by Xavier Neal
He's barking up the wrong tree. Dad breaks the laws for no one. Not even sure he's ever bent them aside from using his extensive reach to search for the person who caused my mother's death.
I nod and lower the photo back to the desk, casually sliding it under the calendar that stay on his desk instead of back in his file.
“But this conversation isn't over, Jovi.”
With my mind completely occupied on a different subject, I whisper, “I know.”
He gathers the photos he can see and shoves them back in the file before slipping them back in his briefcase. On the way out of the room he presses a kiss on my forehead. “I'll always do whatever I can to protect you. You're my little princess Jo', no matter how old you get.”
Softly I smile and let him exit the office before I grab the photo and a random photo album off the shelf to conceal the evidence that I need just as much as he does.
Did you know? Did you know this entire time? You knew this entire time and didn't say a goddamn thing? No it's too late now! Much too late!
I send Merrick a quick message giving him the go ahead to come over before preparing to have the worst conversation I ever will in my entire life.
Maybe if you would've been a good friend it wouldn't be this bad, but you weren't. You didn't even try to warn me! How could you betray me like that? How could you let him do this to me? Put me in this position. No! I don't wanna talk to you right now. Space. Just...go. Give me some space.
Jovi
It takes Merrick longer than he had planned to come over. In fact, I end up nibbling through an awkward dinner with Nadie before he even sends me a message finally telling me he's on his way.
The sound of his car grabs my attention before the sight of it. As he pulls up to the curb outside of my house, nausea rocks back and forth in my stomach.
God, I hope I don't throw up. Oh and you....I'm still not talking to you.
He climbs out, the disheveled look proof of the restless days he's been having. Instinctively my fingers reach out for him, but I quickly fold my arms across my chest, gripping the photo tightly.
Nope. Can't cave right now. Can't.
“Baby,” the whisper weakens my knees and trembles my jaw.
Fighting the urge to fall into his arms, I simply clear my throat.
Merrick gives me one glance before he questions, “What's wrong?”
My heart starts to race as the words do their best not to shake as they fall out of my mouth. “You promised if I ever asked you something you would never lie to me. That you would be completely honest. That if I asked you anything you would tell me.”
“Right...”
Bluntly I bark, “Are you Ghost?”
The look on his face gives it away before his mouth does, but that's not enough. I don't want a look. I don't want to be right. I want to be wrong. I want to be so wrong that it hurts to breathe. Merrick wets his lips slowly and adjusts his baseball cap, silence still swaying between us.
Finally he replies, “Yes.”
The three little letters are enough to have me slightly doubling over with instant tears. Shaking my head I simply whisper, “How could you...”
“Baby-”
“Don't you fucking baby me!” I snap harshly. His bottom lip lands between his teeth. “Is that why you wanted to be with me? So you could keep an eye on how close my father is to finding you?”
“Fuck no,” he rushes to say. “I had no fucking idea he was your father before you said it! And by the time you did it was too late. I was...I was already in love with you.”
“Don't...”
“I was in love with you the first time I set eyes on you-”
“Stop...”
“I couldn't explain it then. There was just something, Jovi. Something about you I wanted. Something about you I needed.”
Wiping away the fallen tears, I shake my head. “I trusted you. And you lied to me.”
“I didn't lie to you.”
“On a technicality!” I can tell the blow goes straight to his chest from the way his body seems to curl forward. “You damn sure weren't honest with me!”
In a quiet voice he tries to plead, “Jovi I'm sorry-”
“No!” I shout. “Sorry isn't gonna cut it, Merrick! This isn't a forgotten date or a missed phone call! You're a criminal! A most wanted one at that! And you were just gonna marry me without so much as mentioning it?”
He sighs, “I didn't...I didn't...” Watching it become harder for him to breathe, makes it even harder for me. “I was...I was gonna tell you.”
“When! Minutes before we said 'I do'? Seconds after I signed the paperwork? Before the birth of our first child? Our third?”
His face softens. “You want a big family?”
I did. I wanted a bunch of little McCoys running around.
“That's not...that's not important right now, Merrick. Why didn't you tell me sooner?”
“Because I'm not that person anymore.”
“Really?” I sarcastically laugh. Shoving the picture in his face I snip, “Because this was just a few weeks ago. So I beg to differ.”
Staring at the photo he whispers, “Where did you get this?”
“My father's fucking office.”
His mouth tries to harden. “How'd you know it was me?”
“A girl doesn't forget the car that she rode in the night she lost her virginity.” Coldly I press the picture against his chest. “That's the only thing I regret as much as falling in love with you.”
“You don't mean that,” Merrick croaks, tears sticky in his own speech. “I know you don't.”
“That makes one of us,” I whimper. “I don't even know you, so how could I be in love with you?”
“You do know me!” He shouts tossing the picture to the side. “You fucking know me like no one ever has! Like no one ever will.” Taking a step towards me, he begs, “Please don't give up on us yet Jovi. Let me explain. Give me a chance to tell you everything.”
Slowly I shake my head and wipe away the tears that are still falling. “No.”
“Jo-”
“No, Merrick,” I deny softly. “Just go...”
While I'm expecting a stronger fight, I'm surprised when he backs up slowly towards his car. “Fine.”
“Fine,” I echo.
“But this isn't over.”
In a low uncertain voice I argue, “But it is.”
Merrick slams his car door before accelerating harshly down the road and around the corner. The sound of his screeching tires burns my heart. Clutching my aching chest, I turn around and head for my front door. Just as my hand prepares to touch the knob, I'm grabbed from behind. Desperately I start kicking. I take a sharp breath to scream when a damp rag covers my mouth and nose. After just a few short inhales, my eyelids start to get heavy. Another struggle comes out of me seconds before the blackness lures me away.
Merrick
You ever get to a point where you just can't fathom life getting any fucking worse than it does? Yeah I'm tired of being fucked in the ass again and again. I just...I need just one single moment suspended in time for me to just...fuck I don't know. Not hurt so much?
Walking through the front door after an unplanned drive around town for a couple hours, I'm surprised to see all my brothers and Knox scattered around the living room.
No. I can't fucking have another McCoy pow wow like this.
Madden growls, “Where the fuck have you been?”
Unable to hold back my own anger I toss my keys on the bar. “I went for a fucking drive. In my fucking car. To try to clear my fucking head.”
He strains his body to stay in place. “Why didn't you answer your goddamn phone?”
With a shrug I reply, “Because I didn't feel like fucking talking.”
Shaking his head disapprovingly he starts, “Merrick-”
“Save it, Madden,” I cut him off. “My best fucking friend in the world died two days ago. My fucking fiance hates me. I can't take a fucking lect
ure right now and with all the bullshit life keeps dumping on me, I don't deserve one.”
Drew questions from beside Destin on the couch, “Did you say fiance?”
I nod.
She still is. She was just angry. Confused. We're still getting married. On Thursday. What? We are. Don't...don't argue with me about it. We are! I know she wasn't wearing her fucking ring at all. I know! Don't fucking remind me!
Madden's jaw ticks, but he doesn't reply. Instead he grabs me by the back of the neck and pushes me forward towards the living room. Without a word, Destin types on his keyboard revealing an image that makes me thankful his hand is where it is. My knees buckle as I try collapse in place, which is when he grips me tighter and coldly states, “Lecture time.”
Jovi's body looks lifeless. As still and stiff as I imagine Ben's did.
What the fuck have I done?
Merrick
On a soft cry her name comes out, “Jovi...”
“The Devil wants a word with you,” Madden announces, his grasp tightening to the point I'm not sure if it's to help me stay on my feet or punish me.
If I make it out of this alive, I might just take myself out of the equation now known as life. I can't do anything fucking right. And every time I fuck up someone dies. Is she dead? You saw her body. You really think she's still alive? You're right. She is...She has to be.
“Focus,” Madden mumbles under his breath as The Devil enters the shot, sitting on the bed beside her.
As soon as he smugly smirks I snap, “If she's dead, I swear to God you're fucking next.”
He chuckles and shakes head. “I think you're the last person in a position to threaten someone.”
Don't agree with him! It's not fucking helping!
“Now that I have your fucking attention...wait...do I have your attention now, Ghost?”
In a low grumble I confess, “Yes.”
“Good. Let me start by saying I didn't want to have to do it this way,” The Devil teases. “But since I did I would like to add, I don't fucking appreciate being ignored.”
“I had...family issues.”
“I don't fucking care.” My face tightens. “I don't care if you lost both your goddamn arms and a leg! What I care about is my fucking package.” Not responding forces him to raise his voice. “Where is my fucking package McCoy?”
Calmly I state, “Police impound.”
Madden's thumb digs in deeper.
So that one was to hurt me for sure.
“But you knew that,” I sigh. “That's why you have Jovi.”
“That's the only reason I have the fucking Police Commissioner's daughter,” he corrects. “I thought about taking you-”
I lunge forward. “Trade me!”
Madden yanks me harshly backwards grumbling, “No fucking way.”
The Devil smirks. “See how this is more fun for me?”
Evil fucking bastard.
“Here's the deal Ghost. I want my package delivered. All pieces of it. You have 'til Sunday. I want my package no later than 2 P.M. No bullshit time extensions. If you are a minute later you won't like what I do next.” Before I can say anything he adds, “And no cops. Don't forget every one of those bastards you would call in for a favor works for me. You fucked up. You fix it. It's not their job to clean up all of your fucking messes.”
They do clean up quite a few for us and The Devil.
“No later than 2 McCoy. She's a little too young to die, don't you think?”
“You're not gonna kill her,” Drew argues immediately regretting it.
“Nope,” he smiles so slickly, vomit in my stomach surges upward. “Merrick is.”
My eyes widen. “No the fuck I'm not.” The Devil strokes the side of Jovi's face and I growl, “Don't you fucking touch her.”
Proud he's ruffled me up as much as he has he says, “Killing the Commissioner's daughter is not on my to-do list and if it needs to be done, I'm not stupid enough to leave a trail back to me. I am smart enough to leave one that they'll trace back to you Mr. Merrick McCoy. I suggest you don't fuck me over on this one. Oh! Might wanna act quickly. Cops hunt for their own twice as hard as they do anyone else and there may be clues to hint them in your direction.”
Without giving me the opportunity to say anything else the screen goes black. The new sight frees the gate for me heave the contents of my stomach all over the side of the couch closest to Daniel.
“Damn it!” he shouts shooting up. “Aim!”
Coughing up the remains of the emotions I swallowed, I start to choke on it.
Seems like a fitting death sentence. Don't you fucking save me. Don't encourage anyone else to either.
Madden pounds me on the back releasing the last of the vomit onto the couch. Once it's free, I cough and cough as I turn around to slide my back against the backside of the couch. Tears start pouring out of me uncontrollably. The combination of the two actions seems to be ripping me apart as the misery tries to murder me.
For a few minutes no one moves. No one asks any questions. No one scolds me. No one even tries. For just a moment I'm allowed to feel like the piece of shit I've become.
And I have. I am nothing to be proud of. Not even fucking sure if I ever was.
Suddenly I feel a coolness on my forehead, which lifts my eyes to Knoxie who's squatting in front of me. “I'll clean up the other mess too, but you owe me new sweats.”
“If I make it out of this alive, I'll buy you anything you want.”
“When.” Madden squats down beside her. “I am not losing another fucking family member. Not to The Devil and damn sure not to the cops.”
Surprised at his calmness I try to apologize, “I'm sorry-”
“Fuck that,” he bites. “Start fucking talking. And start at the fucking beginning.”
Suddenly Triple D appears behind him, all three with their arms folded across their chest.
There's a certain fear meets security when Triple D unites with Madden like this. Most of the time, Drew has his side, Destin gets mine and Daniel lands wherever he does, but right now, division doesn't even look like a word in their vocab.
Clearing my throat, I gently nudge Knox's hand away. “When I met Jovi, something happened to me. I don't know exactly how else to explain it other than love at first sight.” My jaw trembles to smile. “And she's all I've been able to see since. Not cars. Not the job. Not working for The Devil. Hell, I should've taken Ben's explosion at me as a wake-up call, but I didn't. The only thing I was concerned about was Jovi.”
“We know all this,” Drew states. “We were there.”
“Yeah, but...” My voice fades as I look back down at my shoes. “There's something about Jovi. Being with her. Being around her. It doesn't just make me wanna be a different guy. It makes me wanna change my whole fucking life. I don't wanna be a street racer any more. I don't wanna work at the shop. I wanna go away with her to school. I wanna start college. I wanna live with her. Have a future with her. I wanna leave this Devil bullshit behind, so...so I asked Jovi to marry me.”
Madden grinds his teeth before turning to Knox. “That's what you went to the mall for that day.”
Knox hesitates before she answers, “Yeah but-”
“You knew my baby brother was about to run away and didn't fucking think to tell me.”
“I-”
“How could you fucking do that to me, Knox?”
“To you?” She shrieks standing up. “All the bullshit you put me through and you have the balls to ask me why I didn't tell you your youngest brother isn't a complete moron like you?”
Madden stands up sharply. “I swear-”
“Enough!” Daniel raises his hand. “One Maury episode at a time. This episode is all about the bad-ass criminal who was dumb enough to fall for the cop's daughter. Now that we've had a sneak peak of next week's episode...finish Merrick.”
Leave it to Daniel to try to lighten the situation. Daniel...or Ben. Fuck, I miss Ben.
Swallowing the new anxie
ty from fucking up their relationship I continue, “She said yes.”