by Dee Ellis
I crumpled into the corner of the couch. Burying my face in the plush arm, I sobbed. He didn’t believe me. After all the shit he had done to me, he thought I was lying. Doing it to get back at him, maybe.
It was not something I would ever consider doing. Finn should know me better than that. All the years of me wanting him, waiting, and feeling like I wasn’t good enough. When I finally had him, why would I throw it away?
Things had been so good the past few weeks. I didn’t want to ruin it with nonsense. I suppose, perhaps Finn and I would never be able to just be. To just happen, like I said.
We were always going to struggle, and maybe it was worth it. Maybe it wasn’t. Right now, I felt like it was, but clearly, he didn’t agree. Finn was storming around the living room, and I was a mess.
“I’ll fucking kill him. You’re mine, Gigi. Doesn’t matter if you want to be or not. I’m done being the good guy, hoping I’m good enough. I’m not. I know that. But…you’re mine.” My eyes flew to his when I realized his voice was tight.
Finn was crying. Back to me, facing the roaring fire, his shoulders were trembling and he was crying. I shoved to my feet and rushed to him. Rounding to his front, I all but climbed him like a tree.
My legs were around his hips, and my arms wound around his thick shoulders. Finn clutched me to him, and we both cried for a moment. I loved him. I think now I knew, without a doubt marching its way through my head or heart, that he loved me too.
“I am yours, Finn. I think I always was. Before either of us knew what it meant. Nothing besides how fucking happy I am right now, with you, kept me from telling you. I thought he’d go away. I don’t want him. I never really did. I don’t want anyone else, Finn. Just you.”
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sure you were scared. I won’t let that pretty motherfucker near you. This is my fucking fault. I should have just been a man and said you were mine, even if you didn’t want me. I pushed you to try shit with this fucker. I’m so sorry, Sweet Girl. So fucking sorry. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” Finn set me on my feet, my body sliding down his, staring at me seriously.
I nodded and burrowed my face into his chest. I realized he smelled like fire and was covered in soot. Must have rushed here after a call. Damn, I loved him.
Coming to Cage first had been a mistake. But he was my big brother who always protected me. Finn seemed to be reading my mind as he spoke next.
“Don’t come to Cage next time, Sweet Girl. You’re mine to take care of now, you get me? You come to me first when shit happens. Fucking hurts that you came to him first, but I get it. No more, you get me? It’s my fucking job to take care of you now.” I offered another nod and snuggled closer.
“I didn’t want you to go to jail. Or get in trouble. You, uh…don’t have the best track record with your temper, baby.” Finn smirked and cupped my face in his large hands.
“I know. I appreciate you trying to protect me, but not if it costs us something. You got me? Come here, Sweet Girl. I was fucking scared. Let me hold you awhile.” So, I did.
Soon, though, he and Cage were talking, devising a plan. Apparently, those calls earlier had gotten Cage some info on Jordan Dexter. Where he lived, where he was from, even a little bit about his past.
Evidently, he had been suspected of having an affair with a student in Boston. Explained why he had come here this year. The boys promised they would do nothing but keep an eye on me. Then Finn made it very clear who was in charge.
“I take you to work or school. If you’re not with me, you’re with Cage or Charli. Here or the condo. Never alone, you got me? I don’t know if this pretty motherfucker is even dangerous, but let’s play it like he is. You hear from him, find anything else, you do like you did with the photo. I’ll tell Diggs to look into it, but keep it quiet. Don’t want to alert the fucker.” Cage just nodded along as Finn decided how we were going to deal with Jordan.
“Call me or Charli if you need anything. Or even Harper or Stella. Don’t stay at the condo alone, Red. He knows you live there.” Charli soothed a hand over Cage’s back as he tensed.
“I’m so stupid for taking him to my place that night,” I shot a look at Finn who bowed his head, “it was childish.” Finn sighed and hooked a thick arm around my neck, kissing my temple.
“My fault. Besides, he might have found out some other way even if you hadn’t. That pretty motherfucker has wanted you forever. Too fucking bad. You’re mine, and that’s how it’s staying.” Cage and he shared a look, and I shared my own with Charli.
It was the first time he had out right claimed something between us. I felt exhilarated. Alive. Turned on as shit, too. We sat around the fire talking about Cage’s own similar situation.
It almost cost him his relationship with Charli; not because of the girl, but because of lies. I should have learned from their example and told Finn right from the start.
Charli and I offered to make dinner, but both guys had to head into work. Charli and Cage stepped out on the porch to say their goodbyes. I was glad, because one, I got some alone time with Finn for my own goodbye. Two, I had seen their goodbyes and would rather not see them again. Gross.
“Sweetheart,” Finn growled low and deep as he held my face in his hands, “I am about to go caveman as shit on you. You’re mine, Gigi. I won’t let someone take you away again. You let me know when you come and go. For now, till we figure out how serious he is. I won’t let you get hurt.” I nodded and lifted on my tip toes to touch my nose to his, my arms hooking at his neck.
“I should have told you. I wasn’t hiding it, baby. I mean, I was, but I thought for good reasons. It was not a good enough reason to lie to you. I won’t again, I promise.” Finn let out a soft sound and lifted me against him.
“Don’t lie to me again, Gigi. I can’t take it. Lies have almost torn us apart more than once. Let’s kick the habit, yeah? Don’t you forget this.” Finn hooked his left hand around my wrist, flashing the tattoo he’d gotten to claim me as his.
“How could I forget, baby? It’s all I have ever wanted.” I cooed before letting him crush me to him, his mouth taking mine.
For longer than I am sure he had time for, he kissed me. Desperate and deep, his tongue tracing my mouth, then plunging inside.
Finn was scared, but he had no reason to be. I had taken my chance to try something else; not only did it land me a crazy stalker, it clarified what I had always suspected. I truly was Finn Cooper’s. I didn’t want to be anything else.
“When will you be home?” I whispered as I rubbed against him, needing more than his kiss.
“Late, Sweetheart. Stay here for me, yeah? I’ll come get you here, okay? Have your girls’ night in with Charli Doll. I…I’ll see you soon.” I pouted up at him, and he laughed the first laugh since he had walked in the door.
“Tarzan act might have made Jane hot.” I pressed closer, and he growled, cupping my backside.
“Well, shit. Might have to go caveman more often, yeah? Mmm, don’t be naughty without me. Keep your pussy locked up tight till tonight. I promise I’ll remind you just why I have the key for it.” That left hand slid between my legs and cupped me roughly, and I moaned.
“Tease. Fucking tease. Go. Save lives. Rescue kittens. Think about how hot you’re leaving your woman.” Finn laughed again, and I smiled before he swatted at my backside.
“I’m supposed to leave you hot and wanting me. That’s what keeps you coming back for more. Be safe for me, yeah?” Finn’s eyes were cloudy, and I hated to worry him so I knew I would obey whatever demands he made now.
“Yes, baby. I’ll stay right here till my Tarzan comes for me. Night, baby. You be safe, for me.” One last lingering kiss, then he was yanking Cage away from his goodbyes to Charli.
We watched them go, and I realized I felt on edge once they were gone. Jordan had me more scared than I had realized. Charli and I ordered in some Indian food, then she rented some movies from pay-per-view.
Settling in beside Char
li, we curled beneath the same blanket as we shared food and popcorn. It wasn’t mani-pedis but it was still a pretty epic night.
Sometime during the night, I dozed off. I woke up with a warm body wrapped around me. It was dark, and I felt groggy as panic shot through me. Then I felt his hand work up my front to close around my throat.
Finn. The tattoo caught the moonlight, and I calmed just like that. I twisted into him, snuggling back as he breathed deeply into my neck. I wanted to go home, wondered how I had missed half the night. Finn murmured something at the back of my neck.
“Take you home, Sweetheart.” I let out a sound of agreement, then Finn was scooping me up.
My arms lassoed around his neck, and he quietly maneuvered us from the house in the darkness. Finn set me gently in the blazer, the snow light and pretty in the early morning light.
It was gray out so I knew it wasn’t yet morning. Finn pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead before closing me in. Seconds later, he was taking my hand and the car was warming up.
“Missed you, baby. I’m so tired, Finn.” I curled into a ball as he yanked my seat belt over me.
“Lot happened today, Sweetheart. We’ll go home and sleep all day.” I knew he couldn’t for some reason, work or something, but I smiled and nodded.
I barely felt the car moving and I was glad the condo was close to the cottage. In no time at all, Finn was lifting me back out, cradling me close. I loved him for being so sweet.
My face burrowed into his neck, smelling his soap and cologne. Warm lips pressed to my forehead and I smiled when he gave me a squeeze. I heard the door open and shut, and I smelled his place.
Lots of feelings shot through me. I felt like his home was more mine than the one across the hall. I felt safe and cozy, but at the same time, I needed something. Something to make me feel like I was, in fact, his and he was mine.
“Finn…I might not be tired now.” I moved my lips at his neck as he carried me down the hall towards his room.
“Mmm, no? I think you need rest. I’ll make you sleepy, baby.”
Warmth spread from my core out and my kisses changed. My teeth came out at his skin, my tongue circling the tattoo running up the side of his neck. Finn growled, and I fell backwards into softness.
My knees were shoved open, and my leggings yanked down. Before I could say anything, his face was between my thighs, and I cried out. Fingers spread me open, and his tongue circled my swollen lips, both of us moaning harshly.
“Please. I just need to feel you. Please.” Fingers raked at his shoulders, tugging at the shirt he wore.
Finn lifted up, licking his lips as I watched, and I whimpered. Within moments, we were naked and he was pressing close. I clutched at him, realizing as I did how scared I’d been today.
I didn’t know what Jordan was capable of, but I didn’t want to lose Finn. Not again. I didn’t think I could take it again. Finn thrust once and we cried out, the room quiet except for our lovemaking.
Finn seemed as desperate and afraid as I was. For what felt like hours, he pinned me to the bed and made love to me. One large hand held both of mine captive over my head. The other cupped my face and brought my lips to his.
He whispered over and over, the same thing. It might have scared me if it wasn’t him. Finn never scared me, though; even when he got intense or angry. Finn was what made me feel safe and whole. Complete. Like I was home.
“You belong to me, Sweet Girl. Only me. Only me.”
It didn’t scare me because it was true.
“No. Shit. This is amazing!” I was screaming, and Cage shot me a look.
“Hope my girl’s as excited as you. Thanksgiving is a big deal for our families so I wanted to make it special this year. I mean…. you don’t think it’s too much?” Cage was nervous, but Finn laughed, clapping him on the shoulder.
It was a sunny day, but cold and windy, and his life was about to change. It already had when he met Charli Dixon. We were at the Fire Station, to discuss my troubles.
Instead, Cage introduced us to Charli’s brothers. One of whom showed up with a ring. Because my big brother was going to ask Charli to marry him. Epic.
“That girl loves you almost as much as you love her. I think it’s sweet, bro-tato-chip.” Finn shot me a long look and yanked me close.
“Charli will think it’s perfect,” Maisie Dixon spoke up, bouncing in her boots, “redo the moment for her. I might have heard you doing some of that already.” Cage flushed, and I knew I was going to bond with Charli’s sister-in-law’s.
“I want the story behind that later. Cage, I don’t think Charli will care how you do it. Let me see the ring again.” Cage was being ultra-romantic and I loved to see this side of him.
They had exchanged books with sweet notes in them as they got to know each other. Charli loved just about all literature and had gotten Cage to read some of the classics.
Their first note was in Pride and Prejudice. I took credit for that because my rating scale sent him looking for ideas on what kind of women he should be finding. Led him right to the library.
Cage and Lola had found a rare early edition, and it was beautiful. Hooked carefully inside, beneath a sweet passage, was the ring.
It had been her mother’s ring, and Cash, her oldest brother, had brought it all the way from their home in Iowa. It was antique with a princess cut diamond nestled between intricate platinum work. It suited Charli just right.
In a few hours, we were all to gather at their place. Charli had been engaged as a teen; Her hometown hero of a boyfriend proposed in front of the whole town, just before he went off to war and never came back.
Cage wanted to rewrite her painful memories with ones that were sweet, and of course, all about him. Cage Cooper in love was a man that put my book boyfriends to shame.
“Mama’s ring,” Colton Dixon, her handsome and sweet middle brother got emotional, “will make it different. Make it right.”
The two brothers were menacing at first, but with their wives at their side, and talking about their baby sister, they were adorable hunks of mush.
“What I’m hoping for. Has to be right. Has to make her forget the first man who asked.” Cage was nervous, bouncing from foot to foot, clutching the book close.
“Bro, it’s right. It will be right, and I think Charli Doll already forgot just about everything but you.” Finn was quick to reassure him, playing the supportive wingman.
I laid my head at his chest, so glad the two of them were solid again. It would have killed me to be the reason they fell apart. They were closer than anyone I knew, besides maybe Cage and I.
We were close to Regan and Tegan too, but the slight age difference and their full lives left little time for us to get together.
Since Charli came around, we had gotten closer; Charli brought us all together because we were all so drawn to her.
It was not just Cage that had fallen in love with Charli Dixon. Now, Cage was ready to make it official. The Dixon twins, Maisie and her sister Sadie, were talking about a spring wedding.
Before they got too ahead of themselves, though we all knew Charli’s answer would be yes, Cage had something to say. I felt his tension before he spoke up and tears sprung into my eyes.
“Cash, can I ask you to talk her down the aisle? I know that’s what she’ll want. I wanted to ask you first so you know that I know what it means to her.” Cash was a monster of a man, even towering over Finn, and I watched him soften like a fluffy marshmallow.
“Abso-fucking-lutely, Cage. Kind of thought it might be Daddy once…I would be honored, man.” His dark gray eyes swung away, but I saw the glitter of emotion in them. The Dixons were my new favorite people.
“Thank you, Cash. Means so much. Uh…Finn…” Cage cleared his throat, but we all heard the emotion in his voice.
“Yeah, bro?” Finn clearly was a little less attuned to male emotions.
“Would you, uh…I’d like it…I want you to be my best man, Finn.” I heard his heart
sputter beneath my ear, then start to race.
Finn said nothing for a long moment, his arms crushing me to him. Then, suddenly, they fell away and I watched them embrace. Tears flooded my eyes, and we let them hug it out for a few moments. Soon, we broke it up because we had a proposal to attend.
When we gathered at the cottage awhile later, I was excited. Thrilled for my big brother and my new bestie. They both deserved the syrupy, sweet happiness they had. Glancing up at Finn, I realized something. We deserved to be golden too.
As he smiled at me, emotion shining in his eyes, I thought maybe we already were.
13
Cage beat me to it. Dick was proposing to his girl before I even looked at rings for my woman. It didn’t make me jealous. Well, maybe a little because he was a sight to see, so fucking happy.
We were happy too; or at least on the path to being golden again. I would marry Gigi, I had no doubts. Right now, I was fine taking her on our dates and having her waiting for me at the end of my day.
Honestly, putting a ring on her finger changed very little. No name change was necessary, which was a bonus. I had started thinking about moving out of the condo; to some place that hadn’t been fucked up by my past or hers. Other than that, Gigi and I had been playing house almost from the beginning.
After the past few months, rough as they were, we seemed more solid than ever. The only thing threatening that was her stalking fucking professor, Jordan Dexter. Which I planned to put an end to, one way or another.
Cage and I had dug up some info on the prick, thanks to our buddies on the force. Diggs, a detective we had gone to high school with, had done us a solid and gave info that could get him in trouble.
“Looks like he dated a freshman student at his last school. Just this side of legal, actually. Parents didn’t seem to care. The school was another story. Dexter has some important friends; comes from a wealthy background. Some hush money, and he just had to move schools. Red’s not even the first student at Loyola.” I intended to see to it she just might be the last.