She stared back at him in stunned silence, frozen in time. Her tormentor, her captor—her first love—was on this very ship. She felt so many things all at once that she couldn’t begin to untangle the emotional mess. She wanted to hate him, wanted to be so angry that she’d celebrate his death. But all she felt was an aching emptiness where her past should have been.
“What happened to him?” She tried to convince herself she didn’t care, that she simply needed to know so that chapter of her life could finally close.
“The Evonti implanted devices in his brain. Dr. Mintell is still trying to figure out exactly what they’re capable of doing. However, when my trackers found Jim, the devices caused a series of intense, sustained seizures that resulted in extensive brain damage.”
“Can the damage be regenerated?” Her throat burned and her hands began to tremble, but she couldn’t name the emotions surging inside her. Why in creation should she care what happened to that bastard after everything he’d done to her?
“Dr. Mintell is trying to repair enough of the damage so Jim can answer some basic questions, but the Jim you knew is gone forever. He’ll never be the same, not even close.”
She laughed, a bit of her anger burning through the numbness. “You think I give a damn? Jim deserves everything he’s getting and a whole hell of a lot more. I’m just trying to understand the situation.” Even to her own ears the words were not quite convincing. She might not want to care what happened to Jim, but she did. Some part of her would always love the man he had once been.
“We found him at the L.A. address.” He waited until she looked at him to add, “We might never have found him without your help.”
She was still too upset to accept the praise. “I want to see him. I need to see him.”
He pressed back in his chair, clearly opposed to the suggestion. “Dr. Mintell is going to update me after the regen cycle has completed. If Jim is no longer functional, there’s no reason for either of us to see him.”
She wasn’t sure she agreed, but she’d wait until the doctor knew more before she started the argument.
The food was suddenly tasteless, so she pushed her plate aside and cradled her mug between her hands. As far as she was concerned, Jim Dayton had one purpose and one purpose only, leading them to Abaddon. “Even if Jim is…severely damaged, can you scan his memories? Find out what we need to know?”
His expression grew even more intense, yet his tone remained calm and low. “I can’t do it unless he’s lucid enough to agree. I will not force my way into someone’s mind and take what I want by force.”
“Why not?” she whispered, gaze boring into his. “He did that and a lot worse to me.”
“You answered your own question, Rebecca.” Sedrik came around the table and pulled her to her feet. “Mental rape is still rape, and I will have no part in it.”
She wrapped her arms around his back and pressed her face against his chest as anguish saturated her in its icy deluge. “I thought I was over this.” She fought back a sob, refusing to give in to the weakness again.
“Cry, my love,” he whispered against her hair. “I forbid you to hold it in ever again.”
The order made her smile, which in turn released the tears. Emotions flowed out like pus from an abscess, bitterness, anger and hate. She trembled as her body purged, but Sedrik’s strong arms and unique scent kept her anchored to her new reality. She wasn’t that tortured bird, trapped in a cage, she was free, protected and loved. She had hope in her life, and purpose—and Jim would never hurt her again.
Gradually light penetrated the darkness and she regained control of her emotions. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’ve soaked your uniform, again.”
He eased her back and wiped her cheeks with his knuckles. “You have nothing to apologize for.” He grinned. “You were just following orders.”
A laugh burst from her and it felt so damn good, she did it again.
She didn’t hear the signal, but suddenly Sedrik’s expression tensed. “This is Lux, go ahead.”
It was likely Dr. Mintell she realized and braced for another rush of emotion. But all she felt was curiosity, and resignation. Jim Dayton no longer had power over her regardless of the outcome of his regeneration.
“I understand,” Sedrik said. “We’re on our way.” He looked at her, but his expression was impossible to read.
“Was that Mintell?”
He nodded, then placed his hands on her shoulders. “Jim is conscious, so to speak. Mintell said very little of the damage was repairable. His body is not functioning on its own, but Mintell has agreed to keep Jim alive long enough to see if he’ll agree to a memory transfer. If you still want to see him, we have to go now.”
This would never feel real unless she saw him for herself. Rather than attempting to explain what she was feeling, she pushed her emotions across the transfer link and motioned toward the door. Sedrik led her out into the corridor, then she fell in step beside him. Her heart seemed to beat faster with each step they took.
Main medical looked more or less like a round emergency room, with curtained-off treatment areas and a common clerical station in the center. She only had time for an overall impression as Sedrik hurried her toward an adjacent room. The regeneration units were lined up against one wall. With transparent tops and an enclosed base, the machines were rather unimpressive, until one of the medics activated the control matrix. Like so many Rodyte devices, the regen-units interfaced with the user through a holographic display. The smooth, graceful movements of the medic’s hands were almost like a dance or sign language.
“That’s Dr. Mintell.” Sedrik pointed to an older male dressed in a gray-blue lab coat. His grim expression reinforced his dire diagnosis.
“Get right to the point,” Mintell quietly urged. “He’s deteriorating quickly.”
Rebecca shifted her gaze from the doctor to his patient and froze. Jim was so emaciated he was barely recognizable. It had been over a month since she’d escaped RF headquarters, but the changes in her ex-husband were still shocking.
Sedrik stood beside the tube and Jim’s bloodshot gaze focused on him. “Can you hear me?” Jim nodded. “I’d like to scan your memory. Do you understand what that means?”
“Hur-ry,” Jim’s voice sounded thick and inarticulate. “They’re. Com-ming.” His speech was stilted as if he fought for each word. A shiver raced down her spine as she realized that was likely exactly what was happening. Obviously what Sedrik told her was true. The Evonti had destroyed their spy rather than risk the battle born finding out what he knew.
Clearly confused by the statement, Sedrik looked at Mintell.
The doctor shook his head then moved to the other side of the tube. “You’re safe, Mr. Dayton. No one will harm you here.”
Jim ignored the doctor, keeping his focus on Sedrik. “Scaaan. Now.”
Sedrik closed his eyes, apparently satisfied that Jim was willing. Sedrik’s features blanked and Jim moaned, then his gaze shifted to Rebecca. He mouthed the word “Sorry” then shuddered and closed his eyes.
Her hand flew to her mouth. Had she just watched her tormentor die? Stunned, she looked at Mintell for conformation.
Compassion filled the doctor’s gaze. “He’s gone, miss. I’m sorry for your loss.”
Sedrik came out of his trance with a soft gasp. “I collected what I could, but his mind is—was horribly fragmented.”
“I’m not surprised.” Mintell activated the control matrix and triggered the tube’s privacy shield. “Those implants were woven through his brain like weeds. I’m more surprised that he was able to function at all.”
Sedrik rubbed the back of his neck and rolled his shoulders. The scan had been quick, but it had clearly taken a toll on him. “Were you able to ascertain the implants’ other functions?”
Mintell hesitated, his gaze shifting from Sedrik to Rebecca and back.
“She has more right to know how they affected him than any of us,” Sedrik pointed
out. “If you have information, speak up.”
“Yes, sir. It’s an educated guess, but I believe they were controlling him. And I don’t mean just ensuring that he did what they wanted. I mean literally taking him over and using him like a puppet.”
Rebecca stared at the doctor, torn between relief and bitterness. She had hated Jim for years, focused all her anger and bitterness on the person who hurt and humiliated her. Had her hatred been misplaced from the start? This was so confusing.
Sedrik slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. “A few of the impressions I picked up support your theory. I don’t think Jim has been in control for a very long time.”
They spoke for a few minutes more, but Rebecca was lost in memories. So often Jim had been calm, almost apologetic. She’d see flashes of the man she’d fallen in love with, then a switch would flip and the nightmare would resume.
“Are you all right?” Sedrik squeezed her gently, drawing her back from the past.
“I will be.” She managed to form a smile as she stubbornly blinked back tears. “This was just more overwhelming than I expected.”
“Understood.” He looked at Dr. Mintell and said, “I’m going to get Rebecca settled. Please update Tyrale.”
“Of course, sir.”
Sedrik thanked him, then led her back to their cabin. “Do you want to rest for a while? I can lie down with you until you fall asleep.”
She shook her head. “I’ll just wake up alone again. I need a distraction.”
Desire warmed his gaze, but he remained a few steps away. “I’ll be happy to distract you, but I need to update Garin and—” He glanced away from her, then muttered, “Hold on a second.”
His com-bots are just as annoying as a cell phone. The thought allowed her to smile and eased a bit of her gloom.
He spoke several sentences in Bilarrian. Her com-bots identified the language, but unless she agreed to more nanites, her setup only translated Rodyte to English and vice versa.
He turned his head and looked at her again. “It’s my mother. She’d like to speak with both of us. Are you up for a holo-com?”
Instinctively smoothing down her hair and adjusting the fall of her shirt, Rebecca nodded. She’d heard so much about Skyla Lux that she felt as if she knew her already.
“All right, Mom, I’m going to switch to holo.” He moved closer to Rebecca, then activated the holo-com.
A life-size image formed in front of them and Rebecca sucked in a breath. Adorned in a casual dress of muted blues and gold, Skyla was even more beautiful than Sedrik’s memories of her. Silver threaded through her dark hair, but her face had only faint lines around her eyes and mouth. And her eyes! Rebecca had never seen eyes so vivid a blue. They were ringed in red rather than purple or blue.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Rebecca said, feeling stupid for staring like a child.
Skyla smiled and warmth made her eyes shimmer. “I wish this were a simple introduction, but that’s not the reason I reached out. I had a vision a short time ago.”
“What did you see?” Suddenly Sedrik was intensely serious. He reached over and took Rebecca’s hand, entwining their fingers.
She looked up at him. Should she be bracing for bad news?
Skyla looked at Sedrik, her expression unreadable. “Everything you need is now in your mind, but you won’t be able to understand it without help.”
His gaze narrowed and he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Are you talking about the memories I just absorbed or something more esoteric?”
Skyla tilted her head, shooting him a challenging look. “Have you ever known me to be ‘esoteric’. I am always direct unless my visions make candor impossible.”
“I didn’t mean it as an insult, Mother. Did your vision tell you who I should turn to for help?” He sounded impatient now, even a bit argumentative.
“Why do you think I asked to speak with Rebecca?” She waved her son away. “Go back to work, grumpy bear. We females will figure this out.”
Releasing Rebecca’s hand, he crossed his arms over his chest. “I will not allow you to intimidate my mate.”
Skyla simply ignored him, obviously unimpressed with his “general” face. “Men can be so impatient,” she began with a conspirator’s smile for Rebecca. “Grumpy over there is like a sponge, he sucked up a bunch of random images. I trained him well, so he has the skills needed to sort through the memory stew. However, that could take much longer than you have. I don’t understand the specifics of the Evonti threat, but I definitely sense its escalation.”
“What do you need from me?” Rebecca asked, thrilled to be included yet dreading the answer.
“I don’t need anything. Your mate, however, needs you to go through the images with him. You will provide context, figure out if each image is important or not.”
“I will not put her through that again,” Sedrik insisted. “She has suffered enough.”
A lump formed in Rebecca’s throat, making it hard to swallow. She didn’t want to disappoint either of them, but she really didn’t want to relive her captivity. She’d just begun to heal, to believe that a happy ending might exist for her. When she’d shared memories with Sedrik before, they’d avoided the darker portions of her past.
“If you don’t do it together, you’ll fail.” The finality in Skyla’s voice spread tingles over Rebecca’s arms and the back of her neck. When Rebecca didn’t respond immediately, Skyla turned her intense gaze on the younger woman. “James Dayton is dead. He can never hurt you again. And you are much stronger than anyone allows you to believe, even yourself.”
All Rebecca could do was nod. She was still too tense to trust her voice.
“Lean on Sedrik,” Skyla advised, “that’s what he’s there for. But challenges must be met head-on.”
For a long, silent moment Skyla just stared at Rebecca. Then she smiled and turned back to her son. “You’ve chosen well. I see a long, bright future for you, your mate, and your children.”
Skyla’s image disappeared and Rebecca finally swallowed past the lump in her throat. “‘Children’? Did she say children? And how did she know about Jim? He’s only been dead a few minutes.”
“Her gift is very powerful.” He turned toward her and placed his hands on her shoulders, a pleased smile parting his lips. “And her visions are incredibly accurate. Even so, I will not pressure you to do anything. I understand how destructive those memories—”
She touched his lips with her fingers and shook her head. “Your mother is right. I can’t shy away from this challenge. Hiding in the corner with my tail tucked between my legs is the coward’s way out. I’m not a coward. Jim is dead, and I won’t be intimidated by the memories he left behind.”
Sedrik gazed at his lovely mate, awed by her courage and determination. “I will do everything in my power to avoid the hurtful memories,” he assured her, yet he wasn’t sure how effectively he’d be able to shield her. If they were going to interact with Jim’s memories, they would need the transfer link wide open. “You’ve just had a shock. Would you rather I come back in a few hours?”
“No.” She placed her hands on his chest and tilted her head back so she could see him. “That would just give me time to sit here and stress. I’d rather have it all behind me for good.”
Accepting her decision with a nod, he took her by the hand and led her to the sofa, but neither sat down. “We both need to relax and I still need to update Garin.”
“I’ll print us some wine while you check in,” she suggested.
“Perfect.” He raised her hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles. Then she headed for the nutri-gen while he requested a private link with Apex General Nox. Sedrik hadn’t indicated that his com was an emergency, so he wasn’t surprised when he was routed to Garin’s message center. By the time Sedrik left a detailed message for Garin and returned to the couch, Rebecca was waiting with their beverages.
They sat side by side and sipped the cool Bilarrian bl
ood wine. She looked at him over the rim of her wineglass. “I haven’t accepted your claim yet, so your mother is being presumptuous.”
“It’s a frequent fault with seers,” he countered lightly. Rebecca might not have officially accepted his claim, but she’d stopped objecting whenever someone referred to them as mates. They both knew it was only a matter of time.
“Do you want lots of children? We’ve never really talked about it before.” Even bringing the subject up was telling. She was moving closer and closer to surrender.
He took a long drink before he answered. “I’m not opposed to ‘lots of children’, if that’s what you want, but I’d prefer two or three.”
“Just like your family.” She paused for a sip as well, her expression soft and dreamy. “As a teen, I always imagined myself with a large family. I was an only child, so I wanted something different for my kids, something better.”
“As I said, I’m not opposed to the idea.” If she’d accept his claim, he’d give her whatever she needed to be happy. If that was a house full of children, he’d gladly provide them. “But I think we need to wait until the Evonti threat is neutralized before we start planning our future.”
Instantly, determination replaced her dreamy expression. “I agree. Your mother just caught me by surprise.”
“She’s good at that.” He quickly drained his glass and they both set them aside. “I’m not sure if that helped me relax or made me sleepy. Are you ready?”
“Not really, but I know this needs to be done.”
He pressed her hand between his as he dissolved the shields at both ends of the transfer link. Her emotions rolled into his mind. Agitated, chaotic, yet resolute, she was trying her hardest to meet this challenge head-on, as his mother had suggested. And he would try just as hard to protect her from the worst of the memories.
“Let’s start out slowly,” he suggested. “I’ll show you an image and you can simply tell me if it’s important, not important, or if you’re not sure.”
“That will work.” She snuggled closer to his side as they began.
He intentionally picked out images he suspected were incidental so they could establish a rhythm. It was unlikely that Jim would have done or said anything concerning the Evonti in front of Rebecca. Besides if she’d been there in the first place, she could just tell him what took place. By avoiding any situation containing Rebecca’s image, he was able to protect her from the worst of Jim’s memories.
Triumphant (Battle Born Book 14) Page 19