Hold (Gentry Boys #5)

by Cora Brent

CHASE

  It took some doing but I had the apartment gleaming by the time the afternoon was over. Steph tended to be even more messy than I was so things often got a little out of hand by the time one or the other of us threw up our hands and went into a scrubbing, vacuuming, tidying frenzy.

  In fact I wasn’t really expecting her home yet. I was industriously vacuuming the dust out of every living room crevice I could find. The hand that touched my arm made me shriek like a banshee and jump about eight feet in the air.

  “Sorry,” Stephanie smirked, obviously amused. “You should see your face.”

  I switched the vacuum cleaner off. “You’re early. I had plans to have a king sized carton of pepper steak waiting for you.”

  “Thanks anyway,” she said, dropping her purse and then plopping down on the couch. “I’m not too hungry.”

  “Morning sickness?”

  She grimaced and folded her arms over her belly, leaning forward. “I don’t know why they call it that. Definitely not exclusive to the morning.”

  I folded up the vacuum cord and pushed it into a corner before joining her on the couch. “Baby, what can I do?”

  Stephanie raised her head. Her riotous hair hid her face and slowly she moved it out of the way so she could see me clearly. “It’s okay, Chase. I’m just not hungry.”

  “I’m not talking about food.”

  She looked confused for a second and then it seemed to dawn on her that I was diving into more serious waters. She sighed and leaned back on the couch. I leaned with her. We stared at the ceiling together and listened to the yipping of our neighbor’s dog. Finally, almost tentatively, she reached for my hand. Hers was so small, strangely cold. I held it in my palm and brought it to my lips.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ve been an asshole lately.”

  “Maybe we’ve both been assholes.”

  She laced her fingers through mine and smiled vaguely. “You’re trying to make me feel better.”

  “I’m trying to make you feel something.”

  She stopped smiling. She opened her mouth as if she was going to speak but then she quickly closed it and looked away.

  “Stephanie. Look at me dammit.”

  She looked. Stephanie was never one to skip around, broadcasting her emotions with a megaphone, but I could read this girl pretty well after nearly four years. There was something timid, almost fearful, about the look she was giving me.

  Of course the million dollar question was what the hell was she afraid of?

  Was she afraid of what I was going to say?

  Or was she afraid of what she needed to say to me?

  Fuck it. I’d been cutting a wide circle around her for long enough. Everything was fine and dandy until the night she told me she was pregnant. Or at least I’d thought so. It was time to get it all out there, for better or for worse.

  “Stephanie, we’ve been together a long time. You’re sexy and infuriating and sensitive and complex. You’re not flawless and neither am I. God knows every day isn’t perfect but somehow we’re right together, you and me. And I couldn’t love another woman the way I love you.” I took a deep breath and gently reached over to tip her chin so she would have no choice but to look me in the eye. However she really felt, she wouldn’t be able to hide it now. “Do you want a life with me, Stephanie? Do you want this baby?”

  “Chase,” she whispered and swallowed painfully. Her eyes swam with tears. “You’re my whole world. I love you more than anything. I love you so much it scares me at times.” She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, exhaling with a ragged shudder. “Of course I want a life with you. Of course I want to have your baby. God, Chase, I want to have a whole houseful of your babies and-“

  I kissed her. I held her face in my hands and kissed her with passion and intensity. She clutched me closer and returned every bit of that intensity until my heart was pounding and my dick was hard and what I wanted to do the most was seal the occasion by getting inside of her.

  Instead I broke the kiss. I pulled back and stared her straight in the eye. “What are you afraid of then?”

  A tear rolled down her cheek. She sniffed and looked away. “Can you even picture me as someone’s mother? I mean, I’ve never taken care of anything, not even a hamster.”

  “Steph.” I kissed her forehead. “You’ll be a wonderful mother. You’re loving and strong and every time I look at you I’m in awe, sweetheart. Absolute unfiltered awe. I won’t lie and say this won’t change anything because of course things will change. But nothing will ever alter the fact that I am utterly devoted to you. If you want law school, we’ll figure out how to get you there. Just don’t doubt us. There’s nothing we can’t do together. I really believe that.”

  “Oh, Chase.” She was crying freely now. “It’s not that I doubt you. And it’s not that I doubt us. If I ever made you believe that was the case I’m so sorry.”

  I didn’t say anything. I just held her and waited for her to calm down enough to continue.

  “I’ve been thinking about my mother,” she whispered. “I really wish she was here. I wish there was someone to tell me how to do this.” She swiped at her eyes. “I wish she’d had the privilege of living long enough to meet her grandchild. It hurts so bad when I think about how much she would have loved this baby.”

  So that was it. I should have guessed. Stephanie had adored her mother. She had died of cancer when Steph was a teenager. It was the most painful event of Stephanie’s life and she rarely spoke of it.

  She stayed in my arms while I stroked her hair and let her cry. She needed that, a good cry. When her tears finally began to let up and her breathing returned to normal, I tipped her chin up again.

  “She’d be so proud of you,” I said. I didn’t have to know Stephanie’s mother to know that it was true. “So incredibly proud.”

  That made her smile a little. “I really wish she could have met you. She would have loved you too.”

  I permanently abandoned the idea of grand gestures. I knelt at Stephanie’s feet and took her hand once more.

  “I could have planned better for this,” I told her as she stared down at me, looking like a flushed angel. I kissed her hand and continued. “But someone wise told me the best moments in life are the unscripted ones. So I’m just going to say the words that are in my heart and wait for your answer. Stephanie Bransky, I love you more than I would have ever believed it was possible to love anyone. Will you marry me?”

  She leaned her forehead into mine. “You know I will, Chasyn Gentry.”

  I grinned and pushed her long hair aside. “I wouldn’t mind hearing it one more time.”

  Stephanie slipped off the couch and into my lap. “Yes,” she whispered. “I will absolutely marry you.”

  “Anytime?”

  “Anywhere.”

  “Tomorrow?”

  She laughed. “If you’d like. But I think Saylor and Truly will have a fit if we don’t plan some kind of an event. They’ve been waiting for this you know.”

  “Have you?” I asked her.

  “Have I what?”

  “Been waiting.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “I never doubted that it would happen.”

  I ran my hands over her hips and pushed her skirt up, repositioning her so she was straddling me. Lifting her shirt slightly, I gently touched her stomach. The protective sense that surged within me was ferocious. I could have moved mountains with it.

  “You think it’s a boy or a girl?”

  She pressed her hand over mine. “I just hope it’s not triplets.”

  I flexed. “It might be. I’m betting my juice is very prolific.”

  Steph rolled her eyes but she was still smiling. “Whatever.”

  I kissed her again. “I can’t wait to marry you.”

  Stephanie’s nausea had subsided for the time being so I whipped up some scrambled eggs with a side of cereal.

  She dug in happily. “Somehow, this looks like the best dinner in the world.”r />
  I swallowed a forkful of eggs. “Pregnancy cravings?”

  She gathered both eggs and cereal together on the same spoon. “Maybe that can explain it. Oh my god, that’s good.”

  “You gonna be in the mood to say that again later? Maybe with even more gusto and some heavy breathing?”

  She gave me a naughty look. “Absolutely. Must be a case of raging, primitive hormones because I swear I almost jumped you when I walked through the door and saw you hunched over the vacuum cleaner.”

  “Next time don’t hesitate.”

  Stephanie put her spoon down. “Chase?”

  “Yeah, baby?”

  “I really do adore you. I always have.”

  I took her hand. “A whole houseful of babies, huh?”

  She gazed soulfully into my eyes. “Each one with your smile.”

  We just dumped all the dishes unceremoniously in the sink. So much for a spotless apartment. I’d get to it tomorrow or something. Who wants to stop and take care of dishes when romance is so thick in the air?

  Stephanie had already kicked off her heels as I followed her to the bedroom.

  “Wait,” I demanded as she started to unbutton her shirt.

  She stopped. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” I moved her hands to her sides. “Keep them there. I want to do this my way.” I started to unbutton her blouse while she kept still. I slid the fabric from her shoulders and admired the view. “You’re so beautiful,” I said, hearing the lust in my voice and wondering how long it would agree to stand down. I unhooked her bra, letting it fall, and cupped her sweet breasts in my hands. They felt more delicate, hotter to the touch, than usual.

  “Careful,” she moaned. “They’re kind of sore these days. Pregnancy thing.”

  For some reason the warning made me even more insanely hard. I laid her down gently on the bed, sliding her skirt down, followed by her panties. Now I could detect the slight changes in her body. She was still slender but when I ran my hand over her lower belly there was a firm, swollen feeling to the skin that hadn’t been there before. I would know. I knew every inch of her by now.

  “That’s you in there,” she whispered as my hand lingered.

  “It’s us,” I corrected, scooting back enough so that I was able to easily remove my shirt and pants. I was dying to get skin on skin but I wanted to enjoy her for a little while longer first. Lightly, carefully, I massaged her tender breasts.

  “Too hard?” I asked when she started to squirm.

  “No,” she breathed, biting her lip. “Just right.”

  “So, what are the rules? What can we do?”

  She gave me a wicked smile from down there on the pillows. “This early we can do everything. Technically, anyway. It’s just that the lady parts can sometimes feel a bit raw.”

  I lightened my touch. “I don’t want to hurt you. Tell me if it’s too much.”

  “You couldn’t hurt me.”

  I massaged lower, over her chest, past her belly. I smoothly opened her legs and stroked her thighs, my thumbs circling higher and higher. Stephanie bit her lip and threw her head back while her inner thigh muscles began flexing instinctively.

  I rolled my thumbs higher, teasing. “Is that good, honey?”

  She let out a squeak and grabbed the pillow behind her head. “Yes,” she gasped.

  I slipped both thumbs inside her with ease. Damn, I’d heard about these pregnancy hormones but she was ready to come already. I smiled and withdrew, grazing her entrance with just the tips of my thumbs.

  That drove her wild. She bucked her hips and screwed her eyes up tight as she arched her body toward me desperately.

  “Just fuck me,” she begged.

  “Damn, what a filthy mouth on my sweet bride.”

  She glared. “I’ll give you a fucking filthy mouth.”

  This was fun. “I don’t know Steph, maybe we should save it for the wedding night.”

  She sat up on her elbows, sputtering. “What are you talking about? We’ve already fucked like a thousand times.”

  “I just don’t want to deplete the mystery.”

  Stephanie threw a pillow at my head.

  I answered by grabbing her hips and slipping inside.

  “Mmm,” she moaned, falling back onto the mattress, ecstasy on her face, hair splayed out in all directions.

  Even though she’d said we were completely green lighted for sex I couldn’t help being more gentle than usual. I got her to the climax slowly, reveling in the look on her face as she came, sending out a million silent thank yous to the universe that she was mine forever. We fell asleep tangled up in one another, her cheek against my chest, my hand on her stomach.

  When the phone rang I was dreaming and in my dream I was in a dark cave.

  Fear was everywhere and my hands clutched something I’d thought was a weapon. Until I looked down and realized it was nothing but a frayed piece of rope. I threw it down in disgust and stared ahead, squinting, trying desperately to see, but there was very little light.

  “What’s up there, up ahead of us?” I asked because somehow I knew I wasn’t in there alone.

  “Nothing as terrible as what’s behind us,” my companion growled and took the lead. “Come on. We have to keep looking.”

  “Will we find him?”

  “We have to.”

  “We’ll fight for him.”

  “Of course.” Then my friend let out a defeated sigh. “We have no weapons.”

  I looked down at my empty hands. I closed them into fists and then opened them again.

  “Yes we do.”

  It took a few rings for me to realize that the noise was coming from my phone. And that my phone was in some unknown place inside the apartment. Stephanie was still sound asleep so I leapt out of bed, trying to get to it before it woke her. As I hunted for the source of the sound I hoped it was just a random drunk dial. After all, anyone who called at this hour wouldn’t have anything nice to say.

  The sight of my brother’s phone number was a knife of anxiety right in my gut.

  “Cord. Is Creed okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  “The girls? Saylor? Deck?”

  “They’re all fine, Chase.”

  I exhaled with relief and sank into the nearest chair.

  “Who’s not fine then?”

  My brother took a deep breath. Whatever it was the words weren’t coming easy to him. “She’s dead. He didn’t kill her but you know he still killed her.”

  I swallowed. I had to close my eyes because the room had suddenly begun to spin. I didn’t ask him who he was talking about. I didn’t need to.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CORD

  “I hate this,” she said miserably.

  “I know.”

  “And I hate to think of you going down there.”

  “I know.”

  Creed had said he’d be here in half an hour to pick me up. That gave me time for a shower but not much else. I toweled off and pulled on a pair of jeans while Saylor sat on the edge of our bed and watched me with sadness.

  “Oh god Cord, I’m so sorry.”

  I leaned on the sink, facing away from her. I didn’t want her to see my face right now. It didn’t matter that Maggie Gentry was never a true mother in any way that counted. It didn’t matter that she’d let drugs and her piece of shit husband wreck her inside and out. She was the only mother I was going to have in this lifetime and she’d descended into nothing but a pitiable object long before the end came for her.

  “Cord.” Saylor had crept behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist and kissing my back.

  I turned around and buried my face in her neck, inhaling warmth and love as she cradled my head. She hadn’t argued with me when I told her the boys and I needed to drive down there and that no one else other than the three of us brothers were included. After all, there would be no touching service to honor a beloved mother and grandmother. The woman who’d choked on her own vomit and died alone on
a dirty bathroom floor was none of those things.

  Despite all that, there must have been an unresolved piece of my heart that always wished she would escape her demons somehow. It was that hidden, hopeful fragment that let out a sob on my wife’s shoulder as she held me.

  But there was no time to indulge in grief. I could hear the low growl of Creed’s truck engine right outside. I knew he would have enough sense not to honk the horn, considering the sun wouldn’t rise for well over an hour, but I didn’t want to keep him waiting.

  Saylor kissed me. Without speaking a word she went to the closet and handed over a shirt. She waited for me in the bedroom while I threw on the shirt and grabbed a pair of shoes.

  “I love you,” she told me, handing over my phone and wallet as I headed out.

  I turned around to look at her. I wanted to remember what waited for me right here once I was done with the day’s sorrow. “I love you too.”

  She folded her hands in her lap and stared at them. “You want me to say anything to the girls?”

  “They don’t need to know the details. Just tell them Daddy had a secret mission. And that when I get back we’ll light those sparklers.”

  She bit the corner of her lip, something she did when she was especially worried. “Don’t stay down there long, Cord.”

  “No. I won’t.”

  And I wouldn’t.

  My chest felt heavy as I left my house, locking the front door. Creed had picked up Chase first and they waited inside Creed’s pickup truck, Chase in the back of the cab. I knew their profiles as well as I knew my own. They just sat there together, waiting. Waiting for me, the missing piece of the Gentry triplet puzzle. The things we shared went way back to before we even knew our own names. I didn’t say anything as I climbed into the passenger seat and shut the door.

  Creed waited for my nod before he took the truck out of park and pulled into the street. Chase reached from the backseat and touched the back of my head, patting gently a few times for comfort before he withdrew to stare out the back window.

  I’d already told them the short version of the tragedy on the phone. There were some details missing but all I knew was what Gaps had told me.

  From what the authorities could tell, it was probably around thirty six hours ago that Maggie Gentry had collapsed on the floor of the bathroom and drowned in her own vomit. Benton had been out drinking and once he came home it apparently didn’t occur to him for a good eight hours to check on his wife. And then even after he found her lying on the floor he just shrugged and figured she was unconscious since passing out in that house was about as regular as a sunny day in the Sonoran desert. But when he went to go take a piss and she hadn’t moved and her eyes were open, his pea-sized alcohol-soaked brain started to realize that she wasn’t asleep. By that time she was cold to the touch. The autopsy would tell if she had any garbage in her system but it didn’t matter. Everyone in Emblem knew Maggie was a hopeless junkie and everyone knew who kept feeding her that shit. It was a fool’s dream at this point to believe anything would happen to Benton even if he’d stuck the needle in her veins himself. Gaps all but said so over the phone although he did mention that Emblem PD was happy to haul Benton in for taking a half assed swing at one of the paramedics. He’d been sitting in a jail cell since Maggie’s body was taken away. Gaps didn’t comment on Benton’s state of mind and I didn’t ask. That fucker had no business even being alive as far as I was concerned.