by Louise, Tia
She tilts her head to the side, and when she looks at me her tone is quiet, serious. “I think you would.”
“So let me.”
He brow furrows, and her eyes flicker away.
I want her to say yes, but instead, she grabs the door handle.
She’s out so fast, I only catch the hem of her skirt as it flicks past the bumper. I turn in my seat to see her jogging up the trail back to town, leaving me with the scent of her all over my clothes, and a promise hanging in the air.
Eighteen
Tabby
“Tomorrow’s the big day, right?” Emberly holds a bowl of jet-black batter as she stands in front of a large sketch of the queen of hearts and different sized cake pans. “Or is it tonight? Does it happen at midnight?”
I’m coming out of the bathroom after having spent a few minutes cleaning up. Andy the Anaconda leaves a big mess when he’s happy.
“What are you talking about?” I’ve tied my hair up in a messy bun again, and even after washing my hands, I’m still convinced I smell like Sex with Chad Tucker.
My stomach tingles remembering all of it… riding his big dick, kissing his soft lips… I’d love to spoil you.
The man is so fine. He’s perfect…
Nobody’s perfect, I remind myself.
“The website?” Emberly stops stirring and gives me a frown. “You said the soft open for Travel Time is tomorrow. You are so distracted these days! Is Chad Tucker so good in bed you can’t think?”
My jaw drops, and I feel my cheeks get hot.
It makes her burst out laughing. “I knew it. You’ve been fucking Deputy Tucker.”
“Emberly!” I look all around the empty store. “Shh! They’ll hear you.”
“Nobody’s here but us. Anyway, they already seem to know. André said a familiar truck was parked outside your house all night on Sunday. I guess my scone disaster had me too distracted. I’m not even going to start on how mad I am at you for not telling me.”
Excitement mixes with dread mixes with nerves mixes with cautious glee—it’s all churning in my guts.
“It’s happening so fast.” I walk slowly to the table, thinking. “It’s happening too fast. I don’t know what to make of it. I didn’t want to tell you until I knew what I thought about it.”
A vase of dried flowers is on the enormous, weathered wood table where Emberly does all her prep work. Sunlight streams through the big glass windows, and the place is empty except for the little register at the front and empty glass cases we hope to fill one day with a selection of large, specialty cakes and cookies.
“And you’re worried about that why?” She goes back to mixing, taking a moment to pour the black batter into one large round and three smaller square pans.
I lean against the table, trying to find the right words to express how I feel. “Remember how we used to say we were going to backpack around Europe together?”
“It wasn’t just Europe.” She walks over and puts the glass bowl in the sink, running water to rinse it. “We were going to go to Australia, Thailand, New Zealand, Fiji…”
“And then everything changed when your aunt died and you inherited this place… and Coco and the cakes…” She nods, and I hold my breath, hoping she isn’t taking this wrong. “I don’t want to change. I still want to do all the things we said we would do. The things I’ve been working toward.”
“So who says you can’t?”
My lips twitch, and I think about it. “It’s a fair question. I guess maybe I’m just worried if I get too attached, I’ll never leave.”
“Afraid you’ll want to settle down in Oceanside and start having babies?”
One of Coco’s toys is on the table in front of me. It’s one of the play-dough molds she uses when she pretends to be making cakes like her mother. With a little flash of surprise, I realize my best friend is exactly right. Only it’s not something I’m afraid of. It’s a real thought I’ve had the last few times Chad and I have been together, starting with last night when he slipped between my thighs condom-free.
I’m on birth control, of course, but I still had the thought of a chubby, dark-haired baby in my arms—and I liked it. A lot.
This morning it freaked me out.
It freaked me out again in his cruiser.
I’m falling for him.
Majorly.
“It’s way too soon for that.” My voice is a firm protest, a wake-up call. “I said no more relationships after Travis, and I meant it. Besides, I barely even know the guy.”
“Oh, please.” Emberly’s mixing up a deep red batter now. “He’s been in Oceanside a year. Robbie trusts him more than anybody. He’s André’s best friend. He checks on Daisy and me every day. We all know him. Chad is not Travis, Tabby. He’s a great guy.”
He is.
“Still…” I turn the toy over in my hand. “Even the perfect ones can break their promises, break your heart, go off and leave you. Then where are your dreams?”
The room is quiet. She stops stirring, and I’m afraid to look up.
I’m talking about Jackson. Her first love, who she thought she would marry. I remember vividly how they looked at each other, how serious they were. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other. I thought it was real.
Then he left and never came back. No word. No explanation. It almost broke her completely.
My voice is so quiet, it’s barely above a whisper. “I can’t let that happen to me.”
Emberly begins to stir again, still not speaking. I brave a glance at her face, and I see her cheeks are pink. I feel like a dog, and I hop off the stool, rushing over to where she is and putting my hands on her waist, my chin on her shoulder.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t say it to hurt you.”
She gives the batter a few more stirs before setting the bowl down with a thud. “You’ve never hurt me.”
Her hands are on my wrists, and she takes them off her waist, turning so she can meet my eyes. “Chad is also not Jackson. Don’t borrow my pain as an excuse to be alone. Anyway, my dream is right here. Look at it.” She opens her hands in an arc, gesturing to the shabby-chic old place she’s slowly turning into a legitimate small business. “I’m almost there. All we need is more customers.”
Nodding I look down. “You’re right. You’ve never given up, and it’s going to happen.”
“I believe it will.” She reaches for my hand, turning it so she can see my wrist—only today I’ve got layers of bracelets covering both.
“What’s this?” Her brow furrows, and she looks up at me. “You never cover your tattoo… Oh! What happened?”
Her voice goes loud, her eyes huge, and I cringe as I try to ease my bruised wrists out of her hands. “It’s nothing. Just a little accident.”
“It looks like… handcuffs?” Her expression morphs into excited surprise, and her voice goes louder. “Did Chad put handcuffs on you? Tabitha Green! You kinky hooker!”
“Stop. It’s really nothing—”
The bell over the door dings, and we both spin around like we’ve been busted doing something wrong. As if by cosmic fate it’s my uncle walking in with Wyatt Jones right behind him.
“Oh, good gravy.” Emberly hops over to the table and scooping up the bowl, stirring rapidly.
“That’s not suspicious,” I mutter, readjusting my bracelets.
She ignores me, calling out, “Good afternoon, Reverend Green! Wyatt. What brings you here?”
“Good afternoon, Emberly. Tabitha.” Uncle Bob nods and gives us his signature pious smile. Gag. “I’m glad you’re here, Tabitha,” he continues, walking slowly to where I’m standing. “I’ve been meaning to speak with you.”
Here we go. “What’s new, fam?”
He lifts his chin. “I want you to know I’ve noticed some things.”
“Is that so?”
Yes, I’m sure he’s noticed Chad’s truck parked in my driveway all night. Did he also see Chad’s cruiser violently rocking behind a bush today a
t lunch? If this cruiser’s a-rockin, it means don’t come a-knockin.
I almost burst out laughing—but I control myself.
“You’ve been making a real effort this year, Tabitha. I want you to know I’ve noticed. Emberly’s mother has noticed, and I’m sure God has noticed as well.”
Not what I expected. Of course, my mouth goes off. “Did God tell you that himself?”
Bob continues unfazed. “I was so pleased to see you with little Colette at the church festival on Friday.” He delivers these words like one of his Sunday homilies. “I can’t tell you what a relief it is to know you’re getting your life right with the Lord and making good decisions for a change.”
“I’ve been working a lot.” His tone, his words, the way he looks down his nose at me, all of it is tightening my stomach into an angry little ball.
“I also approve of you seeing Deputy Tucker.” He rocks back on his heels, nodding. “Chad Tucker is an asset to our community, and I’m sure he’ll be a force for good in your life.”
My jaw is clenched, and I flash a look at Wyatt standing beside him rubbing his chin. “Is Wyatt on the approval committee, as well?”
Emberly coughs a laugh, and I know she of all people is very aware the effect my uncle’s words are having on me. I might have to find some pot to smoke or set something on fire.
“Er, no.” Wyatt cuts in. “Emberly, I was on my way over to tell you I posted a job notice for somebody to paint these old storefronts. Hopefully, I can get a crew in here before too long. Give us all a good facelift.”
“Well, Hallelujah!” I glance at my best friend. “I was beginning to think you were pocketing that money.”
Emberly’s been sending fifty bucks a month to Wyatt for “beautification” of these old buildings since she moved in here, and it’s the first time he’s made any signs of using it.
“Emberly Warren!” Wyatt straightens up fast, pressing his palm against his chest over his heart. “That would be dishonest!”
“It’s been two years.” I jump in, riled up and ready to fight. “That means between Daisy, Em, BP and you, you should have close to five thousand dollars now.”
“It’ll take most of that to pay for the labor and supplies.” He’s still offended, and my uncle is standing back with his hand on his stomach watching it all unfold. “It takes time for things to happen.”
“There’s a sermon in those words, Wyatt.” Uncle Bob is still giving us that holier than thou smile. “Perhaps this painter will be a blessing in disguise. God brings people into our lives for a reason.”
I don’t have time for this.
Snatching my purse off the table, I step over and give my friend a quick kiss on the cheek. “You good here? I need to make sure Travel Time is ready for tonight.”
“I’m good.” She knows I’ll go off if I stay here much longer, but she catches my arm before I run out the door, lowering her voice. “Don’t let that speech freak you out. From what I’ve seen, Chad might be perfect for you.”
My jaw is still tight, and I cast a glance toward my uncle. “We’ll see.”
Chad is definitely perfect at keeping me off my computer. I’ve got to work double-time if I’m going to be ready for midnight. My focus needs to be on Rani and AJ—not Chad and Andy… and these condescending, approving townies.
* * *
“How’s it looking?” My headset is on, and I’m sharing a screen with my two clients in Seattle.
“We really can’t tell you how much we love it, Tab.” Rani’s smile is bright white, lifting her smooth brown cheeks. Her dark hair is cut short, and she keeps a lock tucked behind her ear. “The articles you added about Vis and The Great Blue Hole really set us apart. I doubt many people have even heard of those places.”
“That’s what our adventurous travelers want.” AJ bends down to wave at me from behind her shoulder.
I wave back. “I did my best to ask questions and dig deep. The only thing left is to go there in person and take pictures of our own.”
I’m only half-teasing when I say it, but Rani clears her throat, sitting a little straighter in her chair. “That’s actually something we wanted to discuss with you.”
My eyebrows perk up. “It is?”
AJ rolls up a chair beside Rani. “How would you feel about being sort-of a field scout for us?”
“You want me to be your field scout?” I’m going to have to pick up my jaw off the floor. “What does that mean?”
“Basically, you’d take our planned trips, give us firsthand feedback on what works and what doesn’t, whether the accommodations are as good as they say, if there are sites we haven’t included people should see or vice versa…”
“So you’d be paying me to travel?”
“Not very much,” Rani’s dark brows pull together. “We could arrange the accommodations, even get you decent fights. The only thing that would leave is your meals and drink, clothes, incidentals…”
“We know this means you’d probably have to sacrifice other work.” AJ adds. “And we’re not quite in a position yet to pay you for that loss of revenue. Our hope is the adventure would make up for it.”
I rock back in my chair, thinking about what they’re saying. I’d be going to the places they tell me for the stories they want. It’s not exactly my dream of freedom to travel wherever I want to go, but hell, it’s pretty damn close.
“My work is pretty portable.” I study my calendar, looking at the open dates ahead. “It’s possible I wouldn’t have to give up too many other jobs.”
AJ rests his chin on his hands. “I guess what we’re trying to say is we’d want you to prioritize us. There might be times when you’re in remote locations, poor connectivity. Something might have to give. We don’t want you to be surprised. We want everyone to go in with clear expectations.”
“Okay… Umm… I guess I’ll need to think about it. Is that okay?”
“Of course!” They both cry at once. “Take your time. We’re confident in the material we have for the launch, and it’s not like we need something new right away. We’re more concerned the stuff we’re pushing is as good as we say it is, being able to answer questions.”
Nodding, I look over the packages on the site. “I get that. I won’t take too long.”
“Great!” They both smile, but I feel tense. I’m anxious and uncomfortable, and I’m not really sure why.
“I think we’re ready for tonight,” I say, attempting to calm my anxiety. “But I’ll run through everything again one more time to be sure. Then we’ll just wait on family and friends to pull all the levers and press all the buttons.”
They laugh, and from behind, I hear a knock on my door. “Tabby, it’s me!”
It’s Chad, and my insides are on edge. “I just have someone at my door.”
“No worries! We’ll say goodbye for now.”
I disconnect the call and close the window before I hurry to answer it. Chad’s dimpled grin on the other side only adds to my swirling emotions. My stomach is in knots from my uncle’s dumb speech at Emberly’s, now the job offer from Rani and AJ is hanging over my head. I’m all mixed up. I should be thrilled by their offer. What’s wrong with me?
“What are you doing here?” I sound irritated.
I guess I am.
His brow lowers, and he reaches for me “I came to see you. I missed you.” He leans down to capture my lips in one of his schedule-altering kisses, but at the last minute I turn my face, pulling away.
“No…” I grasp his wrist, exhaling a frustrated groan. I step outside, turning him on the threshold, and closing the door behind me. “I can’t do this tonight.”
His frown deepens. “Why not? What’s going on?”
“I have to be focused on the soft launch for Travel Time.” I release his hand, twisting my fingers and pacing. “I have commitments and responsibilities. In the last four days, since we had our date on Friday, I haven’t done anything!”
“You said you’d gotten a lot
done on Sunday.”
“Yes, I worked Sunday, but that’s it!” My voice rises. “I usually work every day for hours and hours!”
“That doesn’t sound good for you. What’s the old saying about all work and no play?” His cocky smile only increases my stress.
“It’s what made Jack Nicholson lose his shit and axe murder everyone in the Shining!” The tension in my chest is almost more than I can bear. “I’m going to need you to give me some space, okay?”
His smile dissolves into more of a crooked grin, and his eyebrows rise. “I’m saying for the next couple days, you can’t just show up here for a booty call.”
“I never thought of you as a booty call.” His voice is low, possibly a touch defensive.
Trickles of pain begin to filter into the sides of my stomach. These words are coming out, but they’re not really how I feel.
“I just need a little space, okay? I need to get this job done and think about it. Think about what I want to do. Can you let me do that?”
His hands go up, palms facing me as if I’m holding a gun on him. “You got it. I’ll leave you alone.”
“Thank you.” Cramps are in my sides now, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to cry. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Later.” He nods and hesitates for a moment before leaning in to kiss me on the cheek. “Goodnight, Tab. I was just thinking about you.”
His clean, Chad-scent drifts all around me, but he pulls back, turning without another word and heading to his waiting truck in my driveway. My lips press together to stop the trembling, and I grab the door, hurrying inside before he can see me cry.
Why the fuck am I crying? I’m just being honest. For almost a week we’ve been together nonstop. I’ve neglected my work. I’ve neglected my friends. Now I’ve been offered my dream job and I’m not even sure if I want to take it… What the hell?
Now would be a really great, fucking time to have a mother to talk too. Oh, right, she ditched me when I was a baby. I walk across the room and kick the small trashcan under my desk so hard it hits the opposite wall and falls over.