by C. R. Pugh
I heard clicking and saw tiny sparks shooting out in the dark. Then the room lit up almost blindingly with a brilliant flame. I gasped at the sight, certain that we were both going up in smoke with a fire so great, but it immediately died down into a low campfire in front of Thorne’s crouched position.
He chuckled. “Sorry. I put some alcohol on the flint to get it to catch faster.”
The corners of my mouth lifted in as much of a smile as I could muster. “Where did you get wood, and wood that is dry, no less?”
He grinned like a mischievous boy, making my heart race. “Wood has been stashed here for a long time.” Striding over to me, he effortlessly picked me up and carried me to sit by the fire. “The former commander, Hawke, brought me out here and made me as familiar with the Valley as possible. There are five or six different places out here where I could live for days if I had to. There is plenty of firewood, blankets, and even extra clothes here. The forest provides water and food, but we have that in our packs for now.”
After setting me down, he sat behind me, much like he did the other night by the stream. This time I was not shy of his touch.
He unwound my bandage as gently as possible. “How does it feel?” he asked, inspecting my shoulder to see the damage.
I mustered the courage to finally look down at my wound. The skin was very close to closing over.
“The pain is subsiding,” I replied wearily. I glanced back over my shoulder to see that his expression had turned dark. “What is it, Thorne?”
His eyes had a haunted look about them. “I thought I was going to lose you.” His voice was gruff with emotion.
I turned and wrapped my good arm around his neck. “I thought I was going to die, too,” I said, teeth chattering from the chill. I let him pull me closer to his warmth and rested my cheek on his shoulder. “But I didn’t. You saved me.”
“I don’t ever want to take a bullet out of you again.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
He stroked my hair tenderly and kissed my forehead. He was careful not to agitate my shoulder as he soothed me with his touch.
“You need to eat,” he suggested when I finally stopped shivering.
He pulled out a few packages of dried meat, cheese, and bread. I reached for a piece of the meat first and tried to eat slowly without stuffing too much food into my mouth at once. My shoulder began to tingle with increased momentum as it healed. Now it was only a mild throb beneath the skin.
“I never did ask you before,” I said, lowering my eyes and picking at the piece of bread in my hands. “How is it that you can accept my healing ability so easily?”
Thorne tilted his head and gave me a curious stare. “How is it that you can accept my scars so easily?”
I scoffed and shook my head at the comparison. “It’s not the same thing.”
Thorne shrugged and tugged on my braid playfully. “Why not? There are plenty of people within Peton that have known me all my life, and they cannot look me full in the face anymore. They are afraid of staring and yet, they don’t see me at all.”
“That explains why you hid your face from me at first.”
“They see my position, or they see me as my father’s son,” he said bitterly.
I gazed at his scars for a moment, then lifted my eyes to his. “Even your Warriors stare? I would think they’d have just as many scars. And what about your family?”
Thorne shook his head. “Just civilians. Sometimes the Elders.”
I snorted. “The people who don’t matter as much?”
He stared into the fire, considering my remark. “I suppose you’re right.”
We chewed our food in silence for a few minutes, then Thorne changed the subject. “Do you believe that there could be others in Peton who have gifts? Or maybe even in other clans? They are just … less obvious. Like my night vision.”
“Maybe,” I said thoughtfully. “One of the brothers from that village, Kaelem, could be gifted as well. He seemed to read my thoughts before I spoke them aloud. It was strange. I hope I don’t run into him, or any of them, ever again.”
Thorne skimmed his hand up my back and rested it on the nape of my neck, making me forget all about Kaelem. His silver-blue eyes sparkled in the flickering firelight. They pierced right through me into my soul.
“You didn’t answer my question,” I said softly, my voice trembling. “How can you accept my gift so easily?”
“I saw you before I knew of your gift,” he murmured.
Bringing his other hand to my face, he brushed his finger along my hairline, my jaw, and then my lips. Slowly lifting my hand to his face as well, I traced the claw marks along his cheek with three of my fingers, as I’d longed to do.
“I saw you before you hid your face,” I whispered in return, astonished that I could do more than stutter like an idiot.
I expected him to lean in, and he did, but only to rest his forehead on mine. My disappointment came out in a deep sigh.
“I do want to kiss you, little warrior,” he explained. “But if I start to kiss you right now, I may not stop there. This is no place for that, and you are not yet seventeen. Too young to join, at least in our clan. I will respect this.”
I was relieved that his eyes were closed because I felt my face heating up. It wasn’t as if the thought of being with Thorne hadn’t crossed my mind, and here we were, alone. In Terran, sixteen was old enough if one were married. Apparently, this was not the standard with each clan.
Much of my relief had to do with his restraint as well. If he were anything like Two or Six, he wouldn’t have even asked my permission. It was a miracle I was still untouched with all the attempts they had made to corner me at the compound. I shivered again but for very different reasons.
“You are still cold,” Thorne said, feeling me tremble. “We should shed our wet clothes and wrap up in the blankets.”
“Shed our clothes? Don’t you think that’s going to make the temptation worse?” I asked, grinning.
He gave me a lopsided smirk and ducked his head. “Probably, but I promise to be a gentleman tonight.”
“Shouldn’t we get back to Brock now that I’m healed?”
“It has only been a few hours,” he said. “Some rest will do us both good. We will return while it is still dark.”
Turning our backs on each other, we stripped out of our clothes and I spread them out in front of the fire to dry while we rested. They would still be damp when we returned to them, but it was better than nothing. My cheeks heated as I wrapped up in the blanket that Thorne had offered me and settled down near the warmth of the fire. My heartrate picked up and I couldn’t stop fidgeting after I’d tucked the edges of the blanket around my legs and feet. Thorne sat beside me looking as calm as ever.
“Why is your face so red?” Thorne asked with a grin.
I wanted to smack him. He knew I was embarrassed and was making fun of me. I had only ever felt this vulnerable in front of General Wolfe and his scientists, but that was not by choice. They had always knocked me out with a sleeping gas before they brought me in for their experiments. I’d never told Thorne about any of this though, so it wasn’t fair to scold him for it.
“Being … you know … it makes me nervous,” I stuttered. I couldn’t even say the word ‘naked’ without blushing.
“You have nothing to fear from me,” he said. The grin on his face disappeared into a frown again. “I’m not like those soldiers.”
“I know, Thorne,” I assured him. “And you were right. I’m already feeling warmer.”
It occurred to me that I hadn’t asked about the serum, so I put the question to Thorne.
“I believe it is here.” He grabbed the black bag he had picked up from Two’s camp. The bag wasn’t large but it was filled to the brim. I dug in with both hands until I found them – the syringes filled with serum. There were five of them.
“Lucky they didn’t break when you dove into the river after me.”
“What is this stuff?�
� His eyes narrowed slightly, full of questions. “It does not look like any kind of medicine I have ever seen.”
I took a deep breath and carefully placed the vials back into the bag. The time had come to come clean. I’d made the decision yesterday that I was going to trust him. He’d protected my secrets this far.
“Tell me, little warrior,” he pleaded. “Your eyes have been full of secrets from the moment I saw you.”
My hands began to sweat and my heart raced. “You already know a lot of my story. I told you about much of my life in Terran.”
“But after you ran away, what happened to you?” he inquired. “If you truly care for me, then trust me with the truth.”
Pulling the blanket tighter around my shoulders, I stared into the flames.
“General Wolfe’s soldiers found me about a week after I left Terran. It was the middle of the night and I was surrounded by Sabers when they came along and scared them away. They told me all about their life at the compound and how great it was. They had plenty to eat and great jobs. They had nothing to worry about. They made it sound wonderful. I went with them.
“The compound was everything they said it would be. There were lots of people there, of all ages. I was most interested in becoming a soldier. They had saved me, and I wanted to do the same for others. And even if they decided to banish me like the Terran Elders did, I would have the skills to stay alive in the Valley.”
“How old were you then?” Thorne asked.
“I was only nine years old when they found me.”
Thorne’s eyes widened. “They let you begin training at the age of nine?”
I shook my head. “The first year I lived in the compound I worked other chores with the kids: cleaning, doing dishes, that sort of thing,” I said, rolling my eyes. “It was annoying at first because I hated doing those things in Terran.”
“So you were ten when you began training? That’s still young,” Thorne pointed out. “Our female Warriors do not begin until they turn thirteen.”
I shrugged. “It was mostly body conditioning and strengthening.”
“How did you keep your healing gift a secret from them? Didn’t you get injured?”
“In the first three years, I was able to hide it. But people started getting suspicious once I began learning how to fight. I was thirteen when that phase of training began and the boys my age were all bigger than me so they were always bullying me.”
“And you never showed bruises because you healed so quickly,” he muttered to himself.
“I didn’t know it at the time, but the older soldiers had been watching my progress since I was one of the only girls training. They reported everything to General Wolfe, including the fact that I never seemed to be injured. But he let me be for two more years. I did nothing but train, every day, all day. To be the best, I had to work harder than everyone else. When the boys were napping or messing around during free time, I trained, and soon enough I was beating them more and more.”
I shuddered when I thought back on the next part. That was when the nightmares truly began. “By the time I turned fifteen, I was at the top of my group. There was only one who was better than me. I had caught up to the rest of them in height. I wasn’t as strong as they were, but I was quicker.” That was the year the General had found out for certain. I had worked hard to avoid being cut or scraped, but working with knives and guns – it was inevitable.
“How did he finally find out?”
“He paired me up with more experienced men who were older than me and my group of trainees. Usually when we trained, we didn’t use real blades, but that day he ordered us to. I knew then.”
“He did it purposefully to injure you,” Thorne said. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration, making it stick up in all directions.
“One of the men slashed me right across the cheek.” I ran my finger across my cheek to show Thorne. “They took me straight to the General after they witnessed my skin closing up. The General didn’t even look surprised.”
Thorne furrowed his brows. “You believe he already knew?”
“There was one person who knew my secret.”
“Who was it?” he growled. “One of the soldiers who’s been hunting you? Was it Two?”
I glanced over at Thorne. His eyes seemed to be blazing in the orange glow of the fire. “His name was Kieron,” I said reluctantly. “We had been friends for years. He was my only friend and I foolishly trusted him.”
I gave Thorne a sharp look, letting him know I was done speaking about Kieron.
“And then Wolfe started torturing you?” he asked. “Why? What did it achieve?”
“He was testing my healing capabilities. He wanted to know if there were limits. He started with minor injuries, slowly working his way up to broken bones, and -” My voice caught in my throat.
“And stab wounds? That was how you had been stabbed before? By him?”
When I nodded, Thorne surprised me by pulling me onto his lap. He hugged me tightly against his warm skin.
“He will never touch you again,” he promised.
I tightened my hold and hoped that he was right.
28
Thorne
Holding Ravyn was a soothing balm for my anger after hearing more of what Wolfe had done to her at the compound. I stroked her hair to keep my hands from clenching into fists. It was a miracle she was here, trusting me with her secrets after everything she had gone through. My protective instincts screamed at me to make her mine; to claim her so that I could protect her the rest of our days.
I knew I would not like the answers, but I kept asking my questions.
“When did he begin making this army of mind-slaves?”
“He’s been training kids for years, but these soldiers are more recent,” she said. “I wasn’t quite sixteen yet. About a year ago.”
“He allowed you to keep training?” I asked. “Why would he do that?”
She murmured against my neck, “He was confident that he would finally succeed. He didn’t want me to fall behind. I thought about refusing, but he would have punished me. Besides, I knew that if I had any chance to escape and survive in the Valley, I needed to be at my best.”
“And then he started his methods – his experiments – on you.”
“In between workouts,” she confirmed. “I’m not sure the General ever understood why I never broke. There were times he would get so out of control that his scientists would have to intervene to keep me alive. They risked a lot to help me.”
“They did not do enough,” I growled.
“They were afraid of him.”
When I felt her shiver again, I squeezed her shoulders and whispered, “And you too? I can feel your fear when you speak of him, as with that dark one. Two.”
Ravyn eased out of my embrace to look me in the face.
“Everyone is afraid of something,” she admitted with a sorrowful frown on her lovely face.
The typical grunt I used to shut down a conversation was on the tip of my tongue, but I quickly reconsidered. Ravyn was not just one of the Warriors, or even Gunter who knew me better than anyone. I did not want to shut her out. Perhaps if I led the way, she would let me in.
“That is true,” I agreed.
“And what does the commander fear?” Her tone was teasing, but it was obvious she truly wanted to know.
“Mostly I fear losing my sisters, as they lost their mothers. And the Warriors …” My voice sounded gravelly and thick in my own ears. I cleared my throat and continued. “… I am always afraid of failing them.” Pausing again, I knew I was delving into some of my deepest secrets and it frightened me. “Letting my father down, and also – and I know this may seem foolish – but losing my position as commander.”
“Not at all,” she said. “None of that is foolish.”
“And what of you, little warrior?” I trailed my finger down the side of her face.
“You’re always touching me,” she whispered, but this time she
leaned into my hand instead of flinching.
“I like touching you, now don’t change the subject.”
Straightening her spine, she confessed, “I’m afraid I’ll never stop being hunted, that I’ll never experience a true home of my own. The dark frightens me. I’m terrified of dying alone in the dark. Worse yet, I’m scared that I’ll go on living forever with no end in sight.” Ravyn’s eyes grew glassy with unshed tears, though she never turned away. “And I’m most afraid of loving anyone again … because the General will take them away from me.”
My heart seemed to swell and drop all at once. Could I have heard her properly? Ravyn was afraid of loving again? I could not understand why she had fled last night until this moment. She was terrified of loving me. At the same time, it was painfully clear that I was not the first male that she had cared for.
Keeping my face neutral, I asked, “You loved someone at the compound? The one you trusted? Kieron?”
Ravyn nodded. The grief on her face tore at my heart. I hated the idea that she was loved by someone else. What else would I expect? She was beautiful and clever. Anyone could see that she was a rare gem. But knowing that she had loved him in return filled me with self-doubt again.
“As I said before, Kieron was my only friend. As we grew older, we grew closer. But he’s dead now, so there’s no need for you to worry.”
The jealousy that had sprung to life died just as quickly as it had come. I felt ashamed and selfish. Ravyn was here. She had chosen to come back and admitted she cared for me. Perhaps that was not quite love, but her love for this Kieron had developed over many years. Ravyn and I had only known each other for a few days. Surely these things took time, and her words gave me hope that someday she would love me.
“My jealous pride aside,” I said, grinning in return, “it is nice to finally know you, but where does this serum come into the story?”
Ravyn visibly swallowed, nervous about the topic. I shifted my hand to the curve of her neck beneath her thick braid to gently knead her tight muscles and hopefully help her relax, when I noticed the tattoo. TS1. The tiny characters were inked onto the back of her neck like a brand. Grazing my fingers over it, I suddenly recalled a different tattoo on a different neck. TS39. From the very first time I had spoken to Ravyn. The soldier she’d killed had that same type of marking. And there was a woman called Twelve. I would bet she had the same brand: TS12.