—
That night, Zo and I go swimming in the water below our house. We float on our backs, looking up at the stars, making slow circles with our arms, our legs.
“Are you ready?” she asks. “To leave the Bay, to go so far away for so long?”
I skim my hands across the surface of the ocean.
“I’m ready,” I say, and find that it’s true.
We stay in the water until our father calls us up for dinner. The three of us sit around the table, eating everything the garden has to offer, knowing that we won’t be together again like this for a very long time. I’m quiet for most of the meal, watching my family, trying to hold on to the sound of Zo’s laugh, the way my father’s eyes shine when he smiles.
“To Li,” says my father, lifting his glass. “For all you have accomplished.”
“To Li,” Zo echoes. She jumps up from her chair and runs into the kitchen.
“Where are you going?” I call after her.
“Stay there,” she calls over her shoulder. “Close your eyes.”
I put my hands over my face. I listen to her move around the kitchen, opening cabinets, slamming drawers, searching for something.
“Okay,” she says. “Open them.”
I pull my hands back and open my eyes. Zo stands in front of me, holding a plate of strawberries, each one with a flame sticking out.
“What is this?” I ask, confused.
“Candles!” she says. “They’re called candles. I made them myself.”
“What do they do?” I ask, watching as they flicker.
“Humans used them to celebrate important events. You make a wish and blow them out and then the wish comes true.”
I close my eyes and lean over the plate. I wish for my family to be happy and safe.
I take a breath and blow. The candles flicker and the flames go out.
“You’re sure this wish will come true?” I ask, looking up at Zo.
“Yes,” she says, smoke curling through the air.
We pass the plate around, the strawberries the size of our palms. They’re sweet and cold, and they stain the tips of our fingers red. For a moment, I forget everything that weighs on me. I can almost forget that at the end of this week, I’ll be far away from everyone I’ve ever loved. All that matters is that I’m here with my family.
For a little longer, we’re together on this Earth.
I stand in my underwear in the middle of my room, waiting for Mirabae to come over. We were supposed to get ready for the gala together, but now she’s not answering my beams.
“Beam Mirabae,” I call out again. The outline of her body appears before me, shining silver. It flashes over and over, but she doesn’t answer. I wait a few minutes then beam her again, but still she doesn’t pick up.
She’s ignoring me, I think uneasily. She must still be upset about not making squadron. The gala starts soon, though, and I haven’t even started to get ready for the night. She’ll meet us there, I tell myself hopefully. She just needs some time alone.
I walk to my closet and pull down the dress I’m going to wear, holding it out in front of me. The dress is gold, cut low in the front and open in back. I pull it over my head and down my body. It falls past my ankles to the floor. I slip bracelets onto my wrists, their gemstones catching the light.
I look over at the pack in the corner of my room. In only two days, I’ll get on an airship and fly to Penthna, far from everything I know. Penthna is all jungle, green and lush, filled with wild animals, and already I miss the ocean, with its salty, brackish water. I’ll miss the sound the tide makes as it comes rushing in.
The door holo flashes. My pulse quickens, my heart soars. I walk downstairs and open the door. Ryn stands before me, dressed in black pants and a white shirt, the sleeves rolled up. He smiles at me, and it looks like he captured the moonlight and kept it all to himself. His eyes trace the length of my body, moving slowly up to my face. He meets my eyes, stepping closer to me.
“You’re gorgeous,” he says, kissing my cheek.
We walk inside the house. My father stands in the door to his study, and Zo sits on the base of the stairs. Ryn walks over to my father and shakes his hand. He goes to Zo and sits down beside her, tapping his knee against hers.
“I wish I could go with you,” Zo sighs. “It’s going to be so amazing.”
“You’ll go next year,” Ryn says.
“Yeah, but it won’t be the same,” Zo says. “You’ll all be gone and I’ll have to go on my own, without my boyfriend.”
“Something tells me you’ll survive,” Ryn laughs.
“Li,” my father says. “Don’t stay out too late. I want you home at midnight.”
“How about I come back just after the sun rises? Or when the moon waxes high above the horizon?” I reply, smiling.
“I’m serious, Li,” he says, but he smiles back.
“I’ll be home by midnight,” I tell him. “I promise.”
I reach my hand to the door and press my palm to the glass. Ryn and I walk across the cliff, out into the world, the night unknown, still ours to hold.
* * *
—
The gala is held at the Celestial Plaza, a building made of glass with a winding staircase leading up to the doors. The walls inside are a deep blue, the ceiling covered with bulbs of light in the shape of the constellations. Music swells around us. The floor glows as we make our way across it. Ryn takes my hand and pulls me toward him, spinning me in circles, holding me close.
“I’m going to miss you so much,” I say quietly.
Ryn closes his eyes, pressing his lips together.
“Let’s not talk about leaving,” he says. “Not tonight.”
He leans down and kisses me softly.
“I’ll wait forever for you,” he whispers. For a moment, however brief, I believe in something like hope.
“Li, look,” he says, dropping his hands from my waist and pointing to the door. “There’s Mirabae.”
I follow his gaze across the room. Mirabae storms through the crowd, her eyes unfocused, gleaming. She comes up to us, swaying slightly.
“Mir,” I say. “What’s going on?”
She looks at me, but it’s as though she doesn’t see me at all. I realize she’s taken Kala and is in another world completely. I reach out to steady her. She shoves my hands away.
“It’s all your fault,” she says viciously. “Everything is a complete nightmare and it’s all because of you.”
“Mir, slow down,” I say. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
She laughs sharply, her eyes dark with anger.
“The sim,” she says. “If you hadn’t left me there to die, I would have made squadron. If you hadn’t been so selfish, if you’d had any idea how to lead a unit, I wouldn’t be going off to some half-empty ice planet, waiting to be killed for real.”
She stares at me, breathing hard. I take a step back from her, closer to Ryn.
“Mirabae, please,” I say, my voice wavering. “How can you say that?”
“Say what?” she hisses. “That you ruined the rest of my life?”
I open my mouth and try to speak, but no words come out.
“You know that’s not what happened,” Ryn says to her. “Everyone was defending their own sector. You were shot. Li had to protect the rest of the unit. She did the right thing.”
“Is that what you think?” Mirabae says. The strap of her purple dress slips off her shoulder. She doesn’t bother to fix it.
Ryn looks at Mirabae calmly. He keeps his voice low and even. “You don’t know that you would have placed into squadron even if you hadn’t gotten hit during the sim,” he says. “You can’t blame Li for any of this.”
“I do know,” she says. “I talked to Sethra after we got our placements. I begged her to see if there was anything that could be done, but once the rankings are set, there’s no changing them. She told me there was only one person ahead of me in the ranking for squadron.
One person.”
She moves closer to me, her expression shifting, her face dangerously calm.
“You wouldn’t understand that, though, would you, Li?” she says softly. “You wouldn’t know what it feels like to fail. You always get everything you want.”
“You don’t mean that,” I whisper.
She arches her eyebrows and crosses her arms over her chest. She stares me down without blinking and my heart splits in two.
“I wanted you to make squadron,” I say. “You’re my best friend, Mir. I would never do anything to hurt you.”
The music gets louder, the lights flash in slow motion. Around us, everyone jumps into the air, dancing wildly, as though nothing can keep them on this Earth.
Mirabae’s face falls. I reach out for her hand. She pushes me away.
“I don’t believe you,” she hisses. “Human scum.”
She turns around and runs off, shoving her way through the crowd. I watch as she stumbles out the doors, her hair gleaming in the moonlight.
I look at Ryn, who looks as shocked as I feel. He scans the people closest to us, trying to see if they’re watching us, if they heard.
Mirabae’s words repeat in my head, echoing through me, over and over.
“Li,” he says. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I say, but I feel my voice shake.
Ryn runs his hands through his hair. He bites his lip, looking at the doors, as though Mirabae could come back at any moment. Everything moves slowly, the world floating past.
“I think we should get out of here,” he says.
We walk across the room, the floor glowing beneath our feet. We’re almost to the doors when Braxon steps out in front of us.
“Leaving so soon?” he asks, looking me up and down. “You didn’t even save me a dance.”
“Back off, Braxon,” Ryn says, his voice dangerously quiet.
“Yeah?” Braxon says, cocking his head. “Are you going to stop me?”
Ryn steps forward, his muscles tensed. I step between them, placing my hand on Ryn’s chest.
“He’s not worth it, Ryn,” I say. “Let’s go.”
Ryn clenches his jaw, his fists, his whole body on edge. He puts his hand on my small of my back and I feel how it trembles. We walk out of the plaza, into the night. Braxon stands in the doorway, watching us go. The lights flash on, then off, and all I see is his outline in the darkness, a shadow, a ghost.
* * *
—
Ryn and I walk through the forest, the air heavy around us. I carry my shoes in my hands, my bare feet pressing into the dirt. I go over every moment of what happened at the gala. I hear Mirabae’s voice in my head, her words cutting through me, over and over. Ryn stops walking. He reaches up and holds his hand to my cheek.
“It will all be okay,” he says. “You’ll talk to her tomorrow and everything will be fine.”
I smile at him, but I truly don’t know if things can be mended between Mirabae and me. Her words echo in my head, so full of hate, and I know something has changed.
“Let me walk you home?” he says, but I shake my head.
“I need to be alone right now,” I say, lifting myself up on my toes to kiss him.
I start walking toward home, then stop, realizing I don’t want to be there, not yet. I turn around and walk back through the forest, heading to the cliffs, the only place I can think to go where I can clear my mind.
I walk up the cliffs, stepping through the trees. I sit on the ground, dropping my shoes down beside me, tucking my dress around my knees. I think about the years Mirabae and I spent here, starting when we were eleven, just old enough to be out on our own. We spent hours here, entire days at a time, picking flowers and collecting stones, the world magical, ours to share.
Maybe she’s right, I think. Maybe this is all my fault. I should have tried harder to save her. Her despair presses down on me, so thick I can barely breathe.
Behind me, the leaves rustle, and I stand up, my heart swelling, sure that Mirabae is about to step through the trees. The figure in front of me is a shadow, covered in darkness, and then it steps into the light.
Braxon stares down at me, his eyes glittering. His shirt is unbuttoned halfway down his chest, untucked and wrinkled.
“Waiting for someone?” he asks.
“B-Braxon,” I stutter. “No, I just…I didn’t expect to see you here.”
He takes a step forward. I take a step back.
“Look,” I say. “I’m sorry you didn’t make officer. I know you must be really disappointed.”
He laughs under his breath.
“You’re sorry, are you?” he says quietly. Fog rolls off the water below, curling around us like smoke.
“Yes,” I say. “I am.”
“You know what, Li?” he says. “I don’t think you are sorry. I think you failed our practice sim on purpose so I couldn’t get ahead. I think you did everything you could to make sure you got officer instead of me.”
He steps forward and grabs my wrists, bending them back. My bracelets dig into my skin and I cry out.
“Let go of me, Braxon,” I hiss, trying to keep my voice calm, but he just holds me tighter.
“You think you’re so much better than everyone,” he sneers. “You think you’re so much better than me. But you know what? You’re not.”
He pulls me forward, crushing his body against mine.
“Braxon, stop,” I say, panic rising within me in waves.
He grabs my jaw, shoving his mouth over mine. His teeth catch my lip, drawing blood. He shoves me to the ground, tearing at my dress. I twist away, but he catches my waist and drags me back to him, pushing himself over me, twisting my arms above my head. I lunge up, trying to escape, then he wraps his hands around my neck.
His eyes flicker with hatred, sharp and pure. He leans over me, pressing his thumbs into the hollow of my throat. He brings his face close to mine and whispers in my ear.
“I know what you’ve been hiding,” he breathes. “I know exactly what you are.”
Cold, hard fear runs through my body. I stare up at him, my blood pushing its way roughly through my veins. He runs his hand down my cheek, down my neck.
“You should really tell your best friend not to shout out other people’s secrets.”
I rear my head off the ground and slam it against his. I hear the bones in his nose break, I feel them crack against mine. He brings his hands up to his face, wiping away the blood that drips into his mouth.
“You dirty human,” he spits. “You thought you could beat me.”
He grabs my shoulders and slams me down. My neck snaps back; my skull smacks against the ground.
“Braxon, no, please,” I beg, but he doesn’t stop.
“You’re nothing,” he hisses, slamming my head back again. “You’re worse than nothing. I’ll tell everyone and you’ll be killed, just like the rest of your species.”
He wraps his hands around my neck and presses down, his fingers digging into my skin. My whole body thrashes, my arms flail against the ground. Panic buzzes in my brain, a low, frantic hum. He’s going to kill me, I think. This, right here, is how I’m going to die.
I reach out behind me, my hand closing on something solid, a branch fallen from the trees. I grab it and lift it high above Braxon’s head, smashing it across his neck. I hit him again and the wood splinters. A shard slices into his neck, piercing his throat. He pulls in a rasping breath, his eyes blank, blood rattling in his lungs. He collapses onto me. He doesn’t move. He doesn’t breathe.
He’s dead.
I crawl out from under Braxon’s body and push myself to my feet. I look at him, lying in the dirt. I look down at what I’ve done.
No, I think, my heart pounding in my chest. This can’t be happening.
I lower my fingers to his wrist, checking for a pulse, for any sign of life, but his heart has stopped beating. Already his skin is tinged blue, already the blood has stopped pumping through his veins. His ey
es are open, clouded over, staring up at me accusingly. I slide my fingers over his eyelids, pulling them closed.
I have to do something, I think frantically. I can’t leave him here like this. I bend down and wrap my hands around his wrists. I drag him across the ground, over to the edge of the cliff. His arms are stiff, his body heavy. A long line of blood seeps out behind us. I don’t stop, I don’t think, I barely even breathe.
I lift his body up to mine, holding him to my chest. These must be someone else’s arms around him, someone else’s hands. This must be someone other than me.
The moon is full in the sky, and its light spills over us. The only sound is the crashing waves, the echo of my ragged breath. I heave Braxon’s body off the cliff and watch as he flies through the air. He sinks into the water, his arms floating above his head, as though he’s waving goodbye.
I collapse onto the ground, digging my fingers into the dirt. I look up at the sky, the weight of what I’ve done settling around me. I listen for the sound of another person approaching, but all I hear is silence ringing in my ears.
Someone could come by at any moment, Ryn or Mirabae or anyone else, and I have no way to explain why I’m covered in blood, why I’m shaking so fiercely. I have to get out of here, now. I pick up the branch and throw it into the water. I smooth out the tracks in the dirt until Braxon’s blood disappears, until it looks like no one was here at all.
I hold up my dress and run down the cliffs, my heart racing fiercely. The waves crash over the shore, the tide rushing relentlessly in. I don’t stop running until I’m home. I climb the stairs slowly, careful not to make any sound at all. I go into my room. Zo is asleep in my bed, her back to me. She stirs when I come in but she doesn’t wake up. I stand at the window, staring past my reflection, so I don’t have to look myself in the eye.
I pull off my dress, shoving it into the back of a drawer. I bathe, washing the dirt and blood away. I’m still shaking when I climb into bed next to Zo. She turns over, waking up slowly, rubbing her hands across her eyes.
“Li,” she says sleepily. “Where have you been?”
“With Ryn,” I say. “At the gala.”
The Last Girl on Earth Page 14