by Dee Ellis
Love in his beautiful blue eyes, so crystal clear with emotion it was almost too much to look at him. To see him looking at me like I was his everything. Forever.
“I always loved you, Sweet Girl. Too much, sometimes. Never enough others. Now, I think I got it right. I fucking love you. Always love you.” Pleasure ripped through me, so powerful that if I didn’t have Finn holding me, I was sure I might rip apart.
Finn was always going to hold me together. Keep me centered on the right path. That camera had given me the courage to explore my passion. A few photo sessions with friends became a business.
When I felt uncertain or scared, Finn was there to remind me how beautiful he thought my work was. How beautiful he thought the way I saw the world was.
Finn thought we were beautiful too; as flawed and painful as the journey to get to us had been. The truth about Bree, for us both, could not change that.
Had I doubted that, her desperate attempts tonight might have worked. Instead, I knew we were fucking golden, and if I walked in on what I expected to, it would change nothing.
It was always going to be Finn and Gigi. No matter how littered with mistakes our path became. Or how much hurt we caused each other. Nor how many times we had to try to get it right.
We had gotten it right, at last. Finn was right. Bree could have those pieces of us she had taken; we didn’t need them to keep working.
Finding her naked astride him, moaning and cursing his name, rattled me if I’m being honest. I recovered quickly, though, because despite the twisted sheets and smell of sex, I knew better.
I looked at Finn--my Finn--and knew better. Still stung to watch his hands move over her naked body as he shoved her off him, pleading with me to believe him.
Of course, I believed him. Finn moved close and I pressed back into him, needing him to feel that. Not to doubt me or us again. We were fucking golden.
I twisted to glance up at him and his mouth crashed into mine. Desperate. Needy. God, I loved this man. He let me breathe. Filled my lungs and my soul with all the good he didn’t know he had to give.
“I fucking love you, Gigi.” Finn husked, throaty and uncertain.
“Love you too, baby. Now, listen close. It’s about to get good.”
“Look, Gigi, I came to make things better between us. Finn just…he does not care if he hurts you. It kills me that I ever let him touch me or use me to hurt you.” Bree didn’t even bother to cover up as she pouted up from her perch on the floor.
“Damn, you don’t think I believe you, do you? You don’t think I know it’s been you stalking us and following me. Using my own trick to track me, to hack into my phone? Think I forgot who you were once? Once upon a time, you were a little hacker nerd. Used to hack into school records when sucking the teachers cock didn’t keep you from flunking. I remember Bree. I remember Rome, too,” Bree cocked her head and listened, looking hopeful. I hated, even now, to have to hurt her.
“I remember getting drunk. Letting you touch me. Letting you make me come. Do you remember that I said Finn’s name? That I said how much I loved him when you held me after? That I wanted him so badly it was breaking my heart? I never should have blurred the lines; I never meant to confuse us, Bree.” Bree leapt to her feet and crossed the room, her hand reaching towards me.
“Gigi…it was so good between us once. I love you so much, and for a while, I think you loved me too. Enough to forget Finn for a while.” My head shifted side to side as I shoved her hand away.
“I never forgot Finn, you know that. I couldn’t. I tried, but I never meant to make you think that we could happen. I was drunk. You know you got me drunk and took advantage of my feelings for Finn. I didn’t…I never knew you had feelings for me, Bree. I loved you once. I really did. Like I love Tegan or Regan. Charli. Not the way I love Finn. I wish you had just…told me.” Bree backed away, shaking her head as if refusing to believe me.
“No. No, you came for me and you wanted me. You touched me and kissed me, and you wanted me. Me! You loved me. Finn just hurts you, baby. He always did, honey bun. Don’t you see that? How can you not see that?” I sighed and moved closer, even when Finn tried to yank me back.
“Oh, Bree. I did love you. Not like this.” I nodded towards her disheveled appearance. “Not the person you have become. I loved the girl who laughed with me about hot boys in books. Who sat on my parents’ deck and braided my hair. The girl I swam with and who taught me about makeup. I would have always loved that girl. You are not that girl any more. Not just because of me. Not just because of this. I talked to your father today.” Bree let out a string of curses as she began pacing the foot of the bed. Naked as the day she was born.
“Why? Why would you talk to daddy? You know how I feel about him. I hate him. I fucking hate him.” Sighing, I stepped closer, Finn moving with me.
“Bree. Your father is coming tonight. You need to go home. You need to face your father. He wants to see you, pretty girl.” I reached out, closing my arms around her slender shoulders.
Though I coldly commented on her relationship with her father once, I knew it was not good. For years, it had been strained between them, and her mother just sat by and watched.
The trip we took to Italy, that ultimately changed us forever, was a feeble attempt on his part to mend fences. What I didn’t know at the time was her mother didn’t just ignore their relationship; she wasn’t entirely aware of it.
I reached out to Jackson Whitmore on my L train ride here. I didn’t know what else to do. How else to contain or control Bree. I needed help and her father was my last resort. In ten city blocks, I learned a helluva lot about Bree.
“Gigi, thank God. I had no idea how to reach you. We have been looking for Bree for ages. Months. I need her home right now. Things with her mother have worsened.” Jackson, the man I knew as her father, was cool and collected. That was not the Jackson I spoke to today.
Bree was good with secrets. Especially ones close to home. The affairs her father, a powerful lobbyist, had since we were kids. The brave face her mother put on while she was dying inside. More so than we could have known. Seems that trip to Rome was more than penance for him being a shitty father. It was a diversion.
Almost three years ago, Bree’s mother had been admitted for a suicide attempt. Jackson never brought his wife home. When asked at press events or at a party without his stunning wife on his arm, he lied.
Marta was off in Europe. Safari in Africa. Never locked away dealing with demons Jackson’s money could never tame. Bree seems to have inherited those demons.
“Marta wants to see you, pretty girl. Been asking for you, Jackson said.” I held Bree close, rocking her a little.
Anger coiled through my veins, settling deep in my chest. Not at Bree; though, I’d felt that tonight too. At her worthless father who had to have seen the signs.
Who threw money and gifts, lies and avoidance at Bree when he did see them. Bree was a lovely girl once and might still have been. I loved that Bree.
I sank to the floor with her and Bree sobbed. Finn thrust clothes at us and turned away while I dressed her. Sometime later, Cage and Diggs showed up. I had not exactly bluffed about the cops. I mean, Diggs was kind of a cop. I say kind of because he should have seen the signs too.
Instead, when he started figuring out it was Bree, he let her sickness be confused for something else. Because Bree was smart and realized when he had her figured out.
Took just one romp in the front of his unmarked car for him to let the trail of her stalking go cold. Cage and Finn would make Diggs pay for that somehow, I have no doubt.
Tonight, I didn’t want cops or cuffs or any more angry words. I held Bree until her father showed up late in the evening. Told her I didn’t hate her, even though I could. Part of me thought I should.
All the pain Bree had tried to cause us earned her that. When I thought of the pain she was about to face, of the pain she likely struggled with in her own head every day, I knew I was lucky. I had Fi
nn and we were golden, and that meant I had it far better than most.
I might not ever forget the past months of hell Bree’s infatuation had caused us. To be honest, I was kind of thankful for it. It truly had forced Finn and I to figure our shit out. It let us find what parts of the truth we needed to move forward. I knew I didn’t want to lose him. Didn’t matter if he had slept with Bree. Apparently, I had too.
Bree went with her father, and I truly hoped she could get better. I could not let her in my life again, and I would miss her. Would mourn the girl she once was.
I forgave her before she left and it just seemed to hurt her more. I don’t think until she saw her father, Bree truly realized how bad it had gotten. We said goodbye and both knew it was likely the last time we would see each other.
Diggs was still apologizing to Finn, who broke three fingers on his face. It had been kind of hot seeing Finn lose his shit like that. Not going to lie.
Finn stripped the bed and joked about burning it. We did burn the photos, along with the roses and notes. I didn’t think Bree needed an assault or stalking charge added to her troubles.
It was over.
Nothing more stood in our way; no more reason to pretend or hide or lie. That night, we talked about everything. One last time. I told him I barely remembered it, but could remember pieces of a night with Bree. One that involved her touching me, making me come, kissing me with her lips tasting of me.
Finn remembered his own night better. Relief washed over me when he clarified there had been no sex. Just what the photos Bree had tortured me with showed.
Finn said he remembered her almost looking like me, almost sounding like me. It changed nothing. Alongside the memories from O’Malley’s, we buried the ashes of the photos. I liked closure, I guess. Needed it for us both.
Snow fell in huge clusters as he carried me inside, crossing the hall to my place. I don’t know if either one of us could be at his place ever again.
Now, we sat on the floor, days before Christmas, wrapping presents we’d spent the day shopping for. Finn seemed especially excited about the holiday, and I was too wrapped up in us spending it with our families to ask questions.
Didn’t even notice him talking with Regan about ordering a special bow.
One he had to rent.
19
Gigi Cooper is going to be my wife. As long as she says yes in about two hours. Sitting in the Cooper’s home, the entire family sitting around a massive tree, I am as anxious as I have ever been. Excited. Impatient. I can’t wait to ask.
The entire family knows and the fuckers keep looking at us with gooey looks. If they ruin this proposal for me, I might light their perfect fucking tree on fire.
That we're sitting together on Christmas after all the shit that happened lately is a fucking miracle.
I thought for sure that night with Bree was going to wreck my fucking life. Bree lying naked in my bed with my woman on her way home was the last thing I wanted to deal with. Thankfully, my woman had it handled while I just about lost my shit.
Gigi forgave her for everything. I’m not so forgiving. Not yet. I kind of hate the bitch. For one, she did everything she could to steal my woman away.
Gigi is everything to me; my entire fucking world. I don’t even know how to be me without her. Had Bree pulled that off, she might have ended up in a different kind of hospital than she’s residing in now.
Secondly, Bree not only had my woman and made her come, the bitch had me too. I recalled more of that night, and thankfully, it was nothing more than some head. Some kissing. I might have had her tits in my hand. Nothing more.
Still, it hurt Gigi to hear the truth. This time, Gigi’s truth returned the favor and it still stung to think about.
It was over now, though. Bree had hurt us, but not enough to damage what we had. I think Gigi figured out the truth before that night. Why she stayed, knowing I lied, I don’t know.
Maybe the same reason I stayed, knowing I wasn’t good enough. Because it was always going to be us, like I told Bree. Through the pain, the fuck ups, it would always have ended up with us together. I have no doubt now.
“Who wants cinnamon rolls and coffee?” Gwen announces, tearing me from my thoughts.
That’s my cue. With the floor littered with paper and everyone in pajamas, a Cooper tradition, we all agree.
Except, I’m going to take my woman out on the deck with ours. Because her roll is special. The rolls and coffee, a special blend Deacon makes, is also a tradition. I figured it was the best way to segue from our presents to our future.
“Come on, Sweet Girl.” I urge as we take our plates, Gwen winking as she hands me the very special one.
It’s snowing out and the lake is frozen and it’s fucking perfect. It’s not that cold, despite the inch or two of snow. With slippers on our feet, I tug my woman out onto the deck.
A glance back shows the family pressed up against the windows, watching. I almost laugh. It gets choked in my throat. I’m so fucking nervous I don’t know how I’m going to do this right.
“I love this lake. Remember all the summers we spent here?” Gigi muses as we lean up against the railing, steam from our coffee billowing between us.
“I do. I love it here too.” I did, because I have so many memories of Gigi here.
I meant what I said to Cage. One day, I wanted to settle down out here. Not yet, though. For now, we had that house waiting back at the city and an entire life time to build memories there. I could not wait.
After Christmas dinner here, we’re heading back to the city. Cage and Charli will meet us at the house for an evening just the four of us. As long as Gigi says yes, of course.
“Today has been so perfect. Two holidays down, Cooper.” Gigi winks at me and reaches for a scoop of the icing on her roll.
“Perfect. I remember one summer here. One day of one summer.” My hand trails over the satiny back of her pajama top and she shudders. Damn, I love her.
“Mmm, I remember.” I watch Gigi’s hand swirl through the icing, uncovering the ring nestled in the center. She doesn’t see it yet.
“I saw you doubting yourself. Your future. What you were doing, and where you might be going. I saw it, but I couldn’t believe it. You’re the smartest, most talented person I’ve ever known. Brilliant. I saw in you, everything I was feeling. How could it be the same for you? I’m not smart or talented. We were the same, though. That night, out on this deck. I felt like I knew who I was for a minute. Didn’t make sense, and I knew I didn’t deserve it. For a minute, standing out here with you, I was yours. I was whatever you needed me to be, and that was the first time I felt worth something. The first moment I knew I was in love with you.” Gigi stops moving, her icing covered finger pausing in midair.
“Finn…” Those two-toned eyes fill with tears, and I feel her heart thudding. I feel it.
The air is heavy, and I can sense them watching us. I need to do it right. I drop to my knee in the snow, thick and wet flakes dotting her hair and wetting her silk PJ’s. Gigi gasps and I take her hand, bringing her finger to my mouth.
With an evil smirk, I suck her finger into my mouth as we both moan. Then, I scoop up more frosting from her roll where it rests on the dock ledge. The ring is in there too.
It’s dirty and messy and fucking perfect. Tears blur my vision as I stare up at the woman I don’t deserve, but don’t know how to be without.
“Open your mouth, Sweet Girl.” Gigi obeys and her tongue swirls around my thumb and forefinger, where I hold the ring.
When I bring it back, clean of frosting, her eyes go wide. Tears slip down her temples as she tips her head back and laughs into the sky.
Fuck, she’s beautiful and perfect. I think I might be man enough, because of her, to really deserve her.
“Marry me. Give me all your keys. Our shit is messy and dirty, and I fucking love it. I fucking love you, Gigi Cooper. I want to fight fires and be your man. Forever.” Gigi sinks to the ground in front of me.
“Yes! Yes. So much yes. All the yes. I love you, Finn. You are messy and dirty and I fucking love you. We’re golden as shit now, yeah?” I laugh and she does too, both of us crying.
Shaky hands lift her wrists to my face. I kiss each one, then kiss the “F” she had tattooed inside her left wrist just recently. It matches the “G” on my own hand. I lean forward and capture her lips, kissing her deeply as the entire world goes muted.
It’s wet and cold, but I feel hot and hungry as I crush her to me. I don’t feel the snow blanketing us or the chill of the wind that whips around us. I taste the frosting, taste Gigi, and taste my future in that kiss.
Her and me, that house waiting in the city with the huge fucking bow Regan rented for me. Fires and me at Cage’s back, and that crazy family that’s watching us from inside the house. They gave us a few moments before they rushed us.
I let Gwen yank Gigi away from me. They all saw the ring last night, but they ooh and ahh over it on her hand. I step back beside Cage and Deacon. We watch them go on and on, and we let them. Because we love them. I feel like maybe I do look at Gigi the way Deacon looks at Gwen.
I know I love her more than anything, and I can’t wait to come home to her the way he gets to come home to Gwen.
Happy with a family and looking beautiful in the kitchen making cookies. Or in her studio making those stunning photos she takes.
Or sitting on my couch, watching Dr. Who and being the beautiful nerd I love.
I’ll take her anyway she wants to let me have her.
“It’s…perfect….” Gigi gasps as we stand in front of our new home.
I smile down at her, holding it together although my entire life is about to change. Doesn’t matter because I have her. Days after the shit with Bree, I knew we couldn’t stay at the condo much longer.
Not that I had intended to anyway. The house closed about a week later, and I leased my place to Hunter. Seems he can’t stand the memories of his own perfect little house.