Collection 1

by Therese A. Kramer

  It’s about time to wake up girl, don’t’cha think, she advised herself.

  Oh, if only she could.

  Slowly, her eyes wide, she backed up. Her lungs burned not only from smoke but fear. Dragons don’t exist, she told herself. And neither does the girl’s body you entered, it‘s all make believe. She simply had to accept that to be true. But that was easier said than done. Zoë gulped and tried to swallow. Her heart thumping, she managed to croak, “Shoo, g-go away.”

  Are ye crazy? snapped Snowy.

  Zoë snorted, Probably. You could’ve warned me before I ventured deeper into the cave.

  Would ye have believed me, replied Snowy sounding a bit indignant.

  Of course not, said Zoë, but that’s beside the point, and I still don’t accept any of this craziness. Hey! Is your mother playing a prank on me?”

  Hmmm ’tis a possibility, I would put naught past her.

  “Great!” snapped Zoë. “Okay, Queeny, you had your fun, now turn back into your human form, and I use the word, “human” only as a figure of speech. You don’t play fair, do you. And that’s not a question.

  Large green eyes bored into her and fire spat, landing only inches from her feet.

  Zoë gritted her teeth. Well, at least she wasn’t cold anymore.

  Ye might think about running, suggested Snowy.

  I agree, but not my feet.

  Do something, ordered Snowy.

  Zoë did, she fainted.

  The giant, green monster in the cave had other plans for the pretty maiden. She was a delicious looking morsel. He eyed the fair maiden, sniffing it before making her his meal. He blinked never smelling anything so sweet; at least no human he had ever eaten before. Curious, he sniffed again and wondered if she would taste as good as she smelled. His enormous black tongue took a slimy lick of a leg that was exposed. Indeed, she was a delicious morsel. Sitting on his haunches, he studied her, thinking how beautiful she was, and it would be a damn shame to devour her. As if on cue his tummy rumbled; it had been awhile since he had eaten. Wild animals were wise to his presence and stayed far away from the cave. He dared not adventure too far because there was always the chance of a knight lurking about ready to kill a dragon to impress some princess.

  Then his lunch moved.

  If he was to eat her he better do it before….Too late. Big beautiful, brown eyes opened and looked at him with such fright that he knew that his meal had just gotten away.

  Petrified, Zoë stared at the green monster that was looking at her so strangely, and… drooling. She pressed her body against the cold, hard stone wishing she could melt into the wall. The thing tilted his head as if to study her. Did it frown? Was it possible for dragons to frown? Was he toying with her?

  Stop with the questions, all ready! she snapped at herself.

  “If you are going to eat me, do it,” she said a bit more bravely than she actually felt. It merely blinked. “Um, err, hey,” she swallowed hard. “My name is Zoë.” She figured if she was going to be his dinner, he might like to know her name. His only acknowledgement, if he understood her was a puff of smoke discharged from his nostrils. Coughing, she swatted it away. “Egad, you could use a breath mint.” Zoë laughed. Surely she was losing it; for certain dragon’s had no sense of humor. “Look,” she tried to be serious since levity did not seem to get a reaction. “If you don’t eat me, I promise to make sure someone leaves you fresh meat every day. So what do you say?”

  That seemed to have grabbed his interest.

  Albert must have searched every cave on his land and he was at his wits end, when at last he heard a scream echoing from within one of the caves. Following the sound, he prayed that he was heading in the right direction because there were many tunnels. Two of the tunnels led to a dead end frustrating him but he was determined, and he was not about to give up. Finally, he entered a large cavern. Where was she?

  He walked deeper into the cold area, around the stalagmites and stalactites, and then he heard it before he saw it. It was a loud snort and a flash, lighting a section around a bend. He had not doubts in his mind what was waiting for him, for he had slain a few fire-eating beasts in his time. Sweat ran down his spine and his flesh crawled with goose-bumps. Was he too late? Drawing his sword from its sheath, Albert ran forward fearing what he would find, but what greeted him was not what he had expected. Zoë was sitting as calmly as you please, petting a green monster’s large snout.

  Great bullocks of fire, the dragon had hypnotized her!

  Fearlessly, he charged. One might say, foolishly he charged, but no matter, Albert thought as he ran to the princess’ rescue.

  Loud footsteps echoed through the cavern making Zoë turn. Her heart quickened at the sight of the prince charging, sword in hand. Sheesh, must he always attack every-thing before finding out what the hell is going on?

  “Stop!” she shrieked. “Don’t harm my friend!”

  Albert skidded to a halt. “St. Peter’s feet! You are surely in a trance!”

  She giggled at his silly expression. Poor Albert, he always thinks that he has come to my rescue. “Put your sword away,” she ordered and tried her damnest not to laugh, but failed miserably. “Sorry,” she mumbled.

  He kept his weapon pointed at the dragon and ordered, “Stand aside, ye are under his power; ye must advert looking into his eyes and the spell will be broken.”

  Zoë exhaled a puff of air in exasperation, and then she stood and placed her hand over his to explain. “I’m not in a trance, well, err… not anymore, but I was, you see. A witch, who claimed to be my mother, changed me into a mouse and….” She knew that this was all too much to swallow and Albert stood dumbfounded. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came forth.

  She quickly continued. “I know this sounds preposterous, but, that wolf I had helped was not a real wolf, and…” she interjected quickly, “no lectures please.” A pout formed on her lips and she held up her hand to ward off the scolding she knew she deserved. “I know, I know, I was foolish, but be that as it may, what’s done cannot be rectified.”

  Nervously, she continued. “It was a wicked queen and she had changed into an ugly old lady in my room. Well,” she took a deep breath, “actually I was asleep so I didn’t really see her change before my eyes because she had drugged me and when I had awoken in the cave, she changed again into beautiful lady. Well, lady is not the right word, bitch is more to the point,” she rambled on. “Oh, this is all too much, even for me, but my friend here…” she pointed to the dragon.

  “Look,” she continued, “I’m all right. Now I promised this nice dragon that if he didn’t eat me, your servants would leave fresh meat for him. What do you say?”

  Albert just nodded appearing quite stupefied.

  Zoë smiled and then turned. “Well, good-bye, its been a pleasure meeting you. Sometimes being green isn’t so bad. You’re the nicest monster I have ever conjured up in my dreams.”

  Although the dragon had found this story very interesting, kept a wary eye on the knight and he hoped that the maiden could convince the man not to slay him. It was becoming very tiresome fighting and he wouldn’t mind his meals delivered daily. Any green dragon in his right mind wouldn’t turn down room service.

  When she walked away, the fair damsel did nae see his eyes become a bit misty.

  The sunlight made Zoë blink, but it was warn and she worshipped the heat. “Ahhh,” she sighed. Turning she gazed at the prince and knew what he was thinking. “I’m sorry to put you through so much trouble, Albert, but this was not of my doing. In fact, none of this is. I only wanted to eat an apple, and I choked on the damn thing. The next moment I woke up staring at you. Sheesh, if I only could tell you the truth, but after today, I’m certain you’d place me in a belfry with the bats.”

  What could he say? And even if he was capable of speech, words seemed to strangle his tongue. He had no answer except that she was right. All he could utter was, “Yer mother is a witch?”

  “No, my mo
ther was a sweet woman,” she proclaimed seriously.

  Albert scratched his head. “But ere ye had said that she was a witch who captured ye.”

  “Well, yes and no. My real mother was not a witch, but the woman who captured me is. She claimed to be my mother, but she is not my mother, although she’s definitely an evil lady.” She sighed. “My ass is dragging and my head aches from all of this, so can we just go back to the castle. I can use some sleep. My thoughts are in a whirlwind and I don’t know if I’m coming or going. I can sleep for a week, and hopefully I’ll really wake up from this.” She yawned loudly to prove her point.

  Understandably so, Albert’s head was also swimming and he could use a goblet of wine, or perhaps, two, if only to settle his nerves. Right now he could only take a deep breath to think better. His only thought was that if it was the last thing he would do, it would be to find that damn witch and have her beheaded. That woman caused much grief to the both of them, and to kidnap his intended, that galled him to no end. On the morrow, he would send out his men-in-arms and scour the countryside. He did not want to spend the rest of his life fearing that his wife would again be abducted. There would be no peace in his mind until this witch was found.

  “Come, my sweet, my men should nae be far from here. They were searching in other directions, but I’m sure they have doubled back by now.”

  Zoë frowned. “You shouldn’t have ventured the land alone.”

  He snorted. “I have been traveling alone for many years now. Have ye nae any trust in yer future husband that he can nae take care of himself?”

  She shrugged. “Of course I do, but you’re a prince and I have always read that people of royalty never traveled without their men.”

  “Aye, ’tis true, but I seldom abide by many of our rules.”

  “Well, my gallant prince, that ain’t very cool,” she laughed.

  His brows drew together. What was the use? He’d never understand her and he wondered if where she came from, all spoke her strange language. He had asked her back at the Inn where she was born and all she said was a place so far away that he could never travel to its shores. God’s blood, one would think she had come from the moon by the way she had explained it.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “She promised what?!” shouted Garfield.

  Albert looked sheepishly at his uncle, still not believing what had happened either. He felt like a complete fool just telling the story, and he didn’t blame the older man for looking at him as if he had grown horns, or lost his mind because he certainly thought he had. Soon all the castle would be buzzing about this. He had no doubts that his princess had told the tale to everyone here. On the way back, she had been bubbling with excitement. In fact, his men-in-arms, when they had caught up with him, were all ears listening to the tale.

  “Wait until my friends back home here of this,” Zoë had declared with a giggle. “They’ll never believe it, of course, that’s if I wake up from this nightmare. We all know that truth is stranger than fiction, but in my case, it was beyond anything comprehendible, even for a dream.”

  He hadn’t understood, but once more he thought better of asking. His mind was already boggled by the day’s events and he was still concerned over finding the witch who had abducted Zoë. He wondered if he should relate that morsel of her candor to his uncle, but decided it was not to his advantage. To divulge the fact, that she continued to claim, that she’s in a suspended state of sleep would definitely give Garfield more food for thought. His uncle was already greatly against the marriage to Zoë. Oh, she was a puzzle all right, but he loved her still. And he felt that as soon as that wicked queen was found, his life with his princess would be as it should, pleasant and peaceful. Aye, his problems would be dissolved, on that he was positive.

  Zoë saw how embarrassed the prince looked and felt sorry for him. Garfield was ranting at poor Albert, and it was her who had made the promise to feed the green monster. She had stood quietly aside and now she had enough of Garfield’s temper. She would speak her mind.

  “Look, here, uncle, that dragon is harmless. I mean he’s cool, so let’s not make a big deal over this. Anyway, I gave my word.”

  Well spoken! praised the little voice.

  Thanks Snowy, I thought so, Zoë, grinning proudly.

  Garfield sat with a grunt, his jowls quivering from being talked to thusly… and by her, a mere young woman, no less! Albert rolled his eyes and began shoving her gently out of the room. She dug in her heels she would have none of that!

  “Stop it!” she spat. “I’m no nitwit female. In my time we were---”

  “See,” Garfield pointed a threatening finger at her. “Ye must nae marry the woman, she speaks a strange language and has a viper’s tongue. Besides,” he shifted his weight, “how pure can she be living with seven men?”

  Zoë’s temper flared and she loosened herself from Albert’s grip. “What are you insinuating?”

  But she knew exactly what he meant because she was guilty of the same assumption, but so what! She was not going to be talked down to like that and further-more, she liked Snowy now, and it was the girl’s reputation that was being soiled, not hers. She was by far, not so innocent herself. Marching back, hands on hips, she heard the loud groan behind her.

  “Look here Uncle Garfield, being here was not my idea, but now that I am, I decided to make the best of it. At first, I wanted to run away, but where would I go? Besides, your nephew is not bad on the eyes and can kiss pretty damn good!”

  Zoë thought the old man would have a stroke the way his face turned tomato red. His lips quivered and his eye bugged out, boy was he riled. Serves him right for thinking the worst of her, but she didn’t want to cause him heart failure, so she turned with as much dignity she could muster and marched out of the longroom.

  Naturally, Zoë could not resist smiling and gave the prince a wink as she passed by. He looked as flustered as the king, but she could swear she saw a glimpse of pride in his eyes and a slight lift of the corner of his mouth.

  Understandably so, she ate her meal in her chambers, not wanting to get into another argument with Garfield. She was happy the prince came to visit before she retired but he gave her the news that he ordered a servant to sleep on a mat by the brazier until the nuptials. Zoë barked at the idea but Albert was adamant. It didn’t take much to change her mind, only one tender kiss and she melted in his arms. What had she been thinking? She had to be crazy before to want to leave this hunk of a man. Coma, dream, or whatever, the prince could make her life very enjoyable.

  Zoë spent a restless night. She had responded hotly to Albert’s kiss and wanted nothing better than to jump his bone, but her inner voice stopped her as usual. As much as she grew to like Snowy, at times she would like nothing better than to strangle that puritan! But choking was what got her here in the first place. She groaned and punched the lumpy mattress.

  This wedding better come soon!

  Albert feared that his princess was not helping her case by being disrespectful to the king. Again he had to admit that his betrothed did not cower before man or beast; and he felt that it was a good thing; it was also not good for him.

  Chapter Twenty

  “Mirror, mirror on the wall---”

  “Oh dear,” came his frightened reply. This time he knew for sure that he would be splintered into a silver grave seeing the wicked queen’s eyes silted dangerously at his reflecting glass.

  “What do ye mean by “oh dear” ye’re nae going to tell me that she is still alive.”

  “Gulp. All right, I shant.”

  “What?!” she shrieked making her black cat slither under a table. “How? Impossible?”

  The mirror shook on the wall. “Now, yer highness, remember yer blood pressure.”

  “Ohhh!” she picked up an object and flung it, once again missing the looking glass but he knew when the truth was told it would be his doom.

  “What happened?” she hissed causing and he saw her face become a nice
shade of purple and the veins in her neck to pulsate. “Curses!” she ranted and pounded the table. The cat thinking he was being summoned hissed and ran. The creature only had three of his nine lives left.

  “Well, um, it seams that the dragon did nae eat her but… err, instead, she made the monster her pet.” Condensation began to appear on the mirror. The shrilling scream sent shivers down his silver spine and almost causing him to shatter. Trying his best to calm her majesty, he said, “Look, she is getting married soon, so why do ye nae send her roses with poison thorns. One prick and she’s a goner.”

  Her sharp nails ran down his face. The nerve wracking sound was more than he could bare and he groaned. “Sorry, I though perhaps it was a good idea.”

  “Bah! It has been done, ye fool! The poison needle on the spindle trick.”

  “Aye,” he sighed, “I lost my head.”

  She whirled. “Ye may still,” she threatened making her chest heave with madness.

  “Well, um…” he tried again knowing he was treading on quicksand. “How about ye lock the girl in a tower and make sure ye cut her hair monthly.” He winced at the lethal glare; it was time to keep his mouth shut.

  Not only can the well made plans of mice and men go astray, but some witches can never catch a break, he concluded to himself.

  “Eureka!” she snapped her fingers. “I have it!”

  “Whew! The wicked queen couldn’t afford seven years of bad luck,” mumbled the mirror before signing off.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  She sat by a stream on a blanket twirling a daisy between her dainty fingers. He loves me, a peddle fell to the grass, he love me not. Another petal followed, and another until all was torn away leaving her smiling. Pressing the destroyed daisy to her chest she sighed knowing that the handsome prince did indeed love her. Suddenly an ugly, old hag appeared before her and cackled. Never will ye have yer prince. Ye will die this time for certain. The ugly woman’s hateful laughter rent the air until she disappeared in a puff of smoke.