by Nashoda Rose
“I’m going to fuck you, Georgie.” My breath hitched and an intense ache grabbed me and held so tight I shifted uneasily. The drumming of my heart was so violent I thought it might spike out the top of my head.
“I … I don’t understand.” Why was he doing this? Ten years I’d wanted to sleep with him. Ten years and suddenly after I told him bad shit … horrible shit … shit I wasn’t even finished telling him … he wanted to break his word to my brother and sleep with me?
He smiled, but it wasn’t a pleasant smile. It was kind of cruel and all- knowing with lips pursed together and slightly pulled up in the corners. So not Deck. “You don’t understand how to fuck? Or you don’t understand what I said?”
“I don’t understand why you want to.”
“Oh, you will. You’ll understand so fuckin’ clearly it will make your head spin.”
Oh, shit, his voice was low and husky and reminded me of the muffled roar of a souped-up shiny black Mustang. The rough denim of his jeans rubbed across my pelvis and I wanted to rip them off and feel the heated bliss of his skin against mine.
“Never known you to be speechless.” He hadn’t touched me yet—well, if I didn’t count his eyes driving into me. “You want this, Georgie? Because I had the impression you did. This is me.” He leaned in closer, so his lips were next to my ear. “Do what I say and take off your fuckin’ shirt or walk out that door and never come back.”
Jesus. I was so stunned I stood there even when he pushed off the door and stepped away. I knew Deck. He didn’t make idle threats, and I suspected he’d even open the door for me if I refused him.
There wasn’t a chance I’d ever do that.
I grabbed the edges of my shirt, pulled it over my head and let it slip from my fingers to the floor. I heard his intake of breath as he looked at me. His expression remained the same, unwavering and hard, and it made my legs quiver like rubber bands. I leaned back onto the door for support and it pushed my chest out which sparked a smoldering flame in his eyes.
“Bra.”
Why hadn’t he kissed me? Touched me? Why was he making me undress as he stood fully clothed, even wearing his boots? What was this?
“Deck, why—”
His brows rose and I swallowed then reached behind me and grabbed the clasp of my bra. The hooks came undone and the straps slid down my arms as my bra fell forward. His eyes were on mine until I let the bra fall. Goose bumps spread across my skin as his eyes drifted down to my chest and I suddenly felt vulnerable. I didn’t like that, and I went to cross my arms when he grabbed my wrists.
“No.” Deck let me go then nodded to my jogging pants.
I swallowed, bent over and took them off, leaving them on the floor beside me.
He waited.
I stood half-naked against his door while he watched me. It was thrilling as much as it was unsettling. And I was completely turned on and confused that I was turned on by it.
He didn’t need to say anything; he merely looked at my panties.
I didn’t want it like this. I wanted passion, him grabbing me and ripping off all my clothes, not him standing there while I undressed. This wasn’t even remotely like my fantasies. Well, except for the fact I was burning up and aching with so much anticipation for his touch that I was afraid I’d collapse.
“Kiss me, Deck.” I wanted him in my arms, to hold me, hear him groan, feel his hands on me.
“You can’t do what I ask then get out.” Deck turned on his heel and strode down the hall.
Fuck. God, what was I doing? But I found myself running after him and saying, “Okay. Okay, I’ll do it.”
He was already at his bedroom door and I sighed as my words stopped him and he turned. My skin was on fire and it wasn’t from embarrassment as his eyes roamed over my body as if he was contemplating whether I was worthy of him.
When he leaned back against the doorframe and crossed his arms, I knew exactly what he was waiting for. I slipped my fingers into the bikini straps of my white panties and slowly dragged them down then stepped out of them. I lifted my head and stood up straight, cocking my hip as I put one hand on it.
I waited. There wasn’t anything else I could do because I wanted Deck. It needed to be him. I’d waited ten years for it to be him, so I’d stand and wait for the next ten years if Deck had his eyes on me like he did at this moment.
His arms uncrossed. “Perfect.”
My insides went haywire as he strode toward me. Could a body be set into flames from a mere look? Yes. Hell yes, we were talking about Deck here.
He stopped a foot away and I was screaming for him to come closer. I wanted to beg. Jesus, did I just say that? All my internal thoughts were screwed up and I had no idea what I was thinking except the beacon of ‘kiss me’ flashing relentlessly.
“Look at me.”
I thought I was, but I was staring at his tatted chest, willing it to come closer. The smartass in me wanted to defy him after all the orders he gave me. However, the desire was too overpowering, and I knew if I gave him any smartass he’d turn and leave without a single backward glance. I wouldn’t risk it.
I met his eyes and the dark steadiness I always saw was lit with a smoldering flame. Okay, I could get some power back here. I opened my mouth. His brows lowered and I quickly slammed it shut. Maybe not.
“If this happens, there’s no going back.” The creak in the floorboards sounded and a shiver raced through me.
What did he mean ‘no going back’? “What exactly does that entail?”
His lips pulled down in the corners, and I knew he was a little pissed off. Add the sudden tension in his shoulders with it and he was angry. Okay, what the hell?
“It entails everything.” He stepped closer and when his hands curled around my upper arms, the ache between my legs became unbearable. “You ready for that?”
I decided I wanted to be brave because I was feeling insecure and needed some of it back. “Kiss me and I’ll let you know.”
There was a twitch at the corner of his mouth and his fingers slid down my arms in a slow glide, the roughness against my smooth skin like silk and sandpaper. They moved up again and tightened. I couldn’t read him, damn it. Deck was a complexity I hadn’t figured out and probably never would.
His one hand caressed up to my shoulder and then to the curve of my neck until his fingers cupped the back of my neck. I lost my balance as I swayed into him, each molecule drawn toward him.
With one swift pull, he dragged me into him and then his head tilted and my lips met his. It was hard and soft and holy shit, it was alarmingly better than the kiss in the shower. His tongue slid across my teeth and then pushed past, entering the warmth. His arm went behind me, preventing any escape, although I didn’t even consider escaping.
My hands found their way around him and I caressed up his back until my fingers gripped his neck. It was cathartic as I felt the vibration of his groan and the sensation zapped my skin, sinking between my legs. His kiss deepened, if that was possible. He pulled my hair and I had no choice but to tilt my head back.
His kiss was an invasion. I got what he meant by ‘no going back’. He asked me if I was sure because Deck was taking and I had to give or be taken. The thought turned me on more and I kissed him hungrily as if starved for him.
I had been starved for him.
Ten years. Ten friggin’ years this man had been in my head trampling me and now I was tasting him, feeling him. I knew Deck didn’t do half-ass; it was all or nothing.
He groaned then pulled away. I tried to tug him back, but he wouldn’t let me and instead, I ran my hands down his solid back to his jeans and then down further to cup his ass.
Deck was eight years older than me, and I may have been inexperienced when it came to the actual sex part, but I’d done other things with guys and I knew what they liked.
His eyes drove into me as he tightened his grip in my hair. “Everything.”
I had no response because I didn’t know what he meant, but
I’d do or say anything he asked. I wanted him to be lying on top of me and sinking inside me before I melted. “Baby, I need you.”
“I like it when you call me that.”
I bit my lip. “I know.”
He gave a curt nod and walked me backward until I felt the bed behind me and I fell, bouncing onto the mattress. I winced when my back hit the bed.
He saw it. “The cuts?”
I nodded. “But they’re fine.”
He watched me for a second as if assessing my words. “I won’t be gentle.”
I didn’t think he would be. “I know.”
Then he said, “Your sass stays out of the bedroom tonight.”
I got up on my elbows, which made my breasts stick out, and I noticed his eyes widen. The reaction was quickly covered up again with his steady resolve. I knew Deck had some real emotional scars, and I wondered even in the heat of passion if he’d let them go. If maybe I’d see a hint of the unshielded Deck.
Holy shit, this was happening. I licked my upper lip as he took off his shirt and my eyes took in the deep valleys and hills of his naked chest and abdomen. There was a hint of a trail of hair that led down to … his fingers popped open his jeans button. The zipper slid down and with the sound came a wave of sparks hitting my lower belly.
I was going to see Deck naked. Damn, fantasy comes true. I needed oxygen fast. I watched him pull down the denim and then step out of them.
Muscular thighs, a scattering of dark hair, the taut calves, which had that distinct, flexed whatever it was called in the back of his legs. Legs I needed around me—tight. But more than that, I quivered as my eyes hit the hard swelling pushing against the black material of his boxer briefs. There was no hesitation as he pulled those off, too, and his cock sprang free. For a second, I thought of scrambling off the bed. How the hell did something like that fit inside a girl?
“Open your legs, Georgie.”
His voice cut through my thoughts of his cock pushing into me and I stared up at him, gaping. “Huh?”
There was no uncertainty in him as he stood tall, confident and completely naked in front of me. I shouldn’t have thought any differently. I mean, Deck was the team leader of an elite force of men who were just as dangerous as he was. Shit, he took out bad men—real bad men who had real bad friends, and yet Deck never looked emotionally exposed for a second.
His stance widened and he watched me, waiting for a response. A response … Right, legs. Open legs. He knelt on one knee between my legs on the bed. His body followed and I closed my eyes with complete and utter relief as his weight finally came on top of me. It was liberating. It was truth. It was real and for a moment, I forgot who I’d become over the years and became the innocent girl who fell in love with a man she thought she could never have.
His hands immediately took mine, placed them above my head and locked them. It was a power position, and I think I always knew this was how it would be with Deck. He’d never yield to another and that included during sex.
Then he kissed me and my legs wrapped around his hips. His one hand kept my arms locked above my head while his other stroked down my side until he was grabbing my thigh, hitching it higher on his waist. The strain on my muscles made them quiver and shake.
Deck didn’t let up as his mouth took mine, tongue invading, and I opened to him. It was complete surrender and it was … rescuing. I let go and gave him all I refused to give to anyone else.
“Jesus.” The drum of his voice broke through my haze of desire and I sighed under his mouth. “That’s it. Give in to me.” He trailed kisses down my neck to between my breasts and squeezed my thigh. “Leave it there.” He moved his hand and cupped my breast, his thumb rolling over my nipple.
“Oh, God,” I moaned, every part of me shaking and aching and coursing with the tantalizing heat of Deck. He pinched my nipple—hard. I arched, eyes closing. It hurt like hell but then … then the heat of his mouth soothed the pain and I moaned. His teeth tugged then bit and I gasped.
“Let go.” He drew the sensitive nub into his mouth and suckled.
“Deck.” I didn’t know why I was saying his name out loud. Maybe because I needed to hear my own voice to know this was real. “Please. Fuck me.” The throbbing between my legs had me pushing upward into him, wanting more.
“Never thought I’d hear those words from your lips, Georgie.” Deck moved to my other breast and gave it the same treatment and I swear I was panting like a friggin’ dog by the time he was done.
“I’ve always loved you.” His head snapped up at my words and there was a tightening of his lips as his brow furrowed.
“Georgie.” His voice was hard and unrelenting, and I was uncertain what he meant by saying my name like that. But I soon didn’t care because his hand cupped between my legs and his finger slid into the wetness. “Fuck,” he groaned then slipped two fingers inside me, firm and deep.
The sudden intrusion was uncomfortable. I had a vibrator but I never put it inside me. This was two fingers, and I was uncertain how anything bigger, like his cock, was going to fit without tearing me apart.
He froze. It was every muscle tensing, sniper mode. Even his fingers inside me remained still. He let go of my wrists and grabbed my chin. “You a virgin, Georgie?”
“Well, if you mean have I ever had a cock inside me—no.”
His eyes narrowed, jaw pulsed and he looked intense. He tightened his grip on my chin. “Why?”
Because I had been a girl with a crush that got out of hand. I’d tried to have sex, but I always stopped before it got too far. It never felt right.
He pushed his finger in me a little further. “This,” he said. “You were going to give it to Lionel?”
I shrugged. That had been the idea that night, along with my assignment. I had some explaining to do about Lionel, but with his fingers inside me, I wasn’t saying shit.
“Georgie,” he warned.
I was losing the ache and it was being replaced with pissy. “Seriously, Deck. You’re bringing this up now with your fingers inside me and your cock hard against my thigh.”
“Were you?” He kept his voice calm although it was laced with anger. I knew Deck well enough to know this was really pissing him off. “I’m putting my cock in you no matter what, but I want to hear it from you.”
“God, do you have to take every ounce of pride away from me?”
“It’s not pride I’m taking, Georgie. It’s every fuckin’ thing. Told you that. We don’t go back from here. The bullshit you’ve been throwing around ends. The lies,” he paused and I flinched under him, “now I get to stop it.”
“Stop what?”
He ignored me. “Were you?”
His fingers curled slightly inside me and I clenched around him. His brows lowered and he scowled. “Fine. Yes. I thought about it, but I couldn’t go through with it. I wanted it to be you. It had to be you. I knew since the day I came home from school and you gave me that bowl of ice cream. You scared the crap out of me, but that moment … I saw something in you. It was so clear to me, the sweetness lingering in your eyes, the concern and yeah, the anger was there, but it was all for me.”
Deck let go of my chin, his mouth slamming down on mine and our lips came together in a welding of heat. His thumb circled my clit and I moaned as the ache turned to an intense throb and I tightened around him.
His weight grew heavier still and his hand roamed across my skin, touching every part of me as he kissed me. I bit his lip and he growled, the pressure of his thumb stopping. I arched into him, shifting to the side, trying to get him to rub me again.
He pulled back and I was suddenly cold as his body left me and slipped off the bed. He picked up his jeans, reached into a pocket and pulled out a square package. He ripped it open and I watched as he slid the condom on.
Our eyes met. “You trust me?” he asked.
He was the only person I did trust.
“I need to hear you say it.”
Goddamn, Deck. “Yeah.
I trust you.”
He gave a curt nod and then he lifted me up, placing me further up on the bed. His heat covered me again and I instinctively wrapped my legs around him while he teased me with the tip of his cock before he rubbed it against my opening. Then he flexed his hips forward and he slipped inside.
His eyes never left me as he edged in further. I closed my eyes at the unfamiliar intrusion.
“Relax.” It was an order and I wanted to smack him, but instead, I did exactly like he wanted and my thigh muscles loosened.
He pushed further in and I moaned at the discomfort and the pleasure. His fingers began playing with me again and the tension in my belly started to build. Soon, it was me arching and pushing him in further.
I’d gotten myself off numerous, okay, thousands of times, but having Deck inside me and the pressure, the pulsating—it was completely different. Overpowering. Jesus, Deck was overpowering.
He lowered his mouth over mine and I sighed, loving the harsh assault. Then his hips shot forward and my cry vibrated into his mouth.
Holy hell, it was like a knife just ripped through me. I tried to get away. I wanted him out of me; it was uncomfortable and hurt and I didn’t like it.
But Deck remained still on top of me and kissed me. Then when I stopped fighting, he trailed kisses over my face. “That’s it. Breathe.” He caressed my hair and it was the sweetest gesture I ever had from Deck. I leaned into him and closed my eyes, letting my body adjust to the thickness of his cock deep inside.
“You good?”
I still throbbed but it wasn’t as bad now and when his finger started playing with me again, the pain and discomfort was replaced with pulsating and building. I tilted my pelvis and he got the hint, moving slowly and steadily inside me.
“Baby,” I moaned as he slipped in and out, wetness clinging to him.
He lifted up on his hands on either side of me and then pulled out further and pushed hard in again. I groaned as a wave of need catapulted into me; it was like a mini-orgasm.
He did it again and the sensation of his rough thrust into my velvet softness had me meeting his movements so our bodies slapped into one another.