by Rebecca Shea
Kate turns her head to look at me and presses a sweet kiss to the side of my mouth. I run my fingers through her hair and, for a brief moment, I realize that this is what peace feels like. It's calm and happiness. It's comfortable and understated. It's sitting on an outdoor couch with the woman you're falling for, under the stars, and not wanting to be anywhere else in the world or with anyone else. That feeling that everything you simply need is right here in this very moment of time—that's peace.
Kate pushes herself up and leans in. "Will you take me home now?" Her eyes are sleepy, yet there's an underlying hunger in them. A hunger I want to explore—but I'm worried about her health.
"I never thought you'd ask." I wink at her, and she smiles, folding the blanket she was using while we both say our goodbyes to Adam and his friends, as well as Melissa, for the most enjoyable evening. It was nice to sit and talk and laugh and eat, but it was more important for me to meet Adam, and I'm so grateful she has a good friend in him. I like him and have put all of my hesitations about him and Kate aside.
Adam and Melissa walk us out to the car. Adam shakes my hand firmly, thanking us for coming, and he offers Kate a brief hug. Melissa and Kate whisper and giggle, and when Melissa's eyes keep shifting to me, I know I am their topic of conversation.
"Wine makes you two so fucking obvious!" Adam says, hooking his arm in Melissa's as he tries to drag her away. "Stop ogling the man, Melissa," Adam says with a headshake. Melissa and Kate laugh.
"Wine is my best friend!" Kate hollers back at him as both ladies continue to laugh. Adam finally drags Melissa back into the house, and I open the car door for Kate. She slides into the front seat like she's always belonged there. She smiles at me through the windshield as I make my way around the car and into the driver's seat.
Before I can start the car, Kate leans over the center console to kiss me. Pressing her soft lips to mine, she slips her palm over my dick, causing it to harden. Fuck, she could breathe on me and turn me on.
"Kate," I mumble against her lips.
"Sam," she sighs between kisses as she crawls over the console and straddles me. She reaches down between the seat and the door, finding the switch, and suddenly the seat begins to move backward. The street is dark and thank god it's a quiet street with no traffic.
My hands instinctively slide up her dress, brushing the sides of her thighs before palming her ass.
"No panties!" I hiss as my fingers glide across her smooth ass. She giggles against my lips and grinds her hips against mine. "Kate!" I warn her, and she grinds harder. "We're taking it slow tonight," I tell her. I'm still worried about her headache episode from a couple of nights ago, and I don't have as many answers as I do questions as she's not willingly divulging information that I keep requesting.
"I hate slow," she breathes in my ear as she kisses my neck.
"Kate!" I growl at her again.
"Fine, if you insist," she pouts, sliding off my lap and back into her seat. I immediately hate the absence of her body on mine but I'm worried about her.
I readjust my seat and start the car. As we drive home, Kate settles comfortably into her seat, and I can't help but smile. "Can I ask you something?" I glance at her and she smiles.
"Always."
"Are we moving too fast? Because if we are—"
She cuts me off. "Is this because of the other night?" She sits up straighter and adjusts her dress to cover more of her legs.
"No. This has nothing to do with the other night. I just want to make sure you're comfortable with the pace we're handling this."
"This?" She raises her eyebrows.
"Yes, this," I respond.
"What is this?" she asks, turning her body and full attention toward me.
I take a deep breath. "What do you want it to be?" I turn my attention back and forth between the road and Kate.
She shrugs slightly. "What do you want it to be?" She’s avoiding my question.
"Right now, I want it to be what it is." I can see she's disappointed in my answer, but I continue anyway. "What we have is perfect." I turn and smile at her. "We may have started out a little unconventional, a little faster than I normally would, but, Kate, when you have the connection that you and I have, sometimes you have to throw out the rules and just roll with what's happening."
I see her swallow hard before the corners of her lips turn up into a full smile. "I love that answer," she says. "So let's roll with it, okay?"
I nod and smile. "Let's roll with it."
Chapter Thirteen
Kate
"I knew this was going to happen!" Nick barks at me through the other end of the phone. I pinch my eyes closed and hold my breath as he scoffs at me. "So what happens when this one doesn't work out, Kate!" he bites. "Because I shouldn't have to choose between my sister and my best goddamn employee."
I roll my eyes at my brother, not that he can see it through the other end of the phone. "No one’s making you choose anything, Jesus, Nick. You're being a bit dramatic."
"Dramatic?" he huffs.
"I see you what, maybe once a month, Nick? And that's when I make the effort to go to you. I love you and Nic and the boys. I make the effort, Nick. I'm not saying this to upset you, but I want you to support me and what I want for once. So if this doesn't take off with me and Sam, there's no one to choose. Sam works for you, and he will continue to, and I'm your sister, and I always will be. If you're that pissed at me, choose Sam. You can toss a gift card at me for Christmas, sing Happy Birthday to me in October, and have me over for the kids’ birthdays in the summer and your requirements as a dutiful brother are done." I've worn a path in the hardwood flooring as I circle the kitchen island in frustration.
"Screw you, Kate."
"No, Nick. Screw. You. You don't get to tell me who I can or cannot date." Nick has never cared who I've dated, slept with, or been in a relationship with ever. He's always been protective, but I know his anger is directed at me because it's Sam. If it were anyone else, this wouldn't even be a conversation between us.
Angrily he responds. "You're right. I can't. I just didn't think you'd jump in the sack with Sam a week after you met him."
"You're an asshole, you know that?" I'm so angry I'm literally shaking. My hands tremble, and my knees nearly knock together as I seethe. I called Nick to give him the courtesy of knowing what was happening between me and Sam. I didn't want him to find out unexpectedly or take out any of his concerns on Sam. I explained it was simple…casual…nothing serious…yet.
Of course, Nick being overprotective and overbearing Nick, he flipped his shit the second I breathed the name, "Sam."
I hear Nick let out a long sigh as I bite my tongue from saying anything more to my brother. I place a hand on the granite countertop to steady myself and stop my hand from shaking as I try to calm myself down before I say anything I will regret.
"I'm sorry," he finally says apologetically. "You're a grown woman and I shouldn't have said anything to—"
"Apology accepted," I cut him off before he has the chance to twist his apology into another scathing response. "Nick, I promise this won’t get in the way of Sam's job. And I promise that if it doesn't work out with us, I would never expect you to make a decision between us."
His voice hitches with irritation. "It just muddies the lines—"
"Nick, I got it. We're all adults. We're going to manage this just fine," I answer him curtly.
He mumbles something under his breath, and then continues, "I'm just glad his ass is going to be occupied for the foreseeable future with this case." He continues talking, but I zone out. While it's not really the 'blessing' I was looking for, I’m relieved that my relationship with Sam is no longer something I need to hide from Nick.
Suddenly, his tone changes. "Hey, Kate, I gotta run. Let's catch up later, okay?"
"Sounds good, and Nick?"
"Yeah, sis?"
"Thank you."
Nick is quiet for a moment before clearing his throat. "I just want
you to be happy."
I can hear the resolve in Nick's voice, and I can't fight the smile spreading across my face. "I am. I really am."
* * *
For the past week, Sam has been buried in work. I haven't seen him in five days. He sent me a brief text and said that Nick had him traveling for work and that he misses me and has been thinking of me. Every night I go home and wonder if this is the night he'll be coming home. I've learned over the years, from Nick and his work with the ATF, that you can't ask questions. That when they're working a case, their minds are useless for anything else—and that any distractions are dangerous. As hard as it is, their safety is of the utmost importance and I respect and appreciate that.
However, selfishly I'm annoyed because I want Sam with me. Yet the professional in me understands his job commitment and I admire Sam's devotion to his career. It's one of the things that attracted me to him, along with basically every single inch of his body.
I pound away at my keyboard, striking text in these contracts that I won't sign until they’re perfect. I'm a perfectionist when it comes to my job, and I'm thankful I have something to spend my time working on so that I stop worrying and wondering about Sam.
Adam has been gone this week as well, so not only am I lonely at home, I've been lonely at work as well. Today was his first day back and he's either been extremely busy, or he's been avoiding me—as my instant messages and emails to him went unanswered. There's a soft knock on my office door before it slowly opens. To my surprise, it's Adam.
"There you are," I say, standing up to give him a quick hug. I feel him tense slightly and pull away. "What's wrong?" I take a seat back in my chair searching his face for answers. Adam takes the chair just across my desk and props his foot up on his opposite knee. "Tell me there is not more work coming," I pat the stack of contracts piling up on my desk. "We just can't handle it."
He shakes his head and swallows hard. "Just how serious are you and Sam?" he asks. Wow, no beating around the bush.
"Define serious," I say with a cautious smile, not even sure how to answer this question. My heart rate begins to pick up as he shifts in his seat, his posture taught.
"Dammit, Kate. This isn't a joke," he snaps at me, raking his hand over his face.
I wince as he snaps at me. "Jeez, I don't know. Why’re you getting so defensive?" I push myself back from the desk a little bit, putting greater distance between us. Adam's eyebrows are furrowed, and he balls his hand into a tight fist. "What's going on, Adam?" I ask, my heart rate beginning to pick up once I really see how upset he is.
"I don't know," he says, rubbing his forehead and blowing a puff of air from his mouth. "I got some information on your boyfriend, and I don't know whether it's a big deal or not, but I'm fucking pissed off." He stops for a second and looks across the desk at me. "I fucking told him I didn't want to see you get hurt."
"Tell me." I sit up taller and straighten my shoulders, bracing myself for whatever bomb he's about to drop.
"When's the last time you saw him?" Adam asks sternly. And by saw him, I know he means ‘slept with him’.
I wring my fingers together tightly. "Last week. Why? What the fuck is going on, Adam? You're scaring me." My voice hitches, and I can feel my emotions bubbling just under the surface.
Adam sighs and looks directly at me. "You know Marc, my college roommate, the guy that was at my house for the barbecue?" I nod my head quickly, feeling my throat go dry as he continues. From the look on Adam's face and the tone of his voice, I know what he's about to tell me can't be positive. "He happened to see Sam…" he pauses and takes a short breath, "with another woman."
My stomach drops. "What do you mean saw him with another woman? Marc lives in San Diego." My palms are beginning to sweat.
"They were going into an apartment, Kate. Late in the evening. Marc was pretty damn convinced she was a hooker."
"A hooker?" I blurt out and almost laugh. Shaking my head, I respond snarkily, "I can tell you Sam has no need for a prostitute, Adam. He must be there for work."
Adam shakes his head. "Kate." His voice is hard, and his eyes tell me he's concerned.
"What?"
Adam rubs his face and leans in, pressing his elbows to my desk. "Marc said Sam stayed with her all night. He saw him leave in the morning. He stayed in another woman's apartment all night."
My stomach sinks, and my heart races. I swallow down the bile I feel rising in the back of my throat. "He just…" My voice breaks, and I bite my bottom lip to stop it from quivering.
"I don't know what he's told you, Kate…but staying at another woman's apartment hardly passes for work. And I don't know what ATF agents do, but I can't assume that he'd stay in an apartment with a barely dressed woman." Tears sting my eyes, and my lips quiver uncontrollably. Adam's face falls and his eyes are sympathetic when he sees me becoming visibly upset. "I didn't want to tell you, Kate, because you're my best friend and I didn't want to see you hurting…but goddammit, I had to tell you because you’re my best friend, and I can't let you date some fucking piece of shit that's going to go behind your back—and with someone who is possibly a prostitute. Who the fuck does that?" He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
Silence passes between us for a long moment while I wipe my wet cheeks with the back of my hand. "There has to be a reason," I say, almost defending him. "This doesn't make sense." My mind races, trying to recall all of our conversations, searching for any clue as to what he's up to. Unless I don't really know who Sam Cortez is. Unless he's playing me.
I reach for my phone and immediately text Nick: Where’s Sam? I wait for a reply, but nothing comes in. My heart races as more doubts fill my mind, and I now wonder if Sam really is working.
I text Sam next: Where are you? Again, no reply.
"If I see him, I'm going to kill him," Adam says, his voice laced with anger. "Something didn't sit right with me the other night when I met him…and I couldn't place my finger on it, Kate—"
With a shaky voice I try to calm the situation until I get answers. "Don't judge him—yet. Let me find out what's going on." My heart is racing, and my mind is all over the place as I try to reference what Nick has told me with what Sam has told me, and it's all just too much. Emotions take over again, and I lay my head down on my desk and cry.
Adam stays with me while I cry and question everything, including myself. I thought I was a better judge of character, but I guess the saying is true—you never really know who someone is.
Chapter Fourteen
Sam
I haven't seen Kate in seven days, and I'm dying to get back to her…see her, sink into her. I've been fighting off thoughts of her soft body under mine for days. Thinking of being inside her has me practically hard, and I've had to focus on work. I've been holed up in this shitty apartment while we do surveillance on the strip club across the street.
"Cortez," Agent Beck hollers from the living room where our command center is all set up. "You know that bug that Ramos got in the office over at the club?"
I nod and walk over to the table where Agent Beck is listening to audio from the recording device Agent Ramos was able to get into the business office of the strip club we're surveilling. "It picked up a conversation and we got it all on tape." He smiles victoriously, keeping a headphone pressed to his ear.
"What does it say?" I lean in and press both of my hands to the top of the wood table where he's frantically scribbling notes in a spiral notebook. I work old school. I jot my notes on paper before transferring my final work into the computer that holds all the case information and can be accessed by the agency in any location.
"Navarro is transporting the guns into the U.S. via Nogales. They're coming in from Colombia via Russia. Three shipments in the next thirty days. Destination in Mexico is unknown. I couldn't pick that up from the audio. The drugs are coming up to us through TJ." He taps his pen on the notepad and looks up at me, a pleased look on his face.
We're all excited and the mo
od in the room has shifted with this news. "You got ID on the narcotics?”
"Coke."
"Any idea where they're headed?" If I know Navarro and his distribution network like I think I do, my bet is they'll land in San Diego, Vegas, Denver, Omaha, and Minneapolis. His distribution channel is big on the West coast and Midwest.
"Midwest, most likely." He shrugs.
"Yes! I knew it." I smack Agent Beck on the back. "Ramos is at the club tonight. We'll see if she was able to get any other intel when she gets back here." I glance at the watch on my wrist and see that it's almost midnight. Agent Ramos won't be back until almost three in the morning, so I've got three hours to get notes put together with the intel that we've already collected.
Leslie Ramos is one of Los Angeles's newest ATF agents. She volunteered to go undercover in one of Navarro's U.S. based strip clubs to see if we could get any intelligence into the moving of the firearms and drugs we're seeing go across the U.S./ Mexican border. He's been using the strip clubs as a cover to move the guns and drugs. I’m over the fucking moon that we’re finally getting our first taste of what's going on behind those club doors.
"Who's with Ramos?" I ask, wondering who the two agents are that are assigned to her tonight. We have plainclothes agents inside, watching Ramos to ensure her safety, as well as bringing back any valuable intel that they see or hear that Ramos may or may not be privy to. They pose as regular customers, yet are invaluable to Ramos and us.
"Landers and Hart."
I nod again with confirmation that two of our best are inside with Ramos.
Being undercover is a tricky game. We have to dot our I's and cross our T's to ensure no one fucks up. If Landers and Hart leave too quickly after Ramos, it looks suspicious. Professional criminals know behaviors to look for, therefore we always need to be one step ahead.