believing in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself.
Writing with you is life.
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Epigraph
Prologue
Chapter One: Reid
Chapter Two: Cassidy
Chapter Three: Reid
Chapter Four: Cassidy
Chapter Five: Reid
Chapter Six: Cassidy
Chapter Seven: Reid
Chapter Eight: Cassidy
Chapter Nine: Reid
Chapter Ten: Cassidy
Chapter Eleven: Reid
Chapter Twelve: Cassidy
Chapter Thirteen: Reid
Chapter Fourteen: Cassidy
Chapter Fifteen: Reid
Chapter Sixteen: Cassidy
Chapter Seventeen: Reid
Chapter Eighteen: Reid
Chapter Nineteen: Reid
Chapter Twenty: Cassidy
Chapter Twenty-One: Reid
Chapter Twenty-Two: Cassidy
Chapter Twenty-Three: Reid
Chapter Twenty-Four: Cassidy
Epilogue: Cassidy
Sneak Peek of An Act of Courage
Author’s Note
Brothers In Blue Series
Sneak Peek of Sylvie
Greater love hath no man than this,
that a man lay down his life for his friends.
-John 15:13
Her love was like the ocean, deep and strong. Powerful enough to drown me, swallowing me up in the dark depths of her love.
But I wasn’t afraid of dying.
Only living without her.
Past
My fisted hand pounded on the wooden door, heart racing in my chest as I shifted my weight from foot to foot. I hadn’t seen him in two weeks, hadn’t heard from him in days. I couldn’t say the last time he was on a surfboard. He’d been hanging out with that piece of shit more and more lately and now he was on a downward spiral that could very well cost him everything.
Krull fucking Karter.
Since he came into Bodie’s life, everything had changed between us.
Anytime I tried to talk to Bodie about it he would shut me down, telling me to back off. That he had everything under control.
Yeah, right.
Like a fool, I believed him. I never thought it would get this far.
I pounded the door again, sweat dotting the bridge of my nose.
Where the fuck was he?
Finally, the door swung open and I sucked in a sharp breath. The heroin was destroying him. His eyes harbored dark shadows and his face had sunken in. His cheekbones more prominent than the last time I’d seen him.
Jesus, how’d I let it get this far?
There was a time when he was the best surfer in the whole world. We’d traveled the globe together, competed together. He was the victor of most of our competitions, and it surprised me, as competitive as I was, that I had been perfectly all right with that. I mean, I always gave my best, but Bodie was just…faster. A different breed when it came to the sport. He had an instinct that ran deep, an instinct I didn’t possess.
It’s difficult to remember the man he was when I barely recognize the man standing before me. Sure, he looked like Bodie, but different. His hair had grown out. It was greasy and unkempt. His once athletic body had lost its definition. He was a shell of his former self. Stoned off his ass and blowing through his winnings and endorsements faster than he could earn them. I knew he was avoiding me but I was putting an end to that shit today.
“’Sup, dude?” He grimaced, squinting at the midday sunlight behind me.
I glanced at my watch. “It’s three in the afternoon, you’re just now getting up?”
I wondered if he even knew what today was.
He scratched his scruffy face. “You come all this way to tell me what time it is?”
“No, I came all this way to check on you. I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for days. Where’ve you been?”
“Busy.”
Folding my arms across my chest, I raised a suspicious brow. “Doing what?”
“If you’re here to lecture me, you can turn around and leave. It’s too damn early for an interrogation.”
He left the door open and walked down the hall toward the kitchen. I stepped inside, closing the door behind me and followed.
Bodie lived in a beach house with his sister just off the Jersey Shore near Atlantic City. They never knew their father. Their mother, a successful real estate broker, had passed away one year ago today from renal failure—a complication of her diabetes. Her death nearly killed them both.
It was hard on everyone.
Bodie had been left with the responsibility of taking care of his younger sister, Cassidy, who recently turned sixteen. I knew he was carrying around a lot of heavy shit. He’d taken on a lot over the last year and being strapped with a sixteen-year-old wasn’t easy for a twenty-one-year-old who was at the peak of his career. He’d once been so focused.
Determined.
Ready to take on the world. There was a fire in his eyes. But that fire had burned out, doused by the poison currently running through his veins.
I didn’t know what else to do. I was hoping he’d come to his senses soon.
Before he lost everything.
Looking around, I cringed. Dishes were piled in the sink and fast food bags littered the space around it. I also caught a mountain of unopened mail piled up on the counter. Moving closer, I noticed a few that had been opened. The pink one on top had foreclosure written across the top of it.
Fuck, he’s in deeper than I thought.
He opened the fridge, pulling out a beer, and I noted that except for two more, there was nothing else in there.
“Where’s Cass?” I asked, gritting my teeth to keep from losing my shit.
“School, where do you think?” He downed the bottle in only a few gulps before retrieving another. I glared at him. “Hair of the dog.” He smirked.
“The fuck are you doing, Bodie?”
“Don’t start.”
We’ve had the same conversation a dozen times already. I knew he was tired of hearing it and I was tired of repeating it, but he needed a wake-up call and he needed it now.
I pulled in several deep breaths to calm my pounding heart. I wanted to kick his ass, tell him to get his shit together and man the fuck up.
Instead, I opted for reason. “Listen, you need help, man, look at you. When’s the last time you had a shower? Or been on a board? This is getting out of hand.�
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Bodie scoffed. “You don’t know shit.”
“Well fill me in then. I can’t fucking help you unless you talk to me.”
“Jesus, you sound like my little sister.”
His tone was bitter, harboring an underlying coldness I’d never heard before. “What’s your problem, huh? Are you angry with yourself because you’re too much of a coward to admit you have a problem or are you angry at me because I keep calling you on it?”
“Why don’t you just fuck off already? I’m angry because you won’t mind your own business. Not everyone’s life is perfect, asshole. Some of us have real fucking problems.”
That knocked me back a step, so did the resentment in his eyes. “What happened to you? We used to be best friends, remember that?”
“Things change.”
“Yeah, I guess they do.”
“Fuck you!” he roared. “Stop pretending like you’re so goddamn perfect. You’re not! I’m so sick and tired of you constantly trying to tell me what I need to do.”
I was done with reason. He needed a gut check, and as bad as it was going to hurt me to be brutally honest, it had to be done.
Collecting several steps, I met him toe for toe. He was only an inch shorter than me but we were both around the same build. We’d never fought before, and he might be a better surfer than me, but I would wipe the floor with his ass and he knew it, especially in the state he was in now.
Lowering my head, I got right up in his face. “Open your fucking eyes. You’re better than this. Cass needs you, and she needs you sober. Now, I suggest you smarten the hell up, get your head out of your ass, and stop feeling sorry for yourself before you lose her or worse, end up dead.”
“Dead would be a hell of a lot better than being here,” he quickly retorted with venom thick in his voice.
A gasp sounded from the other side of the room. Bodie twisted his head, his eyes widening in shock. “Fuck,” he hissed, lowering his head in shame.
Cassidy let go of a sob before dropping her backpack to the floor and running upstairs to her bedroom.
Bodie turned away from me, bracing his hands on the counter. “I can’t take it anymore, Reid. It’s all just…too much.” His eyes swung to mine. “Promise me something, if anything ever happens to me, I need you to look out for her, man.”
“Bodie, what the hell are you talk—”
“Just fucking promise me!”
I stared back into his eyes for a long time; the hopelessness there scared the shit out of me.
Finally, I worked past the knot in my throat to say, “I promise.”
I wanted to say more—so much more—but I couldn’t find the words.
He’d given up.
How the hell could you help someone who didn’t even want to help themselves?
I’d never felt so defeated.
I retreated, climbing the stairs to Cassidy’s room. I wanted to make sure she was all right before I left. I could hear her crying from the other side of the door and my heart clenched in my chest at the sound of her quiet sobs.
I swallowed hard, rapping softly on the door. “Cass, it’s me. Can I come in?”
“Yes,” she answered in a muffled voice.
Easing the door open I slowly made my way inside, shutting it behind me. She sat in front of the bay window, a small pillow clutched to her chest, face buried behind it.
I took the seat next to her. Bloodshot eyes peeked up from behind the pillow, and the pain I found there pricked at my heart. Tossing the pillow to the floor, she threw her arms around me, burying her wet face in my neck.
I wrapped my arms around her tiny waist. “He didn’t mean it,” I told her, running my hand up and down her trembling back in an attempt to soothe her.
“He’s changed. He’s not—he’s not my brother anymore. I—I don’t know who he is.” She hiccupped, trying to catch her breath.
It was hard not to agree with her. “Things will get better soon. I promise.”
It was a promise I knew I couldn’t keep, but I didn’t know what else to say.
Nodding, she eased back and wiped her cheeks with the pads of her fingers. “I’m scared. He’s never home any more and when he is, he’s just so angry and closed off. I miss him, Reid. I miss him so much. And I miss my mom, too. I didn’t even want to ask him to take me to the cemetery today because I knew he’d be messed up.”
Today was the one-year anniversary of their mother’s death. I felt both anger and sadness for her, having to deal with grief on her own. I’d tried to be there for her as much I could but I could only do so much.
Cupping her damp cheeks, I held her eyes. Eyes that harbored so much pain and fear. “Why didn’t you call me? I would have taken you.”
“I didn’t want to bother you.”
“You could never be a bother to me. I’ll always be here for you, Gidge. No matter what, okay? You with me?”
Color returned to her pale face. Her skin was now stained a soft shade of pink and her eyes seemed a little bit brighter. My heart rate picked up speed and my cock took notice of the way her small tongue licked her plump bottom lip. An unfamiliar urge formed in my blood, and I craved to know what that lip tasted like.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
She was only sixteen.
Every instinct in my body screamed to run but I remained anchored there, her familiar scent invading my nostrils as they flared with her closeness. I’d never seen her as anything other than Bodie’s little sister. Well, except a few months ago when he had a beach party and she came down dressed in the smallest bikini I’d ever seen. I thought I was going to lose my mind. It hardly covered anything and every guy there kept gawking at her.
I wanted to gouge all of their eyes out.
Thankfully, Bodie made her change into one that was a little less revealing, though not by much. It became painfully clear that night that Cassidy had grown up a lot over the last year, and not just emotionally.
I ran a hand through my hair, searching for my morals and self-control but when her hand moved to my knee and up my thigh, both seemed to flee. The strain on my jeans became almost unbearable and those eyes boring into mine begged me for something I could never give her.
I wasn’t blind.
But I had definitely been in denial. I’d noticed the way she looked at me sometimes, when she thought I wasn’t paying attention. Much like the way she was looking at me now. With the need and want of a woman, not a little girl. And I’d never felt anything but a brotherly love for her in return.
Until now.
Until this very moment.
“Reid.” My name fell breathy and weak from her lips.
I had to get the hell out of here, before I did something I would regret.
Dropping a light kiss to the tip of her button nose, I then pressed my lips to her forehead. They rested there longer than I intended, inhaling her sweet innocence and reminding myself that she was forbidden and always would be.
But she would always be my Gidge.
A few days later, I would have no choice but to come back, and that promise I made to Cassidy would be nothing more than a puff of smoke.
Dawn was my favorite part of paddling out. When my tiny piece of earth came to life and the sun’s rays cast down on the surface of the water, reflecting the promise of another day. It filled my soul with a certain peace I couldn’t get anywhere else. Then the waves would break, offering that roar of danger I craved so much. I paddled harder, rising up to claim the building swell.
Once I dropped inside the barrel, everything disappeared around me.
No words could describe what I felt when my fingers skimmed across the crest, riding the wave to escape the chaos that lived inside my head.
Inside my heart.
Surfing hadn’t always been my passion. Bodie had tried to teach me many times before, but only after he was taken from me did I really want to learn. I taught myself how by watching all of his old videos. It was my way of being closer to him
, and over time, surfing became my saving grace.
Breathing in the salty air I sighed, debating once again about scattering his ashes here. It’s what he would have wanted. To ride the waves for eternity.
But even after seven years, I still couldn’t find the strength to let him go.
Carrying my board from the water, I drove the tail into the sand and plopped down on my beach towel, reaching for my spare to dry my face. I’d been coming here for years, same time every morning. Just before sunrise. It was perfectly secluded. Not far from where our aunt lived. She used to bring us here when we’d come down to visit with our mother.
Those were some of the best times of my life.
I stayed until the sun came all the way up, bathing in the ethereal gold and orange rays as I rode wave after wave. Then I grabbed my board and headed back to the house.
Growing up, Cocoa Beach had been my second home. Jersey would always have my heart but I’d learned to love it here. The warm, salty air and water agreed with me, as did the distance between me and my past.
Living in a world without my brother and mother had been tough at first. And some days were still hard as hell, but my Aunt Liz had given me everything I needed to survive that terrible time in my life, including her love, patience, and understanding.
However, despite her best efforts, I was not the most pleasant person to be around back then. Bitterness and anger ruled my heart. And it took a long time for me to accept that my family was gone. I don’t think I’ll ever get over losing them, but it has gotten easier. Though I was convinced it would be an endless aching hole that never really went away. Surfing made the pain bearable.
More so than any other vice.
I spent a lot of time trying to numb the pain; turning to drugs seemed to be the easiest solution in the beginning. It wasn’t long before I found myself headed down the same self-destructive road Bodie did. Thankfully, I was somehow able to pull myself out before it got too out of hand. Though, there were moments when I wasn’t sure I’d make it through, the loss of my brother and mother nearly too much to bear.
Shaking off the painful memories, I left my board propped up in the sand near the back deck and made my way inside. I found my roommate, Max, at her usual post at the kitchen table, eyes intent and focused as she pounded away on her laptop, working on her latest novel.