"Oh . . . what's wrong?"
Shawna told her everything, starting with Derick's kiss and ending with her conversation with her mother. Not once did Mikki interrupt her to say something smart, or to inject a story about herself in the guise of "relating.".She hummed and made sounds of disapproval and agreement in the right places, waiting patiently for Shawna to finish. As soon as Shawna was done, she clenched, waiting to hear whatever venom Mikki was about to spew.
"I'm really sorry that you've been having a rough couple of days," Mikki said. Shawna's eyebrows came together and switched the phone to a different ear.
"Sorry about what?" Shawna asked. "You were right…ish."
"That doesn't mean that I want you to be upset," Mikki said. "I really do want you to be happy, and if your happiness means being with that low-down ragamuffin, then I can't stop you. I just wish that you would come back and use my shoulder to cry on. You know, like you used to. Is there anything I can do for you right now?"
"No," Shawna said, turning onto the street leading to her apartment building. "Thanks for being there, Mikki. I'm suspicious, but thank you."
"Well, if you must know," Mikki said. Her old, cocky voice returned to normal. "I actually want to ask your musty-ass boyfriend a favor."
"He is not going to do you, of all people, any favors."
"Of course not, but since he fucked up, I figured that he'd do whatever you, of all people, want."
Shawna rolled her eyes and shook her head even though Mikki couldn't see her reaction. Still, she was happy that Mikki had reached out to her with something other than a bitter sentiment. Just like Mikki could not make Shawna forget about Virgil, Shawna couldn't change Mikki's mind about him.
"What's the favor?"
"I need a band to play one of my benefits in a few weeks. Do you think his band would be available?"
"I don't think they play the kind of music you're looking for."
"No, it's a young crowd. I actually think they play exactly the kind of music I'm looking for, but just in case, see if they're open to doing an alternate set list."
"Whatever, Mikki."
"No, but seriously. If you need to talk, or some place to crash, just let me know. I hope you guys work it out."
"Thanks."
* * *
Shawna opened the door to their apartment. She hadn't locked it in her rush to get out of there. The apartment was quiet, dark. None of the lights had been switched on to compensate for the change in the sun's position, or the cloudiness from earlier in the day.
Virgil sat exactly where Shawna had left him, on the edge of the bed, with his chin cradled in his hands. His eyes were red and puffy. The idea that she could bring him to tears broke Shawna's heart. She stayed in the doorway, not daring to venture any closer to Virgil. His touch would instantly derail every thought and replace anger with something inappropriate for this moment. She loved Virgil. This was a fact that was clear as day, but she also couldn't bring herself to fully trust him, and until they got a system in place, Shawna could see this scenario repeating itself over and over until one of them gave up completely.
"We need to talk," she said.
Virgil nodded and stood up from the bed. Tall men had always been Shawna's weakness. A man with a towering stature made giving up her power, giving into vulnerability, all too easy. Height offered an illusion of strength, maturity and protection, when in reality a man was just a man.
"First of all, I'm sorry for overreacting. I have honestly never been in a situation like this before. I have to have time to think . . ." She paused, hearing Virgil's sharp intake of breath as he prepared himself to receive devastating news. Shawna chose her next words carefully. "We don't know each other, Virgil. We barely know each other's history. I don't know what's touchy for you. You don't know what's touchy for me . . . and . . ." She looked into Virgil's eyes, finding him surprisingly calm. "I don't know what the end goal is," she whispered. "I've lost the point."
"The point?" Virgil asked.
"The point of us," she replied. Virgil flinched, but she had to keep going. "I don't know if we're a failed experiment or if I'm a rebound chick . . ."
"You're not a rebound," Virgil said darkly. "We are not a failed experiment. Hopefully, we're two people who love each other."
"Then why does this all feel so inauthentic?"
"I would kill for you, Shawna. I would lay my life down for you. I don't know what I ever did without you. Please . . . Don't leave me."
Shawna crossed her arms. "Okay . . . but . . . this thing with Janet--"
"There isn't a thing," he said quickly.
"Virgil, you were thinking about her while we . . ." Shawna trailed off with a bitter laugh.
"Her coming back was a shock to my system. I'm not going to lie and say that I no longer have feelings for her, but I have no intentions of going back. None at all. It was a mistake, Shawna. All I can do is apologize and do better." Virgil approached Shawna, cupping her face with his large, warm hands. "I will do better," he said.
Shawna allowed him to pull her into an embrace. He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head.
"I'm going to go jump in the shower," Shawna said, stepping back.
"Want some company? I swear that the only name that will pass through my lips is yours."
Shawna laughed, throwing her hands in the air. Getting to the edge of the hallway she looked over her shoulder. "Maybe, but I think I should punish you, naughty boy."
"Oh, I can't wait." Virgil's phone buzzed. "I'll be there in a sec."
Virgil waited until he heard the water running in the bathroom. He stepped out onto the balcony and closed the door behind him. Pressing his phone screen, he dialed back the number of the call he had just missed.
"So, I take it that she came back then," Janet said. "Does that mean you're not coming to see me?"
"That’s what it means," Virgil said. "I'm done. I will never make that mistake again. Whatever is between you and me is dead. We're strictly coworkers now."
"You fucking tease," she said, laughing. "That's okay. It's an open invitation. I swear I won't tell her. It'll be our little, sexy secret."
"I mean it. We're done. Never again." Virgil threw a glance over his shoulder to make sure Shawna wasn't behind him.
"That's what you say now, but the next time you're horny on your lunch break and your little girlfriend is at church sucking off Christ, we'll see who you call first. See you at rehearsal. Bring your cock."
Virgil hung up on her and leaned on the balcony wall. It would have been so easy to fling himself down into the roaring traffic below. But then he would miss his last chance to hold and keep the only woman who ever made him feel like he was worth a damn. He cursed himself for his lapse in judgment. He shouldn't have called Janet. He shouldn't have seen her on his lunch break. He shouldn't have fucked her, but he had had to know once and for all if he was able to resist her. He’d failed. He’d imagined his love for Shawna would keep him safe, but that was just stupid…try explaining that reasoning to Shawna…try explaining that Janet pulled something out of him that felt wrong, all the way wrong, and was enjoyable because r of a chance. But eventually the two women would meet face to face. It was inevitable. Virgil's mind clouded over whenever he tried to plan for when his two worlds would collide.
PART 4
CHAPTER 11
Shawna's leg bounced to the rhythm of her typing. This paper had to get done before she could turn her attention to Virgil's concert. He had been so skittish about inviting her to any of his shows that when he insisted on her coming to this one, Shawna nearly keeled over. Virgil had sung to her, and she loved his voice. The tenor tones reverberated throughout her entire body and made her feel tingly all over. She had all but given up on finding new music until Virgil snatched her into his world. The intoxicating, rich, full sound of his music was what she used to get through the day. Even as she drummed away at her paper, checked her research and made sure that she was still on track, V
irgil's voice crooned through her headphones to a dramatic guitar riff.
It hadn't always been smooth sailing. After Virgil called out his ex's name during sex, they had a long, chilly period of rebuilding. Shawna needed to take it slow. Part of that process was reclaiming her independence. She got a job as a pharmacy assistant and quickly enrolled in classes to finish her degree program. Being suspended in a state of uncertainty forced Shawna to wake up to the reality that, no matter what, she had to be sure that she made her own way in the world. She couldn't depend on Virgil or his money, and she had a hard time figuring out how she had ever thought that was a good situation to be in. They weren't married. He didn't owe her anything. He could have kicked her to the curb on a whim and there would have been nothing she could have done about it.
The other part of their rebuilding process required them to lay their souls bare. No more secrets. No more lies. Shawna told Virgil about Derick making a move on her, and Virgil topped that by admitting to fucking Janet behind her back. She had been stunned by how much it hurt, how vulnerable and left out it made her feel. He had apologized over and over, and she trusted his sincerity, but she hadn't cried like that in a long time. It made her numb inside to realize he could do this to her whenever he wanted―or whenever he was too careless to
think about the consequences.
The memory made her snatch her headphones from her ears and turn off the song. Many nights afterwards she asked herself why she had stayed with a man who destroyed her trust in him at every turn. How many chances was she willing to give? But the truth was, she saw the effort, and that made the difference. As far as Shawna was concerned, Janet was a demon, and she wasn't about to let the Devil win. They met only once and that was enough for Shawna to declare that they were mortal enemies.
"I hope that bitch gets hit by a truck," she grumbled out loud.
Shawna picked up the pace and re-focused her attention. She was going to make it to this concert if it was the last thing she did.
Virgil attempted to sneak in, knowing that Shawna would be at her desk and not in the living room, but she heard him anyway, and was facing the hallway when he came by her home office. Sauntering into the room, he made it obvious that he held something behind his back. The late September weather meant that he was back in his thin, long, black coat and heavy combat boots. He wore another local band's black t-shirt and cargo pants. Shawna often teased him about looking like a walking ink stain. The dark eyeliner made his gray eyes pop, and Shawna sometimes felt overexposed under his gaze. She wiggled in her seat and pulled up the strap on her low-cut, pink tank top. Its neckline dropped low enough to show the upper edge of her dark blue bra. His eyes dropped to her cleavage shortly before rising back to her face.
"What are you hiding?" Shawna asked.
Virgil's tongue passed between his lips before he bit the bottom one. Shawna smelled like cocoa butter and that fancy soap he liked. Slightly disappointed that she had showered without him, he hoped to make up for it. He placed the pink and white bag on her desk and kissed her cheek.
"Happy six-month anniversary," he said, rubbing her bare shoulders and pressing her into his body. Shawna rubbed his flat stomach, feeling his half-boner brush against her wrist. She felt a thrill of arousal.
"Six months? Really?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Wow. I . . . didn't get you anything." She pulled the tissue out of the bag.
"Oh trust me, you got me something."
Shawna pulled out two packages. One was a large, jewel-green dildo, and the other held a small, round-tipped vibrator. Virgil grew hard just watching her fingers caress the shape of the fake cock.
"And what do you expect me to do with these, sir?" Shawna asked. "When I have this." She ran her fingers and palm over his crotch and felt the thick bulge underneath.
"Let me show you."
Virgil led Shawna by the hand into the bedroom. From behind, he lifted her tank top over her head. Kissing her shoulder, he brushed his fingertips along her stomach and up to her breasts, running his fingers slowly over the cloth of her bra. He unhooked it and let it fall off as his hard cock pressed against her back. He sighed with pleasure as her breasts tumbled into his hands. Shawna reached behind to stroke his erection and his hands tightened around her chest, making her gasp with pleasure and a hint of pain. She turned around and unzipped Virgil's pants before wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her soft lips against his. His tongue darted into her mouth, licking a ticklish trail against the roof of her mouth. He walked her backwards and Shawna flopped down on the bed.
Virgil opened the vibrator and inserted the batteries, while watching Shawna wriggle out of a cute pair of rainbow-striped panties. He tested the vibe and Shawna cocked an eyebrow.
"Honestly," he said, lying on top of her, "I bought this more for me." He turned the vibrator on low and licked circles around her nipple to get it wet before teasing it with the toy. He did the same with the other. Waves of pleasure shot through Shawna, all the way to her spine and down to where she was sopping wet. Her pussy ached with longing. Virgil kissed her sensitive ribs and traveled down to her mound. He teased the lips of her pussy with his tongue before transferring his kisses to the inside of her thighs. Pressing the vibrator against her clit, Virgil watched Shawna's face.
Shawna had never used a vibrator or any sort of sex toy before. The religion taught her that to pleasure herself was a sin. While she was adept at using her fingers, Shawna didn't dare to buy something that would leave evidence of her activities. The vibrator felt like nothing she had ever experienced before.
Virgil lowered his head and stuck his tongue into her hole, slowly moving it in and out while still circling the vibrator around her clit. The intensity of the pleasure made her buck her hips and moan. Shawna massaged her own breasts while focusing on the sensation of Virgil fucking her with his tongue. Her body felt like a field of molten lava as they lay on top of the sheets.
Virgil switched places with the vibrator, sucking at Shawna's clit while teasing her hole and lips with the vibrator. Making sure she was slick, he turned up the vibration and watched with unadulterated joy as Shawna quivered.
"I'm cumming," she moaned, gripping the sheets beneath her. The orgasm struck all of her muscles as wave after pulsating wave ran through her.
Virgil smiled and kissed her sensitive clit, loving the anguished cries she gave when she was overstimulated. He unpackaged the dildo and washed it in the master bathroom, giving Shawna some time to recover. When he came back, Shawna was quick to wrap her hand around the real thing, stroking Virgil's rock-hard member. He let her hands do their work while he leaned over her. A low, pleasurable rumble came from his chest as she sat up and took the length of his cock into her mouth. Her moan matched his as Shawna ran her tongue against his skin, savoring his salty taste. Virgil's hips took on a mind of their own as he thrust into Shawna's hands.
"Open up," Virgil said. Shawna blew the green dildo and as her eyes met Virgil's, his knees grew weak. He took the dildo from her mouth and his cock from her hands. Getting back to the bottom of the bed, Virgil draped Shawna's knees over his shoulders and slowly inserted the dildo inside her wide-open pussy. The toy was slightly longer and thicker than his cock. He breathed in her earthy scent as he gently moved the dildo in and out.
"It's not the same," she said almost breathlessly.
" It's not supposed to be," Virgil said, picking up the pace. The fake cock glistened with her arousal. Virgil licked and sucked at her clit at the same time. Shawna's chest heaved as her second orgasm crawled to peak at a slower pace. Her stomach twitched and her chest heaved. Shawna's voice bounced off the walls, and Virgil smiled. He removed the fake cock and replaced it with his own throbbing cock.
"Oh, I like that much better," Shawna moaned. She rolled her hips against Virgil's. Virgil licked her juices off the dildo and shrugged. He put it to the side and pulled Shawna's hips tight against him.
"Trust me, I like being inside of y
ou," he said against her mouth. They rocked the bed off of the screws that secured it to the wall and giggled at the sudden, noisy creaking. Shawna came for a third time and Virgil followed soon after, hands wrapped around her ass. He collapsed on her body in exhaustion, his heart beating wildly and his lips against her neck. He was murmuring something but she couldn’t tell what. It didn’t matter―she liked the tickle of the words on her skin, whatever they were.
Sometimes Shawna wished she smoked to be able to show how much she enjoyed the intensity of Virgil's lovemaking skills. She liked that image from movies and TV shows: the two small flames in the darkness as the lovers rested. If they had time, she wouldn't have minded going again, but they both had to get ready.
"I am scared out of my mind," Virgil said, suddenly.
"What? Why?"
Virgil rolled over and propped himself up on his elbows. "This is the biggest crowd we have ever played. I mean . . . huge. I . . . What if I choke on my own spit?"
"Oh my god, Virgil," Shawna said, giving him a playful push. "You'll do fine, baby. I just know it. The reason you have such a big crowd is because people know that you guys fucking rock."
"You kiss your mama with that mouth?" he teased.
"I suck your cock with this mouth."
Virgil laughed, kissed Shawna passionately and slid on top of her.
"Virgil, we have to go," Shawna said against his mouth. "You're going to be late."
"Fashionably late," he said.
Virgil took off and headed to sound check, leaving Shawna to get ready for the concert. With Mikki's new "plays well with others" campaign, she’d asked if she could go to the concert, too. Mikki even sounded excited to go shopping for some clothing that was beyond her scope of fashion.
"I've never even seen the Addams Family, and now you want me to dress up like Morticia."
"Or Lydia. Did you ever see Beetlejuice?"
BWWM Romance: Crossing The Line: Interracial Romance / Wealthy Love Interest Page 13