He was still a bit surprised she'd agreed to come here for a meal with him, but he suspected it had more to do with Caden than with her wanting to spend time with him. Something told him that pretty much every decision she made was weighed against how it would impact Caden. He knew how that was. He'd lived a lot of years doing that with Beth.
He wondered if she ever did anything just because she wanted to or because it would be something she enjoyed. At the thought, he gave a short laugh. He wasn't exactly the poster child for doing things he enjoyed outside of what he did for work.
When the waitress showed up at the end of the table with their appetizers, Justin pulled his legs in and straightened.
"Will your wife and son be back?" the waitress asked. "I'll be bringing out their food shortly."
Wife?
Son?
CHAPTER NINE
Justin blinked and then swallowed hard before saying, "They just went to the bathroom."
Wife?
Son?
He couldn't seem to shake the scenarios that suddenly popped into his mind. He should have told the waitress that Alana wasn't his wife. That Caden wasn't his son. Why hadn't he corrected her?
Because it really didn't matter in the long run. It was a natural assumption for someone to make, but explaining the real relationship would have just been too complicated.
At least that's what he told himself.
Before he could think much more about it, Caden dashed into the booth with Alana right behind him. As promised, the waitress showed up with the rest of their order and suddenly the table was full of food.
Caden looked at Alana and then they began to sign together. Matching each other sign for sign. When they finished and Caden began to eat, Alana met his gaze.
"We were just saying grace before we ate."
Just nodded his understanding. He bowed his head and said a quick prayer as well.
"Here, help me with these appetizers," Justin said as he pushed a plate of nachos toward Alana.
She glanced at the salad in front of her then reached out to snag a couple of the chips. Meanwhile, Caden was tucking into the meal he'd chosen. French toast. Eggs. Sausage. As he watched the boy eat, Justin had a flashback to when he'd been about that age. During the week, they tended to have oatmeal, toast and fruit, but on Saturdays, breakfast was a treat. He remembered having all the things Caden was eating. His mom and dad would work side-by-side in the kitchen preparing a larger than usual breakfast for him and his siblings.
Justin didn't often think about his childhood—so much of the time before the loss of his family was fuzzy—but watching Caden was bringing them into focus. In his mind's eye, he could see he and his mom having discussions like Alana and Caden had. It was hard to think that even though he and Caden had both faced tragedy in their lives, Caden had experienced it at a much younger age.
Justin didn't know how much the young boy might have known about what went on between his parents, but at some point, obviously he'd suddenly been without a father. Likely Alana had hidden her bruises from people outside the home, but no doubt there had been days when she was in a lot of pain. Caden would have seen that when no one else would have. And yet the boy seemed so happy, and no matter what his father had done, Caden had a caring and gentle nature that Justin had seen when he'd spent time with Genevieve.
Caden offered his mom a bite of sausage which she took after a moment's hesitation. Justin was glad to see her picking at the appetizers in addition to her salad.
"What exactly do you do at BlackThorpe?"
Justin swallowed the bite he'd taken and took a gulp of his water. "I am in charge of the training division. That includes hand-to-hand combat training as well as weapons training. We have a large area of land that's been set up to facilitate training, with buildings and different things that represent situations the groups we're training might run into. We train in all types of weather and terrain, and we're out for twenty-four hours straight sometimes. The compound also has an obstacle course along with the gym where people can work out."
Alana plucked another chip from the plate of nachos. "Who do you work with?"
"We have our own teams that we've trained for security—corporate and personal. Our guys have also been hired to help with search and rescue among other things. And there are companies that send us groups of employees to train as well as some military teams."
"Do you lead the training yourself?"
"I'm definitely more hands on than I likely need to be. I have a good team that works with me. I just prefer to be involved. Keeps me on my game."
"Have you taught self-defense before? Is that what Eric was talking about?"
Justin nodded. "I offer courses a couple of times a year for employees and their family and friends. For the most part, it's women who take it. I believe strongly in equipping people with the ability to keep themselves from becoming victims if at all possible."
Alana tilted her head. "And that's what you're going to teach me?"
"Yes."
"I would like to get Caden involved in Karate or something similar one day. Is that something you'd recommend?"
"Definitely. At his age, he can learn the basics of it without any problem."
"I worry that his being deaf might impact his ability to learn."
Justin thought about his team, knowing that a couple of them, at least, had training in Karate. They could probably help Caden. "It might, but you won't know for sure unless you look around for courses to see what sort of set-up they have and how willing the teacher is to work with Caden."
"You don't know Karate?" she asked, her eyes on her salad.
"I took lessons when I was a little older than Caden, but my interest drifted away from that as I got older, so while I remember some of the moves, I've forgotten a whole lot more."
Out of the corner of his eye, Justin saw their waitress approached and looked up when she said, "How's everything?"
"It's great, thanks," Alana said with a smile. She looked at Caden and gave him a thumbs up. He grinned and gave her a thumbs up in return. At least Justin didn't need her to interpret that.
"Yes, everything is good," Justin agreed.
"Can I bring you anything else?"
After a moment's thought, Justin asked her to do up a couple burgers and fries to go. "And then the bill, thanks."
He was pleased to see that the appetizers were basically gone, and both Alana and Caden had finished what they ordered. Justin wasn't sure why he was concerned about what they ate, but the memory of Alana's too-slender arm wasn't something he'd been able to push from his mind.
"Looks like he was hungry enough to eat the whole meal," Justin commented as Caden carefully lifted his cup of chocolate milk and sipped it through a straw.
"Yes. He didn't eat much for lunch. Once he found out where we were going and that he'd get to see you... Well, his appetite kind of got lost in the anticipation."
Warmth spread inside Justin as he thought of Caden's excitement at seeing him. He didn't know what it was about him that drew the boy, but he couldn't deny he enjoyed the feeling.
Once the waitress brought the two orders he'd placed and he'd taken care of the bill, they left the restaurant.
"Thank you for the ride and for lunch," Alana said as they approached his truck. "I guess we'll see you next week."
"I wish you'd let me drive you home," Justin said as he opened the driver's door.
She smiled at him, her full lips turning up at the corners just enough to bring out small dimples in her cheeks that he hadn't noticed before. Long dark lashes framed her green eyes that held none of the wariness of the past as she said, "You've done plenty. We appreciate it very much."
And yet he found himself wanting to do so much more for her. Them. He rubbed a fist across his chest, fighting a sudden tightness there. "Well, like I said earlier, if you do need a ride or anything, just give me a call. You have my number."
"I do," Alana agreed with a nod of her head
then reached out and grasped Caden's hand. The boy smiled and waved at him.
Justin waved back and then watched as they turned and walked toward the bus stop. When he swung around to his truck, he realized he still held the bag with the take-out in it. "Oh hey, wait up." When Alana turned, he jogged toward her and held out the bag. "Supper's on me."
She looked at the bag and then met his gaze. He thought she was going to refuse, but then she reached out and took it from him, their fingers brushing lightly as he let go of it.
"Thank you. Again."
"Anytime." He jogged backward a couple of steps before turning and heading back to the truck.
~*~*~
Alana tried to focus on Caden's stream of signs as they rode the bus home. Her thoughts kept drifting to Justin and the time they'd spent together. And now, more than ever, she was certain she should spend as little time in his company as possible. She obviously had a type...she hadn't really thought about it since she'd only dated Craig. But now that she was finding herself attracted to someone who was physically very similar, she knew it was more than just a coincidence.
But it was just physical attraction. And that she knew she could ignore. Unfortunately, his kindness toward Caden was more difficult to brush aside. She was a sucker for anyone who treated her son well. They were immediately a friend in her mind. Too bad her heart wasn't as content to have Justin as just a friend.
Back in the apartment, Caden grabbed the book she'd told him he had to read two chapters of before he could play on his tablet. She was so grateful that he'd picked up reading quickly and easily and read well above his grade level. It meant he could follow along with the closed captioning for some of the shows and movies he liked to watch on her laptop.
He sat on the daybed, scooting back until he reclined against her pillows. Bending his knees, he planted his feet flat on the mattress and propped the book against his thighs. Whenever she looked at him, his blond curls hanging over his eyes, concentration on his beautiful little face, Alana absolutely couldn't regret that she'd gotten involved with Craig. Her sweet boy filled her heart and life with more love and joy than she could have ever imagined. When her parents had told her to get an abortion or else, Alana had chosen the "or else" and every day she was grateful she had. If it hadn't been for Caden, she might never have had the strength to leave Craig.
As she slid the bag with take-out containers into the small fridge, she said a prayer of thanks for Justin's generosity. Alana had no idea what had prompted him to make the gesture, but since she hadn't made it to the store yet that week, she was glad for the food that would help stretch what they had until she could get some grocery shopping done.
A knock on the door drew her attention, and Alana let out a sigh. She had a feeling she knew who would be there and was tempted to ignore it, but he wouldn't go away. She'd tried that approach one day. There was no peephole to see who it was but opening the door confirmed her suspicions.
"Hello, Mr. Dean." Alana tried to keep her tone friendly.
The man swayed slightly as he lifted a cigarette to his lips. The smell of booze and cigarette smoke wafted her way, and Alana had to steel herself from taking a step back. Though the smell was overwhelming, she tried to be grateful that at least today the man was wearing a T-shirt in addition to his boxers. He'd appeared on her door in less, much to her dismay. His brown hair was thinning and looked like it could use a good wash. He blinked a couple of times as if to clear the blurriness from his reddened eyes.
"Ello, Alana." He held up a cup that looked to be about half full with a dark beverage she was going to assume was coffee. "D'ya have any cream?"
"I'm sorry. I don't use cream." She'd long since learned how to drink her coffee black. He knew she never had any, but it was just one of the excuses he used to pound on her door. Not for the first time, she wished she could afford an apartment in a slightly better building.
"Milk?"
The love thy neighbor verse was going around in her head as she stood there. He knew she'd have milk. And that she would give him some because she'd done it each time he'd asked. "Just a minute."
She closed the door and locked it before going to the fridge to pull out the milk. There wasn't a lot in the jug, but there should still be enough left for Caden's cereal and drink in the morning even after giving the man some. When she opened the door again, Mr. Dean thrust the mug at her. Mindful of how the cup shook in his hand, she poured some into it.
"Thanks, Missy," he said then put the cigarette back in his mouth and ambled back to the stairs that led to his apartment on the floor beneath theirs. She worried that one of these days he'd stumble on the stairs and break his neck.
When she returned the milk to the fridge, Alana spotted the take-out containers and was reminded of the generosity of Justin and others in their lives. If a little milk made the man's day brighter, it was really the least she could do.
Mr. Dean never seemed to want to make conversation beyond what they'd just had, and she'd never gotten the feeling that he was coming on to her. It just seemed that every few days he needed some sort of human contact, and he'd chosen her for that. She had no idea what drove him to drink—she’d yet to see him sober—but clearly something had.
It was at times like these she was reminded how much she had to be grateful for. Sure her lifestyle now was nowhere near what she'd grown up with or even had when she'd lived with Craig, but her boy was healthy and happy. They were safe. They had a home. She glanced over to where Caden still sat, his nose in the book he held.
Yes, she was blessed.
~*~*~
"Where is your head at, man?" Justin slammed his fists onto his hips and glared at the guy bent over beside him, his hands braced on his knees.
Sweat slid down Justin's forehead and dripped into his eyes. Blinking away the sting, he lifted his arm to use his sleeve to wipe away the perspiration from his brow. "We never lose."
Than straightened and took a deep breath. The usually well-groomed man was a mess. Splatters from the volley of paintballs he'd taken from the opposing team spread across every part of his body. He took a swipe at a hunk of black hair that fell over his dark eyes, leaving a mixture of paint and mud across his forehead. "Sorry, dude."
"Sorry?" Justin jerked his hand toward where the opposing team had gathered. "You just handed out the first victory ever against the BlackThorpe team. Do you have any idea how many years it's gonna take to live that one down?"
They didn't always use paintball weapons since they had laser ones available, but every once in a while they'd pull them out. Usually, no matter what the weapon of choice, they won, but this time, the winning team was a military one who had come to BlackThorpe to do some training before their next mission. They were definitely going to take bragging rights and run with them. Yeah, it was going to take a while to live this one down.
Justin crossed his arms and stared at Than. The man truly did look miserable. "Still no word from the lovely Lindsay?"
Than's brows drew together as he gave a quick shake of his head. "When she asked for a little time, I thought maybe a day or two not ten."
"Maybe you should have given her a more precise time frame."
"Seriously?" Than gave him an exasperated look. "You think I'm going to take advice about women from you? When was the last time you took a woman out on a date?"
The man had a point. He didn't really understand women any better than the next guy. His own sister left him totally mystified sometimes. "Then I guess I should say better you than me?"
That got him another look, but Justin just laughed and slapped Than on the back. "Let's go get cleaned up and brace ourselves for the gloating."
Justin had planned to go to Beth's for supper but when the exercise had turned super competitive, he'd texted her on one of their breaks that he couldn't make it. And he was glad now that he had because all he wanted was a long hot shower, not just to wash away all the paint but to ease the aches from the harder-than-usual workout.
In addition to Than, his group had included Alex, Trent and two of his team at the compound. Though the three guys were mainly desk jockeys, they worked to keep their skills up and usually the six of them were a good team. Justin shook his head. Taken down by a lovesick guy. He felt a bit of sympathy for the other man, but not enough to prevent him from ribbing Than about it every chance he got.
As he stood in front of his open fridge looking for something to eat after his shower, Justin thought of the time he'd be spending with Alana and Caden the next afternoon. He was still trying to figure out his reactions to the pair. If he didn't have room in his life for a woman, he certainly didn't have room for a woman and a child. There was no sense in allowing any thoughts but those viewing her as Beth's friend to enter his mind.
That protective side of his nature had tried to convince him that Alana and Caden needed him to keep them safe, but Justin knew better. He would give Alana the tools to protect herself and Caden, because, given her past, that was the best thing he could do for her. And in return, she'd give him the ability to communicate with his niece.
And Caden.
Justin shut the fridge door with a little more force than necessary. If truth be told, he'd been struggling with his own distraction throughout the exercise earlier. Fortunately for him, he'd practiced the moves and positions so often his body had reacted even when his mind had been a little slow on the uptake.
And if he was honest with himself, his decision to skip supper that evening had been partly avoidance. After the previous week when he'd wanted to prolong their time together, Justin had a little talk with himself about letting his thoughts and emotions go in that direction. He couldn't go back on his promise to help them, but he could limit the other time he spent with them until he got a handle on what was going on inside of him.
The next afternoon Justin met Alana and Caden down by the main desk. Alana wore her usual outfit of a long skirt and a loose, long-sleeve blouse, but she clutched a bag that Justin hoped included clothes more appropriate for what they would be doing.
Signs of Love Page 12