by Rebecca Shea
"I hope it's not too late," I muster as I step over the threshold and into the main living area. An instant hominess overtakes me. Large plush couches are positioned facing each other, each of them piled high with pillows, blankets draping each arm. A large wall houses a library full of books and picture frames highlighting her interests. Everything is neat and clean, yet simple and livable—it seems so, perfectly Kate.
"It's not too late." She shuts the door behind us. "I apologize for not being home sooner, work has been—"
"Crazy. For me, too," I cut her off. "Don't apologize. I just have a couple of questions for you before I sign the lease." I hold up the small stack of papers that comprise the rental agreement. I've never seen something so thorough and detailed.
"Sure." She moves closer to me, putting herself mere inches away. My heart races as she closes the distance, and her scent surrounds me. Our shoulders brush as I thumb through the document looking for the page I have questions on. I can smell the lightest hints of floral perfume that lingers on her skin, and I want to rub my nose and lips down the curve of her neck.
"Here." I find it and set it on top of the stack. "The agreement doesn't specifically state anything about an alarm." I look up at her. "Obviously, working with Nick, you would know that, at times, I have sensitive information with me, along with several firearms. I'd like to have an alarm system installed, at my expense, and will leave it here when I eventually vacate the premises."
She looks up at me quickly, her eyes narrowing in confusion.
Hastily, I add, "I'm fulfilling the full terms of the lease, I just mean I won't have the system removed once I eventually leave."
She nods her head and smiles. "I have no problem with that. Let me redraft that section and get you a new copy to sign." Now I look at her like she's crazy, and she smiles politely at me. "Sorry. It's the lawyer in me. Everything in writing is my motto…makes it legally binding."
I nod at her. "Understood."
"Is there anything else you wanted me to amend?" She reaches for the current lease, pulling it gently from my hand, and then she folds it before tearing it in half and walking over to her laptop that’s sitting on an end table.
I shake my head. "No, that should be it."
"Great. Give me just a minute and I'll get you a new copy." She pulls a pair of glasses off the table, sliding them onto her face before she begins clicking away at the keyboard. It's impossible not to notice how beautiful she is. Her eyes squint just a little, and her lips purse as she concentrates on the task in front of her. The strands of long hair hanging down over her shoulders, resting just atop her perfectly round breasts.
"There's beer in the fridge if you want one while you wait," she says, her fingers gliding across the computer. "Or wine. There's an open bottle on the island. Glasses are in the cabinet above the fridge."
I don't hesitate at Kate's offer, pulling open the fridge door and finding a shelf half-full of beer. I pull a Stella out of the fridge when I notice all the takeout boxes, which look oddly familiar, like my refrigerator back in Phoenix before I cleaned it out prior to my move here.
"Bottle opener is in the drawer to the left of the fridge," she hollers as if she's reading my mind.
"Thanks," I answer, finding the bottle opener right on top of the contents in the drawer. Opening the beer, I lean against the counter as I continue watching her type away. The muscles in her long arms flex as she types, accentuating her feminine figure. Lean, but soft.
The taste of ice-cold beer rolling over my tongue and down my throat makes for a great end to this workday. The sight of Kate in a tank top, looking casual, yet still stunning makes me smile. She affects me, there's no denying it.
She turns around slowly and finds me watching her. Her head tilts just ever so slightly to the side. "You're staring at me," she says quietly.
"Not staring. Watching." I don't try to hide that I'm watching her…that she turns me on.
She nods slowly, and her eyes drop to the beer in my hand. "Care to join me on the patio? I'd love to hear more about what brought you to Los Angeles."
I inhale sharply, not really wanting to share why I'm here, but I also have no intention of saying no to Kate. She stands up and reaches for the glass of wine she left on the sofa table.
"Come on." She smiles and walks past me, our shoulders brushing as she moves to the French doors that open to the back patio. I follow her outside and she sits down in an oversized patio chair with thick cushions and big pillows. I take the seat next to her while she curls her feet up under her long legs and spins her wine glass in her hand.
"I swear, this patio is my favorite part of this house," she says, tipping her head back and looking up into the sky. Small landscape lights shine on the shrubs and trees lining the perimeter of the yard, but it's not enough light to detract from the bright stars.
"I can see why," I remark. "I had no idea the foothills are literally in your backyard."
She laughs. "It's a blessing and a curse. They're gorgeous, but we get lots of wildlife. Rabbits that eat my plants, and even the occasional coyote looking for food makes his way over the fence and into the backyard. And I've yet to see one, but my neighbor told me he had a snake." Her eyes grow wide with fear at the idea. "I'd die. I honest to God would die if there was a snake in my backyard." She visibly shudders when she says that. "So I pretend they don't exist."
I actually laugh out loud. "It's amazing what we can do when we imagine things don't exist," I respond, those words searing a fresh wound on the scar I thought had finally healed.
Her eyes study me for a moment. "So what brings you to Southern California, anyway?"
I hesitate before answering her because I'm not sure how much I want to tell her. She's a stranger, my landlord, and also my boss's sister. I keep my guard up, but answer her as honestly as possible. "Just needed a change. An opportunity presented itself, and I jumped on it."
"Why did you need a change?" She presses the rim of her wine glass to her lips, tipping it back ever so slightly for a drink. Her pink lips part as the liquid hits her tongue, and I shift in my seat. Her eyes study me closely as I observe her in return, her head tilting to the side as she waits for me to respond.
Swallowing hard, I look away, out across the expanse of the backyard, beyond the grass line to the rolling foothills that are pitch black under the dark sky.
"I sense I struck a nerve," she says cautiously.
I shake my head and turn back to her. "Nah. I've just never really talked about it with anyone other than the psychologist the department made me see."
Her eyes widen and she shifts uncomfortably in her seat. I run my hand over my face and sigh loudly. Maybe it'll do me good to tell this story to someone else. Only this ‘someone else’ I find myself strongly attracted to, and I'm not sure I want her to know the fucked up details of my life.
"Are you okay?" she asks apprehensively, her eyes full of concern.
"I think so," I answer honestly.
"You think so?"
I chuckle. "I'm fine, I promise. It's been a crazy year and a half."
She nods in response, picking up on my hesitation to say more. "You don't have to—" she starts, but I interrupt her. I don't want her to think I'm a sociopath or that she's in any danger.
"No. It's fine." I smile at her. "Just nerves."
She takes another sip of wine.
I take a long breath in and exhale loudly before I begin. "About a year and a half ago, I was in the middle of a huge investigation," I catch her setting her wine glass down out of the corner of my eye as I focus on the large Ficus tree way out at the end of the yard. "I'd been working on this case for years, trying to bring down a mid-sized cartel."
She listens quietly, her full attention on me.
"I ended up falling in love with the girlfriend of one of the main suspects—who also happens to be my biological brother."
I hear her inhale sharply, but she doesn't move a muscle waiting for me to continue. The m
emory stings, and as I continue I try to keep my voice steady and my emotions at bay.
"We took down the cartel, in the process killing my father and his right-hand man. My brother took a plea deal—and the girl,” I add, trying not to sound bitter. “And I got shot up in my driveway and almost died. To say that I didn't expect it to go down quite like that would be an understatement."
"Jesus," she mumbles.
We sit quietly for a few moments before she asks softly, "Your brother…do you have a relationship with him?"
That’s a good question. "I don't know how to answer that," I admit honestly.
She shifts in her chair again, gripping a pillow to her stomach. "I mean, how does one of you end up in a cartel and the other on the side of the law?"
"Now that's a long story," I chuckle. "The condensed version is my father's cartel is what ended up killing my mother. She was murdered when Alex and I were young. My dad took Alex and groomed him for the business. My aunt and uncle adopted me, and I was raised by them. On one hand, I was so jealous of Alex and my father's love for him, but on the other hand, I was truly the lucky one." There is so much more to this story, but I'm not ready to reveal every fucked up detail of my past.
She nods in agreement, shock written across her face.
"It was that anger that drove me into the ATF, and I made it my mission to bring down my father and his business."
"Tell me about….her," Kate says quietly.
I turn my head and look at her; her questions are personal, yet she's not pushy. She's inquisitive, and I can tell that the meaning behind them isn't malicious.
"She was a witness. I had my eye on her because she was the daughter of a judge that was involved in my father's case. Alex stumbled across her, and I assumed he knew who she was. I thought she was in danger, so I moved in." There's still a slight ache in my chest when I think about Emilia, although with each day the ache fades more and more. "In the process, I fell in love with her. Fast. She was young, naïve, and there was something so innocent about her. I was worried Alex was going to hurt her or pull her into his world—" My voice cuts out as emotions bubble to the surface.
"But he didn't?"
"Didn't pull her into his world?" I shake my head. "Not really. He was on his way out. But she was definitely in danger for a while."
"And they're still together?" Her eyes search mine, desperate for answers.
I press my beer bottle to my lips and pour the beer down my throat, letting the sting replace thoughts of Emilia. "Married with a daughter. Live on the coast in Oregon."
"Do you still love her?"
That question feels like a punch in the gut, not because of the question, but because I've never allowed myself to answer it. "I thought I did," I admit. "But the more I talked about her to my therapist, the more I believe I was in love with the idea of her. Someone innocent. Someone who needed me. Someone who I felt I could steal away from my brother." The idea of Emilia doesn't hurt me like it should when you love someone.
Kate's eyes narrow on me in confusion. "Soooo…"
"The answer is no,” I fill in. “I don't think I ever loved her. I'm not going to lie and say it didn't hurt when she chose Alex over me, but I don't think I ever really loved her in the way you're supposed to love a person. I loved that I could 'win' her over, I loved that Alex might be hurt if she chose me."
She just sits quietly, not saying anything.
"Pretty fucked up, huh?" I chuckle darkly. "I promise I'm not some nut case that just rented your house.”
She shakes her head and laughs. "I don't judge. It sounds to me like your therapy has helped you see what it is you need versus what you thought you wanted, and I'm so happy you've recovered from your injury and you’re able to return to work. So many agents aren't as lucky as you." There's a spark of sadness in her eyes. A look that only the friends and family of those in law enforcement get when they think of those who aren't as fortunate as I am.
I nod in agreement. "Which is why I was excited to take this opportunity here in L.A. with your brother. He's giving me another chance to prove myself. California is a fresh start for me." I smile at her and she smiles in return, and it’s soft, caring, and does things to me that I’m not sure I’m ready for.
"So what do you do?" I ask, turning the questions on her. I'm done spilling my garbage. I want to hear about her.
She drops her eyes from mine and takes another drink of wine before resting it on her thigh. "I'm an attorney. I do corporate law, mostly negotiating and reviewing contracts. It's extremely boring to someone who's not interested in legalese, but it keeps me busy and pays well." She shrugs.
"Do you ever end up in court?"
"No. Ironically, if there is ever litigation, we typically hire outside counsel. Sounds weird, doesn't it?" She scrunches her nose up and smiles.
"Not really." I shake my head. "I get why. You're an expert at what you do. The attorneys you hire are experts in litigation. Everyone does what they do best."
"Exactly."
Our conversation slows, but it's not uncomfortable in the silence. We both relax in the quiet and just 'be'. There's something to be said for that level of comfort when you're in the presence of someone else.
"So, when do you think you'll be moving in?" she asks.
"I'm having some stuff delivered this weekend, so I hope Saturday is okay?" I raise my eyebrow at her, hoping it's not an inconvenience.
She smiles. “Saturday is perfect.”
"I'm still waiting on a truck from Phoenix, so that'll be sometime next week, but I'm ready to get out of that hotel. Speaking of that hotel, I really should get going. It's getting late, and I didn't mean to keep you up." I stand up and she follows suit. We both carry our empty glass and beer bottle to the kitchen, and Kate swipes something off the center island.
"This is the key for the house." She dangles the ring on her pointer finger. "You can have your alarm system installed anytime. If you need anything secured before then, I have a safe and an alarm on this house. You're welcome to keep anything in here."
"I appreciate that." The soft tips of her fingers brush against my palm as she places the key in my hand.
"See you Saturday," she says, her voice barely above a whisper.
"See you Saturday," I return. For the first time in a long time, I have something to look forward to.
Chapter Four
Kate
"Katie," Nick's voice booms through the Bluetooth speakers in my car.
"What's up?" I ask, curious. My brother rarely calls me, especially at seven-thirty in the morning.
"I just wanted to see if you were really okay with letting Sam rent your guesthouse. I feel like maybe I jumped the gun and should’ve let you two speak before I just brought him over." He sounds stressed, and my gut tells me this call has nothing to do with Sam and my guesthouse.
I laugh and merge into traffic as I head into the office. "It's fine. I'm actually really glad you suggested him. It sounds like we're both busy, professional, and it worked out perfectly—I'm actually happy with the situation. He's moving in this Saturday."
"Whew," I hear him say and breathe into the phone. "I was feeling guilty. I rarely see you and here I am pushing my newest coworker on you."
"It's all good." Tired of beating around the bush, I finally ask, "So why'd you really call?"
"How'd you know?" he asks quietly, and I hear him shuffling papers around.
"Because I know you better than you know yourself," I respond, "and I can hear the strain in your voice. What’s up?"
There's a long pause before he begins. "Nicole is pregnant again," he says quietly, his voice strained. Nick and Nicole, my brother and his wife. College sweethearts. The couple everyone wants to be. Parents of two of the cutest little boys in the world are having another baby.
"What! That's great news!" I'm genuinely excited for him, but I could hear the trepidation in his voice. "Why are you not excited, Nick?"
"Is it bad that I'm not ex
cited?" I feel like I can hear him cringe.
"Yes," I answer bluntly. "Look, I know you said you were done after Joey and Jack, but a third baby isn't the end of the world. The boys are going to kindergarten next year, and this’ll give Nicole something to do for the next five years," I laugh.
He mumbles something under his breath, and then says, "She was going to go back to work. She's really having a tough time coming to terms with this, which is making me have a tough time, too," he admits honestly.
"Want me to come by after work tonight? Talk to her?"
"Would you?" I can hear the desperation in his voice.
"I'd love to. I'll try to be there by seven."
"You're the best, Katie."
"I know, Nicky," I say warmly.
"Don't call me that," he says flatly. I laugh out loud. I love my brother and love to give him a hard time. "Love you."
"Love you, too. See you tonight."
* * *
I'm late, as usual. Work got busy, contracts needed to be reviewed and sent to attorneys overseas before I left for the day, and I'm always an hour late, if not more for everything. I drive as fast as I can in Southern California traffic to get to Nick and Nicole's before the boys go to bed.
I barely make it there as both boys are freshly bathed and bundled in their pajamas, waiting for me at the door.
"JJ!" I yell as both little monkeys jump into my arms. "How are my favorite boys?" Joey clings to me, his arms practically strangling me. "Easy there." I tug on his arm.
"Mom says we can't stay up," Jack pouts.
"Well, your mom is right." I tap Jack's nose with the tip of my finger. "It's late, and you two need to sleep. You have a big day at preschool tomorrow."
"All we do is play," Joey says, sliding off my knee.
"Well, playing takes a lot of energy, and you get that energy from sleep."
They both moan at my response. I giggle and take each of them by the hand. We head toward the kitchen where I assume Nick and Nicole are because I smell delicious food coming from that direction. My stomach growls in response.