“Are you really okay, Carl?”
“Sure, Kina, it really only winged me, not a big deal. Besides, you know I have a hard head.”
Kina tried to joke with him, “Impressive you didn’t drop the camera!”
Carl mock bowed and tipped an imaginary hat in her direction.
They all laughed. It actuallywas amazing he hadn’t stopped filming.
Kina sat back and let the conversation and good natured ribbing continue around her. She looked over at Jonathan for the first time since they’d climbed into the car. She didn’t know what she expected him to say, but she never thought he’d make light of the situation.
“Would you rather be hit by a flying axe or a flying hammer?”
She didn’t want to laugh, truly she didn’t, the situation wasn’t funny in the least, but she couldn’t help it. Dammit. Why’d he have to be funny on top of everything else?
“Ha, ha, very funny, twinkle toes.” At his smile she continued. “How’d you know that thing was coming at you since you were watching only through the camera lens?”
Jeff sat sideways and put his elbow on the back of his seat. “Yeah, that was actually pretty impressive, Baker.”
Jonathan waved his hand as if waving off any kind of praise. “I saw him trying to grip the handle on the few swings he took before that one. He was losing his grip on every swing; I figured it was only a matter of time. I was already planning on moving to a different vantage point when he let it fly. I guess I was just lucky.”
“Damn lucky, if you ask me,” Taylor called back from the front seat. Kina had to agree.
When they got back to the hotel, Jonathan waited until the others had left to go up to their rooms. He lightly grasped Kina’s elbow and asked. “Want to do something today?”
“I thought you were going to let me be in charge?” she told him teasingly.
Jonathan grinned. God, she was cute. “Okay, so what do you want to do for the rest of the day?”
Kina laughed. How he ever thought he’d be able to let her make all the decisions she’d never know. “What did you have in mind?” She knew he had to have something up his sleeve or he wouldn’t have asked her.
“What about the Alaska Native Heritage Center?”
Kina didn’t know what to say. She thought he might say the name of another restaurant or something. She never thought he’d be into something educational. She blushed. She’d stereotyped him, and she didn’t like that about herself.
“Sure, sounds interesting.”
As Jonathan pulled the keys out of pocket, Kina looked at him. She smirked; he’d had it planned the entire time. The rat.
As if Jonathan knew what she was thinking, he said, “I asked Taylor for them earlier. He said he didn’t mind if we took the car again today. He said he was going to call home and then take a nap.”
Jonathan settled Kina into the front passenger seat and once again handed her the seatbelt. Kina loved it.
When they were on the road to the Heritage Center she asked him why he’d chosen it.
“I just thought if we were going to spend six weeks in Alaska, I’d like to get to know more about the culture of the people and the history. It’s fascinating to me how the Eskimos and Native people have lived for hundreds of years, doing things the same way, passed down from generation to generation. I thought we’d get an appreciation of the Native people and their traditions and history of the state.”
“I’d like that.” Jonathan was a lot deeper than Kina had ever given him credit for. He was like an onion, the layers just kept peeling off one by one, revealing more and more of the man underneath. She was liking what she’d seen so far.
Jonathan parked the SUV and they strolled into the Center, hand in hand. Kina didn’t even hesitate to grasp his hand when he held it out to her as he helped her from the car. Holding his hand was almost as natural as breathing. She didn’t even try to think about how fast he’d become important to her. She just accepted it, and hoped like hell he wouldn’t break her heart. He’d just started to thaw it out, she didn’t want to imagine what would happen if he broke her trust now.
They walked around and checked out the different exhibits. There were a lot of fun things for kids to do. There were traditional dances that were held at the center as well, but none were being performed that day. It didn’t matter. They were enjoying just being with each other and learning about a different way of life and culture. Talk eventually turned to work.
“What do you think of the show?” Jonathan asked Kina. “You were with Eddie in Australia. Do you think he’s changed at all?”
Kina thought about it before answering. “Yes and no. Yes, this show is different in that Eddie isn’t trying to hook anyone up. I think he learned his lesson from Arizona. But I also think he’s still Eddie. He’ll still try to manipulate anyone he can in order to make the show a success. He has even more to lose now after not being able to air the Arizona show.”
She paused. Not knowing if it was really appropriate to ask her next question, but she remembered what Jonathan had said at dinner, that he’d tell her the truth if he could. She figured if he didn’t want to answer, he’d tell her. “Can I ask you something?”
He didn’t hesitate to reassure her. “Of course hon, anything.”
“How is Becky doing? I feel so horrible about what happened to her back in Arizona. I had no idea those guys would attack her at the hotel. I was in the limo when she was dropped off. I just feel like maybe I should’ve done something…” Her voice trailed off.
Jonathan stopped their stroll and pulled her over to a bench against a wall. They sat and he put their clasped hands on his thigh and put his other hand over the two of theirs. “She’s okay, Kina. She’s been seeing a therapist and working through her issues. She and Dean are so in love, it’s almost sickening.” He said that with a smile so she’d know he was kidding. His voice got serious again. “Remember how I told you I don’t sleep well? That I get nightmares?” At her nod he continued. “It’s because of what happened to her. I should have stopped it. I had every chance and I didn’t.”
“I don’t believe that,” Kina said without even asking what he meant. “Seriously, Jonathan, I don’t know how you think you could’ve done anything, but I know without a doubt you did everything right that night. You couldn’t have done anything differently.”
Jonathan gave her a sad smile. “Thanks hon, but you don’t know…”
Before he could continue Kina interrupted him. “Ido know. Jonathan, my God, there’s no way you’d have let anyone get hurt on your watch. You need to let this go.”
“I can’t,” he said simply.
“Have you talked to someone about this?” Kina asked him seriously. “I know most men think they’re too macho to need any help getting through horrible things that happen to them, but it sounds as if you need to talk it through.”
At his shake of his head she said boldly, “I’m here if you want to talk to me about it.”
Jonathan grasped their hands tighter and bowed his head. “I’m afraid if I tell you what happened, you’ll not want to see me anymore.”
Holy crap. Kina hadn’t ever seen that kind of deep honest emotion from a man. Kina pulled their clasped hands up to her mouth and kissed his knuckles. “I might not know you that well, Jonathan, but I do know you’re one of the good guys. You didn’t hurt Becky. You didn’t cause her to be hurt. Some idiots did that all on their own. Hell, you won’t even let some guy say jerky things to me and you don’t even really know me. There’s no way you’d stand aside and let someone your brother loved get hurt. I’d love for you to talk to me. I’d love for you to tell me everything. If you think I’ll turn my back on you, I’ll prove you wrong. I don’t think this is the time or the place, but maybe once we get to know each other better, you’ll trust me.”
Jonathan’s eyed glowed as he looked at her. “Believe it or not, I do trust you, Kina. I trust you more than I trust myself. I’ll tell you, but you’re
right, not now. Will you take a rain check?”
Kina simply nodded, too choked up with emotion to talk. She’d never had a guy open himself up to her like Jonathan just had. Every boyfriend she’d ever had was a macho jerk who never really allowed her in, emotionally. She hadn’t really known Jonathan that long and he’d already opened himself up more to her than anyone ever had before. She really hoped he was serious.
They continued making their way through the Heritage Center. It was an amazing place and Kina hoped one day to be able to come back and see some of the demonstrations. It was a small glimpse into a fascinating culture.
As they walked out of the building toward the car, Kina asked Jonathan, “Would you rather be stuck for five hours in an elevator or on a ski lift?” Thus began their hilarious trip back to the hotel.
Chapter Six
Jonathan thought this was one of the most boring shoots he’d ever been on, but that actually worked in his favor with Kina, because it made her more willing to talk to him as well as giving them more time to talk to each other. Since there was no competition on the show, other than the actual contests, the men had been quite well-behaved. As much as Jonathan hated the drama of men fighting for women or men competing for a woman’s attention that always happened on dating shows, at least it was interesting for the camera operators. There was always someone and something interesting to film.
This was torture. All that happened between contests was everyone sitting around. Jonathan had heard rumors that Eddie was trying to speed up production and he was all for it. The sooner they got done here, the sooner he could go home and start his new career.
The only problem with that,was Kina. He wanted more time with her. He wanted more time for her to get to know him. She was hisOne. If Jonathan didn’t break through her emotional barriers before they left Alaska, he didn’t know if he’d ever get a chance to. He wanted her. He wanted her more than anything he’d ever wanted in his life. All the other women he’d known paled in comparison to Kina. It wasn’t just her looks, although she was beautiful to him, it was her. Her larger-than-life personality, her zest for life, and just her all-around demeanor.
He loved that she’d taken right to the silly game of ‘Would you rather.’ Some of the best times they’d had, had been a result of the answers and conversations they’d had over the questions they’d come up with. He didn’t want to lose her. He knew he had to talk to her about what had happened in Arizona, but he was honest when he told her he was scared of losing her. Even though Becky had told him time and time again that she didn’t blame him, he blamed himself. He wasn’t sure he could get over it. He was trying, but it was difficult.
There were only six men left on the show. The last contest had been a few days prior. The men had been challenged to see how many fish they could catch in a net. The catch was that they were in a stream that was freezing. It wasn’t like they could just stand on the bank and fish, either. No, they had to get right out in the middle of the fast-moving water and catch as many fish as possible. As far as ‘extreme’ went, it wasn’t very, but Jonathan knew Eddie was saving the harder challenges for the upcoming competitions. Slade and Grant were the last two men to be sent packing. They’d caught the least number of fish and were currently thanking their lucky stars that they were sitting in nice warm hotel rooms, waiting out the rest of the show.
This next contest was the first one where the contestants would be “roughing” it outside overnight, and thus, the first time the camera operators would also be roughing it. Jonathan was worried about who would be paired up. He desperately wanted Eddie to put him and Kina together, but he also didn’t want Kina to think he’d put Eddie up to it. He wouldn’t protest if they weren’t together, only if Kina was paired with Jeff. He didn’t trust Jeff as far as he could throw him. He’d been behaving after their altercation in the hallway, but he’d learned from those jerks on the Arizona show never to underestimate someone’s need for revenge. No matter how pissed Kina got with him, he wouldn’t allow her to spend the night out in the wilderness with Jeff.
Eddie wanted to have a meeting with all the camera crew before they were sent off. He wanted to explain the rules of the contest to everyone. He figured the camera operators could act as the ‘officials’ so no one would cheat.
“Here’s how it’s going to work. We’ll be in the Chugach National Forest. There’s a lake there called Eagle Lake. The men will be paired off around the lake. They shouldn’t cross paths, but everyone will be in one general location. There are only five of you, so we’ll split up into pairs and then there will be only one of you with one of the groups of contestants.” He shrugged. “That’s just the way it has to be.”
When no one disagreed with him or otherwise protested, Eddie continued.
“The men will be given basic provisions, flint, an emergency blanket, an axe, one MRE for the two of them, and one extra pair of socks. We’ll set them up with some cold weather gear before they head out, jackets, long underwear, etc. They’ll be expected to set up camp and be out for three days and two nights. In a few hours, we’ll drop everyone off and pick them up around noon on the third day. Their task will be to build a raft they’ll have to actually use. When we come to pick them up they’ll have to demonstrate their raft floats by paddling out three hundred yards into the lake, then turn around and come back to their campsite. Whoever builds the least water-worthy raft, or if they can’t paddle the six hundred yards, will be going home. If more than one group can’t make it the entire way, whichever group goes the shortest distance will be leaving.
“Your jobs, as constant observers, will be to make sure there’s no cheating going on. You’ll all be equipped with a radio just in case. You’ll each have your own tent and provisions. No fires, though. Only the contestants are allowed to start a fire. If you light a fire the men might be tempted to use it instead of building their own. This is about them, not about you. And another thing…I don’t want anyone getting hurt, is that clear? If these pussies can’t handle the weather and get frostbite or if they cut off a limb, contact me immediately. If they just want to quit, too bad. They can’t. That makes for great TV. People love to watch men, who think they’re tough, be miserable and whiny. We haven’t had enough of that on the show yet. Everyone understand?”
Jonathan shook his head. Man, Eddie was a jerk. He wondered how the man had made it this far in his career, but he supposed you had to be heartless to be a producer of reality shows.
Eddie continued. “Okay, so I’ve decided who will be with who.”
Jonathan held his breath. He really hoped he didn’t have to get all macho alpha in front of Kina.
“Jeff, you and Carl will be with Trent and Ian.”
Jonathan let out his breath. Thank God. He could live with wherever Eddie put him now.
“Jonathan and Kina will be with Roger and Darius, and Taylor, you’ll be by yourself with Benedict and Nash. Anyone have any problems with that? Taylor, you all right with being on your own?”
Taylor nodded, as everyone expected he would.
“Okay, you’ll all be given a small tent and a sleeping bag to stay in while out there. There is, of course, no sharing those with the contestants. They have to figure out how to stay warm on their own. If you run into any situations out there, as I said, just use the radio to call back. For the next hour we’ll be getting the men outfitted in their gear and you all can meet back here for Shannel to explain the contest to the men and we’ll get headed out.
Jonathan was thrilled he’d be spending the next two nights with Kina. He couldn’t have planned it better himself. He sensed someone coming up to stand next to him and turned to see Kina standing there, looking furious.
“What the hell?” She hissed at him. “Did you set this all up? Did you go to Eddie and tell him you were trying to get me in bed and to put us together?”
“Hang on, Kina. I didn’t say anything to Eddie about us. What’s happening between us is just that, between us. I’dnever dis
respect you that way.”
Jonathan watched as Kina’s breath heaved in and out of her chest. God, she was magnificent. He wished she hadn’t immediately thought the worst of him, but he couldn’t deny she was glorious when she was worked up. He tried again to soothe her when she didn’t say anything. He stepped closer to her and was thrilled when she didn’t take a step back. Whether she’d admit it or not, she was beginning to trust him on some level.
“I’d never do anything to jeopardize your career. I know how important it is for you to be seen as ‘one of the guys.’ Unless your safety was at stake, I’d never go behind your back. But just so you know, full disclosure and all that, if Eddie had tried to pair you with Jeff, I would’ve said something. There’s no way I’d have you suffer two days with him.”
He waited for the explosion. He was amazed when his words seemed to have the opposite effect on her.
Kina tried to bring herself under control. She knew Jonathan wouldn’t go behind her back and ask to be paired with her just to get her in bed. She’d just automatically been a bitch to him, it was what she usually did. She didn’t know how she knew he wouldn’t try to set her up that way, but she knew it. He’d had plenty of times to make a move and he still hadn’t evenkissed her. Kina tried not to be upset about that. She knew Jonathan expected her to be upset with him for saying what he had about Jeff, but the truth was that she would’ve gone to Eddie herself and asked to be reassigned if he’d put Jeff with her. So she couldn’t get mad that Jonathan would’ve done the same thing.
She brought her hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. “Crap. I’m sorry. That was bitchy of me to think, let alone say. I know you wouldn’t have done that. I wasn’t thinking.”
Jonathan put his hand under her chin and watched as she opened her eyes and looked into his. “It’s okay, hon. I don’t know half the things you’ve probably gone through in your career to get where you are. I know most men in this industry are sexist. Just know I’ve got your back. And thanks for not being mad about the Jeff thing.”
Frozen Hearts (Beyond Reality Book 3) Page 5