by Tara Sivec
"Is that all you're going to do?" I asked.
"No," Liz replied as she looked up from the paper she was signing. "Next time she runs by I'm going to kick her."
Not conventional by any means, but I was okay with that. I was daydreaming about shoving a Roman candle in her pants and dousing it with lighter fluid.
"So, Melissa seems a little…high strung," Carter said to Jim.
Jim nodded his head in agreement. "She's a cute kid, but I can only stand her in small doses. This one time we took her to dinner with us and she was being a nightmare so Liz made her go sit out in the car while we paid the bill. We got halfway home before we realized she wasn't in the car," he laughed. "Remember that Liz? Hilarious!"
Carter looked at me in horror and I tried not to make eye contact. The whole way here all I did was brag about how good Liz and Jim were with Gavin and how they'd be naturals at parenting. Oops. I forgot about that story. In their defense, Melissa was Satan. I would have driven off without her too.
Melissa made another lap through the kitchen and true to her word, Liz stuck her foot out. The annoying third-grader went sprawling across the floor.
"NO WIRE HANGERS EVER!" Liz yelled at her.
"You're weird," Melissa stated as she stood up and went running back out of the room.
"Nice work there, Mommy Dearest," I told her.
"So, Liz, when you have kids of your own, how are you going to discipline them?" Carter asked.
I gave him a pointed look. We were supposed to be inconspicuous here. Asking blunt questions like that was sure to send up a red flag.
Liz shrugged. "Eh, I'm not big on discipline. If it's funny and no one is bleeding, you're not in trouble. That's my philosophy."
Gavin walked in then and leaned his head on my arm.
"Melissa told me no one is allowed near her no-no zone. What does that mean? I don't like her. She's loud. I told her my mommy wasn't afraid to punch a kid," he said with a sigh.
We heard Melissa yelling in the other room and some loud banging.
"What the hell is she doing in there?" Liz asked.
"The cat's being bad," Gavin said.
Liz and Jim’ cat was known to be a little ball of terror, wreaking havoc on unsuspecting people when they least expected it. One time, when I was on the floor tickling Gavin, she hurtled through the air from God knows where and landed on my back with her teeth and claws inserted two inches deep into my skin. I hated that cat, but I think I hated Melissa more. Hopefully the cat was putting her in her place.
"Did the cat scratch you guys?" I asked, looking over his arms for claw marks.
"No, she won't stay in the suitcase," he explained.
All the adults at the table looked at each other in silence. At the sound of another thump from the living room, we all jumped up and ran out of the kitchen.
***
After making sure Melissa hadn't immediately moved herself into serial killer territory by suffocating a cat, we headed home.
"That really wasn't the best representation of their parenting skills," I tried to explain as Carter pulled out of their driveway.
"Hey, Gavin," Carter said as he glanced in the rear-view mirror. "What new word did Aunt Liz teach you today?"
"Ladyboner," Gavin said as he looked out his window.
Carter gave me a pointed look.
"Aunt Liz said you got a ladyboner for Daddy. Did you buy him a present? I want one too," Gavin complained.
After stopping at my house to pick up a few things, we went back to Carter’s and put Gavin down for a nap. Carter finally gave up trying to convince me that Liz and Jim were off the list when I said one word.
Drew.
If I was willing to give that giant child a try, he needed to keep an open mind with my friends. At least we agreed to wait until after the store opening tomorrow to tell Gavin that we would be moving. If we told him now, he would bug us every minute from now until we moved asking if it was time yet. I didn't need to fight the urge to lock him out of the house while I was busy with the store. One person can only take so much.
***
After Gavin's nap, Claire’s dad stopped by to pick him up for a sleepover. He walked right in the front door without knocking and proceeded to make his way through every room. Once he had seen all there was to see, he told me the house was "good enough." Oddly, that was the nicest thing he had said to me since we met, and I kind of felt like we had a moment.
I leaned in to give him a hug and he stopped me with his hand to my forehead.
"You don't want to do that, son."
I stepped back and gave him a sympathetic look.
"Nam, huh? Still hard for you to get close to people?" I asked.
"No. I'm still not sure you aren't gay and if you try to play grab-ass, it's gonna get real awkward when I have to snap your fingers in two."
I was going to break that man one of these days, mark my words.
We said our good-byes to Gavin and Claire left soon after to head up to the shop and get a few last minute things made for tomorrow's opening.
I offered to meet her up there after I showered and ran a few errands.
Claire had given me a spare key to the shop, so I let myself in through the front door two hours later. It was dark outside and I left the lights to the store off as I carefully made my way to the kitchen in the back.
I heard music playing and rounded the corner of the kitchen to see Claire licking melted chocolate off of her middle finger. My dick sprang to life as I watched her swirl her finger through her mouth and sway her body to the erotic beats of the song that played.
I rounded the edge of the counter where she worked and stood behind her, placing my arms on either side of her with my hands flat on the counter. I leaned my body close to hers, bringing one hand up to move her hair away from her neck and pushed it behind her shoulder. She continued to work, flipping chocolate molds over and tapped the finished product out onto towels so nothing would break, her body swaying to the music and sliding against me every so often. When I put my mouth on the side of her neck, her motions got choppy.
"Are those chocolate penises and boobs?" I asked.
"Yes," she moaned as I let the tip of my tongue taste her skin. "Party favors...shit...mmmmm."
I smiled against her neck when she moaned and placed another open-mouth kiss there, this time letting my teeth graze her skin. I watched as goose bumps flushed her skin and listened to her take a shuddering breath. I continued to nip and gently suck on the side of her neck until she finally got fed up with concentrating on the chocolate molds. She dropped them to the counter and smacked her hands down next to mine, dumping over a bowl of melted chocolate in the process. The warm liquid splattered onto her hand and ran off the edge of the counter, pooling on the floor.
"Shit!" Claire laughed as she lifted her hands from the counter and tried to shake off some of the chocolate on them. She bowed her head to look at the puddle on the floor, and I reached up and moved her hair all the way around to the front of her other shoulder so the back of her neck was wide open. I swiped my finger through the mess of melted chocolate on the counter and then trailed it along the back of her neck, leaving a smudge of chocolate behind on her skin.
"Did you just get chocolate in my hair?" she asked distractedly.
My hand snaked around her waist and I pushed it under the hem of her shirt until I touched the smooth, warm skin of her stomach. I moved my mouth towards the back of her neck and slid my hand down into her pants. My fingers slid right inside her underwear and through the soft triangle of curls. I attached my lips to her chocolate-coated skin and gently sucked as two of my fingers slid down and glided through her.
"Oh my God," she moaned softly as I pushed and pulled my fingers through her, coating them with her wetness. "Forget it, you can put chocolate wherever you want."
She felt so good, better than anything else in the world. I could stand here touching her all night and never tire of it.
I
nibbled and sucked at the back of her neck, making sure to remove all of the chocolate I'd placed there. I was happy to learn that the spot right below her hairline drove her insane. Every time my teeth grazed that area, she would moan and jerk her hips into my hand. I lifted my free hand from the counter and pushed it under her shirt, lifting the cup of her bra up and over one of her breasts as I went. I cupped the fullness of her in my palm and then took two fingers and circled them all around her nipple. I copied the same motions with my other hand, my fingers circling through the heat between her legs.
The beats of the music and the sound of her soft moans filled the room, and I was about two seconds away from exploding in my pants just by listening to her and feeling her come apart in my hands. I rocked my hips into her ass and it was my turn to moan. She was soft against my hardness, wet against my warm fingers and the skin of her neck tasted salty and sweet, like the chocolate covered pretzels she made. I was about to say something really stupid like tell her she was the yin to my yang. But in all honesty, she was. I wanted more than anything for her to be mine. Forever. That thought should have scared me. If it was any other woman, it probably would. But not Claire. Nothing about her scared me, except the thought of losing her.
Her hips started moving faster and I kissed my way over to her ear.
"I love you so much," I whispered, sliding my hand lower and pushing two fingers into her tight heat. Claire moaned loudly as I moved my fingers in and out of her and my other hand continued to tease her nipple.
My hands were suddenly empty as they were pulled out of her and off of her breast when she abruptly turned to face me. We both looked down at the front of her shirt at the mess of chocolate that was all over it from my hands and from her leaning into the spill on the counter. I laughed until she brought both of her hands of to my cheeks and wiped the chocolate on them all over my face.
"I love you more than chocolate," she said with a smile.
Her hands slid down the front of my shirt, leaving a trail of chocolate in their wake, and went to work on my pants. Before I knew it, she had them shoved down to my thighs. I reached for her hips but she batted my hands away.
"No, no, no. It's my turn to play," she said with a wicked smile on her lips.
My dick jumped against my stomach like it was getting ready to do a jig. When she licked her lips and looked down at it, I whimpered. She reached behind her back for a second, fiddling around with something. Before I could tell her that now was not the time to start cleaning up our mess, she kissed my lips and I felt something warm and wet slide around the head of my penis.
She pulled back, slid down my body and my mouth dropped open.
Oh, sweet Jesus, is that...is she going to...
She wrapped her hand around the base of me and her lips around the head and sucked me into her mouth. I didn't even know what kind of incoherent expletives flew from my mouth. I may have said the words "shamwow" and "jiggidy" somewhere in there. I leaned over her and my hands smacked onto the counter sending splatters of chocolate all over the front of my shirt as Claire began licking all around, making sure to get every last drop of melted chocolate she rubbed there with her fingers when she kissed me.
She was licking chocolate off of my dick. I felt like I was in a porno—a really, really good porno with better music and a superb story line. Not like that really creepy one with the guy who put peanut butter on his johnson and let his dog…
Her lips slid around and down my length, taking as much of me in her mouth as she could, and I forgot about the dick licking dog. Thank God. She started a slow rhythm, moving her head up and down, sucking harder every time she got to the tip, before plunging her mouth back down on me. I felt like I should pump my fists in the air or give Claire a round of applause, but that would quickly turn this into bad porno territory.
I could feel my balls tighten and I wrapped my hands around her arms and pulled her up to me. As good as it felt to be in her mouth, I needed inside of her right now. I slid my hands into the waistband of her pants and underwear and slid them down her hips far enough so she could pull one leg out.
Lifting Claire up, I sat her on the counter right at the edge, moving her to the side a little so she wasn't sitting in chocolate. I pushed her knees apart so I could get between them. Her hands fell into the puddle of chocolate on either side of her hips and I held her around her waist as she started to slip through the mess. She smacked a gooey coated hand onto my shoulder, leaving a chocolate hand-print behind and making us both laugh. She brought a chocolate coated finger from her other hand up to her mouth and spread the sugary wetness along her bottom lip.
Oh, sweet Jesus, was that porn music playing in the background? Was I starring in "Cocks and the Chocolate Factory" or "Chocolate Melts in Your Vagina, Not in your Hand"?
I swooped in and kissed her, sucking her lip into my mouth and greedily licking the chocolate off with my tongue. Once I got it all, she pushed her tongue past mine and swirled it through my mouth. She tasted like Claire and chocolate, and I had a moment where I wanted to cry like a baby because my dream for the past five years was right in front of me. I grabbed the back of both of her knees and pulled her legs up around my waist, my hands sliding down her thighs and over her ass. I sucked her tongue into my mouth and pulled her closer to the edge of the counter, my hardness resting against her wet heat.
Her arms wrapped around my shoulders and I pushed my hips forward, sinking into her slowly until my pelvis was flush against hers. My mouth never left hers as I stayed deep inside of her and swiveled my hips, grinding myself against her. She whimpered into my mouth and pushed herself harder against me, creating friction right where she needed it. Her legs tightened around my hips and I squeezed my hands onto her ass, rocking her harder and faster against me. It was killing me not move, not to slide in and out of her heat that squeezed around me, but I knew she liked what I was doing and that's all that mattered.
Our kiss never ended as I felt her start to tighten around me. Her hips moved faster and she clawed at my shoulders as I moved against her and rotated my hips, pushing her into oblivion.
I deepened the kiss and swallowed her cries as she came. Her hands latched onto my hair and I couldn't have cared less that I'd have to wash chocolate out of it tonight. I removed a hand from her ass and rested it on the counter next to her for more leverage as I pulled almost all the way out of her and slammed back inside, stars bursting behind my closed eyes at the sensations that shot up through me.
Claire's moans and muttered curses spurned me on to move faster and harder. Thank God for that because there was no way I could be gentle now. I needed to fuck her on the kitchen counter, plain and simple.
My free hand slid under one of her knees so her leg draped down over the crook of my elbow. I lifted her leg higher and pushed deeper inside of her until we both moaned.
I thrust into her hard and fast, my hips moving at lightening speed. The smell of chocolate filled the air, her hot wetness coated me as I pumped in and out of her and the sounds of our bodies slapping together shot my orgasm through me like a freight train. I only lasted a few more seconds, shouting her name as I came, my thrusts never slowing down. My orgasm ripped through me and I swore it was the best one I ever had. I pushed into her one last time and held still until the last few tingles of my release disappeared.
I dropped my forehead to hers and we stayed where we were, trying to catch our breaths. My arm slid out from under her leg and it fell limply down my side. I felt myself pulse inside of her as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her body close.
After a few minutes of staying just like that, I finally recovered the ability to speak.
"I'm really going to like this whole chocolate business you own if this is how we get to spend our evenings."
Claire laughed and looked around. "It looks like a chocolate bomb went off in here."
There was chocolate in both of our hair, I could feel dried chocolate on my face and arms and our shirts were co
mpletely covered. I looked down and saw chocolate hand prints on Claire's thighs and hips and the half of her pants that hung off of her were sopping wet from the chocolate that still dripped off the edge of the counter. We were so busy with our post coital glow and laughing at the mess we made, that we didn't hear the connecting door to Liz's store open.
"SURPRISE!” Several voices yelled as we looked towards the door in shock.
"Oh my fucking God, are you kidding me?" Liz yelled as she cringed and tried not to drop the cake she held in her hands.
"Oh Jesus, my eyes. MY EYES!" Jim screamed as he covered his face with both hands and turned around.
"Are those chocolate boobs?" Drew asked, walking towards us and grabbing a piece off of the counter and popping it into his mouth.
My dick, completely shrunken now, was still in Claire. This was like the damn finger in the vagina day all over again. What the fuck was wrong with my life?
"Sorry I'm late! Claire, were you surprised?" Jenny asked as she pushed her way past Liz and Jim, stopping suddenly when she saw the position we were in. On the counter. With both of our asses showing, covered in chocolate.
"Heh, heh, Claire has boobs and penises stuck to her ass!" Drew laughed.
So that explains the weird bumps I felt on her ass. I was a little worried there for a minute that she might have boils or some creepy skin condition I didn't know about.
"I hope to God you bleach this counter," Liz scolded.
"And my eyes," Jim mutter with his back still to us.
Claire hadn't moved or said a word and I almost wanted to stick my finger under her nose to see if she was still breathing.
"We wanted to surprise you with a "Good luck with the store opening" cake but it looks like you guys started celebrating without us," Jenny laughed. "Drew, why haven't we played with chocolate yet? We need to remedial that."
"Remedy, babe. Remedy," Drew corrected as he grabbed another chocolate boob from the counter a few inches from Claire's ass and ate it.