“A death?” Justin stepped back into his apartment and shut the doors.
“They had dreams of a future that their little girl would have—something I’m sure you also had for her—and now the dreams are gone. They had to grieve the loss of that as well as the type of relationship they had envisioned having with her. They experienced the stages of grief, although to a lesser degree than what they would have with an actual death. But they did deal with the denial, guilt, anger and such. They’re in a place where they’re accepting what has happened and are trying to make adjustments for a different future than they planned. I think Beth is scared to go back to the denial and anger stages that you’re likely experiencing.”
Justin’s chest tightened. He knew all about the stages of grief. Though he hadn’t wanted to, he’d sat through counseling sessions with Beth after the death of their whole family. Was that really what he was going through once again? “Are you a shrink or something?”
“No, I’m not. I’m just someone who has been through what you, Beth and Daniel are dealing with.”
“Did your son lose his hearing like Genevieve?” Justin asked as he walked toward the kitchen. He pulled open the fridge and stared at its empty interior. Well, not quite empty. There was an egg carton—holding how many eggs, he had no idea—and a couple bottles of water. He grabbed one of them and quickly twisted the lid off.
“No. Caden was born deaf.”
“So do you know what caused his hearing loss?” Justin swallowed half the bottle as he waited for Alana to reply.
“It was genetic. Apparently both his father and I carry a gene for it.”
Justin wanted to ask where the boy’s father was now, still curious about the reason for the name change, but he sensed that this conversation needed to stay centered on the current situation. “So you don’t think you’ll have the same problem as Beth?”
“No. I’m far enough removed from all of those feelings that I don’t get caught up in them like Beth might. Other things might trigger my emotions, but not helping someone else come to grips with the diagnosis of permanent hearing loss.”
“And you think you’d be able to help me?” Justin sat down on a chair at the kitchen table and ran a hand through his damp hair.
“Maybe. I can answer questions you might have about adapting to life with hearing loss. Over the years, I’ve met people of all ages who are deaf, and I can share their stories with you. It might help you to understand that life isn’t over for Genevieve. She can live a full and happy life even with hearing loss.”
Justin sincerely doubted she’d be able to do that for him. If the psychologists couldn’t help him after his family’s death, there was no way this woman would be able to either. However, he saw in her offer the opportunity to find out more about Alana and the secrets she hid. He had to make sure that whatever was in her past wouldn’t end up hurting his family.
And all the better that the suggestion came from her and Beth. He’d been trying to figure out the best way to draw her out but knew it wouldn’t be easy to ask her questions without raising red flags. Thankfully, she was offering of her own accord to talk about her experiences, opening the door to questions about her past. He might not be able to do anything about Genevieve’s diagnosis, but he could make sure Beth and Daniel were not taken advantage of in the midst of it all.
“Maybe it would be helpful to hear about things like that,” Justin said, trying not to seem too eager. When there was silence on the other end of the line, he realized that in all likelihood she’d assumed he’d decline her offer. He could still picture the fear in her eyes on the two occasions he’d interacted with her. “When would be a good time for you?”
“Uh… Maybe Saturday afternoon? Caden is going to a friend’s house for a couple of hours.”
“Should I come by your place?”
“No.” There was no hesitation before she responded that time, and the trace of alarm in her tone had Justin making a mental note to find out where she lived.
“Why don’t you decide where to meet and then let me know,” Justin suggested.
“Okay.” Her voice was more subdued now. “I’ll let you know by Friday.”
“Sounds good.” When she didn’t reply, he added. “Guess I’ll see you on Saturday.”
After she’d said goodbye and hung up, Justin sat staring at his phone for a bit. In truth, he wouldn’t have minded having someone to talk to about this. The problem was that he wasn’t close to anyone but Beth and Dan. Of the guys at work, he was probably closest to Than and Trent, but not close enough to be able to spill his guts about what was going on. Still, he wouldn’t be spilling his guts to Alana Jensen either. He just wanted to get her comfortable enough to spill hers.
~*~*~
Well, that certainly hadn’t gone as planned. Alana tossed her phone onto the daybed and paced over to the kitchen. She grabbed a glass from the cupboard and shoved it under the tap, cranking the handle to start the flow. As water filled it, she replayed the conversation she’d just had with Justin. She was usually so good at reading people. According to everything she’d seen of Justin, the idea of talking over his feelings should have sent him running in the opposite direction. But the reverse had happened, and now she had to meet with him face to face.
Not at all what she’d planned. She sat down at their small dining table and propped her elbows on it. Squeezing her eyes shut, Alana tried to ignore the growing ache in her head. She still had work to do after putting Caden to bed. Thankfully, he’d been happy to play some games on his tablet while she’d called Justin.
With a sigh, she pushed back from the table and went to the tiny bedroom of their one bedroom apartment and sat down on the mattress next to Caden. When he looked over at her, she signed that it was almost bedtime. His brows drew together, and he gave a quick shake of his head before pleading his case for staying up...again.
Not in the mood to argue, Alana let him know he had thirty more minutes and then it was bedtime. Though she had things to do, she curled up next to him on the mattress and watched him as he played his game. It was one of two luxuries she’d brought with them from their old life. The other was her laptop that she knew she’d need in order to support them. She just hoped that neither of them stopped working anytime soon.
She looked around the sparsely furnished room and couldn’t help remembering the home they’d come from. Caden had been just five years old when they’d left, but she was certain he must have memories of Florida even though he never spoke of their home there. The spacious and beautifully decorated rooms. The toys his father had allowed her to buy for him. The swimming pool where he learned to swim.
When they’d fled their home, she’d been limited in what she could take. But he had his tablet, and along the way she’d picked up a bucket full of Legos. Now that they were settled in one place, he also had all the books he could want from the nearby library. It didn’t seem to bother him that his mattress sat directly on the floor instead of a bedframe. Nor did he seem at all concerned that his clothes were put away in plastic drawers instead of a real wood chest of drawers.
When they’d moved into the apartment ten months ago, Alana had given him the bedroom since she’d be staying up later than him most nights and needed to be able to work without keeping him awake. Though she did keep her clothes in a set of plastic drawers in his room, she slept each night on the daybed in the living room. It had been left by the previous occupants and she’d put it to good use once she’d replaced the mattress. It wasn’t much, their little apartment, but it was theirs.
Since they’d moved around for the first year or so, finally putting down roots had been a blessing. She’d used up all the money she’d saved before leaving Florida, so it had been necessary for her to find some work and she really could only do that once they had settled down somewhere. Plus, she’d needed to start teaching Caden, and homeschooling while they hopped from town to town had been challenging. Since setting up their home in Minneapolis, Ca
den had thrived with his schooling.
And things had actually been going very well. Though the church hadn’t been part of her life when she’d left Craig, she’d made friends with a woman at one of the shelters where they’d stayed who had shared about her faith. It had amazed her that someone who had gone through something similar to her had such peace and joy. She had wanted that for herself.
Since settling in Minneapolis, she’d found a church with a strong deaf ministry and quickly got involved. The church even gave her a small salary to sign during the church services. The rest of her money came from doing things on the internet. She had a blog and an email list where she featured books that were on sale each day. She was able to earn some money through affiliate sales that way and also through some advertising spots on her blog. Freelance writing jobs that she acquired made up the balance of her income.
They wouldn’t be able to survive on just one of those things, but all together, they generally brought in enough money to cover rent, the few bills they had and groceries. She also tried to put aside a few dollars each month…just in case.
It certainly wasn’t how she’d envisioned her life unfolding, but at least now she and Caden were both safe. And they’d stay that way as long as she didn’t let Justin into their life. She’d meet with him this once and after that, she’d only agree to see him when she was at Beth and Daniel’s. Never again would she allow herself to be in the position where a man could use his strength against her. Justin had Craig beat in the muscle department, and she sensed the underlying tension in him that was just like her ex had exhibited.
God had given her a brain, and she intended to use it when it came to dealing with someone like Justin.
~*~*~
“Something on your mind?”
Justin looked up from the mat where he’d landed flat on his back after Alex Thorpe had managed to get the better of him. Normally, Marcus was the only one who could do that to him. When Alex held out his hand, Justin took it and came to his feet.
“Seriously,” Alex said, concern in his blue eyes, hands on his hips. “Is there something going on? Because I really doubt I’ve improved that much.”
Justin walked over to a nearby bench and grabbed the towel he’d left there earlier. He used it to dry the sweat on his face before looping it around the back of his neck, holding onto each end with his hands. “Just dealing with some personal stuff.”
“Personal stuff?” Alex arched a brow as he reached for a towel. “Dude, did you go and get yourself a personal life? A girlfriend, maybe?”
Justin gave him a frustrated look. Alex and his sisters were the only ones in the company who knew his history and his connection to Marcus. He was kind of surprised Marcus hadn’t shared anything with Alex since the two of them were best friends. “No. No girlfriend. Just stuff going on with Beth.”
Concern crossed Alex’s face. “She okay?”
Justin picked up his phone and checked the display as he nodded. “Yeah. We’ll work it out.”
He felt Alex’s hand on his shoulder and looked at him. The man had obviously gotten the hint that he didn’t want to talk about it.
“Well, if there’s anything I can do, let me know.”
That would never happen, and they both knew it. “Sure. I’ll do that.”
“I expect you to keep the upper hand next week or we’ll be doing coffee so we can chat.”
“Well, that’s definitely an incentive,” Justin said with a laugh.
Alex grinned. “I figured it would be.”
As the other man walked away, Justin flipped his phone over and over in his hand. There was still no text or call from Alana. He wondered if she was going to back out and found himself feeling strangely disappointed at the thought.
“Hey, Justin!”
Justin looked up to see Dan walking toward him, dressed in a suit and carrying a briefcase. Though the BlackThorpe compound was heavily secured, he had put both Dan and Beth’s names on the approved list of visitors so they would be let in without a hassle. They didn’t visit often, but Dan had come by a few times to work out with him.
“Dan,” Justin said as his brother-in-law came to a stop in front of him.
Dan’s gaze went from the top of Justin’s head down to his feet. “I swear you just keep getting bigger and bigger, man. You really should share the wealth, you know.”
“You want the muscles, you gotta do the work. I ain’t gonna hand you anything I’ve worked for,” Justin said with a grin. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the other man. “What’s up? I’m sure you didn’t come all this way just to admire my physique.”
With a sigh, Dan nodded. “You’re right. I do have a reason for bearding the lion in his den.”
Justin arched an eyebrow at that comment. “Everything okay with Beth and Genevieve?”
“Yes. All things considered.” He motioned to the bench. “Can we sit for just a minute?”
Trying to ignore the tightness in his chest, Justin sank onto the hard surface of the bench. “What’s on your mind?”
Dan stared out at the room, his profile tense. “I realize now that perhaps Beth and I made a mistake when we didn’t include you sooner in what was going on with Genevieve.”
The pressure in Justin’s chest increased. “You’re her parents. There was no need for me to be included.”
Dan turned to look at him, sadness in his gaze. “You know that’s not true. You love Genevieve as if she was your own daughter.”
Justin couldn’t maintain eye contact with his brother-in-law, so he looked over to where a couple of guys were sparring on a nearby mat. He wondered if Dan was recalling the moment they had placed newborn Genevieve in his arms for the first time. It had been a long labor for Beth, but Justin had stayed in the waiting room the whole time. And when they’d finally come and got him, his own exhaustion had thinned the cover he usually kept over his emotions. He’d taken one look at the little girl’s face and cried.
He’d cried for the hugs from his parents she’d never experience. He’d cried for the fun she’d never have with his more easy-going and fun-loving siblings, all of whom would have doted on her. He’d even cried for the cousins she’d miss out on having. And he’d vowed to be everything she’d be missing in her life since it was just him and Beth left in their family.
“Justin, Beth and I made the decision out of equal parts concern and selfishness. And I want to apologize for that. We should never have kept that information from you.” Dan lifted his briefcase onto his lap and opened it. He reached in and pulled out a folder. “I want you to have these.”
Justin took the folder and gave Dan a curious look. “What is it?”
“These are the results of all the tests Genevieve has had done. I know you’ve probably been trying to research on your own, but you won’t know what to look for if you don’t know what tests she’s already had. You’re welcome to go to a doctor and see what they say about the test results. I wish I could tell you that their answers will be different from what we’ve heard, but I think that’s highly unlikely.”
As he flipped through the thick stack of papers, Justin saw a lot of terms he didn’t understand but give him a couple of days and he’d have it figured out. “Thank you, Dan. I really don’t want to step on your or Beth’s toes in this situation, but I just can’t process this without more information. I just need…to understand.”
Dan slapped his back. “I get that. I put myself in your shoes—something I should have done on day one of all this—and knew I would need more than just some vague information to work through it all.”
Not for the first time, Justin realized just how glad he was that this was the man his sister had married. He was a decent guy and since he worked for the FBI, he understood a lot about what BlackThorpe did. In fact, Marcus had tried on more than one occasion to woo Dan to the company. Dan was smart and super tech savvy. While Trent was their computer guru, Dan was all that and also very knowledgeable about all the lates
t gadgets used by the good and bad guys. A lesser man might have been intimidated by Justin’s presence in Beth’s life, but Dan had accepted him without question, understanding that in a way, they were a package deal.
“Does Beth know you’ve given this to me?” Justin asked as he lifted the folder.
“Yes.”
The text tone sounded on his phone, and Justin glanced down to where he’d put the phone on the bench beside him. He couldn’t really read the text, but he’d leave it to reply to once Dan had left. “Is it okay if I ask you questions once I’ve read it.”
“Certainly.” Dan cleared his throat. “But it might be better if you direct those to me instead of Beth.”
“Understood.”
“Well, I’d better get home. Hope you’ll join us for supper again on Monday.”
“As long as nothing comes up work-related, I’ll be there.” Justin got to his feet when Dan did and shook the man’s hand.
“Good. See you then.”
Justin stood with his arms crossed, folder tucked under his arm, as he watched Dan make his way from the workout room. Armed with more information, he was eager to get in front of a computer as soon as possible. He and Google were going to be spending some quality time together.
As he bent to scoop up his phone, he remembered the text message and pressed the button to activate the screen. Sure enough, it was a message from Alana. She wanted to meet at three o’clock the next afternoon at a restaurant not too far from Beth and Dan’s house.
He quickly typed out an offer to pick her up. So far he’d come up blank in a search for her address. Apparently, Alana Jensen had no driver’s license, which might explain why she took the bus everywhere. She also didn’t appear to be employed anywhere, nor was Caden enrolled in a school that anyone could find. While he realized it was possible she was homeschooling him, what was she doing for money?
And that was the main reason he was meeting with her. Two and two were not adding up to four in the case of Alana Jensen. He needed to find out why.
Signs of Love Page 5