“I’m making a point.”
“A point that will make your husband look like a fool! Oh, that is so much better.”
“Mirabel—,” Thea started, ready to explain herself, but then Neal appeared at the doorway.
He did not look pleased.
“—that was a delicious meal,” Thea heard herself finish lamely. “The quail was quite succulent.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Mirabel responded, her jaw tight. She was truly displeased with Thea. She rose. “I believe the time has come for me to excuse myself. Many happinesses to you both.” She started for the door but paused in front of Neal. “And, Lyon, please be good to my friend. She’s headstrong and foolish but a wonderful woman. She’ll make you a good wife once you find your way past all the armor she wears to protect her emotions.”
Mirabel directed that last comment to Thea, and with those words, she left the room.
Thea didn’t think she’d ever been so insulted. She sat, her gaze in front of her, waiting for Lyon to chime in with his unhappiness with her as well.
He walked into the room, his footsteps barely a sound on the carpet, but she could feel him draw close.
Lyon took the chair next to hers, turning it out so that he could sit seeing her face. He didn’t speak. Not immediately.
Osgood came by the door to check on the room, saw them, and beat a hasty retreat. Neither Thea nor Lyon moved.
She was determined to let him be the first to speak. Perhaps bringing up exorcisms and curses at the table had not been wifely, but Neal needed to hear someone else’s opinion besides her own.
The minutes stretched long between them, and then, finally, she could take it no longer.
“You are too intelligent to let your life be ruled by superstition,” she announced.
He regarded her with a solemn face. Even angry with him, she couldn’t help but marvel at how handsome he was. He had a sensual mouth, a lean, strong jaw. They were so close that she could see the line of his whiskers and smell the scent of sandalwood off his skin.
“I shouldn’t have broached the topic,” Thea said.
He shook his head, gave a small shrug.
“I was worried when you were gone all day.”
“I had to think.”
Here was the conversation she wanted, and yet she was afraid of it as well. “What did you decide? That you must marry me?” She heard bitterness in her voice.
He reached out and ran his fingers along the length of her arm. Where he touched, her skin tightened with expectation. “I thought that you may be right. Perhaps I shouldn’t live my life afraid of a curse.” He raised his gaze to meet hers.
Her heart leaped at his words. “I wasn’t mocking you with my questions of Reverend Wells,” she said. “I would never do that, Neal.” I love you.
“Don’t care deeply for me, Thea,” he said, as if she’d spoken aloud. “Protect yourself.”
“Does that mean you will walk out on me again?” she asked, a knot forming in her throat. “Or is this curse—?”
She stopped, struck by a sudden realization. “Wait,” she said before adding thoughtfully, “the curse no longer matters. Not to me.” She met his eye, her mind so clear that it startled her. “All I want to do is love you.”
There, she’d said it.
A second ago, such a declaration had been impossible to make, and yet here she’d spoken straight from her heart. No armor; just love.
Her words hovered in the air between them. She could picture them, bright and shining and true. A joy, a freedom she’d not known existed, filled her.
“I love you,” she repeated. “I think I’ve always loved you, even when I didn’t realize I loved you. You caution me against feeling deeply for you, but it is too late, Neal. I believe you are the finest man of my acquaintance. While others are wrapped in their petty concerns of status and self-importance, you have tried to do what is right.”
“I’m as petty as the next man.”
She shook her head, almost overcome with this insight, this depth, this honesty of her feelings. “No, you truly are special, and if it is a curse that has caused you to think of your legacy, well, so be it. All I want to do is love you. I want a life with you and with my sons. I am all for building a fortress around us to keep away evil spirits and witches and trolls, whatever threatens us. But the one thing I don’t want to avoid is love. I tried that, Neal. For the last five years of my life, I’ve run from love, but not any longer. I love you.”
“Thea—,” he started as if to defend himself once again, but she stopped his words by placing her fingers over his lips.
“It’s too late for me to protect myself. Can’t you hear the conviction in my voice? I love you, Neal, in a way I could never feel for any other. And it is all right if you wish to pretend you cannot love, but I know differently. No matter how hard you try to put distance between us, I will always be here for you, Neal. I will not turn away and I will not run. I don’t believe in your curse, but I do believe in you. Whatever happens, whatever may come our way, I shall not leave your side.”
“You do not know what you say, Thea.”
“I know exactly what I’m saying, and I speak without fear and without doubt. You can’t protect me from love, Neal, because I already love you. I started loving you all those summers ago. But now we are older. Wiser. And I still love you with that pure innocence and trust I gave you years ago. I didn’t even see it back then, but this afternoon, in this moment, I realized how much you mean to me—and this time, you’d best never leave me. Do you understand, Neal? I go where you go.”
“I don’t deserve you, Thea. In time, you may come to hate this marriage.”
“No, I won’t ever. And don’t fear making me a widow again, Neal. One thing I’ve learned is that we have only the here and now. It is all that matters. The rest is speculation and doubt and fear. But this day, this minute is real.”
She then took his face in both hands and kissed him with all the generosity in her spirit.
Like flame to kindling, he responded, his arms coming around her. What was between them was more than mere sex, and it had been from those days long ago.
He needed her.
She needed him.
Neal suddenly swept her up in his arms. He carried her out the door, up the stairs, and across the threshold of his bedroom.
There, in the privacy of his chambers, they began undressing each other.
The night before, they had been so eager that there had been no time for exploration. Neal made up for it now. He kissed her neck, her shoulder, her collarbone—all the while unlacing her dress and pulling it down over her shoulders.
Roses falling from her hair, Thea tilted her head back with a soft, happy sigh.
She tugged at the waist of his breeches, pulling his shirt out and then sliding her hands under his jacket. She adored the feel of his body. He was all hard planes and muscle. Her fingers danced along his rib cage before she slid his jacket off, letting it fall to the floor. She kissed his neck, nuzzling him and delighting in the texture of his skin and the scrappiness of his whiskers. She tickled him with the tip of her tongue and he laughed, the sound startling her enough to pull back.
“What is it?” he said.
He was so handsome in the evening light. So strong and masculine. “The last time I heard you laugh was years ago.”
“I want to change that, Thea. Riding yesterday, I realized I’ve given up too much of life.”
His confession was music to her ears. “And you came back for me.”
Neal nodded. “I couldn’t stay away from you. Perhaps I should never have left you.”
“We were both too young.”
“Your feelings back then weren’t as strong as mine.”
His tone was light, but his claim gave her pause. His feelings had been deeper
than hers. “Does the past matter, if it leads us to right here?”
His answer was to kiss her. He was already aroused.
So was she.
And they knew the answer.
In fact, Thea didn’t think she’d ever wanted a man the way she wanted this one.
They didn’t waste time with removing the rest of their clothing. Neal had loosened her dress enough that it fell in a heap at her feet. She stood before him in nothing more than her petticoat and stockings. She slipped out of her shoes, kicking them out of the way.
He mimicked her, kicking his off as well. She liked this new lightheartedness around him. This was the way it should be between a couple—not recriminations and nitpicking, the way things had quickly become between her and Boyd. In fact, she didn’t think they’d ever laughed together. Everything had been so troubled right from the start.
She wasn’t going to make that mistake with Neal.
Thea gave him a small push onto his bed’s cream counterpane. He reached for her as he fell, and she landed on top of him. Neal rolled them both over so he was on top.
“Finally,” he murmured. “I have you where I want you.”
His shirt was of the finest lawn and felt smooth against her skin. His hair curled around her fingers. “I pray you never let me go—”
“I won’t.”
She searched his eyes. The shadows were gone. In their place, she saw love. He might have been afraid to use the words, but he loved her. He had always loved her, even before she had thought of loving him.
Thea kissed him, arching her body against his, then slowly relaxed, moving her hips against his. She liked the feeling of his weight upon her. She craved the texture and smell of his skin, the warmth of his body.
They wasted no time removing the last of their clothing. There were few words between them. They were not needed.
Neal raised over her. Thea ran her hands up his strong arms, over his shoulders and down his back as he slid himself deep within her.
Thea gasped at the glory of his body filling hers. She wasn’t the only one caught up in this moment. Neal leaned over her. “This is good. So good.”
She could have agreed—if she’d been able to speak, and then he robbed her of all conscious thought when he began moving.
There was nothing new to the mating of a man and a woman. Thea was no virgin, yet he made her feel as if this was the first time.
Their bodies were meant for each other. Instinctively, she knew what pleased him. He seemed aware of exactly what she wanted. She’d never made love with such intensity, such passion.
Any barriers still left between them were being destroyed through their desire.
Neal’s breathing quickened. His movements took on purpose. She lifted her hips, wanting all of him.
White-hot need had driven their coupling the night before. It now gave way to something deeper, finer. A spiral of sensation began forming inside Thea, winding tighter and tighter until she didn’t think she could breathe, let alone think—
The intensity of her release astonished her. It was as if she’d been moving toward a precipice and, having reached it, let herself hold for one heated beat before falling into bliss. Wave after wondrous wave of completion, of satisfaction, caught her up and wouldn’t let her go.
Neal experienced the same. He cried her name. Her name. Then she experienced his release. She could feel it in the innermost of her being. He filled her in a way she’d not known before. Her body was his vessel, and as they were both caught up, together, in the magic of this moment, she at last realized what it meant to be “one” with another.
One. Together. For always.
Tears came to her eyes. She closed them and held him tight as slowly he let himself lay upon her. Thea hugged him with all of her strength, never wanting to let him go.
It was a long time before either of them could speak. Neal moved first, just as she started to register the cooling of her body.
He rolled over, carrying her with him. Reaching for the counterpane, he flipped it over their bodies. For a long moment, they stared into each other’s eyes. This was what contentment felt like, she realized. In this moment, she wanted nothing but this man.
She pressed a kiss at the corner of his mouth. He smiled beneath her lips. “Are you happy?” she whispered.
“I am.”
His eyes were closed. She decided to kiss them as well. “I am too.”
She snuggled into the crook of his arm and fell asleep, only to be waked a few hours later to him making love to her. And so they spent the rest of the day into the night.
Thea even woke him up the hour before dawn. She still hadn’t had enough of him. She nibbled and teased until he brought her down on top of him.
They fell asleep again, and she’d never known such peacefulness. . . .
She didn’t know she was dreaming. The fire seemed real. Thea could swear she felt the heat of it. Sweat dripped from her body, and the hairs on her head and arms literally sizzled.
And there were mirrors. It was as if she was trapped in a house where every wall was a mirror; instead of one reflection of her melting in the heat, there were dozens. Instead of one fire, she was surrounded by them.
Where were her sons? Where was Lyon?
Were they trapped in this hell with her as well? She had to find them. She rushed in one direction. The flames grew higher, hotter. Her path blocked, she turned in a new direction only to find herself once again trapped.
And then she heard the laughter. Someone knew she was here. Someone had trapped her. She shouted for help. She shook her fist and challenged her captor, afraid she could not last much longer.
The laughter didn’t stop. It continued even as her dress caught on fire, even as the flames climbed her body. The laughter did not stop—
Neal shook Thea awake. She’d been moaning, as if she’d been in great pain. When her eyes opened, they were glassy and full of fear. She didn’t recognize him at first, and then she released a huge sigh.
“It was terrible,” she said.
“What was?” he asked, already fearing her answer.
“My dream.” Thea struggled out of the covers, which her thrashing had tangled around her. She pushed her hair back from her face and frowned, as if still not certain she’d had a dream. “It seemed so real.”
“What was it about?” he said, sitting back against the tufted headboard and pulling her into his arms.
She rested her head on his chest. “I don’t remember.” She tilted her face up to his. “Isn’t that strange? I know it was vivid and frightening, but I don’t remember . . . except for the laughter. Someone was laughing, and it wasn’t a joyful sound. It was more triumphant.” A shiver went through her, and she snuggled against him with a soft sigh. “I’m so glad you are here. I hate bad dreams.”
“I hate them as well,” Neal said, brushing her hair with his lips and keeping his voice calm.
“Your heart is beating fast,” she murmured. She placed a palm upon his chest. “It’s as if you have the fright and not myself.” She pulled his arm around her and fell asleep.
But sleep didn’t overtake Neal. He held her in his arms. In a very short time, she had become the most precious thing to him. He must protect her.
But she’d had the dream.
She’d had the dream.
Chapter Thirteen
Neal and Thea left for London late the afternoon the day after their marriage. Both of them were anxious to see the boys.
“Do you think the boys will be upset that we married?” Neal asked as they neared the city.
“I believe they will be very happy,” Thea said. “It has been a long time since they have had a male figure in their lives.”
“I don’t want them to think I am going to take over their father’s place.”
Thea almost
laughed, but she stifled it.
“What is it?” Neal asked.
“They barely knew their father,” she confessed. She turned to face him. “Boyd and I spent most of our marriage apart.”
“Go on,” Neal said. “I admit I was curious, but I considered your marriage a private matter.”
“Don’t mistake me, Neal, I had strong feelings for him when I married him, or as strong as I could have for anyone at my age.” She shook her head. “I was also very foolish, which many people pointed out to me after I ran away. Boyd was intelligent and handsome and seemed to genuinely care for me. He talked about how this country is divided by those who inherit their wealth and those who must work for it. I agreed with him. After all, I’d done nothing to earn my position in society, and yet I had all of these men from good families wishing to marry me. Boyd made me want to stand on my own. He challenged me to do it.”
“I can’t imagine your father took the match well.”
“I didn’t tell my father anything about it. Any time I ever expressed an opinion that wasn’t his, he practically raised the roof. Besides, he wished to marry me off to a man I could not abide. He was far older than myself.”
“Who was it?” Neal had to ask.
“The marquis of Tweedbury,” Thea answered.
Neal frowned. He knew the marquis. He was not fond of women. However, he would have been an excellent ally for the duke of Duruset. “You are lucky you didn’t marry him.”
“I know. He did marry. An earl’s daughter. She is remarkably unhappy and very indiscreet about her lovers. I would not want that for my life.”
“And was your marriage happy?” It was a question he’d wondered since seeing her again. She’d never criticized Boyd to him, and his interest was more than idle curiosity, although he’d not admit it.
It was a strange life he was living now. He needed to keep up barriers to Thea’s charms, and yet it was harder and harder to do so. His attraction to her was strong, and it wasn’t just lust. He trusted her. He always had. At no time in their acquaintance had she been anything but honest, and it was still the same now. She was a good friend . . . and an entertaining lover. Her passion matched his own.
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