by Lisa Olsen
I wanted to pick up something for Luz, though I was reasonably sure she celebrated on the Solstice, Parker had mentioned plans with her for Christmas day and I wanted to show my appreciation for her help. I also had four voicemails from my mother in the space of time it took me to take a shower, but I wasn’t up to dealing with her yet. Instead my first call of the day went to Sam. Maybe I was spoiled, but I really didn’t want to be sick, and Sam had offered…
“You changed your mind on the healing?” Sam seemed happy to help, not at all put out that I asked him to come over.
“I thought I was doing better, but I felt really sick last night too and again this morning. Maybe I’m getting an ulcer? I really think that might be it, why else would I feel fine when I’m not stressed out?”
“What is stressing you out? Have we not reached our happy ending?” he blinked, and I forgot he wasn’t up on the latest news. Filling him in on Ben’s status as our new threat to the universe and his particular obsession with me and Azazael, Sam’s eyes got wider and wider. “I can see how you’d feel the stress over that,” he allowed. “But this is easily solved. Ben should be no trouble for either Adam or myself.”
“Oh no, not you too! Sam, please tell me you don’t think killing Ben is the answer.”
“It depends on the question. If you simply seek to end the danger, killing one for the preservation of all seems the obvious choice. I do see why it isn’t the optimal solution though,” he assured me with a comforting smile.
“Thank you,” I breathed. “You have no idea how long it took Adam to see that side of the argument.”
“Adam is here? Why didn’t you ask him to heal you?”
“No, he’s gone this morning, out running some errands. I didn’t think to ask him about it last night. I was so tired after everything, and you know I’m awful at trying to heal myself.” Lying down on the couch, I propped my head up with a couple of throw pillows. “The worst thing is the nausea, but I’ve been feeling really tired and run down too.”
“You have been burning your candles at both ends,” Sam nodded briskly, kneeling on the floor beside the couch. “I should be able to restore your vigor, if not eradicate this illness,” he patted my arm comfortingly. Closing his eyes, he lay his hands over my abdomen, in a repeat gesture of when he’d first bestowed his Grace upon me. While I watched, the Grace gathered beneath his hands, glowing softly before dispersing into my body with a flash of warmth. I found myself letting out a rush of air at the sensation, my heart beating faster, flushing away the fatigue as his healing Grace coursed through me.
All of a sudden his eyes popped open, shock coloring his features, and the flow of Grace stopped. “What is it? What’s wrong?” I gasped, feeling a lurch of dizziness at the rapid shift.
“You do not have an ulcer.”
“How can you tell?” I frowned. I never sensed specific injuries in others. My Grace instinctively knew where it was needed most, and when to stop. Did he have an x-ray ability I didn’t?
“You are not ill.”
“You could have fooled me,” I snorted. The nausea receded a little but definitely still raised its bumpy head.
“You are with child.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
“I’m sorry… I’m what?” I couldn’t have heard him right, it wasn’t possible.
“I can feel the child’s Grace within you, there is no mistaking it,” Sam’s hands continued to hover over my belly without actually touching me.
“There has to be a mistake. Are you sure you’re not sensing my Grace?”
Sam gave me a look that plainly said ‘duh’. “I think I know the difference between your Grace and a new life.”
“But… we were careful, we used protection.” Stunned, I sat up, gathering a fuzzy pillow into my arms. “This can’t be happening.” Deep inside I knew he was right though, my own mind giving me a mental smack. Fatigue, mood swings, nausea that comes and goes? All classic signs of pregnancy, how could I have missed it? Maybe because it was the last thing I’d expected.
“Are you not overjoyed?” Sam blinked, truly at a loss to understand my state of mind.
“Overjoyed? That isn’t the first word that leaps to mind,” I replied, letting out a shaky breath as tears threatened. “What am I going to do? Adam is going to kill me.”
“Adam would never kill you, not over something so wonderful. Don’t you realize, this is the first child of its kind? The prophet had the right of it, you will be the Bringer of Life, and from your issue will arise a new race of man, free from Original Sin.”
I’m sure he meant it to be comforting, but ordained or not, Adam was gonna freak out. Not only Adam, I was freaking out. A baby? What was I going to do with a baby? I’d already reconciled myself to the idea that I wouldn’t have to worry about kids for a long time, if ever, and suddenly I was the mother of a new race? Me? Despite my best efforts, tears slipped from the corners of my eyes, and Sam caught up my hands.
“Don’t cry, Mercy. Try to see this is a blessing.”
“A blessing? Say a miracle happened and Adam didn’t start having flashbacks to the last time he found himself a father, and say for the sake of argument the Angel of Death doesn’t come knocking on my door for breaking the rules. Adam said the Nephilim were considered monstrous. What exactly does that mean? And is this going to be a regular pregnancy or am I going to wake up tomorrow swollen out to here and ready to pop?” My voice rose shrilly, and it became harder and harder to breathe in as all signs led to a full on panic attack. “I can’t do this,” I gasped, “I can’t be having a forbidden-angel-monster baby, I can’t do it. Tell that crazy prophet to pick someone else.”
“Merceline…” Sam laid one of my hands over his heart, mirroring the action by placing his over mine. “Be not afraid.” I felt his Grace surge out to me again, and the sure, steadying beat of his heart had a calming effect. At once, the tightness in my lungs eased, and I drew in a greedy breath, clinging to that life preserver in the middle of the storm, until I felt like I could breathe on my own again.
“All is as it should be. God never gives you more than you can handle. If you are with child, you can be certain it is according to His plan. I truly do not believe he will send anyone to kill you as he did Mariah. We can’t make any assumptions about anything, you are no longer human.”
“But Adam…”
“Will come to terms with it in his own time.”
I took another deep breath, absorbing that. “Okay, but you have to promise me you won’t say anything to him about it.”
Sam raised a brow at that. “It’s only a matter of time before he senses the child himself.”
“I know, and I’ll tell him, I just need to be the one to do it. You know, to pick the right moment.” We’d already been fighting more than I liked lately, though looking back, that was probably more to do with my crazy emotional rollercoaster than anything else.
“As you wish,” he nodded.
“That means no Daphne either.” That was harder for him to swallow. “Swear to me, you won’t utter this to another soul. Strike that, even someone without a soul. I need you to promise me you won’t tell anyone.”
Sam stared back at me, his eyes wide, before he nodded slowly. “I promise.”
“Thank you. That’s one less thing I have to worry about.”
“What will you do?” Sam took a seat next to me on the couch, his eyes falling to my abdomen.
“I… have no idea. I need to process it a little first.” There was so much… While I’d practically raised Matty from the time I was ten, I had little to no experience with babies or pregnancy. None of my friends had children, except for Luz, and she was an acquaintance at best.
“Try not to worry, motherhood is the most natural of states, how hard can it be?”
I stared at him as if he had two heads. “Yeah, how hard can it be…”
*
An hour later, I still sat on the couch, in a bit of a daze, not really looking at any
thing or thinking about anything. I suppose I was in shock. There seemed to be too much to think about at once, so my brain shut down entirely to zone out for a while until I was ready to cope.
My phone rang shrilly, startling me out of my daze, and I blinked in surprise at Matty’s number on the display. Not quite sure what to expect, I answered it on the third ring. “Hello?”
“On a scale of one to ten, how mad are you at me right now?”
I could hear the worry in his voice, and if he’d called the day before I might have really let him have it. But in my current state of mind, I merely shrugged. “About a two.”
“Really? Mom said Ben was back safe, I guess that lets me off the hook then, right?”
“No, it doesn’t, I’m just a little too preoccupied with other things to be mad at you right now.” I knew how to hold on to my grudges though, I was sure it would bubble up eventually. “Oh, and Ben’s evil again, so stay away from him, okay?”
“Okay,” Matty agreed equably, and I marveled at his ability to accept that statement without pressing for more answers. “So, you’re really not pissed about Oriana?”
“I’m… surprised to say the least. Are you really going to marry her?”
“Mom told you about that, huh? Oriana wants us to get married on February second.”
“On Groundhog Day?” My brows rose at that. “Who gets married on Groundhog Day?”
“It has some other mystical significance. Something to do with candles… I don’t know, I forget what she said about it. But that’s what we’re shooting for.”
“I guess I’m happy for you Matty, but it feels a little fast,” I objected. Matt, however, couldn’t care less.
“Are you kidding me? I wanted to elope to Vegas right away, but she said she wanted the whole ceremonial thing.”
“Matty,” I tried again. “Isn’t she a little…”
“She’s perfect,” he interrupted, and I could tell the subject was closed for discussion. “Anyway, I wanted to make sure we’re still invited to come over on Christmas. I want everyone to get to know her like I do.”
“We’re still on. Have you seen Mom yet?”
“No, I called her when we got back in town. You put her up at The Edgewater, huh? Did you win the lottery without telling me or something?”
“Adam’s footing the bill.”
“Jackpot,” he sniggered.
I ignored that. “Listen, why don’t you bring Mom over around two, we’ll have an early dinner and get all the uncomfortable introductions out of the way. I’ll see if Daphne and Sam want to come too, or if she’s going to her parents’ house.”
“Sounds like a plan. Mercy, are you okay?”
“Yeah why, don’t I sound okay?” Paranoia kicked in, could he suddenly tell I was pregnant? Would everybody know? By my calculations I had some time before I’d start to show, but people kept asking me if I was alright. I couldn’t keep dodging their questions forever.
“You aren’t normally this cool when I do something you don’t like.”
I let out a silent breath. “You’re just lucky. Like I said, I have too many other things to worry about to stay mad at you, but you’re not out of the danger zone yet, so watch it. I’ve gotta go, I’ll see you on Christmas.”
“We’ll be there.”
Christmas dinner. That meant I had to do some serious shopping. I didn’t have any of the food or drinks on hand, and I still needed to pick up a few last minute things like wrapping paper and bows.
I left a voicemail for Daphne, asking if she wanted to come spend the holiday with us, or if she’d be taking Sam to meet her parents. Boy, what I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall for that meeting… Not knowing about her plans didn’t affect my shopping list much though, I always made enough for lots of leftovers. Whether we had five or fifteen, there would be plenty of food available.
Feeling better once I had a plan of action, I set out for the grocery store, loading up on all the fixings for a fantastic holiday meal. On impulse, I also picked up a pregnancy test. While Sam’s Grace radar might be good enough for him, I needed to know for sure before I went crying Baby to Adam, and ended up upsetting him over nothing.
I waited until I got home and put away all the food before I went into the bathroom to take the test. While I waited for the results, I read the little folded insert from cover to cover, even the instructions on how to use it to make sure I hadn’t missed anything. Three minutes. It sounded like such a short time, but I swear I’d stepped into a black hole and the clock ground to a halt as I waited for that little pink line to appear.
According to the packaging, it might be too early to test positive anyway, it was surprising Sam had been able to sense anything at all. I’d so steeled myself for getting a negative test and having to wait long weeks to get a proper result, that I almost didn’t believe my eyes when the pink line appeared in the window, as sharp as you please.
Pregnant.
How was that even possible? Not that I didn’t grasp the mechanics of it, but we’d been careful, and it hadn’t been that long since we freed Adam from Midian. It shouldn’t be showing up on any test results yet. Then again, I’d been feeling under the weather since before Adam came back… maybe my body was wonky with stress, the flu and I was coincidentally newly pregnant?
The only way to know for sure was to see a doctor, but that didn’t sound like a good idea either. What if I tested differently since I wasn’t human anymore? The last thing I wanted to do was end up as a guinea pig, poked and prodded while they studied my Grace. So where did that leave me?
My first instinct was to jump on the internet, or go out and buy some books on pregnancy and child rearing, but would any of it apply to me specifically? There were too many unknowns, given my supernatural status, and few resources for me to draw upon. An idea came to me, and the more I thought about it, the better it sounded. Bringing up my contacts, I dialed Parker, hoping he was in a place where he could hear his phone.
“Let me guess, you missed me and wanted to come in to work tonight?”
“Um… not exactly. Why, are you short handed?”
“No, just making conversation. What’s up, angel?”
“Parker, I need a favor…”
*
I pulled up to the little house as the sun dipped low, turning the sky from light gray clouds to dark gray clouds, the moon all but masked except for a glint every now and then. So, that was what a witch’s house looked like.
It was cute, sort of a Spanish style with a red shingle roof, uncommon in the Pacific Northwest. The overgrown yard gave me a little pause, but the windows were brightly trimmed with colored lights and hand cut paper snowflakes, reminding me that Luz had two small boys under her roof.
Pulling my coat up around my ears, I hurried up the broken concrete path to knock on the security gate fastened to the front door.
“Mercy, I’ve been expecting you. Are you hungry?” Luz opened the door with a smile, inviting me into the colorful warmth of her home.
“No, thank you. I’m not interrupting your dinner, am I?”
“No, we eat early here. Come on in, let me take your coat.” A small tree covered in bright lights and homemade ornaments stood in the front window, brightly wrapped packages stacked artfully around the table it sat on. Deeper in the house I heard the sounds of children squealing in play, a rapid fire string of Spanish calling after them. “Parker said you wanted to talk to me about Ben?”
“Yes, I do.” I needed to work myself up to the baby topic. “Did he tell you about what happened the other night? When Ben threatened him with the gun?”
“Yes, he did. I take it that’s not normal behavior for your friend?”
“Not even close.” Briefly, I laid out the message Nathanael delivered the night before. I could care less that he’d complained about involving humans, I needed all the help I could get to try and handle it without getting Ben killed in the bargain. “What I want to know is, can we do some kind of exorc
ism on him or something, to get the evil out of him?”
Luz was already shaking her head before I finished my sentence. “He’s not possessed, he’s been corrupted. The only way to save his immortal soul is to purge him of the evil.”
“Okay, how do we do that?” I brightened, glad she had an alternative in mind.
“The only thing I know that would purify him is with holy fire.”
“Holy fire,” I blinked. That did not sound at all pleasant. “How would he survive that?”
“He wouldn’t, but his soul would be cleansed, and he could achieve salvation.”
“No way,” I shook my head. “We’re not doing that.” Why did every solution end with Ben as a corpse? Did no one get his innocence?
“You might not have much of a choice if what the prophecy says is true. At least this way you can save his immortal soul. Do you need some help?” she offered, but I shook my head again.
“No. This is still my fault he’s gone all postal. If there’s no other way, I need to make sure it’s done as humanely as possible. I haven’t given up yet. I’m convinced there’s a way to save him, we just haven’t found it yet. That’s not my only problem though. He stole the box you bound Azazael to. What are the odds he’ll be able to jimmy it open?”
“No te preocupas, he’ll never get it open.”
“But, couldn’t he find a spell to open it, like you spelled it shut?”
“It’s possible, but it would be very difficult, and I can guarantee you there isn’t a witch in the state who would do it for him. It should give you enough time to get it back.”
“I tell you what, the first thing I’m going to do once I get him back is stick Azazael in a safe deposit box, Indiana Jones-warehouse style.” I closed my eyes as a wave of nausea hit me, and I took a slow, deep breath. I thought you were only supposed to get sick in the morning? Hence the name, morning sickness.
“I know what you need, I have just the thing.” Without waiting for my response, she took off in the direction of the kitchen, leaving me sitting alone in the front room. “Here you go, drink this. Be careful, it’s nice and hot.” Luz thrust the mug towards me, handle out, and I took it with a hesitant sniff. It smelled like raspberries.