by Arden, Mari
I glance up, but no one other than Nymphora watches me. She's giving me an I-told-you-so look, and I clench my teeth. I need to be noticed now, more than ever. Boldly, I walk straight to the red haired guard, whom I'm almost positive is the one in command.
"Excuse me." I attempt to make my voice thick and husky. I point to a scarlet dress. "May I have one," I gulp, "H-honey?"
He's looking at me in utter shock, and for a moment I feel like his mouth is going to stay open from pure astonishment. His cheeks flush, and he bites his lower lip. Something in his eyes glint, and he blinks, hiding it before I can understand it.
"Yes," he says, swallowing hard. He looks a little embarrassed. He's taken off guard, and it's making him speechless. For some reason that knowledge makes me more confident.
I edge closer. Ancient womanly instinct kicks in, and I lock my eyes with his. I have no idea what I'm doing, and the whole time I'm acting this out, another part of me is cringing, wanting to hide under a rock. But I don't back down. I keep my gaze level with his.
I stand tall.
He catches his breath, staring at me, and for the second time in my life I wonder what a man sees when he looks at me.
"Here," he finally says. He hands me the cloth, careful not to touch my fingers. I'm clutching the towel to my chest, and I see his eyes glance there quickly, before he looks into mine.
"Go change."
I hold the dress limply in my arms.
Swiftly, he gives me his back. "Boys," he calls out, his deep voice rumbling in the quiet room. The other two guards look up. One looks slightly annoyed at being interrupted. When he has their attention, he says, "You two go ahead. I've got it here."
"You sure? I don't mind staying longer," the one who looks the most annoyed offers. His eyes never stop moving, staring at us in a way that unnerves me.
"Yes," the red haired guard replies, his voice hard. I see his shoulders stiffen ahead of me. "Go." The command is harsh. "Now!" The two walk off, sending irritated glances back, but they don't argue.
He doesn't look back to acknowledge me as he walks to the entrance. Even though I'm left standing alone, I don't feel rejected. I can't describe the feeling coursing through my blood, but it's something powerful. I glance at Nymphora, who's looking at me with a slightly awed expression.
I hide a secret smile.
It's quiet for the rest of the time we're there; but this time the quiet isn't one filled with fear. At one point, it even feels calm. I keep my eyes trained on the Saguinox guard as I disrobe, but he never turns back to stare at us. Not even once.
I think about what Nymphora said about how like humans, shape shifters are all different, and I begin to wonder if the same can be said about the Saguinox. Rhys's golden eyes flash in my mind. A flutter runs through me.
Without thinking my mind calls out, Rhys?
As soon as I say his name, I want to take it back. I don't know what he can do in my head, and I'm scared he might see what Nymphora and I did. I wait with rising panic, but I don't feel his presence in my mind. A minute passes by, and still, I don't sense anything. Strangely, I'm relieved and disappointed at the same time.
I'm one of the last to enter the lines. I walk behind Nymphora like I've done since yesterday. Looking at the floor, I notice faint swirling designs. It's obvious that this place was built with care, yet one hundred feet over these halls is a gloomy and rundown prison. I mentally shake my head again at the paradox of our situation. It must have something to do with the Saguinox culture, I think. Cleanliness and beauty before an ultimate gruesome death, I conclude. A chill washes over me that has nothing to do with the thin shift I'm wearing.
Abruptly, I feel hot hands grabbing mine. Chloris grips my fingers, squeezing them before letting go. I gaze at her with surprise. She's breaking an unspoken rule: never leave your spot in line. She pulls the girl in back of her to the front, and she's so surprised she doesn't resist. Then Chloris is beside me, breathless and nervous.
Her eyes are wide, and tremulous when she says, "We're getting out of here tonight."
Chapter 20
I'm dreaming.
I know I am because I'm wearing pants. They're soft and silky, and not the least bit red. Tumbling birds decorate it, and I'm reminded of home. A warm bed. A fast meal. Dad.
I'm on a beach. And even in my dreams I'm a bit embarrassed to be walking in my pajamas on a beach. The waves are soft and gentle, only loud enough to make me feel less alone. Oddly, I'm not cold even though my spaghetti strap tank top is too thin for this weather.
At first it looks a little gray like my mood. The clouds are dim, and leaves from nearby trees look dark, like they've been rained on. The feeling of a calm before the storm comes over me, and I shudder, not liking the serenity anymore.
I stop to sit on a small sand dune that appears beside me. It's as if the sand anticipates what I want and supplies it before I can even ask. When my body touches the grains, they slide over me, lightly covering my body like a blanket. I sigh. I can get used to this, I think with a wide smile. Leaning back, I rest my head on perfect grains of sand. Unexpectedly, the sun peeks through the clouds, valiantly pushing through, until a golden beam swathes me with a circle of warmth. I feel so good my toes curl inward, digging in as deep as they can. I watch the waves play with each other, and my giggle rings out when I notice the color: clear. Completely, and brilliantly clear.
Standing, I brush soft pebbles from my body before running to touch the ocean. It licks at me, teasing me with just the right touch of cool. I make a cup with my hands, then pause as a thought unfurls inside my head. Is this safe to drink? Impulsively, I take a sip, and I'm glad I do because it's as cool and refreshing as it looks, not salty at all. I wasn't thirsty before, but I'm ravenous now. I lap at the water like I'm a puppy, and the picture in my mind is so ridiculous that I laugh and laugh until my insides hurt.
"This is a silly dream," I whisper to myself.
I hear my mom's voice in my head. "Silly dreams are the best."
Her voice echoes from my memories, and the usual pang of hurt grips my heart. I let my body drift into the ocean, walking further in.
Amazed, I take in the sight greedily. The water is so clear it's invisible, and I can see through it to the ocean floor. It's white, completely pristine, and devoid of any filth. A killer whale swims by, his dorsal fin two feet above the surface. He circles me, swimming lazily around. I should be scared, but I'm not. He's a gentle giant, and I beckon him closer. When he comes he nudges my feet. I touch his wet skin, marveling at how firm it is. Crouching lower, I peer through the invisible surface as his wide face continues to nuzzle my ankle. Then he makes a little sound and moves away, lazily circling me again. I watch him for many minutes.
Suddenly I feel a tingling sensation down the back of my neck.
"Of all the dreams of all the creatures in all the galaxy, you had to walk into mine."
My heart leaps with excitement. I shouldn't feel happy, but I can't stop the eager breath escaping my lips. When I turn he's watching me, and there's a relaxed smile on his face I've never seen before. I wonder if I have the same smile on my face because he's looking at me as intently as I am looking at him.
"Is this your dream?" I ask, unable to mask my happiness.
He looks adorable when he glances at me. He points to the whale swimming further from us. "Yes, but its turned into a joint effort."
I'm not sure what he means by that, but I don't care. I open my arms wide because I want to hold the ocean, the sand, and the whole world in my lap. I close my eyes and say, "I think we did a pretty good job then."
He moves until he's behind me. "I think so, too."
His breath is near my neck, and I turn around. Instantly, I'm greeted by Rhys's broad chest. In that second I realize he's not wearing what he usually has on. Instead, a white buttoned up shirt is covering his tan body. He leaves a few buttons casually open, and I see a slice of golden skin. Dark shorts go past his knees, and his feet are ba
re. He looks casual, and very sexy. He can hear my thoughts, and his grin broadens.
I'm too happy to be embarrassed. That's another reason I know this is a dream. I point to my Angry Bird pajamas. "I seemed to have missed the memo about the dress code."
"No worries," he says, flashing another white grin. His smiles are making me delirious, and everything seems to glow brighter and become fuzzier at the same time. I hear soft rustling, and cool air brushes my body before something gentle touches my skin. Looking down I see a long flowing dress. It's red, and the wind picks up the tail of the dress, blowing it and my hair behind me.
"You're so beautiful," Rhys says, his voice thick with everything he feels. His gaze is so tender that I'm hypnotized by it. I feel so happy my heart wants to burst with joy. The red cloth is blowing all around me, and even though he's looking at me like I'm the most exquisite woman on earth, my lungs are having trouble breathing.
"Rhys," I choke out. "Not red. Please, not red."
A look of concern and a flash of guilt cross his face and he says, "I understand." He holds out his hands to me.
"Think of a beautiful color," he whispers to me.
I let him take my hand, and when our palms touch the breeze picks up. A quiet rustling sound is heard, but our eyes never leave each other. His other hand circles my waist. He shoots me another devastating smile, his black hair perfect in the light. He looks down at what I'm wearing.
"Gold?"
"Golden eyes." He looks so sweetly at me I wrap my arms around his neck. I fit his body perfectly, and my gold dress is shining, shimmering as bright as his eyes. We're swaying in the breeze, dancing as the waves play around us. Questions swim in my head, and I know it's important I find the answers, but I bat them away like flies. For once I'm not thinking about escape and staying alive. I am happy, carefree and filled with joy.
"I used to come here when I was a little kid," he tells me. I watch his mouth move, and I continue to even when he catches me. He looks amused.
Dreams are a safe place for doing anything I want.
"Armin and I would sneak off when we could. We didn't do much, just laid around, sleeping. But this place holds some of my best memories."
"I can see why," I say, pointing to the sand. "We need something like that on Earth. It's like they're alive. They moved over me like ants!"
"The particles have a magnetic pull to blood."
I laugh. "That makes absolutely no sense! Blood doesn't contain magnetic properties," I inform him. "Even I know that and I'm a C average in science."
"Now that makes no sense." It's his turn to point out. "You get graded with letters. How do you know how to improve? The letters tell you nothing," he dismisses in his sexy accent.
"How do they grade you in Sangine?" I ask.
His grip tightens on me. "You probably wouldn't like it," is all he says. His lips thin and I know we're talking too much about reality, so I lay my head on his shoulders, listening to his gentle heartbeat.
"You're really very handsome," I finally whisper to his chest.
"And you're really very beautiful," he whispers to my hair.
"Is that why you took me?" The question slips before I can halt it.
Hot and cold. Right now he's all hot. I don't want him to turn cold. He's already sighing when I say, "Don't answer that."
"No," he says quietly near my ear. "That's not why I took you. I had no choice, Kenna. I'm wasn't born with freedom the way you were." His voice is filled with such sadness and longing I shut my eyes.
"Let's not talk about this anymore," I whisper.
We move together in a circle, swaying with the water. Slowly doubt creeps into my thoughts: about who he is, what he's done, and why he's sentenced me to die. I hum loudly to cover the noise in my head, and he seems to sense my distress. He hugs me tighter into his chest, breathing in my scent like a starving man.
"I'll make everything better." It's a lie. He can't. I know he can't. He knows it, too. But I nod anyway.
Soon, much too soon, I notice the sunshine waning and growing dimmer. I force myself to step back from him. I gaze into his eyes, trying to memorize the myriad of colors shimmering inside.
"Rhys," I breathe. I don't know what to say, or how to express what I feel. That one word seems to be enough though because he smiles.
"Kenna, you're stronger than you think you are." He holds my face in his hands. "You're special. You're a survivor." He looks deep into my eyes. "Even when everything burns you won't."
Goosebumps rise across my skin. I shiver from his words.
"When I wake up am I going to forget all this?" I suddenly ask him, desperate to know.
He gives me a sexy smile. "No."
Relieved, I grin back, unable to resist him. "So none of this is real?"
"Nope." He's laughing at me.
I pull his face closer to mine. "So none of this is real, and when I wake up I'll remember everything," I repeat softly, my mouth a breath away from his. Suddenly, he's looking at me with intensity and hunger. I think about where we're at and I know it isn't really paradise. I feel his arms around me, and his clean masculine scent drifts through my nose and into my heart. This is paradise. I lean over, and touch my lips with his.
We meet in the middle. As far as first kisses go this is the best one I've ever had. He's soft and hard at the same time. His lips taste as fresh and crisp as the water pooling around us.
When I finally pull back, we stare at each other, breathless. "So when do we get to do that again?" I ask, again, unable to stop myself. He laughs, noticing what a truly impulsive person I am.
All he says is, "In your dreams."
I attempt to frown at him, but a smile is touching my lips.
Then the sky breaks open with a roar, scaring me. It sounds like thunder when the clouds part. The waves greet this noise with their own loud applause, smashing into each other like giants. I can't hear my own thoughts. I clutch him tighter.
He gives me the saddest look I've ever seen, before he's gone, vanished from my dreams.
Chapter 20
I'm dreaming.
I know I am because I'm wearing pants. They're soft and silky, and not the least bit red. Tumbling birds decorate it, and I'm reminded of home. A warm bed. A fast meal. Dad.
I'm on a beach. And even in my dreams I'm a bit embarrassed to be walking in my pajamas on a beach. The waves are soft and gentle, only loud enough to make me feel less alone. Oddly, I'm not cold even though my spaghetti strap tank top is too thin for this weather.
At first it looks a little gray like my mood. The clouds are dim, and leaves from nearby trees look dark, like they've been rained on. The feeling of a calm before the storm comes over me, and I shudder, not liking the serenity anymore.
I stop to sit on a small sand dune that appears beside me. It's as if the sand anticipates what I want and supplies it before I can even ask. When my body touches the grains, they slide over me, lightly covering my body like a blanket. I sigh. I can get used to this, I think with a wide smile. Leaning back, I rest my head on perfect grains of sand. Unexpectedly, the sun peeks through the clouds, valiantly pushing through, until a golden beam swathes me with a circle of warmth. I feel so good my toes curl inward, digging in as deep as they can. I watch the waves play with each other, and my giggle rings out when I notice the color: clear. Completely, and brilliantly clear.
Standing, I brush soft pebbles from my body before running to touch the ocean. It licks at me, teasing me with just the right touch of cool. I make a cup with my hands, then pause as a thought unfurls inside my head. Is this safe to drink? Impulsively, I take a sip, and I'm glad I do because it's as cool and refreshing as it looks, not salty at all. I wasn't thirsty before, but I'm ravenous now. I lap at the water like I'm a puppy, and the picture in my mind is so ridiculous that I laugh and laugh until my insides hurt.
"This is a silly dream," I whisper to myself.
I hear my mom's voice in my head. "Silly dreams are the best."
Amazed, I take in the sight greedily. The water is so clear it's invisible, and I can see through it to the ocean floor. It's white, completely pristine, and devoid of any filth. A killer whale swims by, his dorsal fin two feet above the surface. He circles me, swimming lazily around. I should be scared, but I'm not. He's a gentle giant, and I beckon him closer. When he comes he nudges my feet. I touch his wet skin, marveling at how firm it is. Crouching lower, I peer through the invisible surface as his wide face continues to nuzzle my ankle. Then he makes a little sound and moves away, lazily circling me again. I watch him for many minutes.
Suddenly I feel a tingling sensation down the back of my neck.
"Of all the dreams of all the creatures in all the galaxy, you had to walk into mine."
My heart leaps with excitement. I shouldn't feel happy, but I can't stop the eager breath escaping my lips. When I turn he's watching me, and there's a relaxed smile on his face I've never seen before. I wonder if I have the same smile on my face because he's looking at me as intently as I am looking at him.
"Is this your dream?" I ask, unable to mask my happiness.
He looks adorable when he glances at me. He points to the whale swimming further from us. "Yes, but its turned into a joint effort."
I'm not sure what he means by that, but I don't care. I open my arms wide because I want to hold the ocean, the sand, and the whole world in my lap. I close my eyes and say, "I think we did a pretty good job then."
He moves until he's behind me. "I think so, too."
His breath is near my neck, and I turn around. Instantly, I'm greeted by Rhys's broad chest. In that second I realize he's not wearing what he usually has on. Instead, a white buttoned up shirt is covering his tan body. He leaves a few buttons casually open, and I see a slice of golden skin. Dark shorts go past his knees, and his feet are bare. He looks casual, and very sexy. He can hear my thoughts, and his grin broadens.