by C. R. Pugh
“I almost didn’t.” I shivered at the memory. “Soon after I left, the Sabers picked up my scent.” I heard Thorne mutter a foul curse under his breath. “There’s a den not far from General Wolfe’s compound. They stalked me for days until I was rescued by the General’s soldiers. I was lucky, though.”
“Explain,” he demanded in that bossy tone again.
“If they had decided to take me away when I was younger, or I’d waited and hadn’t packed supplies, I would have died. The Elders take the infants into the forest to die. I saw the truth for myself the night that I ran away.”
Thorne’s blue eyes froze over and his hands curled into fists in his lap. “You saw one of your Elders do this?”
His voice was fairly terrifying. I’d hate to ever end up on the wrong side of his temper.
“The night I ran, I followed one of them to the fence. That was actually how I managed to escape. He was carrying a newborn child in his arms and left him out on a stone, like a sacrifice.”
Thorne wiped his hand down his face. “I cannot believe any person, any clan, would stoop to such things.” He cast his eyes in my direction, forgetting even to hide his marred face from me. “If he had not been there, how would you have managed to get through the fence?”
“Well … the wires of the fence ran horizontally. There was about a foot of space between each wire. So,” I drawled. “I was going to get a running start and dive through the wires. I’ve never been electrocuted before, but I was hoping that I would heal like I had always done.”
He spat out a curse and ran his fingers through his hair. “You could have been killed!”
“I was nine,” I said with shrug. “It was my only plan and a chance I was willing to take.”
Thorne shook his head in contempt. “If we had known in Peton, we would have taken all those children,” he murmured regretfully. “There are many families that cannot have children. They would have gladly adopted them. Those Elders …”
I held up a hand to ward off the dispute I knew was coming. “I understand. I do. It never sat well with me what the Elders did, but the people felt they had no choice. The law was the law. They were not fighters and no one wanted to be exiled for defying the law. Those people wouldn’t have survived one day in the Valley. Giving away a baby was easier than forfeiting a safe and comfortable life in the clan. Most people only had one child, just to be safe.”
“Still, it is unforgivable,” he said gruffly. There was anger in his eyes, but also pity.
“Don’t look at me that way!” I hissed. “Do not feel sorry for me. I’ve come to terms with what’s been done and I wouldn’t go back even if I wanted to.”
“I don’t pity you.” He took a moment to choose his words carefully. “The life that you have lived has made you who you are. This I respect and admire. I just …” his jaw clenched with barely concealed fury, “... just thinking about someone trying to take one of my sisters away … I would kill the one who tried.”
As he continued to ponder my story, I let my eyes linger over his form. The thorny tattoos gleamed in the light on his lean arms. His white-blonde hair curled wildly on his head and I had the feeling he liked it that way. When I glanced up, he had hidden his scars from me again.
“Don’t do that.” The words fell out of my mouth before I could catch them and his eyes hardened immediately. “I’m sorry, but you – you don’t need to hide them.”
The muscles in his jaw ticked again, and I felt guilt over my remarks. I hadn’t intended to make him uncomfortable or angry.
“You should lie down and rest,” he muttered, ignoring my comments and the awkwardness between us.
“Aren’t you worried about the soldiers?”
“I have ordered the others to take shifts for the next twelve hours. I will take a shift closer to morning.”
Dismissing me completely, Thorne stretched out on his back and closed his eyes. Leaving some space between us, I curled up on my side, facing him. He was between me and the tent flaps, another act of protectiveness. I had called him overprotective two days before, what felt like a lifetime ago, but I knew it had been instilled in him due to his sisters. He had been their guardian.
My thoughts were still in a whir about accepting his protection tonight and the next three days. It was not like me to play the woman-in-distress. Of course, every time we had stumbled upon each other, I was in distress. The first time we had met I was chased by three or four heavily armed soldiers, and then yesterday, I was stabbed and left for dead. Just a normal day for me.
I couldn’t help but think of what he’d told me. You have a different choice you can make. It was impossible to deny that I was intrigued by the freedoms I could have in a place like Peton. I could be a Warrior, like Thorne; like his sister, Tallon. It was the goal of my journey to live by the ocean, and they had that in Peton.
However, there was no way to know if they would be so accepting of my healing as Thorne was, but I wouldn’t find out unless I made the decision to go.
18
Thorne
It did not take long for Ravyn to drop off to sleep. I continued to lay motionless on my back, just listening to her breathe and pondering all she had said. The story of her past was unbelievable and appalling. My blood was still boiling over her tale of all the infants left out in the Valley to die. Could that really be true? I ran a frustrated hand through my hair and down my face, imagining that happening to any of my sisters …
I sat upright and swallowed back the bile that threatened to rise up from my belly, then turned to gaze at Ravyn. She was curled up on her side, arms tucked to her chest. Even as she slept she was protecting herself. Her hair was spread around her in disarray, leaving her perfect face completely exposed. There was not a blemish on her, thanks to her gift, and despite all the horrible things she had told me, her spirit remained unbroken.
Her ability to heal left me feeling rattled. I still could not quite believe what I had seen with my own eyes and wondered how on earth I could take her back to Peton. Everything in me knew that what her body could do was an extraordinary gift, but not many would see it that way. As a Warrior, having the ability to heal quickly was an advantage. I imagined others growing envious of her gift and wanting to exploit it, as the General had done. Some would see only the demon that the rumors told of. The thought of Ravyn being banished again or executed made my stomach turn. I did not want that done to her.
There had to be a way to hide it from the clan, especially the Elders. My own father was likely to detest her simply for being an outsider. He was only interested in his political standing within Peton and would squash anything that came between him and his aspirations. That included his expectations of me.
Despite all the problems, it felt right having Ravyn near. At first it was only curiosity. I thought my interest would diminish after meeting her, but she continued to intrigue me. She had an instinct for survival but contradicted it by risking herself to shield everyone around her.
I was still at a loss over her reaction to hiding my ravaged face. It was a habit I had developed to keep people from insolently staring at the marks, but she had berated me for doing so. I did not know whether to shout at her or kiss her for calling me out.
Heaving a sigh, I knew deep down what I should do. It was my duty to protect her, just as I would the exiles we brought home. Ravyn needed a safe place, and what better place than behind our strong walls? The General would need to have a long reach to track her and capture her there. My mountain cabin was isolated enough to keep her healing a secret and close enough to the sea to entice her to stay.
Beyond that, though, Gunter was right. I wanted to claim her as my own, to keep her safe with me. I felt a tightening in my chest when I thought of her walking away from me.
I rolled my eyes and clenched my jaw. Gunter never had this problem. He always had the females of Peton sighing and tripping over him with his looks and his charming words. My words alone would never help me win Ravyn over. D
uring our conversation, I had bumbled around and made her angry at every turn.
Unable to sleep just yet, I left Ravyn to rest and went to find Gunter for an update. He was sitting alone by the fire, sharpening his blade.
“All is quiet,” Gunter said, never looking up or breaking the rhythm of scraping his blade over the stone. “Pierce and Brock are still gone, but they still have a couple of hours yet till sunset. Archer is somewhere on the perimeter, setting up traps with Max. Everyone is armed.”
“Good,” I replied, joining him by the fire.
“I’ve been thinking about that captive that escaped.”
“And?”
Gunter finally peered up at me out of the corner of his eye. “He had to have help getting out. I inspected the cage. The lock was cut with a tool.”
“Ravyn does not have anything like that in her bag,” I assured him.
“Someone else must have come to his aid, then.” He continued his scraping. “One of those crossbow-brothers, or a soldier perhaps. Another exile wouldn’t have a tool like that, either. It doesn’t add up.”
“There is definitely something strange going on. I intend to find out before we go back, Gunter.”
Gunter glanced up at me out of the corner of his eye. “Did you claim her yet?”
My eyebrows shot up. “Are you crazy?”
He shrugged. “I’m just going to keep asking until you do. What are you afraid of?”
I gritted my teeth together and stared into the open flame.
“Are you still worried about your scars?” Gunter said angrily. “I’m going to beat you to a pulp, and I’m sure the other Warriors would help me.” He gripped my shoulder. “Stop worrying so much, Thorne. You are a good man. Any woman would be lucky to have you as their protector.”
“Ravyn is just as skilled as many of our Warriors in Peton. She does not need a protector.”
Gunter pondered for a moment. “Maybe ‘protector’ is too strong a word. You told me you didn’t want someone who nagged and worried all the time. You need a partner.”
I was stunned by his observation, and I found myself nodding in agreement. Now I just had to find a way to convince Ravyn.
19
Ravyn
My body was aching from standing so stiffly. But that was what I had to do to make them think that I was a soldier. I stood like a statue and stared straight ahead. If I even blinked too many times he would notice. He noticed everything.
We were all lined up today for a final test in one of the many training rooms. This one was not very large. It had just enough room for about fifteen of us to be lined up from end to end. There were bright fluorescent lights overhead and the walls had been painted bright white. The only piece of furniture in the room was a table at the other end of the line of soldiers, opposite me. From the corner of my eye, I saw a wide selection of guns and knives. General Wolfe had warned us that this day would come. The day we would finally become ‘active-duty’ soldiers, ready for combat.
I was filled with dread when I saw the General strolling past the line of soldiers toward the table, inspecting us all as he went. I could not falter. I was so close to gaining my freedom.
“Today is the day, soldiers,” he said with a vicious sneer. He enjoyed watching us suffer. “This is the final part of your training. After this, there is no going back. DO YOU UNDERSTAND, SOLDIERS?”
“YES, GENERAL!” we all shouted together in unison.
He was just as deadly as a Saber, and resembled one too. He stood at five feet, nine inches … just an inch taller than me. His hair was a mix of black, silver, and gray, giving him the coloring of the Sabers I’d seen in the Valley when I was just a child. His cruel, gray eyes saw our weaknesses and took joy in exploiting them.
In the line of soldiers, I was first. I was TS1. That was my rightful place, according to General Wolfe. Two stood beside me to my right, enjoying every moment of this. The General stood at the far end of the line by the last soldier in this recruiting class.
All of them had been turned. They had all been broken by the General’s methods. But his mental attacks and constant beatings had not had the same effect on me. I survived, and I was still in control of my own mind. I could never let him know.
The door to the room burst open and several older soldiers marched inside. They were escorting what looked like prisoners. Each of the prisoners had black covers over their faces, hiding their identities from us. They placed one of those prisoners in front of each of us.
And then I knew.
The General’s footsteps marched closer. He was coming for me. He was always coming for me. Fear flooded my heart because I knew what he was going to order me to do, and I would not do it.
“TS1,” he barked at me. “Take this weapon and kill.” He held out a knife with a deadly serrated edge, expecting me to set the example for the others.
My body had become so tense I thought my spine would snap. My heart pounded in my chest. My deception was finally at an end. I had done a lot of things that I wasn’t proud of, but I would not do this.
The General leaned in until he was barely an inch from my face. “TS1, did you not hear me? Take this weapon and kill that man.”
When my eyes turned to his, he flinched in surprise.
“No.”
***
With a frightened gasp, I sat up instantly upon waking, much like I always did. The darkness was thick, like solid black walls closing in on me. My heart pounded inside my chest and my hands shook.
Where was I? Why was it so dark?
“It’s not real,” I whispered, trying to take deep breaths. “Not anymore. It was just a dream.”
I crossed my arms and hugged my middle, making myself smaller to get away from the overwhelming darkness around me. Breathing deeply was not helping. My chest tightened up even more and my panting quickly turned to sobbing. Like a jittery bird, I swiveled my head back and forth, straining my eyes to find anything that was familiar.
“Ravyn?”
I gasped again and recoiled at the sound of Thorne’s voice before I remembered that I was inside his tent. Relief flooded my mind. I wasn’t at the compound. I was safe.
“Where are you?” I whispered between my sobs. I reached my hand out into the inky blackness, searching, trusting that he would find me. Without a word, he grasped my hand and drew me into his lap, wrapping me up in his arms. I hid my face in the crook of his shoulder, but I knew he’d noticed the tears that were streaming down my cheeks. There was no hiding my trembling body either.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” he murmured into my hair as he stroked my back.
My breathing was out of control and the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. Regardless, I had no idea what to say to him. The memory of that day sickened me beyond words.
“Can we get out of here? Please? I can’t breathe.”
Thorne was quick to comply. He cradled me in his arms easily and carried me out into the night air. Normally this would annoy me, but with the way I shook, I wouldn’t have made it two steps.
Relaxing against him was impossible. We’d only gone about twenty feet from the camp when I felt my stomach churn and Thorne’s stride was only making it worse.
“Put me down,” I said, pushing myself out of his arms. “I’m going to be sick.”
When my feet hit the ground, I stumbled to the nearest tree, pulled back my hair, and emptied my belly onto the ground. Once I was done retching, Thorne took hold of me again and led me away. I didn’t care much where we went. There was no strength left in me to resist.
The sound of rushing water perked me up just when I thought my legs were going to buckle. Then I saw it. Light glinted off the choppy surface of the stream. I dropped to my knees at the edge and rinsed the disgusting taste from my mouth. The water was freezing, like newly melted snow. Slowly swallowing, I let the cool liquid linger on my tongue and lips and then splashed my face to clear away the remaining tears and sweat. My breathing finally calmed as I stared at
the water bubbling by.
“Feeling better?” Thorne asked, breaking into my thoughts.
Sitting back on my heels, I peered at him out of the corner of my eye where he lounged against the base of a tree just a few feet from me. His body was totally relaxed with his arms folded and his feet crossed at the ankle. The light from the moon shone brightly through the foliage, splashing slivers of light on his face; his entirely unhidden face.
My response should’ve been something like “I’m fine” or “it must have been the meat,” but seeing his wonderfully imperfect face staring back at me gave me courage to speak the truth.
“No,” I murmured. “I don’t feel better.”
“Is it an infection in your wound?”
Thorne’s eyes were filled with a tenderness I recognized. It was one that beckoned me to confide in him. I used to see the same expression on Kieron’s face.
But trusting in Kieron had been a mistake.
Facing the stream again, I pinched my lips together, feeling a lie form on the tip of my tongue. I could do it easily. I could tell him anything and he would never know the truth, but I did not want to lie to him.
Thorne was not Kieron. Thorne didn’t belong to the compound.
“It’s not an infection,” I admitted finally. I wasn’t brave enough to look him in the eye when I confessed, so I stared at the stream instead. “It was a dream. A horrible nightmare. I have them almost every night, but this one -” I choked on my words.
“What kind of bad dream makes a person sick?”
“The things I dream about are things that once happened to me.” I glanced over to measure Thorne’s reaction, but he sat perfectly still, waiting for me continue. “They were real.”
“Tell me,” he said gently.
“The morning we met, do you remember how I told you that I used to be a soldier?”
Thorne nodded.
I looked away into the trees again and began my horrifying tale. “When the General brainwashes the soldiers, his technique is brilliant. Cruel, but brilliant. He spends weeks tearing down a person’s mind until they no longer know who they are. Then he creates for them a new identity. Most of them break easily.”