by Alex Fedyr
Kalei’s arms felt heavy and awkward, but she complied. “So do I have to go back to solitary, or will I be free to roam Downtown?”
Terin kept walking as he said, “You’re free to go wherever you want as soon as we get you back into uniform.”
“What?”
“You’ve been reinstated to Warden.”
Kalei shook her head, not sure if she heard him correctly. She glanced at Walker, and the unwavering seriousness on his face chased away all doubt.
“Who says I want to be?” Kalei took a couple steps after Terin, but then a pounding headache rushed through her skull. She reached out to the nearest wall, leaning against it as she tried to push back the onslaught.
Terin called out, “You can do that in the car.”
Kalei growled through her clenched teeth, pushed off the wall, and marched past Walker on her way out of the alley.
The street was quiet, the old theater across the road sleeping in these morning hours, and the small restaurant to her left was likewise closed, both businesses seemingly recuperating before the next rush of evening traffic came for them. It was just as Kalei had always remembered it, except she had to step under a strip of “Crime Scene” tape, and at each end of the street, an officer stood watch, deterring the sparse passersby. There was also a new silver sedan parked at the curb, which Terin was already climbing into on the opposite side. Although she knew they weren’t looking her way, Kalei was eager to get out of sight before the officers spotted her, so she quickly followed after Terin and climbed into the back seat.
Once inside, Kalei was relieved to be safe behind the heavily tinted windows, but the relief didn’t extend to her body. Feeling heavy, Kalei leaned her head against the window, watching the buildings slide by as the car pulled away from the curb. Within her, she could feel the darkness – her new darkness – pulsing and moving. There was so much now. And every time she looked at it, she saw images that didn’t make any sense.
To no one in particular, she asked, “Why do I have these... memories that aren’t mine?”
She was surprised to hear the driver reply, “The darkness carries within itself not only a complete copy of your biological makeup, but it also retains memories so that when you get hurt, or shot in the head, the darkness can reconstruct you exactly as you were.”
“Erit?” Kalei pulled her head away from the glass and caught a glimpse of his face in the rearview mirror. “Shit, I didn’t recognize you. How are you reaching the pedals?”
Erit stiffly replied, “Don’t worry about that.”
Kalei chuckled as she leaned her head back against the firm, leather seat and said, “Okay, whatever. So you’re saying the darkness keeps all of my memories? Why? What’s the point?”
“Truly, no one can say for sure. But some scholars speculate that the darkness is something of a symbiotic parasite. Its sole purpose is to grow and perpetuate itself, which it can only do by consuming the darkness of another individual. In order to ensure optimal success in this endeavor, the darkness must maintain the health of its host.”
“Okay... I’ll just pretend I understood that.” Kalei shook her head. “So where are these new memories coming from?”
Erit pulled the wheel right, carefully watching the pedestrians standing at the edge of the sidewalk as he made his turn. “When you killed Samantha, you absorbed every shred of her darkness and all that entails: including her memories.”
Kalei looked out the window. Her eyes darted as they traced the trajectory of the passing lampposts. “So I did kill her.” She turned back to Erit. “But how?”
Terin answered, “You pierced her heart.”
“No I didn’t. But if it’s as easy as that—”
Erit interrupted, “What he means to say is, you pierced the heart of her darkness. It isn’t... tangible exactly. No one has been able to establish a physical location for it within the body. It can only be found by venturing your own darkness into another person. And it can only be destroyed with the darkness.”
“Oh.” Kalei returned her attention to the passing scenery. She remembered how it had felt when Samantha’s heart had snapped. She remembered the rush and the dark place it had taken her... She tried not to get carsick.
Well, I think I understand why Erit and Terin wouldn’t teach me this shit in basic.
“What happened to the backpack Josh had with him?”
“What?” Kalei pulled away from the window to look at Terin.
He looked at her with his usual, level stare. No new grandfather there, no touching reunion or reconciliation with the past. Just the same stoic Terin, with the same dumb questions. What the hell did she care about the kid’s backpack?
She looked away and scoffed. “Josh probably dropped it during that incident with his mom. You guys found him, right? Why not ask him?”
Terin’s tone gave away about as much information as his reply. “We can’t.”
She looked back, trying to find the answer in his weary eyes. “Why not?”
Terin met her gaze, but it was Erit who answered, “Well, technically, we could ask him. I mean, we did pick him up. It’s just... it’s complicated.”
“What do you mean? You ask him the question, he answers. How can it be more complicated than that? Is he refusing to cooperate?”
“No, he’s very compliant, but his answers... You girls...” Erit sighed. “Allow me to put it this way. You know what I told you about the darkness being able to contain memories and reconstruct the mind? Well, in rare cases, especially when multiple head injuries are suffered within a short period of time...” Erit trailed off.
A red flag went up in Kalei’s mind. Erit loved to talk about anything and everything. Stopping himself was not something he did. “What’s wrong with Josh?”
Erit navigated another turn in silence. For a second, Kalei thought he wasn’t going to answer. Then he said, “It seems his mind did not fully reconstruct itself ... He can talk in English and walk a straight line, all of that, but...”
Terin interrupted, “Did he tell you what was in the backpack?”
“No. Why? What’s wrong with Josh?”
Josh paced the recovery room, anxiously scratching his head with his right hand while he held his left hand inches away from his mouth, the black thumbnail ready and waiting to be chewed on as needed, which seemed to be every time he paused for breath. “Trojan, bug, no... Always servers, frogs like to jump in the summer, yes, that’s good...”
Kalei walked further into the room and tried to catch his eye. “Hey, Josh. Do you remember me?”
He looked at her and his eyes widened. “Frogs! Frogs are green! Frogs are green! FROGS ARE GREEN!”
Before Kalei could react to his outburst, Josh retreated to the far end of the room, muttering to the wall. Kalei was stunned. She wasn’t sure if it was anger or frustration she saw in his eyes, but she felt hurt and bewildered. She didn’t know if it was directed at her or... in either case, she wanted to say something, but she just... didn’t know what she could say.
Terin turned and left the room, with Walker and Erit following close behind him. Kalei took one more look at Josh’s quivering form, then withdrew as well.
Kalei had a hard time believing that an Estranged could be damaged like that. Josh was mentally shattered by wounds that otherwise were unable to kill him. If I had known this could have happened, I would have put a helmet on him. I would have stopped Jenna, I— The image of Jenna’s skull falling to the cement with a fresh bullet hole on the scalp flashed into Kalei’s mind.
“Wait— where is Jenna! She took a bullet to the head. She didn’t...Jenna...she’s not like that, is she?”
“No,” Terin assured her. “She’s quite all right.”
“Good.” The horror of what she might have done melted away with Terin’s assurance. The final scraps of guilt were promptly eradicated by the recollection of why she had shot her sister. Kalei pushed Jenna from her mind, hoping to never see or think of her again.
/> She returned her attention to the people before her and found Walker already talking to Terin. “...completely useless to us. I don’t know why we even bother keeping him around. He can’t tell us any more about that device than Erit can. Just let him out into the district where he can live out whatever shred of his miserable life he has left.”
Terin replied, “I’m not going to do that. The other inmates would be all over him. He can leave if he wants, but we’re not sending him out.”
Kalei asked, “What did you need him to tell you? You said it has something to do with that backpack he had, right?”
Terin answered, “You already know about it. Josh was working on Franklin’s device. The same one you were going to plug into our computers. Josh had the latest prototype in his backpack. ”
“How do you—”
Terin waved off her question. “Franklin isn’t as smart as he thinks he is.”
“Okay, but what’s the big deal about Franklin getting intel on SWORDE? Sure, there will be a political uproar and all but—”
Erit replied, “We don’t think it is designed to gather intelligence. We don’t know what it is, but—”
“Yes, we do,” Walker cut in. “It’s some sort of digital worm designed to take out the electric fence, the solitary cells, and other key facilities around here.”
Kalei asked, “The fence is run by computers?”
“Yes, that’s how we know when the fence takes damage, or if a section loses power.”
Kalei remembered her foray through the fence with Lecia. “You may want to get that system checked.”
Erit interjected, “We don’t have any evidence to support your theory that it is a worm—”
“We don’t need evidence.” Walker’s hands adamantly emphasized his point as he continued, “We know that it needs to be hand delivered in order to work. Xamic has already proven that he can access our networks remotely. If he wanted dirt to bury SWORDE, he could get all he needed in an instant. The only systems not connected to any external network are the fence and the solitary systems.”
Kalei asked, “But why would Franklin want to take out the fences? He said he just wanted to expose SWORDE. Maybe take it over himself. I don’t see how releasing thousands of Estranged upon the city is going to help him.”
Terin replied, “I don’t think Landen is the one orchestrating this. It’s true, he wants us out of the way, but I think the ‘how’ has fallen to Xamic. Regardless of why he made the decision, I don’t think Landen realizes the danger he’s put us all in.”
“He might now,” Kalei said.
Erit said, “Oh yes, the incident at the mansion. I’m glad you girls made it out. The stories we collected from the turned... let’s just say, you managed to avoid the worst of it.”
Kalei was appalled to think that the incident at the mansion could have become any worse. But if Xamic was capable of so much destruction in just one mansion... Kalei shuddered and said, “That’s the least of Franklin’s problems. Well, he might not have any problems anymore. He’s dead.”
Her companions fell silent. Even Terin looked mildly surprised, his left eyebrow raised ever so slightly higher than his right. Or perhaps it was Kalei’s imagination. She couldn’t be sure. Finally, Walker asked. “What are you talking about?”
“I...” Kalei studied her hands, trying to make sense of these new images, these not-memories that mingled with her own. Her swirls flexed and danced oddly across her nails. She looked back up at Terin and said, “Samantha was there when Landen confronted Xamic about the thing at the mansion...”
She remembered – Samantha remembered – Landen standing behind the desk in his Tusic office, yelling at Xamic, “What the hell do you think you are doing! You destroy my house, you kill my guests, and now I find out you are working behind my back?” Landen reached into a drawer and dropped a thumb drive onto his desk. “What the hell is this, Xamic?”
For once, Xamic wasn’t laughing. He met Landen’s threat with a cool, level stare. He didn’t say anything.
Landen continued, “You are threatening everything we created. We made this city what it is, and now you want to tear it apart?”
Xamic replied, “We? You and Terin made this city, Landen, while I rotted in the ground. I made you, Landen. I made you Estranged, I gave you the tools to establish Tusic, I handed this city to you on a platter. And you repaid me with eighteen years in a six-foot grave, waking up with dirt in my lungs, suffocating, never free to just die, cursed by my own creation to wake up again and again...”
“I had no idea what happened to you. It took me years to find—”
“You didn’t even start looking until your little girl fell through! What if she had lived to be eighty, Landen? Would you have waited that long to dig me up? You and Terin stabbed me in the back, after everything I did for you!”
Xamic was suddenly behind Landen, an arm around his throat in a chokehold. He leaned in and said in a low growl, “I am going to enjoy tearing your empire apart, brick by brick.”
Landen’s eyes grew wide. Then Xamic released him, and the entrepreneur fell to the floor, dead.
Kalei realized Landen hadn’t given Samantha the order to kill her. It had been Xamic.
She looked up at Terin and somehow knew that the message was meant for him. “Xamic killed Landen. He said he is going to dismantle the Tusic Empire.”
Terin’s eyes grew distant. Kalei thought he would say something, but Walker interrupted, “Why would he have it out for Franklin? All of our intel indicates that the two were working together. Why would Xamic choose now to take out Tusic?”
Terin looked away and studied the wall. “This obviously happened several days ago, and no word of Landen’s death has gotten out yet. If Xamic is keeping up the ruse that Landen is still alive, then it means he’s using their resources.” He looked back at the group. “You are not to breathe a word of this to anyone. If word gets out that Landen Franklin was killed by an Estranged, there will be panic in the city. Walker, rewrite the security protocols for all vital systems—”
“What! Do you have any idea—?”
Terin ignored him. “Kalei, go with Erit. He’ll help you sort things out with those memories.”
“I don’t want to sort things out. I—”
“After that, you and Erit will track down any information you can get on Xamic, Tusic, and the device.”
Kalei knew she had no grounds to argue with him. Terin was still giving her what she wanted, even if he did tack on the stupid, tedious task of messing with memories. So she relented. “Fine.”
Erit started to lead her back to their old classroom, but Kalei refused. If she was going to be slotted back into the role of student, she was going to need some air. They went to the roof instead.
Once there, Erit settled himself on top of an old vent and asked, “How many of Samantha’s memories can you access?”
Kalei sat down on a sturdier vent across from him and sighed. “I don’t know. All of them?”
Erit raised an eyebrow. “Can you remember what she had for breakfast yesterday?”
Kalei paused and shuffled through the back of her mind. “No.”
“Then you don’t have all of them. It will take some time, though. Some people never recover all of the latent memories, but don’t be surprised if new memories start showing up from here on out. The trick is to keep them apart from your own.”
Kalei looked out across the rooftops. “Why does that matter?”
“If you hold any value for your sanity, it matters quite a bit. Now, think back. Can you remember where Samantha was last month?”
“I don’t even know where I was last month.” Kalei looked back to Erit. “What month is it now anyway?”
Erit smiled encouragingly. “I’m sure Samantha knew.”
Kalei sighed again. “Really?”
“Yes. See if Samantha recalled what month it is.”
Kalei focused her gaze on a grey, crumbling building across the way.
Then, she retreated from the visible world and focused her attention inward, digging and searching for the answer. It had to be in her head somewhere... but the harder she searched, the more she found nothing. “This is bullshit!”
Erit didn’t waver. “Just keep trying.”
The answer was August. Kalei didn’t figure it out until September. Luckily, Samantha’s death certificate read “August twenty-eighth.”
After her sessions, Kalei usually tracked down Terin. The first time she saw him, she claimed she wanted to know more about Xamic, but she really just wanted to know how her family was doing.
He told her what she wanted to know, that Xamic was an unrepentant frat-boy genius who lived only for the high. Then, without any further prompt from Kalei, he told her that her family was safe. After that, she dropped the act and just asked him every time she saw him. He never gave any details, but he always told her they were safe. After a while, the conversations became a simple glance and a reassuring nod. Kalei could call Terin a lot of things, but she could never call him a liar.
“Grandpa” was the weirdest name to call him. She was still trying to wrap her head around that one.
At first, she was revolted to be related to the man who had killed her parents. But it made sense. The love in his eyes when he saw Mom. The hug. The tears of joy on his face. The sheer horror when he’d realized what he had done. It made sense. And now she knew why he was so adamant about keeping her away from Fenn and the girls. She got it now. And she could respect what he’d been through. She couldn’t forgive him, but she could respect him.
Kalei wondered if Jenna knew, but she didn’t bother to ask. She never saw her sister and she never asked to find out where she was. It was better that way. Kalei didn’t want anything to do with Jenna after what she had done.
When Kalei wasn’t working on her memories, or just sitting around wondering how the hell she ended up here in the first place, she found Erit and helped him track down information. There weren’t many leads. Mostly just addicts who would tell them anything they wanted to hear, and dead end tips called in by concerned civilians. After a while, Erit pushed Kalei to spend more time sorting out Samantha’s memories. The more their leads fell through, the more he became convinced that Samantha could provide key information.