“Are ye denying Sophie?”
“Sophie?!”
“Aye, I came to Arbroath fer ye.”
“Ye did?” Oliver asks in disbelief.
“Aye. I did. I saw the two of you. One of the servants also told me it was so”
“Nay. I never married her,” he says with every sincerity, and Amelia’s heart skips with a little joy. “She may have born me a son, but we never married.” Amelia's heart drops again.
“Then why are ye here, shouldn’t ye be with your boy and his mother?”
Oliver's face is gloomy. He looks deep into Amelia’s eyes. “Laying with Sophie was a mistake, and I will never stop regrettin’ it. She birthed me a son whom I truly love, but there is nothing that binds Sophie and me together.” He closes the gap between them and takes her hands in his hands.
“I love you. My love for ye never died. You know how I feel about ye.”
Amelia looks at him, and the sincerity in eyes and voice melts her heart. Should she believe him? How true are his words?
“Amelia…” He closes the space between them and bends to kiss her.
Amelia yearns for him.
She has missed him, missed the taste of his lips on hers. She has longed for him, but...she can’t. This is not right; she is with Thomas now. And being with Oliver means betraying Thomas.
She withdraws her hands instantly from him and takes a step back. “Ye should leave,” she says quietly, trying to avoid eye contact.
“Is because of Thomas? Isna?,” Oliver asks as he looks closely at her face. Amelia looks up at him in surprise, and then averts her gaze.
“Isna. I just think ye should go,” she says without looking at him. There is something in his eyes that makes her want to succumb to him, especially his kiss. Even if she is unsure of Thomas's feelings, she can’t kiss another man knowing that they are still together.
“Amelia…” Oliver pleads, and Amelia's heart sinks. Why does her name sound so soothing when spoken from his mouth? Oliver touches her on the shoulder. “Please listen to me…”
The door of the cottage opens, and Gavina and Owen walk in.
“Ma,” Owen calls and walks towards Amelia with Gavina beside him. Amelia can tell from the surprised expression on Gavina’s face that she didn’t expect the awkward situation she has walked into. When Amelia realizes that Oliver is still holding her shoulder, she shrugs, and Oliver's hand falls back to his side. Amelia steps further away from him.
Owen walks towards his mother with a smile, and Amelia returns the little boy's kind gesture.
“Ma?” Oliver asks in surprise, staring at the little boy.
Ignoring his question, Amelia bends down to Owen and touches him on the cheek with a smile. “Did ye have fun with Gavina?”
“Aye,” the three-year-old boy says in his tiny voice with lips curved in a smile.
“Are you his ma?” Oliver once again asks with slight bewilderment.
Amelia is silent for a minute, then nods slightly.
“Really?” Oliver asks in disbelief.
“Ehem…Ah’ll take the boy tae wash. He is covered in the dirt,” Gavina cuts in and gently grabs Owen's tiny hand. “Come, Owen, let’s clean ye up.”
The boy smiles at Gavina happily, then at Oliver, and then walks away with Gavina to the other side of the little cottage. Oliver watches them until they have left.
“Ye should leave now,” Amelia says hastily as she walks towards the front door.
Oliver walks behind her. “How old is the boy?” he asks.
“It’s no concern of yers, not yer business,” Amelia answers unwaveringly, as she cautiously avoids Oliver’s eyes.
“Please tell me Amelia, I need to know how many years is he?” Oliver persists.
“Ye want tae ken if he is yer son, huh! Aye, he is. He is yer son. Can ye leave now!?”
“Amelia,” Oliver says softly, close to tears, “I never ken…”
“Leave now.” She opens the door for him.
Looking at her, he knows that there is nothing he can say that will make her have this conversation. He exits the cottage.
Chapter 38
“Have this, it’s clean,” Thomas says as he hands Owen the apple he has just washed for him.
Amelia watches as her little boy collects Thomas's apple and runs towards the other farmworkers harvesting the fruit. As he runs through the berry plantation maze, Amelia can tell how happy her son is to be here. She has always noticed how excited her son is whenever he visits the farmland with her.
She can’t tell if his excitement is because the boy enjoys helping with the farm chores, or because he loves to run and explore throughout the expansive fields, which are much larger than their previous plot behind their cottage. Indeed, many things can excite a child.
“The boy seems to enjoy it here,” Thomas admits. He has been watching Owen too.
“Aye. He might perhaps make a good farmer one day,” Amelia jokes with a smile as she bends down to harvest more of the berries. “Or maybe he enjoys this muckle farmland more than the other. Thanks to ye,” Amelia smiles at him. “Hopefully, Ah’ll pay for the payment and finally have them as ma.”
Thomas rolls his eyes and shakes his head. Amelia knows he dislikes her paying him back for the farmland, but she still believes it’s the right thing to do.
“I have told ye not to” he says in a somnolent voice.
“I still believe it’s the right thing to do it,” Amelia says.
Thomas didn’t make any replies to this. Amelia glances at him behind her. He looks like he is lost in his thoughts. She wonders what is occupying his mind.
“Wit’s on yer mind?” Amelia breaks the silence. But Thomas doesn’t say a word, as if he didn’t even here her ask. He bent down to pick many berries from their branch and put it on Amelia’s basket.
“Did Oliver pay ye a visit?”
Amelia hesitates. She wasn’t expecting this question suddenly from him. Naw, he didnae; Amelia wants to say but catches hold of herself. She can’t lie to him. Moreover, Thomas was sincere enough to tell her that Oliver came to visit him. He also explained the sort of conversation they had. So why would hers be different?
“Aye,” she says quietly.
Thomas doesn’t look surprised at her confirmation. It is as if her words are validation of what he already knows.
“What did he say to ye?” Thomas asks further.
“We just talked.”
Really? Was the conversation she had with Oliver really that insignificant? Even though she didn’t discuss much with him, she had learned a few things from him. Some things for which she has not yet had time to confirm.
The emotion from last night, from the moment when Oliver had seen Owen and realized he was his son, came flooding back to her.
Previously, she had wanted to hide Owen from Oliver. However, yesterday night had reminded her of how impossible it would be to do such a thing. Even though she might have her differences with Oliver and may have fallen out of love with him, it’s unfair and improper to keep him away from his son. The boy shouldn’t be denied his father.
“Well, it was bound to happen. He has the right to ken that he has a son,” Thomas says understandingly.
“Aye,” Amelia answers. She is glad Thomas understands and agrees with her on this.
“Ye dinnae accept his love proposal, did ye?” Amelia did not see this one coming.
The question wasn’t if Oliver professed love to her, but if she had accepted. It is as if Thomas knew Oliver would acknowledge his love for her. This makes her wonder what kind of encounter Oliver really had with Thomas. How heated must have been the conversation?
She moves closer to Thomas and places her hand on his cheek. “No, I dinnae accept his love profess,” she says, and smiles at him. Thomas doesn’t smile back but instead looks into her eyes, as if he is searching for something.
“Do ye love me?” he asks her.
Amelia is silent. Even though today is not the
first time he has asked her this question, she never ceases to be startled whenever he does.
And it’s because she has not thoroughly come to terms with her love for him and doesn’t want to mislead him. There might be feelings between them, but she is unsure if these feelings are love or just sex.
Amelia hesitates and looks around the farmland. “Oh, I dinnae see Owen, where could he have gone to?” she says. Of course, she knows the boy is not too far away from them. Still, anything to ignore or distract from answering this question is appreciated.
Thomas shakes his head in disappointment and moves away from her a little. “Ah'm nay surprised. It’s typical of you to ignore this particular question.”
Oh, God! So, he kens, Amelia whispers in her mind.
She comes closer to him. “Thomas, listen, deh get me wrong.”
“I ken Amelia; the only reason why ye have refused to love me is because of Oliver. How can ye love me when ye still love him?”
“Love? Nay! Not love,” Amelia says, but Thomas is reluctant to believe this, and she is also unsure of her words.
“Oh Thomas dear, dinnae be mad with me. Give me time; I will understand my feelings towards ye.”
Thomas looks away, and Amelia understands that he is not having it with her. He has probably grown tired of being with her while her mind is with someone else. She cleans her hand on her apron and attempts to reach out and touch him, but he slowly shifts away from her. She looks at him with astonishment. Is he now avoiding her?
“Ah’m not angry with ye Amelia, but it's just hard tae see him around ye,” he says after a few moments.
Amelia doesn’t know what to say to him. Should she assure him that she will start loving him? But that will mean lying to him. And if she should tell him that she will soon grow to love him, when will that be?
“Ah’m sorry,” she says quietly. That is the closest word that comes out of her mouth and heart. She doesn’t even know why she is apologizing.
“Does he ken aboot Owen?” Thomas asks.
“Aye.”
Thomas looks at her closely with a questioning expression, and she quickly adds, “Naw…He saw him when he came tae see me.”
She doesn’t want Thomas to misunderstand her introducing her son to his father. She wouldn’t want him to think that she is in a hurry to push him away in favour of her son's father.
Thomas nods his head in understanding. But Amelia knows that he isn’t satisfied.
“Well, it was bound to happen; he has the right to ken that he has a son,” Thomas finally says understandingly.
“Aye,” Amelia answers.
There is a moment of silence.
“I have tae go now. I have a client that awaits me,” Thomas states. He gives her a quick side hug. He looks in Owen’s direction, and the wee boy is having a lovely time on the farm. “Say bye to him for me.”
He says and walks away from the farm, leaving Amelia to wonder what’s on his mind.
That evening Amelia rerturn home with her son. Even with profit, farming can indeed be hectic. There is nothing she would like more now than to freshen up and go to bed. But then there is her son. She has to prepare dinner for him…
On approaching her cottage, the smell of porridge fills her nostrils, and she smiles. Gavina is such a darling. Before Amelia left for the farm, her friend had promised her she would stop in the evening to help prepare dinner if she was not home, and she indeed kept to her word.
“Gav, aren’t ye such a darling,” Amelia says with joy as she opens the door of her cottage. However, her smile disappears when she sees Oliver sitting across from Gavina as she sets the table.
“Hen!” Oliver calls. “Owen!” he calls the boy's name too, smiling as he walks towards them. Amelia looks from Oliver to Gavina with a face that speaks a thousand questions.
“Deh blame me, I saw him at yer front door, and he has been waiting long. So, I brought him in,” Gavina says as she drops the pot of porridge on the table.
Amelia is confused, not sure of what to say to Oliver or her friend.
Gavina breaks the silence. “Owen and I will give ye both some space. Come Owen, your ma wants some time with her friend.” She takes the little one’s hand, and they are gone.
“I told ye I dinnae want to see ye here. Ye should leave now please.” She attempts to open the door for him, but he takes her by the shoulder, and they are facing each other.
“Amelia, please listen to me. Laying with Sophie was a mistake, a big one. She seduced me, and I regret becoming her puppet. I dinnae even remember havin’ it with her. And now, Ah’m with her because of the boy.” He looks at her with deep passion. “And, I didnae know ye were with ma son.”
Looking into his eyes, she wants to believe every one of his words, but she is unsure. Before she can open her mouth to say a word, Oliver leans in towards her and steals a kiss.
Amelia had not expected the kiss but…OH! How she missed his sweet tenderness. The urgency of his lips on hers excites her, and he feels the passion within her rising. He explores her with his tongue and they entwine. He moans as she moves to envelope him with the warmth of her body.
“Oh…dear, I have missed ye so much,” he says with passion as he moves to kiss her neck. He wraps his hand around her tiny waist and pushes her closer to him as if she could disappear if he didn’t. Then, again, he passionately retakes her lips and locks them with his…
The cottage door opens, and Thomas walks in.
“Thomas!” Amelia calls while trying to catch her breath.
Chapter 39
Thomas stands rooted to the spot right inside the cottage. “I knocked thrice but got no response,” he says in a deep, low voice.
“Thomas,” Amelia says softly. She struggles away from Oliver’s touches and walks up to Thomas, but Thomas raises his hand in the air as an indication for her to stop. Amelia stops immediately; the rage she senses in him is quite tense. How long has he been standing there watching them kiss?
“I came tae bid ye good night before going home but…” He looks at Oliver, then to Amelia, “I see ye’r having more fun than I expected.”
“A…Ah’m …sorry, I…isna what ye’r thinking… really…”
“I dinnae need any of yer explanations. Ah’ve always known ye dinnae ever love me.”
“Thomas, please….”
“Stop trying, Amelia. We cannae continue like this. Ah’m…let’s just stop,” Thomas says with a bitter voice.
“Please listen tae me…” Amelia pleads.
Thomas glances at her, turns and leaves the cottage, slamming the door behind him. Amelia rushes out and calls after him again, but he does not turn or responds to her call. Devastated, she slowly walks back into the house.
Wit have I done?! Wit disaster have I brought upon myself?! Seeing Thomas leave her cottage in this state, her mind is flooded with devastating thoughts. This is the man who has shown her love over the past many months. He has showered her with love when she expects none.
It is so wrong of her to be caught kissing Oliver when she is in a relationship with Thomas, even when she hasn’t declared her love for him. All this is Oliver’s fault. Why did he have to kiss her?
“Leave my house,” Amelia says, close to tears.
“Amelia…”
“Now!” she shouts in anger. “Everything was braw until ye come along. Now! You've destroyed everything! Everything! Why are ye here? To take my son, huh?” She says as angry tears gather in her eyes.
“Nay! For why would I do that? I am here because I missed you and…”
“I dinnae care! Ye’ve no right to come here. No right!” she says tearfully.
Pointing in the direction that Thomas exited, she says, “He loved me till ye came along, and now he’s gone.”
“Ah’m here, I won’t leave ye. Give me another chance. Let me…”
“Another chance? So ye and Sophie can mess with me. Are ye daft?! Get out’a my house. Now! I dinnae want to see ye again!” Amel
ia says with fury as tears roll down her cheeks.
Right now, knowing deep down that she’s too angry to be rational, the best thing she can so is to make Oliver leave her house. Having him here, now, is just clouding her thoughts andmaking her angrier.
Knowing what’s best for him and the situation at hand, Oliver slowly walks to the door. He takes a long look at Amelia, who is now sitting on a chair in her little dining room, gently weeping into her hands. He sighs and leaves the cottage.
Amelia raises her head from her hand when she hears the door shut. Perhaps it’s the stress of the situation she is in now, but she could swear that she heard Oliver’s final ‘goodbye’ over the sound of the door shutting.
Moreover, she shouldn’t be thinking of Oliver now, but Thomas! She needs to set everything right with him, for it's so wrong of her to toy with his heart. She must think of a way to apologize to him first thing tomorrow morning, praying he might find forgiveness in his heart.
She cannot believe what has just transpired; she has succeeded in losing both of the men who have loved her in one single night. Indeed, love has nothing left in store for her.
Two days after the fateful night with Amelia in Dunfermline, Oliver arrives at Arbroath. In his heart is a hole that he believes can never be filled. He remembers how happy he was to see Amelia in Dunfermline and how he had dreamed that their problems would be resolved with a simple conversation.
He never anticipated that things would worsen to the point of Amelia rejecting him completely from her life. No matter how many times he goes over it in his mind, it still doesn’t make any sense to him. It just makes him more miserable.
As he arrives at his castle that early evening, nothing seems to have changed. For the past three weeks, he has been in Dunfermline instead of the one week he had planned, yet the only thing he missed about his home while away was Max.
Highland Lover: A Historical Highlander Steamy Romance Collection (Highland Lover Series Book 6) Page 16