“And that’s enough to want to be with me? Despite all my faults?”
“More than you know.” She pressed her lips to mine. “As long as I got you, babe, I’m happy.”
And with those words, I knew I’d be a fool to mess this up. I’d do whatever it took to make sure I protected Lexi’s heart by giving her all the love and attention she needed. “So, when your parents ask you what you did this past week, what are you going to tell them?”
“I spent it with you.”
A low laugh escaped and I shook my head. “Am I really worth it?”
“I’m willing to risk everything just to be with you, Raven. Does that answer your question?”
“Completely.” Lexi really was an amazing woman.
Her eyes circled my face and she pressed her lips together. “And what about you?”
I knew that question was coming and it was easy to answer. “Lexi, you are all I’ve ever wanted and more.”
A huge smiled emerged, but quickly vanished. Her eyes darted downward and I could see the same concerns written across her face.
I inclined my head, trying to get her to look at me. “What? You don’t believe me?”
“I want to.” Her eyes lifted. “It’s just…I hate that girls won’t leave you alone.” She grabbed her phone and scrolled through it. Then she turned the phone in my direction, showing me a picture of us playing in the snow. “Can’t they see that I’m with you?”
She had a point. “Maybe I need to make it clear that I’m with you.” I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and tapped the Facebook app. I quickly changed my status, telling all of PHU and the world I was with Lexi.
A notice appeared on her feed, stating I had changed my status to in a relationship with Lexi Thompson.
With her hand, she tried to cover her smile. “You didn’t have to do that.”
Damn, I loved making this woman happy. “I wanted to.” I winked and tossed my phone aside. “And now, I think I need to show you again.” I slid my arms around her waist and pulled her on top of me.
Squealing and laughing, she said, “Hold on, wait a minute.” With her phone in hand, she tried to scroll to something. “I need to change my status, too.” I didn’t let that stop me. I was on a mission to show her she was the only one for me. I pulled her shirt over her head and took the phone from her hand. “You can do that later. Right now, it’s you and me, baby.
***
Later that morning, my mom called to ask if I’d take her to the mall since the roads were clearing. Being locked in with Lexi was awesome, but after a week, we both agreed to get out for a while. On the way to the mall, Lexi’s mom sent a message telling her to go home. I wanted to be selfish and keep her with me until Christmas like we planned, but I didn’t want her to get in trouble.
After promising me everything was okay, we went to a mall about ten minutes from the campus with my mom and brothers, but our shopping adventure came to an abrupt halt when Lexi got another string of texts from her mother.
“Fuuuu—” Lexi withheld the word and I knew it was bad because she never cussed. Glancing away from her phone, she said, “I’m sorry, it’s my mom.” She quickly tapped a message. “She wants me to come home now. She’s freaking out over stupid stuff.”
My mom nodded. “Oh. Raven better take you home.”
“What did she say?” I reached for her phone, dying to know what her mom was telling her. Lexi was quick to drop it in her purse. That action set off a red alert. I just hoped her parents weren’t about to send a search team looking for her.
Lexi turned toward my mom. “I’m sorry. I know you’re right in the middle of Christmas shopping and—”
“Don’t worry about it.” Mom placed her hand on Lexi’s arm, more concerned about Lexi getting home than marking things off her list. “I can finish up later. Besides, we picked out a few things for Raven, Ashton, and Trey. I just need a few more things, which I can buy later.”
“Are you sure?” Her face dropped and her voice squeaked. “I’m so sorry.”
Mom waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t worry about it.”
My mom made her final purchase and we left. Lexi didn’t say much and by the way she chewed on her thumbnail, I knew she was worried about going home. Part of me wanted to hurry up and get her to Dallas, but another part wanted to tell her to just stay with me, to not go home until Christmas. But the last thing I needed was her parents upset with me. I wasn’t sure how I was going to function without her. I was so used to being with her night and day.
I pulled up to my mom’s house and dropped my brothers and mom off.
“Wait just a minute.” Mom motioned for me to stay as I shut the car door. “Delaney stopped by and left something for you.”
“Okay.” I removed my hand from the gearshift. I was certain Delaney left me something that had to do with the picture she took, but I wasn’t one-hundred percent sure I was ready to see them.
My mom returned with a large silver gift bag and I rolled down the window. “Be careful, Raven. The roads are still icy.”
“Don’t worry, Mom. I will.” My mom knew the car was a lease, she just didn’t know all the details behind how I got it. I’d told her not to ask, which she didn’t like.
Mom leaned her head into the car. “Lexi, it’d be nice if you could join us Christmas evening for dinner. My mom and my sisters, along with her family, will be coming in town. I’m sure Raven would like to introduce you to them.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that.” Lexi shot me a quick glance. It made me happy to hear she wanted to meet additional members of my family, and I couldn’t wait to introduce her to them.
“If it’s okay with her parents, I’ll pick her up,” I told my mom.
Lexi smiled. “See you soon.” Mom went inside and we waved bye.
I looked at the bag and then at Lexi. “Should I open it?”
“Yes, I want to know what she bought you.”
I plucked out the purple tissue paper and removed a large black portfolio — just as I had suspected. I took a silent deep breath. I couldn’t run from my past, hide from the present, or deny what I wanted for my future. I untied the purple ribbon binding the thick stack of cardstock boards, ready to accept the story of my life. Delaney had laid a variety of pictures with me in different poses at different stages of my life, all captioned with headings. It was all there. Vivid and realistic. Part of me hated it and the other felt sorry for the person featured.
“Wow. These are awesome,” I sighed. “She really did a great job.”
“Yes, she did.” Lexi glanced over my shoulder as I flipped through each board.
I smiled when I saw a picture of us playing football together. Aside from the partial topless show from the Silicone Triplets, it was one of the best days I’d had with Lexi. I was glad Delaney had captured that moment for us. The black and white photo focused on our faces, revealing the happiness shining brightly in our eyes. “I’m framing this one,” I informed Lexi.
Delaney used several pictures from my childhood she borrowed from my mom along with ones she took. Some were with Lexi and others by myself. Overall, she had seized the good and bad times of my life through the power of pictures. Mixed emotions filtered through me. I didn’t know whether to be happy or mad and rip the boards in half. Glancing at Lexi, she seemed equally tormented with the twists and turns of my life. I hated that she had to see those bad moments, but there was no changing them.
“Will you send her a message and tell her I said thank you?” My voice cracked and I tried to play it off by clearing my throat. I wouldn’t cry over damn pictures.
“Yes, of course.”
I stacked the boards together and placed them in the bag. “She’s an amazing photographer and storyteller.”
Lexi nodded and took the sack from my hands, placing it on the floorboard next to her. “Yes, she really is.”
I drove off slowly, heading toward my apartment. The mood from the past week had dramatically shifted,
neither of us saying anything during the ride. I hated that her parents were still somewhat in control of her life. Based on the things she told me, I now understood her frustrations. I didn’t blame her for trying to take charge of her life; I would’ve done the same.
One by one, we trudged up the steps. I opened the door and the lights from our miniature Star Wars Christmas tree twinkled in the darkness. Knowing Lexi wouldn’t be here made me sad. I had to keep reminding myself it was only a few days until Christmas. I’d see her that night. I could make it.
Lexi reached into one of her bags and took out a small gift wrapped in shiny red paper. She placed it under the tree and then went to my bedroom. I thought about placing the gift I bought her under the tree, but slipped it inside my coat pocket instead. I left the rest of the gifts I’d bought at the mall in the living room and followed her.
“Can I help you?” I hated that my voice sounded thick.
Lexi kept her head tucked as she placed her clothes into one of her bags. “Yes, can you please get my stuff from the bathroom?”
“Sure.” I gathered her shampoo, bath gel, lotion, and hair stuff. Although these things had just made their way into my space a few days ago, I hated to see them gone. It felt like I was removing her from my life, permanently.
“Here you go.” I set her toiletry bag on my bed. After checking it, she zipped it up.
“Thanks.” She continued packing her clothes and shoes when I remembered the lingerie I bought her.
I motioned for her to stop. “Please take the things I bought for you today.” I darted to the living room and returned with the Victoria Secret bags.
She looked at the bags and then at me. “I can leave them here. Unless you don’t want me to come back.”
“Of course I want you to come back.” I pulled her into my arms and held her close. I knew she was feeling and thinking the same thing I was. “I haven’t changed my mind, unless you have.”
“No.” She quickly shook her head. “Just because I have to go home sooner than we planned, doesn’t mean my decision has changed.”
“Good.” I smiled. “That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.”
I could never tire of having Lexi in my arms. She provided a level of comfort that was irreplaceable. I lowered my mouth to hers and her eyes fluttered closed. I put everything into that kiss, as if it was the last time I’d ever taste her lips. My soul connected with hers and it felt like the room spun around us. Nothing in that moment mattered but my sweet Lexi. Honey and peaches filled the air and I inhaled deeply, taking in my fill. The warmth of her mouth and the flicks of her tongue had me ready to toss her on the bed. If it weren’t for the incessant reminder from her phone, I would have.
Our lips parted and she rested her head against my chest. I stroked her hair, running my fingers through her soft waves. I took my time, cherishing this embrace — the beating of her heart, the paced movements of her chest filling with air, the closeness of our bodies. I didn’t want to be away from her.
Lexi’s phone chimed, again, reminding me that my time was up. I kissed her forehead. “Come on, I better get you home before your parents send out a search team.”
A nervous laugh escaped her mouth, putting me on high alert. “I know.” She sniffed and I moved my head back, capturing a better glimpse of her face. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her eyes were red.
“Don’t cry, baby.” I held her tightly and she wrapped herself around me, as if she refused to let go. “I’ll see you in a few days. Or, if you want, I’ll pick you up tomorrow and we can spend the day together.”
“Okay.” Her crying turned into muffled sobs as she nodded. “As long as you promise.”
“I promise, baby. I promise.”
∑
Chapter 28
The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.
~Gilbert K. Chesterton
I drove Lexi to Dallas and we spent the time laughing and talking instead of being sad and quiet. We reflected on our past week and how great it had been. It was what we both needed to get us through the next few days. The freeway wasn’t as bad as I thought, and we made it there without any problems.
We entered the sub-division and my intuition about Lexi’s parents was right on. High roof pitches, which were typical of expensive homes, were glazed with snow and lined up one after another. Stately front doors and massive arched windows were featured on every house. Even the street names reeked of money. I pulled up to her house and although it wasn’t as big as some of the others, it was something my mom could only dream about.
I put the car in park and left the engine running. Lexi turned to me, her eyes big and filled with worry. “Promise me you’ll go straight home?”
“I will.” I wasn’t sure why she was telling me that, unless she thought I was going to Jared’s. “Don’t worry.”
“It’s hard for me not to.” Her voice trembled.
“Well, I don’t want you to.” I took her hand in mine and kissed the top of it, hoping to ease the fears from her mind. I wanted her to trust me, even though I had done things to prove I wasn’t worthy. Her eyes closed and I reached into my pocket, retrieving the burgundy box from the jewelry store. I turned her hand and placed the square in the center of her palm.
She opened her eyes and they widened in surprise. “What’s this?”
“An early Christmas present.” I smiled. “Open it.”
“Raven.” She tried to hold back her smile and the excitement bubbling up inside of her. “You already bought me enough from Victoria’s Secret.”
“I know, but when I saw this today, I just had to get it.” I urged her to open it.
She flipped the lid and her eyes filled with tears. “It’s beautiful.” She carefully removed the dainty chain with a silver dove attached. The facets from the diamond in the bird’s eye sparkled, catching the rays from the setting sun. “Thank you.” She pressed a kiss to my cheek.
“I’m glad you like it.” I helped her put it on. “It’s a dove, you know.”
“Yes, I noticed that. I guess you have a thing for birds.” She raised a brow.
I laughed. “Maybe, but do you know why I chose it?” I clasped the chain around her neck and touched the wings with the tips of my fingers.
“No, why?” Lexi looked into the vanity mirror, admiring it.
“Because doves are pure and innocent. Just like you, Lexi.”
“Raven…” She closed the visor, fighting another round of tears. “You’re going to make me cry.”
“Don’t cry, baby.” I touched both sides of her face and tilted her head, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. Tears seeped from her eyes and gathered along her temples, trickling into her hair. “I’m so grateful to have you in my life.” I’d never stop telling her that. “I just don’t know why you want a guy like me. I’m a raven, tarnished and dark. You’re the exact opposite of me.”
“Look at me, babe.” She lifted my chin, aligning our gazes. “You’re not tarnished and dark. That’s just a name your mom gave you. A pretty cool name, if you ask me. In fact, did you know that ravens mate for life, just like doves, and defend their territory?”
“Really? I didn’t know that.” I wiped the tears from her cheeks.
“Yes, so see,” she sniffed, “a dove and raven go perfectly together.”
Leave it to my smart and beautiful girlfriend to know the intricacies of the bird species. “It’s hard to picture that. All I know is that I can’t be without you, Lexi. You’ve trapped me for good.”
She laughed. “It’s about time, because I got caught in The Raven’s trap a long time ago.” She wrapped her arms around my neck. “And there’s nowhere I’d rather be.”
It was the only place I wanted her to be. I captured her lips once more, savoring the last few moments with her. I slipped my hand behind her neck, positioning her just right. Having full access to her mouth made me hungry for her. A low growl escaped me and she shifted closer to me. Damn, I wanted her. Now.
As I lowered my hand to her breast, a sudden knock pulled me back to reality. I separated my lips from hers and noticed two people standing outside my car.
Shit.
I quickly adjusted myself and wiped the evidence of her from my lips with the back of my hand.
The passenger door opened. “Hey, Mom…Dad, um this is Raven and—”
“Get out now.” Long arms extended inside my car, like alien tentacles, yanking Lexi from her seat.
“Mom!” Lexi screamed as she fell to the ground.
“Lexi!” I reached for her, but her mother slammed the door shut.
What the hell was wrong with these people?
“Take her inside!” Lexi’s mom yelled. Before I knew it, Lexi’s dad was towing her away. I started to get out of the car, but stopped when Lexi’s mom was standing in the way.
I rolled down my window. “Look I’m sorry—”
“I don’t know who the hell you think you are,” she leaned into my car, shaking a finger in my face, “keeping our daughter hostage. You better be glad I didn’t call the cops on you.”
“Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.” I held up my hands in surrender. “Lexi’s a grown woman. She wanted to stay with me. I didn’t force her to do anything.”
The last thing I needed were her parents accusing me of rape or abduction.
“No, you listen here. We know our daughter,” she gave me a once over, “and she would never, ever, be with a guy like you. You’re nothing but a low-life, druggy who won’t amount to shit. You’re not fit to pull the gum off the bottom of my shoe. How can you even stand to look at yourself in the morning, knowing girls only want you for one thing? Lexi’s only caught up in your fantasy. I promise you, she doesn’t care about you like you think. There’s only one guy that could ever meet all her needs and be good enough for her, and I think you know who that is. And I will not stand by and allow you to influence her to your way of life. Oh, no.” She shook her head, her face reddening. “She will not see you anymore. If I—”
A Different Side (University Park #4) Page 35