Spring Semester

by Tyler, Q. B.

  “You aren’t religious,” Skyler interjects.

  “I’m actually shocked you didn’t just turn into a pillar of salt,” I add.

  Peyton smacks my shoulder and shakes her head before itching her nose ring. “Listen, are you one hundred percent sure Everett’s the one? Because you better be sure before you embark on this journey with him, and I think it’s going to be harder than you think getting acclimated to this new normal. Just because you’ve known him eleven years and you could operate his dick before you could operate a car doesn’t mean he’s your happily ever after. And I understand that relationships aren’t easy and not everything’s a walk in the park, but this might be a literal walk through hell.”

  I flit my eyes to Skyler who’s bouncing on her heels probably because my perpetually cold friend is in hardly any clothes besides a thin silk robe. “I see her side, Leigh.” Her face is sad, and I know she feels like she’s letting me down. She’s the optimistic one. The one in love. The happy one.

  My eyes well up with tears and I scrunch my nose. “You’re supposed to be Team Everett.”

  “I’m Team Leighton. I just…I want you to be happy. This whole thing isn’t fair to you. I feel for Everett too, don’t get me wrong, but whether or not he remembers,” she shrugs. “He made his bed…”

  “Don’t feel like you have to lie in it with him.” Peyton speaks up and Skyler, who I was hoping would say that wasn’t where she was going with it, just nods in agreement.

  “Hey.” I walk into my bedroom to see Everett fully dressed and sitting on the edge of my bed with his arms resting on his knees. His head jerks up to meet mine and then he smiles like he hasn’t seen me in forever. Like just me entering the room makes him feel better. But just as quick as he smiles, he frowns as if he’s remembering where I’ve been.

  “Your friends done shitting on me?”

  “That’s not fair, Everett.”

  I see the hurt all over his face and it makes my heart thump inside my chest seeing the vulnerability mar his perfect features. “It’s not? So, what do you call what Peyton was saying?”

  “She knows she was out of line and she apologized.” I offer, weakly.

  “I’m sensing a but…”

  “This situation is just hard to navigate. One minute I think we can do this and the next…”

  “And your friends are making it easier by judging you? Judging me?” He interrupts.

  “No one is judging you, Everett.”

  “Peyton surely is.”

  “It’s not judgment. She’d never judge anyone for screwing someone and accidentally getting pregnant. There’s a reason she takes Plan B like it’s a daily vitamin. Don’t act like it’s about that. She’s angry at you because of me. And I do believe you had some choice things to say as well.”

  “She started it.”

  “I don’t care who started it…”

  “Leigh, I’ll take shit from you but not from your friends.” He snaps.

  Did he seriously just say that to me? “Take shit? Really?”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “No…not really. Enlighten me. Is that what you think this is? Taking my shit? Okay, well you can go.” I shrug. I don’t want him to go, but if he wants to, so be it.

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “It’s what you said. Literally.” I snap.

  “I just mean, you lashing out and being upset is…I understand that, and I accept it, and I want us to work through that, but I’m not in a relationship with Peyton or Skyler.” I don’t say anything when he speaks up. “And I can already see they’re getting to you.”

  “Getting to me? What the fuck? You know I’m so sick of everyone around here thinking that I have no control over my own thoughts. That I’m so heavily influenced by your dick or my friends. You want to hear some of my own thoughts? First off, this whole situation fucking sucks, Everett.” My body starts to shake with anger and exhaustion and I know I need to rein in my temper before I lose it. “Secondly, I don’t buy this bullshit I don’t remember fucking her thing for one second. So, I’m seriously going to need you to change your narrative.”

  “I don’t!”

  I put my hand up. “I’m done with it. I love you, but…”

  “No.” He moves towards me. “I refuse to buy it. This can’t be over.” He flips my wrist over and runs his finger over the script reminding me of how deep our love really runs. “Run away with me.”

  “So, you’re going to be a college dropout and a deadbeat dad on top of everything else?” I sniffle back a painful memory. “Kids grow up to hate those dads, remember?”

  I have no memories of my birth father, and about a grand stuffed in random birthday cards in my room from being sent fifty dollars every birthday. I’d never known him, so I have never necessarily missed him. Luckily for me, I had a wonderful stepfather who filled those shoes, but it doesn’t stop the gaping holes and feelings of rejection that creep in when I remember he left the second my mother learned she was pregnant.

  “But you’ll hate me.” He cups my face and leans down hesitantly to brush his lips over mine. I sigh into his mouth and wrap my arms around his neck.

  “Never.”

  “We can take it day by day. At your speed…Whatever you want. I just…I can’t do this without you, Leigh.”

  “You don’t see how selfish that is to ask this of me?” I pull away, the tears spilling out of my eyes.

  “No! Because I’d do it for you! I’d do whatever it took to be with you if I knew you loved me. And I know you love me, Leigh.”

  “That’s not the point! You’re asking me to watch you have a baby with another woman.”

  “Who means nothing to me!” He interrupts, as his hands tighten around me to prevent me from moving from his grasp.

  “She’s going to be the mother of your child; she should mean something.”

  “I just mean…she’s not you. No one could ever be you.”

  “What if your parents or her parents want you two to get married, what then?”

  “You’ve been reading too many of your books. It’s 2019. You don’t have to get married just because you’re having a baby.” He shakes his head. “I’m not marrying anyone but you.” I don’t even allow myself to appreciate the fluttering in my stomach over his comment. He wants to marry me. He wants forever with me.

  But what would the next nine months bring?

  I’m about to respond when his phone whirls to life. He crosses the room to grab his phone and a low groan leaves his lips. “Fuck.”

  “Is it Alli?”

  He shakes his head. “My dad. I called him when you were downstairs, and now I’m regretting everything.”

  “You should tell him; just get it over with.”

  He lets out a breath, his finger hovering over the screen. “Will you stay?”

  I nod and watch as he slowly slides his finger across. “Hey, Dad.” He lets out a breath. “I hope you’re sitting down.”

  “CARTWRIGHT!” Coach Peck bellows from across the field.

  I slow to a jog before making my way towards the sideline as my teammates continue to run laps after a shitty scrimmage that could probably be attributed to my four dropped passes. I already know Coach is going to lay into me, but I also know that despite my off day—off week, two weeks…that I’m still the best player on the team by far.

  Coach Peck crosses his arms over his CGU sweatshirt and turns his hat backwards, probably so I can better see the disappointment all over his face. “I should make you run sprints till tomorrow’s game,” he snaps. “The hell is going on with you? You’ve been off your game for weeks.” He glowers at me.

  I can’t even argue. Before this situation with Alli, I wasn’t exactly giving it a hundred percent when Leighton wasn’t talking to me.

  I let out a breath and rub a hand over my face. “I know, Coach. But I swear, I’ll be ready for tomorrow’s game.”

  “You haven’t been proving that during practice.
I should bench you.”

  Anger slithers up my spine, his words grating over my skin. “And put who in? Michaels? He doesn’t have half the skill I do,” I argue.

  “At least he’s focused, and I wasn’t aware that I was asking for your opinion or approval. This is my goddamn team; one you’ve barely acted like you want to be a part of.”

  “Excuse me if I have a lot going on right now.”

  He sighs and slams his clipboard to the ground. I watch as his pen flies out and gets lost in the grass. “This is exactly why I advise my players not to start relationships going into a season…your mind is on the wrong fucking things.” My eyes snap to his angry brown ones. “You think your teammates haven’t ratted you out about you and the girl you’ve been obsessed with since the second your dick got hard for the first time?”

  “It’s not about her,” I growl. I haven’t told my teammates about Alli and thankfully she’s kept it to herself as well so things haven’t gotten around. But I know that it’s only a matter of time. Like when she starts showing.

  “Well, whatever it is, it’s making you play like shit and I won’t have you jeopardizing tomorrow’s game because your head is so far up a girl’s ass. You’re benched.”

  I shake my head to keep my wayward thoughts from thinking of Leighton’s ass. “Are you kidding me?”

  “I’m most certainly not kidding you, and I’d advise you to watch your tone before you’re benched for next week’s away game too.”

  I swallow hard, trying to push my words down my throat before I find myself kicked off the lacrosse team completely. I was hoping to be captain next year, and I hate that in two weeks I might have killed my chances.

  I sigh and swallow my pride, preparing to shed a little light into what’s had me so fucked up the past few weeks. “This girl, a different girl…not my girl…is claiming she’s pregnant and it’s mine.”

  He narrows his eyes and looks behind me at my team members I know are still running laps. When his eyes turn back to me, I can sense the judgment radiating off of him. “You cheat on your girl?”

  “No! Well…it’s messy. The night it allegedly happened was the night Leighton and I became official.” I drop to the bench with my head in my hands, grateful that my teammates and the other coaches are far enough away not to hear me. “I don’t remember anything from that night.”

  “Even in your drunken stupor, you can’t remember to wrap it up?” He scolds.

  I look up to find him staring down at me like a parent scolding a child. And God knows I’ve heard about enough of that the last two weeks from my parents. “I had to have. There’s no way. I had never slept with her before and for me to do it on the night I started dating Leighton, I just…”

  He nods and rubs his jaw. “Listen, this blows and I get how it’s affecting your concentration, but—I still have to bench you.” Before I can protest, he puts a hand up. “I don’t want to, and you are my best player, but your head isn’t in the game.”

  I look out at the field to the sea of white and blue jerseys running back and forth between lines in part because of my shitty playing and let out a sigh. “Yeah. I get it.”

  “It’s not permanent and it’s not personal, Cartwright. You get that, right?”

  “Yeah.” I pull the practice penny off over my head and toss it to the side. “Whatever,” I grumble.

  Alli Chem Lab: Can we talk?

  I’m still staring at the three word text as I wait for her outside of her sorority house. Sorority row is located just off campus and most importantly somewhere Leighton Mills wouldn’t be caught dead. I see Alli moving down the hill towards her house, her blonde hair flowing around her and her letters stamped across her chest. “Hey, Everett.” I notice her face is a little fuller and she’s practically drowning in the sweatshirt over her petite frame making me wonder if she’s showing and she’s trying to hide it.

  Are you showing at six weeks?

  “Alli.” I nod.

  She slides her sunglasses to the top of her head revealing tired eyes. “So…how are you?”

  “Been better. What’s going on?” I blow off her question, not wanting to get into this now.

  “What’s wrong?” She furrows her brows as if she’s concerned.

  “Can you just tell me why you needed to meet?” I snap. I’m irritated by the day, by her, by everything, and all I want is to crawl into bed with my girl and sleep the day away.

  Her eyes widen and her lips form a straight line. “Fine, excuse me for caring. Listen, my parents want to meet you.”

  Fuck. I let out a breath. “Like…now?”

  “Yes.”

  “I mean is it necessary…like now?”

  “Everett, I’m pregnant. They are a bit curious about the guy who contributed to that.” Bile rises in my throat just like it always does when I think about what I did. What we did. I swallow it down and take a deep breath.

  Why the hell did I not wrap it up? “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it before now, but Leighton is just always…there.” She turns her nose up in the air and rolls her eyes in a circle.

  “Alright, enough,” I tell her. “The digs about Leigh are getting old. Your issue is with me, not her.”

  “It’s about both of you. It’s about the fact that I knew something was going on, and you would lie right to my face. It’s about the fact that you were cheating on me…with her!”

  I swallow guiltily. “I know, Alli. Trust me, I feel like shit.”

  “Do you? A guy that feels like shit, a guy that’s even a little bit humble wouldn’t berate me for not liking the girl he cheated on me with.”

  “I’m not berating you, but I’m not going to let you insult her either,” I warn her. “Cut that shit out.”

  “Whatever. Will you come to brunch on Saturday or what?” Her hands fall to her hips and she cocks her head to the side.

  “Brunch?” I’m fairly certain a woman in her condition shouldn’t be having brunch.

  She lets out an annoyed breath. “Not like a boozy brunch, obviously. Contrary to popular belief, brunch does exist without mimosas.”

  Said no college student, ever.

  “Fine, brunch.”

  “Okay, so pick me up at like eleven?”

  “Pick you up? Alli, it’s not a date. I’ll meet you at the restaurant.” I don’t even wait for her to protest before I’m walking away from her and back up the hill towards campus. “Text me where,” I call over my shoulder.

  I slam my front door closed, grateful that I don’t see Pat or Dave in their usual spots on the couch and toss my backpack to the floor in front of the door. I’m so over this shit. I feel like my head is spinning between practice and Alli. It feels as if my entire life is going up in flames and to top it off, my relationship with Leighton is so fragile, I’m scared to breathe. I trudge up the stairs, prepared to take the longest nap, knowing that Leighton is still in class when a familiar perfume surrounds me. I push my door open to see Leighton sitting on my bed, cross legged and staring at the door like she’s waiting for me to come in.

  “Well, this is a nice surprise.” I smile at her as my legs eat the distance between us and press a kiss to her lips. “I thought you had class?”

  “Canceled,” she whispers, “and I wanted to be here.” I’d sent her a text after practice letting her know that I had been benched and after a string of sad face emojis she told me she’d see me later and she’d make it all better. I sit on the bed next to her and she immediately climbs into my lap before wrapping her arms around my neck. “I’m sorry.” She peppers kisses down my cheek and neck and I grab her jaw to look at her.

  “You have nothing to be sorry for.” I press a kiss to her forehead and hold her tighter to my body. “I’m so glad you’re here.” I pull her hair from her high ponytail and submerge my face in it, letting the smell of her tresses calm me. “This day has just been so shitty.”

  “Why? What else?”

  I take a deep breath as I prepare myself
for a potential argument. “Alli wants me to meet her parents.”

  She tenses in my arms and just as I rub my hand down her bare arm to calm her, I feel her pulling away and out of my arms. I try to hold onto her, but she’s out of my grip and sitting next to me. “Why?” She scrunches her face together and wraps her arms around herself.

  “Leighton…”

  “Why do you need to meet her parents? Is she introducing you as her boyfriend?”

  “No! No way. She knows I’m with you.”

  “Really? Because this whole ‘meet the parents’ thing doesn’t sound like she knows that.”

  “Her parents want to meet me. What am I supposed to say? No?” Trust me, I wanted to. The last thing I want is to meet Alli’s parents. Talking to any girl’s parents in this situation is scary as fuck, but talking to a girl’s parents I have no plans to be with? Makes me sound like an asshole and I’m not looking forward to being that person.

  Leighton lets out a sigh and stares at the door, and I wonder if she’s preparing herself to leave. “Just brunch?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Are you like…spending the day together like some big happy fucking family?” She stands up and crosses her arms and I take note of her toned legs that I regret won’t be wrapped around my waist anytime soon.

  “Baby…it’s not like that.”

  She squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head. “But it is like that. You and…her and this baby. You’re a family. A family I’m not a part of.”

  I’m off the bed instantly cupping her face in my hand. “You’re my family.”

  She pulls out of my grasp, a sad smile finding her lips that shatters me. I can almost hear the words swirling around her brain. The “well, actually…” The thought that even though she knows she’s a huge part of my life, that this is part of my life I accidentally excluded her from. That she’s only family by proxy. That Alli will have a difficult time accepting her as family. And while Leighton doesn’t give a shit, eventually she’ll give up the fight because Alli is the mother and Leighton is not.

  “Sure, Everett,” she sighs, defeatedly.